DARIO ARGENTO'S DRACULA

Thomas Kretschmann as Dracula

DRACULA (aka Dario Argento's Dracula and Dracula 3D/2012). Director: Dario Argento.

Jonathan Harker (Unax Ugalde) arrives in the town of Hapsburg to do work for Count Dracula (Thomas Kretschmann), who has a sinister reputation. Waiting for his wife, Mina (Marta Gastini), to join him, Harker renews his friendship with Lucy (Asia Argento), who begins withering from the attacks on her by Dracula. Apparently Dracula is primarily interested in Mina, whom he believes to be a reincarnation of his wife, who died 400 years earlier. Will Van Helsing (Rutger Hauer) be able to save her from the fatal "love" of the vampire? Argento's version of Dracula seems to take its cue from the earlier Dan Curtis telefilm (and other versions), adding an unconvincing pseudo-romantic subplot that barely amounts to anything. The film's main strength is Kretshmann's excellent portrayal of the undead count -- attractive and compelling he makes the best Dracula since Christopher Lee. If only Argento's picture had the entertainment value of the best of the Hammer Dracula films. There is one striking scene when Dracula forms from a swarm of bees then rapidly dispatches several men who are conspiring against him -- naturally this has its share of gore a la Argento -- but otherwise the film is relatively lethargic and minor, with no real justification for yet another version of the story. The other actors all give good performances for the most part, although a fatigued Hauer seems rather uninterested in the proceedings. The picture is not especially scary, but there are some good FX, including a giant preying mantis that seems dragged in as an extra added attraction. This version takes place entirely in Hungary. The following year Kretschmann played Van Helsing -- not Dracula -- in the TV series, Dracula.

Verdict: Paging Peter Cushing. **.

CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS

Woody Allen and Mia Farrow

CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS (1989). Written and directed by Woody Allen.

"When I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too depressed."

Opthamologist Judah Rosenthal (Martin Landau of Mission: Impossible) has a wife, Miriam (Claire Bloom), and children, as well as a mistress, a stewardess named Delores (Anjelica Huston of Manhattan Murder Mystery). Delores is making noises that she wants to "have it out" with Miriam, and keeps pressuring Judah to leave his wife, which Judah will simply not do. Fearing that his life and reputation will be shattered, in desperation Judah turns to his much less respectable brother, Jack (Jerry Orbach), who suggests a certain final "solution"... As this plays out, we also meet documentary filmmaker Cliff Stern (Woody Allen), who has an unhappy marriage to un-supportive wife, Wendy (Joanna Gleason), and finds himself falling for producer Halley Reed (Mia Farrow), who is working with Cliff on a film about his brother-in-law, a borderline obnoxious TV personality named Lester (Alan Alda of Same Time, Next Year). Crimes and Misdemeanors is in some ways an odd and very Allen-like movie, with the two different story lines never quite merging, but the picture is still compelling, amusing, and ultimately horrifying. Its exploration of moral complexities is a little uneven because Judah's solution to the "problem" of his mistress is on a much darker level than Cliff's contemplation of an affair when it is clear that neither he nor his wife are in love with each other. Still, the picture features some wonderful performances (from virtually everyone, although Landau and Huston are cast stand-outs), Allen's typically trenchant dialogue and observations, and a depressing but sadly realistic wind up. Initially seen as a benevolent figure, it is clear that Judah is a selfish and self-justifying monster. There are no dramatic fireworks or revelations concerning his immoral actions, but the ending is nevertheless sickening. The theme of the film seems to be, as Judah states, "only in Hollywood are there happy endings."

Verdict: One of Allen's more memorable and entertaining pictures. ***.

TWIST OF FATE

TWIST OF FATE (aka Beautiful Stranger/1954). Director: David Miller.

"Johnny" (Ginger Rogers), an ex-show girl, is living on the Riviera with her wealthy husband, Louis Galt (Stanley Baker). When she discovers that Louis already has a wife, Marie (Margaret Rawlings), Johnny seeks comfort in the arms of handsome potter, Pierre (Jacques Bergerac of The Hypnotic Eye). But Louis has no intention of letting Johnny go, and matters are complicated by the interference of Johnny's alleged friend, Emile (Herbert Lom), a creep who is out to get what he can. The trouble with Twist of Fate is that its minor twists are generally telegraphed and in any case don't add up to an especially intriguing story line. Rogers gives a decent dramatic performance, Baker and Bergerac are fine, but Lom walks off with the movie with his intense portrayal of the desperate Emile. But when this supporting character seems to be in more danger than the heroine, it's clear that there are decided script problems. David Miller also directed the far superior Midnight Lace with Doris Day and the even better Sudden Fear with Joan Crawford. Rogers was married to Bergerac at the time this film was made. Like all of her five marriages, it lasted only a few years.

Verdict: Not enough twists to save it from its fate. **.

CHARLES WALTERS: THE DIRECTOR WHO MADE HOLLYWOOD DANCE

CHARLES WALTERS: THE DIRECTOR WHO MADE HOLLYWOOD DANCE. Brent Phillips. University Press of Kentucky; 2017.

This excellent biography looks at the life and work of Charles Walters, who started out as a dancer, became a choreographer for both stage and film, and then directed many notable movies at MGM and elsewhere. Walters lived with a male partner, his agent, for many years, was good friends with everyone from Judy Garland to Esther Williams to Lucille Ball (working with the latter on TV specials as well as Du Barry Was a Lady, for which he did the choreography), and by all accounts was a likable and amiable Hollywood presence. The movies Walters directed include Good News, Easy to Love, Summer Stock, Jumbo, Lili, Torch Song with Joan Crawford, High Society, The Glass Slipper, and The Unsinkable Molly Brown, among others. Well-researched and bolstered with interviews, this bio has amusing behind-the-scenes anecdotes a'plenty,and also explores Walters' approach.to "cine-dance" -- dance in the movies. 

Verdict: First-rate look at an unsung Hollywood figure. ***1/2.

LIFE FOR RUTH / WALK IN THE SHADOW

Michael Craig

LIFE FOR RUTH (aka Walk in the Shadow/1962). Director: Basil Dearden.

"You put your personal faith before her welfare -- you let her die!

John Harris (Michael Craig) and his wife, Pat (Janet Munro), have an eight-year-old daughter named Ruth (Lynn Taylor). John has to rescue Ruth and a young friend when they go out on a boat in choppy waters to get the girl's ball. The boy is saved, but John is told that only a blood transfusion will save Ruth's life. John's religion, similar to Christian Science (although never named) is against transfusions and medical intervention and fears Ruth will be denied everlasting peace in the next world. Dr. Brown (Patrick McGoohan) is utterly appalled by Harris' attitude -- even Harris' wife eventually asks the doctor to do all he can to save Ruth but it's too late. Brown decides to see that Harris is prosecuted for his actions -- or lack of same -- and he is arrested on a charge of manslaughter under the "cruelty to children" act. Brown wants no more children to die because of simple-minded religious dogma so the whole thing will have to be resolved in a courtroom ... What makes the picture even more interesting is that Harris is not really portrayed as some kind of monster, but genuinely thinks he's doing the right thing, until he has a powerful epiphany in the courtroom. Michael Craig, who could play doctor playboys [Doctor in Love] and Civil War heroes [The Mysterious Island] with equal aplomb, proves his versatility yet again with his excellent portrayal of the simple yet tormented John Harris. Munro, McGoohan and the supporting cast, including Megs Jenkins as Pat's mother, are all excellent as well. Cinematography by Otto Heller [Richard III] and a score by William Alwyn [She Played with Fire] add to the film's quality.

Verdict: Powerful, well-acted, and completely absorbing. ***1/2.

IN THE MEANTIME, DARLING

Jeanne Crain and Frank Latimore

IN THE MEANTIME, DARLING (1944). Produced and directed by Otto Preminger.

Maggie (Jeanne Crain of State Fair) is a somewhat spoiled, upper-class gal who arrives at a seedy hotel off base to marry Lt. Daniel Ferguson (Frank Latimore). Maggie loves Danny, but she is dismayed by the lack of privacy and living conditions in the hotel, which is run by the widow Armstrong (Jane Randolph), whose husband was killed overseas. Maggie tries to pitch in with the other gals but finds she has little training for anything. Then Danny mistakenly believes that Maggie has gotten pregnant ... In the Meantime, Darling is a minor but still significant film that looks at the problems of women who every day have to face the fact that their husbands may go off to war and never come back, and there is an air of poignancy and sorrow because of it. There is an especially lovely and sobering scene when Maggie goes into Mrs. Armstrong's apartment and sees the wedding pictures and other photos, then comes upon the announcement of her husband's posthumous awards from the Army. Crain and Latimore both give excellent performances as the lead couple, and there is nice work from Gail Robbins [The Fuller Brush Girl] as another wife named Shirley. (One can't realistically imagine this marriage lasting, however, as Shirley's husband, Phil, played by Stanley Prager, is not only fat and homely but rather insensitive to his wife's needs as well.) Clarence Muse is also notable as Henry, the black porter for the hotel, who does not play in a subservient fashion and whose character's son is also in the Army overseas. Henry is treated as a three-dimensional African-American character, a rarity in this time period. Other cast members include Eugene Pallette, Mary Nash (as an especially disagreeable mother-in-law), Olin Howland, Elisabeth Risdon, Glenn Langan, and even Blake Edwards in the acting phase of his career in an uncredited bit. This was the first picture for Latimore, who also appeared in 13 Rue Madeleine with James Cagney, Shock with Vincent Price, and ultimately amassed 70 credits.

Verdict: Warm and sentimental in the right way, and very well-performed. ***.

JEALOUSY

Nils Asther and Jane Randolph

JEALOUSY (1945). Director: Gustav Machaty.

Peter Urban (Nils Asther of Storm at Daybreak) was a successful author before he fled Europe, but in the U.S. he has become a bitter, alcoholic and suicidal failure. His wife, Janet (Jane Randolph of The Mysterious Mr. M) drives a cab to make ends meet. One afternoon she meets a kindly doctor, David Brent (John Loder), and the two fall in love. Although she feigns happiness over this development, Brent's assistant, Monica (Karen Morley of The Mask of Fu Manchu), is secretly heartbroken. Then someone gets shot in the head ... Jealousy is an interesting romantic melodrama with some poetic touches that just misses being really special. The screenplay could have used more development (and more running time) and the two leads -- Randolph and Loder -- are barely adequate as the lovers. Asther is more effective as Peter, and the best performances come from Morley as the complicated Monica and Hugo Haas (who directed quite a few cheap thrillers) as Peter's amiable friend, a minor actor named Hugo Kral. There's a lovely scene when Monica first learns that David is in love with someone else, and she goes into the bedroom to change, making happy talk for his sake, but we see in the mirror a true reflection of her inner feelings. Another interesting moment occurs when Monica, who has written a medical tome, inscribes it lovingly to her "friend," Janet, as Janet and David talk of their plans in the next room. Director Machaty, who was responsible for Hedy Lamarr's Ecstasy, does his best to add some stylish camera angles and the like to the low-budget production. The story was by Dalton Trumbo. Machaty also directed Within the Law, but much of his directorial work in the U.S. went uncredited.

Verdict: Interesting entry from Republic pictures. ***.

CALL ME BY YOUR NAME

Armie Hammer

CALL ME BY YOUR NAME (2017). Director: Luca Gaudagnino.

In 1983 Italy, 17-year-old Elio (Timothee Chalamet) lives with his parents in a small village. His father (Michael Stuhlbarg) is a professor of archeology, and each summer a graduate student spends time with the family and assists him. This summer it's 24-year-old Oliver (Armie Hammer of The Man from U.N.C.L.E.), who on the surface at least seems sunny and confident. Elio has a sometime girlfriend, but while initially standoffish to Oliver, he eventually seems to focus much more on him than the girl. Elio and Oliver eventually begin a romantic and sexual relationship, but (alleged) true love doesn't always run smoothly. Coll Me By Your Name is based on the novel by Andre Aciman, a middle-aged family man who thinks there's no such thing as "gay, straight or bi" and is possibly not the best person to write a supposed gay love story. The film version is similarly confused when it isn't being tedious. Chalamet, who was actually 20 during filming and could pass for fifteen, gives a very good performance (he is especially good at the very end, when a long take focused just on his face shows the conflicting emotions Elio feels -- from heartbreak to anger to wry understanding of sorts) but Hammer is more problematic. At 31 he is too old and too tall and his very awkward and unconvincing love scenes with the boyish Chalamet are less erotic than they are discomfiting. (While not effeminate, Hammer does seem to play the role at times like a borderline languid queen as if he thought that's how he should play a gay guy.) Others have noted that Oliver is not a child molester -- that Elio is of legal age in Italy -- but the sex scenes still look like ads for NAMBLA. (We do have to remember, however, the innumerable movies that have had adult men involved with 16 or 17-year-old girls without anyone raising an eyebrow.) Others have also noted that Call Me By Your Name comes off less as a love story between equals as it does the story of an older man who gets off on a boy's adoration of him and pretty much takes advantage of it, especially when one considers what he does at the finale. A bigger problem is that Elio and Oliver are simply not that interesting. Perhaps the best scene in the movie is when father and son have a very frank talk without ever quite coming "out" with what they're talking about (pun intended), but which they manage to get across in spite of it. Still, one might wonder if the sequence is really that believable. Call Me By Your Name also has a dated quality, as if it came out in the seventies instead of 2017, and there have certainly been many -- too many -- tales of boys who fall for older men only to have the older guy go off and get married. While I've no doubt many conservatives will see this film as a Gay Lib movie -- not to mention prettified Chickenhawk crap -- the fact is that Call Me By Your Name is not as gay-friendly -- nor as gay --as it may seem, in some ways suggesting (intended or not) that homosexuality is just a phase. Another "minimalist" movie that has no really great or memorable dramatic sequences. 

Verdict: If it doesn't put you to sleep you may find some of it interesting, but otherwise, this is a MAJOR disappointment. **. 

EASTER SABBATICAL

Behemoth, the giant bunny rabbit

HAPPY BELATED EASTER from Great Old Movies. 

We're taking a week off to catch up, but please enjoy the old April Fool's movies that I re-posted on Sunday. What's that? -- you say you thought these movies were real, and have already ordered your copy of She-Serpents vs the Forces of the Dragon Witch from Amazon. Wait a minute -- does this serial actually exist? Excuse me while I go check this out!

See you next week!

PUKEY REPEATS

PUKEY REPEATS (1946). Director: Federico Fellini.

Although the studio deemed the June Allyson comedy Pukey to be unreleasable, famed Italian director Federico Fellini caught a special screening of it during a trip to Hollywood and was -- bizarrely enough -- totally enchanted. He contacted Allyson and arranged to make another Pukey film which can be considered a sequel or a remake or both. In this the cookie-tossing singer Pukey (Allyson) decides to take up opera, with completely unamusing results. Although she can't even sing normally, she somehow manages to acquire a contract with La scala in Milan, where much of this was filmed. Keefe Braselle, who appeared in the first film, absolutely refused to be associated with the second, so he was replaced by Broderick Crawford, who makes a highly unlikely love interest for Allyson. You have to hear Allyson attempting to croak out "Nessum Dorma" from Puccini's Turandot to believe it! Fellini filled the film with his usual interesting and exotic faces, but the script -- based, believe it or not, on a play by Italian artist and WW 1 hero Gabrielle D'Annunzio -- is just abysmal.

Verdict: Dreadful! *.

LIBERACE VS. LEATHERFACE

LIBERACE VS. LEATHERFACE (1981). Director: Toby Hooperman.

Fans of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre are probably unaware that this incredible film, never released, was actually the first sequel to the famous horror film. Liberace did the film as a lark, and good-naturedly spoofs his flamboyant, very stereotypically gay image. In the movie Leatherface and his family are driving to Atlantic City to meet relatives -- killing and eating people along the way -- when their car breaks down. They wind up at an old mansion wherein they find Liberace, greeting them at the door in all his finery and holding the all-important candelabra. Leatherface and his pals have no idea what to make of the star, while Liberace seems completely unfazed by the weird assortment of cannibals he finds on his door. He even attempts a makeover on Leatherface, and calls in Phyllis Diller to do everyone's hair. It all ends in a riotous free-for-all between police and the freaks, with Liberace wondering why the cops should be so brutal to "such nice friendly people."

Verdict: Well, it's certainly different. **1/2.

SHE-SERPENTS VS THE FORCES OF THE DRAGON WITCH

SHE-SERPENTS VS THE FORCES OF THE DRAGON WITCH 12 chapter Mascot serial. (1938). Director: Bebe Ford.

It is not widely known that during her early career Bette Davis actually starred in a serial for Mascot studios. She plays Mona Flare, the leader of an all-girl gang of crime-fighters who are out to stop the violent antics of a mysterious woman known only as the Dragon Witch. Mona and her "she-serpents" wear slinky outfits that make them resemble slithering snakes. The nominal hero of the film is Bob Steele, who plays a detective, Guinan, who wishes the ladies would lay off and let him handle the Dragon Witch and her sinister forces. Of course Guinan has to be rescued by the women in virtually every chapter. Davis seems to be having a lot of fun, and there are clever stunts and some exciting sequences. The final chapter has a major fight between Mona and the Dragon Witch in which even the walls come tumbling down. Miriam Hopkins also appears as an aggressive reporter who may or may not know more about the Dragon Queen than she's saying.

Verdict: Bette rules the roost! **1/2.

HATCHET (1966)

HATCHET (1966). Director: William Castle.

This was Castle and Joan Crawford's unreleased follow-up to Strait-Jacket. That film made so much money that Castle immediately made plans for Crawford to do a sequel, but Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte and Crawford's alleged illness got in the way. By the time Crawford got around to doing the film, there was a brand new script and she was a new character named -- ironically -- Mrs. Vorhees (although spelled with one "o.") Jackie Vorhees owns cabins for rent in Maine. Who should show up one day but the man who jilted her years ago and the woman he married. The two are killed in a gruesome sequence, but their bodies disappear. Eventually there are more murders-by-hatchet and Jackie is the prime -- although certainly not the only -- suspect. Gloria Blondell isn't bad as the manager of the cabins, who has some odd secrets of her own. Cameron Mitchell is a horny handyman, and Christine Jorgenson has a great guest appearance as a traveling saleslady. Gregor Tanese is fine as an overly ambitious reporter. The film was never completed, however, because Joan walked off the set, although the ending was shot and a DVD is expected to surface in early 2019.

Verdict: Compelling hatchet job with a zesty Joan. ***.

CATCH THAT BLONDE!

CATCH THAT BLONDE! (1961). Director: Arthur Lubin.

One of the rarest, least-seen movies ever made, Catch That Blonde! presents the teaming of Marilyn Monroe with the Three Stooges. Initially Monroe was only supposed to do a walk-on, but she had such fun with the stooges that her part was quickly expanded and she agreed to do three more day's work. The Stooges play private eyes who are hired by a jealous husband to find his wandering wife. Originally Marie Windsor had been hired to play the part in a blond wig but when La Monroe decided to stick around Windsor was quickly paid off and dismissed, although she returned to the set a week or so later to play a supporting role and film a zesty cat fight with Monroe. Catch That Blonde! was quickly pulled out of release after Monroe's untimely death, and has never been re-released or put on DVD or VHS. There have been private screenings of the film and grainy bootlegs have circulated for decades. It's too bad more people haven't seen it as both Monroe and the Stooges are in top, funny form and the picture is mostly a scream.

Verdict: Strange bedfellows and all that. ***.

MARJORIE MORNINGSTAR

Natalie Wood and Gene Kelly

MARJORIE MORNINGSTAR (1958). Director: Irving Rapper.

Marjorie Morgenstern (Natalie Wood) takes a job at a summer resort and falls in love with the theater director, Noel Airman (Gene Kelly). At first Noel, who hides his Jewish roots, tries to convince himself that Marjorie is just another "Shirley," a typical Jewish American Princess, and her middle-class desires would never fit in with his plans. Still, over the years the two can't pull themselves away from each other, and their on-again/off-again relationship is beset with problems. Herman Wouk's novel has been reduced to an entertaining, slick soap opera that has some very good performances. Wood gets high marks as Marjorie, really giving a first-rate and honest portrayal of a tormented young lady. Gene Kelly just can't seem to get that far away from Gene Kelly, and his anguish over his failings both as an artist and a man just don't ring true -- he's too much of a winner for it to work. It's a perfectly good "Hollywood" performance but nothing more. As Marjorie's parents, Everett Sloane [The Big Knife] and especially Claire Trevor [The Velvet Touch] are more on the money, and Ed Wynn [Son of Flubber] makes his mark as Marjorie's beloved Uncle Samson. Carolyn Jones as Marjorie's best friend has a terrific scene when she nearly has a meltdown just before her wedding (as she's marrying Jesse White one can completely understand!). There are also good, if brief, performances from Martin Balsam as a doctor who falls for Marjorie; Edd Byrnes (billed as Edward Byrnes) as Marjorie's first boyfriend, Sandy; Martin Milner, as a playwright who carries a torch for Marjorie for years; Ruta Lee as a gal pal of Noel's; and others. Max Steiner has contributed a pleasant romantic score which helps a bit in putting this over.

Verdict: At least Wood and Kelly have definite chemistry! **1/2.

APPOINTMENT WITH DEATH

Carrie Fisher and Nicholas Guest

APPOINTMENT WITH DEATH (1988). Producer/director: Michael Winner

In 1937 Emily Boynton (Piper Laurie), a former prison wardress, rules over her family after her husband's death with an iron fist. The American family consists of two attractive stepdaughters, Carol (Valerie Richards) and Ginevra (Amber Bezer), and two strikingly good-looking stepsons, Raymond (John Terlesky), who is single, and Lennox (Nicholas Guest), who is married to Nadine (Carrie Fisher). Vacationing in the Holy Land with the rest of his family, Raymond finds himself attracted to Dr. Sarah King (Jenny Seagrove), who is appalled by the domineering behavior of his stepmother. Then there's a murder, and Hercule Poirot (Peter Ustinov) is conveniently on the scene to  ferret out the killer  ... Appointment with Death is a mediocre adaptation of one of Agatha Christie's best murder mysteries, though the film does boast some interesting settings and decent performances. Piper Laurie [Dario Argento's Trauma] is probably the cast standout, and we've also got Lauren Bacall in a superficial turn as Lady Westholme; Sir John Gielgud wasted as an elderly colonel; Michael Craig barely putting in an appearance as Lord Peel; Hayley Mills [The Family Way] fine as a traveling companion of Lady Westholme's; and David Soul [The Disappearance of Flight 412] effective enough as Jefferson Cope, the family lawyer with a shady past. More or less faithful to the novel, the screenwriters invent some stuff but director Winner fails to give the film very much suspense. Ustinov's performance is too fussy by far.

Verdict: Okay, but stick with the book if you love Christie. **1/2.

MY WAY: AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY PAUL ANKA

MY WAY: AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY. Paul Anka with David Dalton. St. Martin's Press; 2013.

Seeing Anka in some low-budget films early in his career, I remembered how my sister had been a big fan of his, and recalled some of his early hits which he both wrote and performed ("Diana;" "Put Your Head On My Shoulder;" "Puppy Love"). My curiosity sparked, I decided to give Anka's memoir a try. Although he's hardly the most riveting figure, there was enough interesting material about the music industry back in the day, and how it's changed, to keep me reading -- at least at first. Aggressive and talented, the 15-year-old Canadian Lebanese teen successfully promoted himself into a career in New York and elsewhere. Anka writes how the "British Invasion" of the Beatles and others wiped out most of the other teen idols of the period, and Anka had to reinvent himself as a Las Vegas club act and write songs for singers other than himself (Sinatra's "My Way" is the most famous, although Anka only contributed lyrics to a French melody). The early sections of the book, in which Anka tells of interacting with performers he spent a lot of time with while on the road in buses and hotels, are more interesting than the rehashed stuff of the later chapters, in which Anka tries to make himself a mini-member of the Rat Pack. Frankly, the stories about Sinatra and the gang and all the mobsters simply seem recycled from other books. If we're to believe Anka, every famous person he encountered became a close friend. The most jaw-dropping moment occurs when Anka writes of ending his 38-year marriage to his first wife because "getting divorced from Anne was just something I had to do for myself." Huh! Quite a few pages later Anka writes how in his sixties he got involved with a much younger personal trainer whom he married and who apparently took him to the cleaners. While I wouldn't exactly call the book a "tell-all," there is some material about Sammy Davis Jr..'s  bisexuality (already mentioned in more than one previous book) and an anecdote about Angie Dickinson giving her husband Burt Bacharach a blow job while she was driving in their car, something Dickinson probably didn't need to see in print. Lest you think this makes My Way a fascinating read, be advised that for much of its length the book is just tedious name-dropping. The material is so badly organized, jumping around in time and back and forth from subject to subject (such as Sinatra), that it's as if the co-author just took Anka's stream of consciousness ramblings and absolutely made no attempt to make them coherent. Things are repeated -- and even contradicted -- throughout the book. Despite this, the book received some startlingly good reviews, such as an embarrassing one from the Huffington Post. Anka clearly did not know Donald Trump would become president, or he would have played him up even more in the book.

Verdict: Some people should not write their life stories. **.

WORLD IN MY CORNER

Audie Murphy and Jeff Morrow

WORLD IN MY CORNER (1956). Director: Jesse Hibbs.

Tommy Shea (Audie Murphy of Bad Boy) is a hot-tempered guy from the wrong side of the tracks who has a chip on his shoulder and a desire to make good. He goes to work for wealthy Robert Mallinson (Jeff Morrow) and trains for the ring with Mallinson's employee, Dave Bernstein (John McIntire). Tommy has a couple of fights, but his friend, Ray (Tommy Rall), gets him involved with crooked fight promoter Harry Cram (Howard St. John of Strait-Jacket);Tommy refuses to take a dive, however. Meanwhile he and Mallinson's daughter, Dorothy (Barbara Rush of Flight to Hong Kong), are falling in love. Dorothy hates the fight game as much as she hates her father, but she is still rooting for her boyfriend during the climactic bout. World in My Corner makes use of the familiar boxing cliches, but it has an interesting script, some well-written dialogue (by Jack Sher), fairly exciting fight scenes, and some very good acting. Audie Murphy had just starred in the film version of his autobiography, To Hell and Back, which was also directed by Jesse Hibbs, and he is more than competent in this picture, and very charming, with an easy, casual manner, a good way with a line, and a convincingly "bitter" persona. Rush is wonderful in the movie, as is Morrow. McIntire, St. John and a highly personable Tommy Rall also have their moments.Tragically, after all he went through during the war, Murphy died in a plane crash before his 46th birthday.

Verdict: Creditable if minor boxing saga with interesting aspects and a very likable Murphy. ***.

JOHN STANLEY'S CREATURE FEATURES MOVIE GUIDE STRIKES AGAIN

JOHN STANLEY'S CREATURE FEATURES MOVIE GUIDE STRIKES AGAIN. John Stanley. Creatures at Large Press; 1994.

This book presents capsule reviews of horror/sci fi/fantasy and related films written by former horror host Stanley over many years and collected into one volume. The reviews show a discrepancy of style, with some being geared to frat boys with their emphasis on boobs and very bad puns, and others offering some cogent, if hardly in-depth (given their brevity) criticism. His write-up on The Sentinel is on-target, but his review of Terror out of the Sky, a killer bee movie, notes that the telefilm is (groan) “bees-ily directed by Lee H. Katzin.” Stanley seems to be the only person who actually liked the dreadful Captain America feature with Matt Salinger, saying it “captures the flavor of the original” (not the movie I saw!) and the Cesar Romero starrer The Jungle, which he deems a “terrific adventure” and actually seems to think was filmed in India! He thinks the awful, almost campy remake of Lord of the Flies is superior to Peter Brook's devastating original and credits screenwriter Richard Maibaum for the love affair between Bond and Tracey in On Her Majesty's Secret Service when it was a basic part of Ian Fleming's original novel. By far the most hilarious gaffe is when he credits Leonard Bernstein (!!!) with the score for Bill Cosby's unfunny stinker (aside from those frogs that “hop” a car out of a parking lot) Leonard Part Six instead of Elmer Bernstein. And any book that receives a testimonial from the moronic “Joe Bob Briggs” can't be all good. On the other hand, Stanley has dug up some interesting forgotten movies, including some even I had never heard of, and the book is fun in its limited way. For a book supposedly about “Creature Features,” however, Stanley seems to have little love in his heart for many beloved old monster movies.

Verdict: Everyone's entitled to their opinion. **1/2. 

THOR: RAGNAROK

Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston

THOR: RAGNAROK (2017). Director: Taika Waititi.

"Asgard is not a place -- it's a people."

Thor (Chris Hemsworth) manages to defeat the fire demon, Surtur and his impressive dragon, but then learns that he has to take on his sister, Hela (Cate Blanchett), who happens to be the Goddess of Death! (In the early Thor comic books Thor and Hela were not related). But while Hela is wreaking havoc on Asgard, Thor is imprisoned on a strange planet ruled by a weird character named the Grandmaster (Jeff Goldblum), who pits Thor against his special champion in an arena -- the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo)! Will Thor be able to convince his fellow Avenger, as well as his untrustworthy brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and a fierce Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) to escape the Grandmaster and rescue Asgard from Hela? What do you think? Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy was a huge and unexpected hit, and it was played mostly for laughs, so it was decided to try the flippant, almost campy approach with this latest installment of the Thor series (following Thor and Thor: Dark World). As much as I may lament this approach in most instances, the fact remains that Thor: Ragnarok is better and much more entertaining than the previous Thor films. Although the characters perhaps dally too long on the Grandmaster's planet, the film is fast-paced, colorful, full of some amazing FX (including a gargantuan canine) and well-done action scenes, and features some amusing and lively performances. Hemsworth and Hiddleston make good, somewhat friendly brothers and adversaries, Goldblum is fine as a campy version of an old Marvel cosmic character; and Blanchett [Blue Jasmine] basically steals the movie with her stylish and impressive turn as the dark goddess Hela. There is also nice work from Anthony Hopkins as Odin; Benedict Cumberbatch as Dr. Strange; Karl Urban as Skurge; and Idris Elba as Heimdall. The art direction is striking, as is Javier Aguirresarobe's cinematography; and Mark Mothersbaugh's music is effectively "grandiose" when required. NOTE: To read about the comic book adventures of Thor see The Silver Age of Comics.

Verdict; Too silly and flip perhaps but undeniably well-made, good to look at, and exciting. ***.

ONE TOUCH OF VENUS

Sleeping Beauty: Ava Gardner

ONE TOUCH OF VENUS (1948). Director: William A. Seiter.

"Debussy. Debussy does something to women." -- Mr. Savory.

"Personally, I go for Buzzy Balou and his Musical Crew." -- Molly.

Eddie Hatch (Robert Walker of My Son John) is a window dresser for Savory's department store. Mr. Savory (Tom Conway) has just acquired a $200,000 statue of Venus which he wishes to unveil and he instructs Eddie to make sure the curtain rises perfectly at the right moment. Eddie impulsively kisses the statue, and the next thing he knows it has come to life. Venus (Ava Gardner), Goddess of Love visiting from Olympus, is charmed by Eddie, and he is smitten with her, although he already has a girlfriend in clerk Gloria (Olga San Juan). Eddie's buddy, Joe (Dick Haymes of St. Benny the Dip) has a secret crush on Gloria, as secretary Molly (Eve Arden) does on her boss, Mr. Savory. Spotting her asleep in a model home on the first floor of the store, Savory determines to drape this goddess in gowns and make her his own. Will all of these lovers get together with the right person, and will Eddie have to go to jail for stealing a very expensive statue? One Touch of Venus, adapted from the Broadway show that starred Mary Martin, takes a while to get its footing (a third of the movie has gone by before anyone sings a song, for one thing), but it develops into a charming and well-performed musical comedy. Gardner [The Night of the Iguana] makes a luscious Venus, and is good in the role, although her singing is dubbed. The other performers are all on the money -- Sara Allgood has a nice turn as an anxious landlady --  and Eve Arden adds just that extra special sparkle that the proceedings require. The movie drops about half of the songs (Kurt Weill and Ogden Nash) -- some are heard in the background -- but retains "Speak Low;" "That's Him;" and "My Foolish Heart." Olga San Juan was in the original Broadway cast of Lerner and Loewe's Paint Your Wagon.

Verdict: Romantic tomfoolery perhaps, but it certainly has its delights. ***.

BLANCHETT NOT BLANCHETTE

Cate Blanchett with no "e" at the end

Okay, this poor lady won an Oscar and people are still spelling her name wrong.

Okay. I'm spelling her name wrong.

300 lashes with a wet noodle for consistently adding an "e" to the end of talented Cate Blanchett's name.

I have gone back and corrected the three or four reviews on this blog of movies she appeared in. I did get the spelling right with her appearance in Thor: Ragnarok (review to be posted next week).

Feel free to let me know when and if I make a mistake. Thank you! 

P.S. At least I didn't spell her name "Kate."

Famous actors whose names have been misspelled -- though not by me -- include Margaret Sullavan (often misspelled as "Sullivan with an "i") and Katharine Hepburn (occasionally misspelled as Katherine with an "e'").

Let's not even get into today's actors have have very weird names with unbelievable spellings!

HE'S GOT RHYTHM: THE LIFE AND CAREER OF GENE KELLY

HE'S GOT RHYTHM: THE LIFE AND CAREER OF GENE KELLY. Cynthia Brideson and Sara Brideson. University Press of Kentucky; 2017.

He's Got Rhythm explores the life and work of Gene Kelly, who could act, sing, choreograph, and direct, but always considered himself primarily a dancer. And boy could be dance! This lengthy and fairly exhaustive bio looks at his often contradictory nature; his perfectionism, which occasionally put him at odds with co-workers and frequent collaborators, such as Stanley Donen [Royal Wedding]; his three marriages, to actress Betsy Blair [A Delicate Balance] and others; his friendly "rivalry" with Fred Astaire [Carefree]; and his persistent championing of dance throughout his long life. His marriage to Blair ended in divorce when she fell in love with another man; his second wife, who had formerly worked for him, died of leukemia; and his third wife, who was working with him on his autobiography, was a much younger woman who took over his life and, according to the book, separated him from his close friends and family even as he lay dying. The authors examine every project that Kelly was involved or nearly involved in, including his star turn as Joey in the original Broadway production of Pal Joey; his plans to star in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, a movie that was ultimately canceled; his turn behind the camera with Hello Dolly and other movies; his TV specials that celebrated the dance; and his appearances in such classics as Singing in the Rain and On the Town. Kelly's low-budget dramatic films such as The Devil Makes Three, are mentioned only in passing in comparison. But this book is an excellent tribute to Kelly, which makes a strong case for his art and his enduring popularity.

Verdict: First-class bio. ***1/2.

PERRY MASON: THE CASE OF THE NOTORIOUS NUN

Michele Greene and William Katt

PERRY MASON: THE CASE OF THE NOTORIOUS NUN (1986). Director: Ron Satlof.

In a story line you probably wouldn't have seen back in the fifties and sixties, Sister Margaret (Michele Greene) is not only suspected of having an affair with Father O'Neal (Timothy Bottoms) but of murdering him! Perry Mason (Raymond Burr) goes undercover at a hospital, pretending to be sick, because O'Neal was investigating possible financial improprieties in the archdiocese, including at St. Martin's hospital. A bogus priest has actually murdered O'Neal, but as in Perry Mason Returns Perry has to ferret out who hired him. Suspects include Dr. Lattimore (Jon Cypher of Cinderella ); his associate and paramour, Ellen Cartwright (Barbara Parkins of Asylum); shifty-eyed Monsignor Kyser (Gerald S. O'Loughlin); and businessmen Jonathan Eastman (Edward Winter) and Thomas Shea (Steven Hill); among others. Barbara Hale returns as Della Street and William Katt as Paul Drake Jr. This is an average "episode" of Perry Mason, below the level of the TV series, but it does boast an excellent performance from Michele Greene as the embattled nun.

Verdict: Fun to watch Perry accuse a Monsignor of wrong-doing! **1/2.

THE FANTASTIC FOUR/ DOOMED: THE UNTOLD STORY

The Thing

THE FANTASTIC FOUR (1994). Director: Oley Sassone.
DOOMED: THE UNTOLD STORY OF ROGER CORMAN'S THE FANTASTIC FOUR (2015). Director: Marty Langford.

Roger Corman co-produced the first film adaptation of Marvel's Fantastic Four comic book, but whether it was never meant to see the light of day, or if Corman and others were paid off so that this low-budget treatment wouldn't interfere with a big-budget version from Fox (with Marvel in control, which it wasn't with this production), or both, is debatable. Doomed! is a documentary in which various actors and other participants in the production discuss making the film, as well as the disappointment and betrayal they felt when they learned after all their efforts that the film would never be released. Told by Roger Corman that he had received a check for a couple of million dollars, probably not to release the picture, Alex Hyde White (who played Reed Richards and is the son of Wilfrid Hyde-White) remarks in Doomed! that "Everyone did well except us, the people that made the movie." Two brothers even spent their own money putting together an orchestra to play their ambitious score for The Fantastic Four. Apparently, wisely or not, nearly everyone involved with the film was convinced that the movie would be a big, big break for their careers. Unfortunately, that was not the case. This was a Roger Corman film, and the cost of the production was only a million dollars. Hardly enough to make a super-hero blockbuster. Doomed! is an entertaining, well-done documentary bolstered by interviews from personable actors such as Hyde-White and Joseph Culp (who played Dr. Doom and is the son of Robert Culp) and several crew members and creative types.

As for the film itself, it has surfaced in bootleg tapes and is on youtube. The Fantastic Four is not terrible by any means, but it can't compare to the version that eventually emerged ten years later: Fantastic Four. The acting is a mix of solid and professional (Hyde-White, Rebecca Staab as Sue Storm) and the uneven and amateurish (like a high school play) , and one mistake was to include a silly (if well-acted) character named the Jeweler (Ian Trigger) who is sort of an annoying substitute for old FF foe, the Moleman. The FX are uneven, but there is a nifty enough climax with the Human Torch trying to outrun a devastating light beam in order to save New York City. There are confusing elements in the script, and instead of our heroes gaining powers due to cosmic rays, there's something about a space project called "Colossus" that never makes that much sense. There are also odd moments, such as when after the foursome's spaceship crashes on earth, the boys seem to take forever to wonder where Sue is. Joseph Culp's performance as Dr. Doom is problematic -- he has a great voice, but he over-gesticulates and often speaks over-portentously as if he were playing a character in a cartoon. Perhaps the best thing about the movie is an excellent score by David and Eric Wurst with its attractive theme music. Virtually all of the actors in the film went on to have many more credits.

Meanwhile, the big-budget Fantastic Four had a sequel entitled Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer, and the series was unsuccessfully rebooted with Fantastic Four in 2015.

Verdict: Doomed! ***.
              The Fantastic Four. **1/2.

MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS (2017)

Kenneth Branagh as Hercule Poirot

MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS (2017).

Traveling on the Orient Express in 1934, famous detective Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branagh) learns that a man has been murdered and is asked to investigate by his old friend Bouc (Tom Bateman), a representative of the train line. As Poirot interviews the other passengers, he slowly discovers that many of them had some connection to the victim, a man named Rachet, who was really the notorious kidnapper, Casetti (Johnny Depp). As Poirot discovers the many secrets of the numerous suspects, he finds himself with a moral dilemma. I was a bit taken aback when I first heard of this film, but I must say that I was pleasantly surprised when I finally saw it. Although he may not be quite as convincing as David Suchet or Albert Finney in the first version, Branagh is much better as the Belgian detective than anticipated. Unlike Christie's creation -- and for better or worse -- Branagh makes a more "virile" Poirot, and has him mooning over the photograph of a lost love as if to prove his heterosexuality (Poirot was never gay in any case). The movie is also superior to the 1974 version, with better performances from the supporting cast and a more serious tone. Michael Green's screenplay intelligently "opens up" the film in small ways, and the plot doesn't seem quite so far-fetched. Depp is excellent as the racketeer, and there are also notable turns from Michelle Pfieffer as Mrs. Hubbard (she is much better than Lauren Bacall in the original); Derek Jacobi as a nervous manservant; Willem Dafoe as a Pinkerton detective; and Judi Dench as the formidable Princess Dragomiroff. Of the younger players, Josh Gad makes an impression as McQueen, the dead man's secretary, as do Daisy Ridley [Star Wars Part VII] as Mary Debenham and Leslie Odom Jr. as Dr. Arbuthnot. Arbuthnot was not a black character in Christie's novel -- this film is generally faithful to it -- but that does not present a problem, except that at one point the positively drawn character seems to become quite negative. Patrick Doyle's [Thor] score lacks the suspense and tension that a mystery requires, but in the final quarter it does add some depth and somberness to the proceedings. "Never Forget," which we hear over the closing credits, is a pretty song that is very nicely warbled by Michell Pfeiffer, who proved she could sing long ago in Grease 2.

Agatha Christie was still alive when the first version of this story came out. While she admired Finney, she did not admire his mustache, which was nowhere near as "magnificent" (at least in Poirot's opinion)  as it was supposed to be. Love it or hate it, Branagh's mustache would probably have pleased Christie. This movie was absolutely hated by many people -- who thought they fiddled unnecessarily with a "masterpiece" -- but as much as I love Christie's work, I don't consider the novel to be a "masterpiece" nor the first film version, either.

Verdict: Unevenly directed perhaps, but still the best version of this venerable old story. Makes me look forward to Branagh's version of Death on the Nile. ***.

LES GIRLS

Elg, Kendall and Gaynor

LES GIRLS (1957). Director: George Cukor.

Retired dancer Lady Sybil (Kay Kendall of Wings of Danger) has written a book about her life in which she claims that a former colleague, Angele (Taina Elg), attempted suicide out of her unrequited love for their boss, Barry Nichols (Gene Kelly). Angele is outraged -- and so is her husband, Pierre (Jacques Bergerac of The Hypnotic Eye) -- so a libel suit results. Most of Les Girls consists of flashbacks

"Wild One" Kelly and his Leather Boys

as Sybil tells her story, then Angele tells hers, and finally Barry comes into court to tell his side of things. Les Girls has an interesting hook with the libel suit, but the script becomes increasingly stupid with each section, and even Cole Porter's songs are second or third-rate for this composer. The film's highlight is a sequence when Kelly walks in with a gang of motorcycle toughs and does a splendid dance number with Mitzi Gaynor [The Joker is Wild], but most of the production numbers are disappointing. Kelly and the ladies are all excellent, however. Henry Daniell plays the judge presiding over the case and Patrick Macnee [The Avengers] is one of the lawyers; Leslie Phillips is Kendall's husband. In CinemaScope and Metrocolor. This was Porter's last film score, and Kelly's last MGM musical. 

Verdict: Cute but unremarkable. **1/2. 

MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS

Albert Finney as Hercule Poirot

MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS (1974). Director: Sidney Lumet.

Famous Belgian detective Hercule Poirot (Albert Finney of Tom Jones) takes over the investigation after a man using an assumed name is murdered, and there turns out to be a whole train load of suspects. In her novel, Agatha Christie's starting off point was the murder of the Lindbergh baby, and the victim was involved in the kidnapping of the child, herein named Daisy Armstrong. In both book and movie Poirot perhaps doesn't exhibit quite as much incredulity as he might have when he learns at least two people on the train just happen to have had ties to the victim (as well as others whose deaths were a direct result of little Daisy's murder). And then things get even stranger, but there's a method to Christie's madness ... This was the first of the big-budget, all-star adaptations of the works of Christie, and it's entertaining if unspectacular. Oscar winner for Best Actor, Finney is nothing like Poirot, but if this is a "stunt" performance, I must say it's an excellent one, although he isn't as good as David Suchet, who later made the role his own. Wendy Hiller gives a positively weird, and one assumes, intentionally comic performance as the aged Princess Dragomiroff. Ingrid Bergman is fine but her very small role hardly deserved the supporting Oscar she received. Similarly, Sir John Gielgud is wonderful, but he's on-screen for only a few minutes; he won a BAFTA award. (Surely Oscars should be reserved for actors who are very much outside their comfort zone, which Finney definitely was). In a terrible performance, Anthony Perkins literally twitches all over the place as the secretary to the dead man; Sean Connery has one strong scene explaining himself to Poirot; Rachel Roberts scores as the princess' maid; Richard Widmark is fine as the victim; Vanessa Redgrave [Camelot] is perfect and lovely as Connery's paramour; and Martin Balsam is a delight as a representative of the train line and a personal friend of Poirot's. Richard Rodney Bennett provided the pastiche Porter score, which lacks the suspense this type of picture requires. Many of the cast members, especially Lauren Bacall as the loud American lady, seem self-conscious.

In addition to the 2017 remake, there have been other adaptations of the famous story. Alfred Molina played Poirot in a 2001 television version. David Suchet again essayed Poirot in a 2010 TV movie  which added a prologue, with an adulteress being stoned to death, that was not in the novel, and an epilogue wherein Poirot expresses moral outrage over the murder on the train which he does not express in the book; later he softens his attitude due to the murder of that woman at the opening. Suchet is especially excellent in this and it's amusing to see Hugh Bonneville of Downton Abbey playing a mere valet. Finally, a Japanese mini-series based on the novel appeared in 2015.

Verdict: Take this train ride or not -- it's up to you. **1/2.

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