QUEEN BEE

Joan as Eva Phillips

QUEEN BEE (1955). Written and directed by Ranald MacDougall. Colorized version.      

"Really that Dr. Pearson is absurd. He actually trembles when he talks to me. You'd think he'd never seen a beautiful woman before." -- Eva. 

Although dating Jud Prentiss (John Ireland of The Ceremony), the Yankee Eva (Joan Crawford) sets her cap for Jud's boss, Avery Phillips (Barry Sullivan of Pyro), a wealthy Southern gentleman, and follows him home. Eva lies and tells Avery that she's pregnant, and the "gentleman" literally leaves his fiancee, Sue (Fay Wray), at the church door to run off with Eva. Years later the two are trapped in a miserable, dysfunctional marriage with Avery spending most of his time in his bedroom getting drunk. Ironically, Avery is nicknamed "Beauty" but now has a large scar on his face due to a drunken driving accident. Meanwhile the aforementioned Jud has fallen for Avery's sister, Carol (Betsy Palmer), who positively loathes Eva. Into this miasma of Southern rage and scandal comes Eva's sweet cousin, Jennifer (Lucy Marlow of He Laughed Last), who is moving into the mansion completely unaware of the goings-on. When Eva, who never lets go of a man, finds out that Jud and Carol are engaged, things in the household will get even tenser, if such is possible ... 

Mrs. Vorhees meets Lucy Harbin

Queen Bee is certainly not a perfect movie, but it is a strangely compelling melodrama with a lot going on in the background. Joan Crawford dominates the picture, of course, as she should, and gives a highly effective performance as a rather nasty character who admits what she is but still can't help making excuses for her behavior. If you don't quite believe her when she's showing vulnerability, it's because you can't quite imagine Eva ever being vulnerable in any real sense, although she is not above playing on people's sympathies. 

Cocktails and savagery at the Phillips

As for the rest of the cast, Betsy Palmer stands out as Carol, standing up to Eva/Joan on occasion even as you realize she is just no match for her strong-willed, highly neurotic sister-in-law. Lucy Marlow, with her odd square face, has a couple of unconvincing moments but is basically solid as the ultimately disillusioned Jennifer. (You're not quite certain how or why she falls for the dissolute Avery, and any actress might have a hard time making that convincing.) Fay Wray has one scene as Sue, the jilted fiancee, who seems to have lost herself in never-got-over-it vagueness. Wray is good, but it's hard to imagine that she would ever want anything to do with this couple, let alone have cocktails with them in their drawing room. 

Barry Sullivan with Crawford

The men don't fare as well. John Ireland and Barry Sullivan give rather stilted, rushed line readings as compared to the ladies. William Leslie makes an impression, however, as the handsome and charming Ty, and Jennifer seems demented in preferring Avery, on the verge of cirrhosis of the liver, over this hunk. Katherine Anderson is suitably hard and unpleasant as the nurse who takes pleasure in being nasty to the little boy (Tim Hovey) who suffers nightmares, until the little guy knows "how [the nightmare] ends" at the violent climax. Hovey is as adorable and adept as ever. (A sobering postscript is that the fellow committed suicide at only 44.) Willa Pearl Curtis, as a maid, has a nice vignette when she expresses sympathy to Jennifer over being dumped and muses about her own romantic missteps. Years later Crawford and Palmer both played deranged murderesses, Crawford in Strait-Jacket (at the opening) and Palmer in Friday the 13th. Handsomely shot by Charles Lang. 

Verdict: Crawford in a compelling portrait of a woman who deservedly hates herself. ***. 

THE CARETAKERS

THE CARETAKERS (1963). Produced and directed by Hall Bartlett.

Lorna Melford (Polly Bergen) has been deteriorating mentally ever since the death of her little boy, and her husband, Jim (Robert Vaughn), has no choice but to put her in the Canterbury state mental hospital. There she is enrolled in a controversial new program called "Borderline," where several patients are isolated from the others and may even have a chance at being outpatients in the future. This program is run by Dr. MacLeod (Robert Stack), and he is violently opposed by head nurse Lucretia Terry (Joan Crawford), who has been with the institute for a long time and thinks his methods are impractical and ridiculous. Frankly, although the film clearly takes the side of McLeod -- I mean, "Lucretia?" --  considering some of the goings-on in the hospital you can certainly see Terry's objections. Lorna actually tries to stab one (admittedly unpleasant) nurse, Bracken (Constance Ford) in the back, and runs off only to wind up in a ward with psychotic males who try to have their way with her (what actually happens is left to the imagination). Still MacLeod and his staff -- Nurse Clark (Susan Oliver), Dr. Denning (Van Williams), and Nurse Horne (Diane McBain) -- are convinced that Lorna and the others can someday lead normal and productive lives. Well ... maybe. 

Butting heads: Stack and Crawford with McBain in back

The Caretakers tries to come off as a compassionate and sincere look at the struggles of the mentally ill, and almost succeeds, although it can't quite resist succumbing to the lurid on more than one occasion. Director Bartlett keeps things moving and the film has several cinematic, briskly-edited sequences, such as when Lorna gets shock treatment. Bergen gives a good performance although she almost goes over the top on more than one occasion. Robert Stack comes off like the grim Elliott Ness in the opening sequences -- who would want him for a doctor? -- but he warms up a bit as the movie proceeds and has an excellent sequence when he talks about his own father's mental illness. Joan Crawford plays with her customary authority and gives a very good latter-day performance, classing up the picture to a certain degree, as does Herbert Marshall in his sympathetic portrayal of Dr. Harrington, the hospital's superintendent. 

Joan oversees her nurses learning judo

Inmates are portrayed by such as Janis Paige  [Please Don't Eat the Daisies], who nearly steals the picture as the prostitute Marion, who covers up her insecurities with cutting remarks. Ellen Corby is the grandmotherly type who tries to be kind to all of the others. Barbara Barrie is Edna, who hasn't spoken for seven years, and nearly sets fire to the ward before miraculously uttering her first word. (This is one person who should definitely not be an outpatient! She and Lorna obviously need a lot more help before they can go home, and Nurse Terry would undoubtedly agree!) Robert Vaughn, that ultra-cool Man from UNCLE, gives a strong performance as a man who is simply unable to cope with his wife's severe mental and emotional problems. Susan Oliver and Van Williams are given a well-played scene together as the former wonders if she's really cut out for her job. Constance Ford ["The Creeper"] is effective as the rather cold Nurse Bracken, who backs up Lucretia Terry in every way she can. 

Constance Ford tussles with Polly Bergen

Crawford and Marshall, those old pros, play extremely well together. At one point Nurse Terry says "Sometimes I look back and I see myself years ago," the line given added poignancy by the fact that both, long-time stars, are playing supporting roles in a picture that may not be worthy of their talents. Elmer Bernstein's score has its attractive aspects, but it is also inappropriately jazzy and "sensational" at times. Cinematographer Lucien Ballard gives the film a crisp look, and there is one sobering moment when the camera pulls way, way back to show exactly how large the ward is and how many poor people are, in a sense, trapped there. 

Verdict: For all its obvious flaws, the picture is absorbing, ***. 

FEUD: BETTE AND JOAN

Susan Sarandon and Jessica Lange

FEUD: BETTE AND JOAN (8- part 2017 mini-series).

"I can't go into rehab -- I've got the Dean Martin roast!" -- Bette Davis. 

Movie legend Joan Crawford (Jessica Lange of American Horror Story: Asylum) goes to see another movie legend, Bette Davis (Susan Sarandon of The Other Side of Midnight), and offers her the title role in a film version of the novel "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" During filming with director Robert Aldrich (Alfred Molina of Prick Up Your Ears), long-simmering resentments and rivalries resurface, and while the two women resolve to have a united front against the twin demons of ageism and sexism, jealousies and insecurities only drive them farther apart. It all culminates when Davis gets an Oscar nod and Crawford doesn't ...

The real Bette Davis and Joan Crawford

Well, this incredibly entertaining and absorbing mini-series could have been a campy and horrible mess, but with intelligent writing and some excellent acting it emerges as a very memorable mini-series. (Feud was not available for viewing while Olivia de Havilland sued the production -- she lost -- but it is now back on Amazon Prime: $11.99 to own all eight Standard Definition episodes.) Let's get one thing out of the way. Feud is highly exaggerated and fictionalized, the actual "feud" between the two ladies being very over-stated to say the least. For much of their lives, Davis and Crawford were busy with careers, children and several bad marriages, and probably didn't think about each other all that much. It was the whole Oscar business -- Davis lost while Crawford accepted the coveted statuette on winner Anne Bancroft's behalf -- that undoubtedly started the "feud," and led to unpleasantness on the set of Baby Jane follow-up Hush ... Hush, Sweet Charlotte.

Now, as to the mini-series itself, once you get past the fabrications and dramatic licenses taken, it manages to go beyond its initial premise and explore the struggles of aging women played out against an industry where an old woman is simply considered a 'hag." The feminist angle is explored but never overwhelms the production, nor does it necessarily excuse the ladies' bad behavior, which could often be chalked up to extreme sensitivity on any number of issues. Of the two lead actresses, Lange comes off the best -- the real Crawford was much better-looking than Lange in her nearly grotesque make up, and had much more authority -- but otherwise Lange proves herself a fine actress and gives a commendable performance. Of the two icons, Davis was imitated much more than Crawford, so Sarandon had a dilemma: how to play a real person without coming off like a drag impersonator. Sarandon succeeds in making Davis seem real, but her performance is also a little dull -- for lack of a better word -- in comparison to Lange's. However, both women are good, although neither of them have the kind of intense power, personality or sheer charisma of the real Crawford and Davis. And when they recreate scenes from Baby Jane? neither are as good as the original stars.

Feud benefits from some superb supporting performances: Alfred Molina as Robert Aldrich; Stanley Tucci as Jack Warner; Alison Wright as Aldrich's assistant Pauline Jameson; Molly Price as Aldrich's wife, Harriet; John Rubinstein as George Cukor; and especially Jackie Hoffman as Crawford's maid and companion, "Mamacita," and a scene-stealing Judy Davis [Life with Judy Garland: Me and My Shadows] as Hedda Hopper. On the other hand, Catherine Zeta-Jones doesn't remind me of Olivia de Havilland at all (although you would think de Havilland would have been flattered that she was played by a much younger and beautiful actress.) And Kathy Bates makes a rather mediocre Joan Blondell. The sections showing them being interviewed about the feud could easily have been jettisoned.

Dominic Burgess seems to think that because his character, actor Victor Buono, was gay that he should play him more as a stereotype than he was in real life. While Buono is a colorful character, it's strange that Feud completely omits Maidie Norman, the black actress who played the murdered maid Elvira in Baby Jane? and who had a very interesting life -- was it because she was a lifelong Republican? Feud is perhaps more sympathetic to Joan than it is to Bette, and suggests that her daughter Christina's hateful memoirs were not entirely accurate, if at all.

It's interesting that the writers for this series must have done research by poring over bios of the two screen idols -- books such as Fasten Your Seat Belts: The Passionate Life of Bette Davis and Joan Crawford: The Essential Biography -- but none are given credit, and that even includes an exaggerated tome entitled Bette and Joan: The Divine Feud!

Verdict: Fascinating, amusing, dramatic, even poignant look at old Hollywood and how stars desperately cling to every inch they've gained while at times losing their humanity in the struggle. ***1/2. 

"BABY JANE" REVISITED

Bette Davis and Joan Crawford

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE? (1962). Director: Robert Aldrich.

"I hope you can be kinder to Jane and your father then they are to you."

Former child star Baby Jane Hudson (Bette Davis, pictured) shares a mansion in Hollywood with her crippled sister, Blanche (Joan Crawford), who was a big movie star in her day. When they begin showing her old movies on television, Jane gets the idea of reviving her own act -- but first she has to keep Blanche from selling the house out from under her, leading to grim events and tragedy.

Joan Crawford and Maidie Norman

While the subject matter with its mental illness and physical abuse is distasteful, Baby Jane is still a mesmerizing film, adroitly directed by Aldrich, well-made, and well-acted by the entire cast. Davis is simply superb as Jane (especially good when she collapses into horrified tears in front of her mirror); Crawford is solid but has the less flamboyant role. Victor Buono and Marjorie Bennett are great as Edwin Flagg and his mother. Maidie Norman and Anna Lee are also fine as, respectively, the Hudson's maid, Elvira, and pleasant neighbor, Mrs. Bates. (Davis' witchy religious nut daughter, B.D. Hyman, is barely acceptable as Lee's teen aged daughter; she had no subsequent career as an actress.) Ernest Anderson, who had an important role in In This Our Life, has a brief scene with Davis near the end of the film when he plays a food vendor at the beach. Baby Jane? is beautifully photographed by Ernest Haller. Write-ups of this film always refer to the "decaying" mansion the Hudson sisters live in, but it doesn't seem to be "decaying" -- like Jane's mind -- at all.

2020 UPDATE: Aldrich could have built up more suspense in certain sequences. Crawford doesn't quite pull out all the stops in her final scene, but then we have to remember she's supposed to be at death's door. A bank teller is played by Maxine Cooper of Kiss Me Deadly. Remade as a TV movie with the Redgrave sisters in 1990.

Verdict: Grotesque -- but it works. ***1/2.

WHEN LADIES MEET (1941)

Greer Garson and Joan Crawford

WHEN LADIES MEET (1941). Director: Robert Z. Leonard.

Successful novelist Mary Howard (Joan Crawford) is having an affair with her married publisher, Rogers Woodruf (Herbert Marshall of Andy Hardy's Blonde Trouble). Exploring this situation in her latest unfinished novel, Mary thinks that her heroine should go and talk things over frankly with her lover's wife. Jimmy Lee (Robert Taylor of The Night Walker), a boyish reporter who is in love with Mary, contrives to put wife and mistress together at a house in the country during a weekend in an effort to pull Mary away from Woodruf. When Mary meets Clare Woodruf (Greer Garson of Random Harvet) the latter is using a phony name as part of Jimmy's ploy, and has no idea who she really is. Neither does Clare realize that Mary is her husband's latest mistress. The two, who like each other very much, talk frankly about men, love, marriage, infidelity and the like until Rogers walks into the room, and the tenor of the conversation changes dramatically. 

Greer Garson and Robert Taylor

When Ladies Meet is a remake of the 1933 version starring Myrna Loy and Ann Harding. This version, although longer and with added sequences that are only mentioned in the original film, is equally entertaining and just as well-acted. One might argue that while Woodruf might get bored with the sweet Ann Harding, the very glamorous and beautiful Garson is a different kettle of fish! Still, Garson gives a good performance, along with Crawford, and as in the original film, the best scene is when the two ladies have a long talk just before bedtime. Taylor is good, but a cut below Robert Montgomery in the original, while Spring Byington as the weekend's hostess, Bridget, while perhaps not as funny as Alice Brady in the '33 version, is as spirited and delightful as ever.

Herbert Marshall and Joan Crawford

One improvement in the remake is the casting of Herbert Marshall as Rogers Woodruf. While Frank Morgan in the original was about as romantic as a dead fish, the more attractive and likable Marshall makes a convincing playmate for Crawford. While Woodruf is still a philandering dog in this version, the script and his emoting make his character much more palatable, and he seems genuinely concerned that he may have hurt Mary. Bridget's French butler, Pierre (Max Willenz) is funnier in this version, while Rafael Storm makes a bit more of an impression as Bridget's architect boyfriend, Walter. Another difference with the remake is that the Woodrufs have no children.

Verdict: A remake that is just as good as the original. ***. 

OLIVIA GOES TO COURT: WHAT A "FEUD!"

Olivia de Havilland is mad as hell over Feud

OLIVIA GOES TO COURT: WHAT A "FEUD!"

If you've wondered why the TV series Feud: Bette and Joan  -- the FX network show about Bette Davis and Joan Crawford during the making of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? -- is not yet on DVD or on Netflix, and why the episodes have been removed from Amazon Instant Video, it's probably because of Olivia de Havilland. You may have heard about how the now 103-year-old actress, living in Paris, feels she was defamed and misrepresented by the program, although I suspect the biggest problem is that they never sought her input and she, therefore, felt left out. Her lawsuits against the program have certainly helped keep her name in the public eye long after Crawford and Davis went to their graves. In any case, the suits were tossed out by the California Court of Appeals and the State Supreme Court, so now she is taking her case to the United States Supreme Court. We'll see. An interesting point is that de Havilland was not even in What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? but she did co-star with Davis in the follow-up, Hush ... Hush, Sweet Charlotte, replacing a "sick" Crawford.

I've only seen the first episode of the series -- and thanks to de Havilland I may not see the rest of it for quite a long while -- but I have to admit that Catherine Zeta-Jones did not remind me in any way, shape or form of Olivia de Havilland. And I can't see de Havilland dissing her sister Joan Fontaine in public, no matter what she thought of her privately. Yet nothing I've heard about what happens in the series actually seems to be "defaming" de Havilland, and the problem with her suit is that she is, after all, a public figure. Still, FX and Ryan Murphy, who produced the series, should have gotten her permission or simply not have depicted de Havilland at all, and I've no doubt they wish they had just left her out of the whole show. People are afraid that this lawsuit could have a chilling effect on cinematic and television portrayals of living people (you can't libel the dead), but filmmakers also have to be responsible and accurate in their depictions. However, one could argue that this is much ado about nothing -- that is, nothing but one aging actress' ego. It should be interesting to see how -- and if -- this case develops.

UPDATE (1/7/2019). The Supreme Court turned down de Havilland's appeal to revive her lawsuit against FX. 

CHARLES WALTERS: THE DIRECTOR WHO MADE HOLLYWOOD DANCE

CHARLES WALTERS: THE DIRECTOR WHO MADE HOLLYWOOD DANCE. Brent Phillips. University Press of Kentucky; 2017.

This excellent biography looks at the life and work of Charles Walters, who started out as a dancer, became a choreographer for both stage and film, and then directed many notable movies at MGM and elsewhere. Walters lived with a male partner, his agent, for many years, was good friends with everyone from Judy Garland to Esther Williams to Lucille Ball (working with the latter on TV specials as well as Du Barry Was a Lady, for which he did the choreography), and by all accounts was a likable and amiable Hollywood presence. The movies Walters directed include Good News, Easy to Love, Summer Stock, Jumbo, Lili, Torch Song with Joan Crawford, High Society, The Glass Slipper, and The Unsinkable Molly Brown, among others. Well-researched and bolstered with interviews, this bio has amusing behind-the-scenes anecdotes a'plenty,and also explores Walters' approach.to "cine-dance" -- dance in the movies. 

Verdict: First-rate look at an unsung Hollywood figure. ***1/2.

HATCHET (1966)

HATCHET (1966). Director: William Castle.

This was Castle and Joan Crawford's unreleased follow-up to Strait-Jacket. That film made so much money that Castle immediately made plans for Crawford to do a sequel, but Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte and Crawford's alleged illness got in the way. By the time Crawford got around to doing the film, there was a brand new script and she was a new character named -- ironically -- Mrs. Vorhees (although spelled with one "o.") Jackie Vorhees owns cabins for rent in Maine. Who should show up one day but the man who jilted her years ago and the woman he married. The two are killed in a gruesome sequence, but their bodies disappear. Eventually there are more murders-by-hatchet and Jackie is the prime -- although certainly not the only -- suspect. Gloria Blondell isn't bad as the manager of the cabins, who has some odd secrets of her own. Cameron Mitchell is a horny handyman, and Christine Jorgenson has a great guest appearance as a traveling saleslady. Gregor Tanese is fine as an overly ambitious reporter. The film was never completed, however, because Joan walked off the set, although the ending was shot and a DVD is expected to surface in early 2019.

Verdict: Compelling hatchet job with a zesty Joan. ***.

CRAWFORD!

Crawford, of course

The "Essential" Biography: Quirk; Schoell

JOAN! (and I don't mean Joan Collins)

This week on the FX network begins a new series on the supposed life-long "feud" between Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, which has been greatly exaggerated, to say the least. The two women were not good friends, did not especially like each other, but a "feud" is over-stating things. Crawford was not crazy about the fact that Davis got nominated for a Best Actress Oscar for What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? while she didn't; and Davis was not at all thrilled when she lost said Oscar to an absent Anne Bancroft, and as arranged,  Crawford accepted the statuette for her. So there was Crawford getting the (second-hand) applause from the crowd while Davis could only watch in disappointment. Joan was always annoyed that Davis considered herself the better, more serious actress while Davis, who fancied herself more down-to-earth than Joan, disliked what she saw as Joan's diva-like ways. In truth, both women were major movie stars who were more alike than they were different. The two women were to be re-teamed on Hush ... Hush, Sweet Charlotte, but Joan discovered she had no great desire to work with a grumpy, unpleasant Davis anymore (it was she who had come to Davis with the book "Baby Jane?") and she feigned sickness to get out of the assignment; Olivia De Havilland replaced her.

Cut out of her will because Joan felt she had supported her daughter long enough, and angry that Joan couldn't help the modestly talented young lady get anywhere in her career, Christina Crawford decided to get even and make money by writing "Mommie, Dearest," which even her siblings found "fake and fictional." Ever since that time Crawford has been turned into a joke, with every single thing she's said or done being re-interpreted as proof that she was some kind of monster. She has been subjected to perpetual sniggering by those who believed every single word of Christina's tome .Much has been made of Crawford's "phoniness," such as her being "sick" on Oscar night when she was nominated (and won) for Mildred Pierce, In one interview, co-star Ann Blyth intelligently explained Joan's reasons for this, but the persistent interviewer kept trying to make something more out of it, Sheesh -- is anyone really that surprised that old-time movie stars (or even current ones) can be "phonies" at times?!

All movie stars are difficult to deal with, and Crawford may have had imperfections as both mother and woman, but both the one-sided book and the film adaptation make her out to be utterly grotesque. It's almost become impossible to look at her life or career in an objective manner. I and my co-author Lawrence J. Quirk, who knew Joan well for years, attempted to redress that wrong in our book, Joan Crawford: The Essential Biography. The book doesn't necessarily whitewash Joan, but it does expose a lot of the crap that has been written and said about her, and provides a more objective look at her life and career. The book was published by the University Press of Kentucky in 2002 and is available in various editions, including kindle, on amazon and elsewhere.

Here's a review of the book from Library Journal.

"She wasn't the greatest actress of the silver screen, but was there ever a bigger star than Joan Crawford? Who else had made ten films with Gable, danced with Fred Astaire, won an Academy Award for best actress (in 1945, for Mildred Pierce), outlasted her contemporary Greta Garbo by nearly three decades ... ? And just as she was fading from memory, she got a new lease on notoriety with the publication of adopted daughter Christina's Mommie Dearest. In a dual preface, Quirk (The Films of Joan Crawford), a personal friend of the actress, rejects much of that highly unflattering account, while Schoell (Martini Man: The Life of Dean Martin) debunks it entirely. Their study is a thoroughgoing, evenhanded review of Crawford's life and work, which in tone is neither academic nor gossipy but rather confessional, as if they are eager to set the record straight. It should go a long way toward restoring Crawford's reputation as a hardworking professional who lived for her fans and managed to slap almost every leading man who ever played opposite her. In Sunset Boulevard, Gloria Swanson's character famously observed, "I'm still big; it's the pictures that got small." Perhaps the same could be said of Crawford. Recommended for all film collections in public and academic libraries".Edward Cone, New York.

So, this week GREAT OLD MOVIES looks at the television work of Joan Crawford: telefilms, dramatic series, anthologies, and westerns. We also take another look at the film version of Mommie, Dearest. And to round it out, a critique of the television remake of Baby Jane with Lynn and Vanessa Redgrave!

*Ann Blyth was interviewed in 2006 at a San Francisco showing of Mildred Pierce and was asked questions by the happily gesticulating host, who kept referring to "this crowd" and indulged in some Joan-bashing (saying she was the last person he would want to have dinner with but that Ann and Eve Arden would top the list). Try as he might to get Blythe to say something bad about Joan, she wouldn't do it, probably because she had no nasty stories to tell.

JOAN ON GE THEATER

"Because I Love Him:" Crawford

JOAN CRAWFORD ON G.E. THEATER.

General Electric Theater was hosted by future president Ronald Reagan. Joan Crawford appeared in three episodes of the dramatic series, which ran for nine seasons:

Joan's first appearance on GET was in 1954 in a story entitled "The Road to Edinburgh." In this she plays Mary, a determined newspaper columnist driving from London to Edinburgh who meets a stranger named Wickers (John Sutton of The Invisible Man Returns) when he comes out of nowhere to fix her flat tire. She gives him a lift, but gets understandably freaked out when he tells her he just got out of prison after eighteen years after murdering his wife's elderly aunt. Fearing for her life, Mary does her best to get help from a hitch-hiking U.S. soldier (Chuck Connors) and the police. Although suspenseful, the wind-up in this episode is especially stupid, and considering the things that Wickers told her about himself, her self-contempt over her unfounded suspicions are ridiculous. **.

Strange Witness: Tom Tryon, Crawford

"Strange Witness" is listed on imdb.com as being an episode of GET as well as of The Joseph Cotton Show: On Trial; possibly a rerun. In the best of her GET appearances, Joan plays Ruth. who takes a lover, David (Tom Tryon), and is trapped in a loveless marriage with Chris (John McIntire.) Chris comes home earlier than expected and tells David, "You should have fixed your face when Ruth did," referring to the lipstick on David's cheek. With the affair out in the open, David cold-bloodedly shoots Chris. As they're deciding what to do with the body, Chris' blind friend, John (Sidney Blackmer) comes a' callin'. The couple think they have it made, but there's a shocking surprise waiting for them. Tryon [The Unholy Wife] is fine as the handsome sociopath; McIntire and Blackmer are excellent; and Joan, despite some "actressy" moments, offers a very good performance. The script was by Gavin Lambert. ***.

Joan's final GET appearance was in 1959. "And One Was Loyal" takes place in the tropics where George Manson (Tom Helmore of Shadow on the Wall) asks if he can briefly enjoy the hospitality of Roger (Robert Douglas) and Ann (Crawford) Howard. Roger is a mean drunk whose tormenting actions resulted in Ann becoming mute. Her ability to speak comes back when Roger is murdered, and George begins to wonder about Ann's actions. Crawford looks radiantly beautiful and makes good use of her very expressive face in this story. **1/2.

In 1953 Joan also appeared in an episode of The Revlon Mirror Theater, in a story entitled "Because I Love Him." In this very weird and contrived bit of fiction, a doctor (William Ching) tells Margaret Hughes (Crawford) that her husband, David (I believe this was Philip Dorn), has only a year to live. She is importuned to keep it a secret, and do everything she can to help him achieve his potential in that year. Despite her devotion, however, David falls in love with a colleague, Ann (Virginia Gray). Now what? While the situation is intriguing, this has a final twist that makes virtually no sense at all. Crawford handles the dubious plot turns even better than expected, and is quite good. **1/2.

JOAN IN THE WILD WEST

Joan in "Rebel Ranger" on Zane Grey Theater

JOAN CRAWFORD IN THE WILD WEST.

Joan Crawford appeared in one famous movie western, Johnny Guitar, Some of the TV series Joan appeared in included such westerns as The Virginian and two episodes of Zane Grey Theater.

Joan appeared on Zane Grey Theater, which was hosted by Dick Powell, in 1959 and 1961. In the first story, "Rebel Ranger," she plays Stella Faring, who has lost her rebel husband in the Civil War, and only wants to return with her son, Rob (Don Grady), to the home they once shared. Unfortunately, the house was taken by the Yankees and sold to Case Taggart (Scott Forbes), who says that he is the legal owner and she and the boy cannot stay. Stella moves in anyway, and soon others are interfering in this mini-war until someone gets shot. This is a very interesting story with a fine performance from Crawford and from handsome Forbes [Adventures of Jim Bowie], who appeared mostly on television in the US and England where he was born. Young Grady and John Anderson as a friend of Stella's are also notable. ***.

Joan in "One Must Die" on  Zane Grey Theater

On the other end of the spectrum is "One Must Die," in which John Baylor (Philip Carey) comes to a house in Texas to arrange a will for a dying man, Hobbes (Carl Benton Reid). Hobbes has two daughters, Sarah and Melanie, both played by Crawford, but it is obvious from the first that this is a lame split personality story that was hackneyed long before 1961. Joan is good, if a bit too old, for the part, but at least she gets to spit out the line: "You call yourself a man -- wanting someone as drab and sexless as Sarah!" The woman's mental problems are resolved so quickly at the end that it's comical. *1/2.

Joan appeared on The Virginian in 1970 in an episode entitled "Nightmare." In this Stephanie White (Crawford) marries John White (Michael Conrad), but he is crippled in an accident and dies in a fire. After she inherits his business, to his brother's consternation, it is discovered that her first husband died under similar circumstances. When Stephanie is accused of murder, the Virginian (James Drury), is one of the few who believe in her innocence. Joan has some very good moments in this.**1/2.

JOAN DOES TV IN THE SIXTIES AND AFTER

Joan with Milner and Corbett on Route 66

JOAN DOES TV IN THE SIXTIES AND AFTER. 

Primarily a film star, Crawford, as mentioned, had numerous appearances on television in addition to GE Theater and Zane Grey Theater.

In 1963 Joan appeared in the episode "Same Picture, Different Frame" on Route 66. In this young Linc Case (Glenn Corbett, who had taken over from George Maharis) inexplicably gets involved with the "mid-forties"Morgan Harper (Joan was actually 57 at the time), whose husband, Eric (Patrick O'Neal), has escaped from an institution. Case comes to her rescue when Eric goes on a murder spree. Crawford gives a good performance, but the script, meant to be moving, is only mediocre, and Case's interest in Morgan is never explained. But then, I've always thought, perhaps wrongly, that Route 66 was a vastly over-rated TV series. In any case, this is not one of its better episodes. Martin Milner, the show's other star, doesn't interact much with Crawford. **.

Joan appeared on The Man from U.N.C.L.E. in 1967 on "The Five Daughters Affair," one of the least memorable UNCLE episodes. Even though Crawford would have made an exciting THRUSH villainess, she is only cast in a minor role and.is killed off in the first few minutes of the show,  As the two part Uncle episodes were often turned into feature films in Europe, it was hoped that Joan's name would have marquee value. **.

Joan appeared in "Lucy and the Lost Star" on The Lucy Show in 1968. Lucy and Viv (Vivian Vance) have car trouble near Joan's house. She makes them lemonade, and the two wacky ladies come to the conclusion that Joan is broke. They all put on a show, and in a sketch Crawford comes to work in a speakeasy with Lucy and Viv as molls. Joan is fine, and the show is cute. Joan also appeared in what I believe may have been a pilot for a variety series starring comic actor Tim Conway. This was very silly and negligible but Joan is funny and maintains her dignity. **1/2.

In 1969 Joan appeared in the Night Gallery telefilm, which later became an hour-long series hosted by Rod Serling. Joan was excellent as an imperious blind woman in her segment "Eyes," which was directed by a very young Steven Spielberg, ***.

Joan's last TV appearance -- her final credit, in fact -- was on The Sixth Sense, a spooky anthology series. Star Gary Collins played a psychic investigator. In the first episode, "Dear Joan, We're Going to Scare You to Death,"directed by John Newland, Crawford was the guest-star. In the version of this that I saw on youtube, Collins only provides narration. Joan Fairchild (Crawford) encounters a group of young people who are experimenting with their paranormal abilities, and some decide to see if they can literally frighten the woman to death. Crawford is good, but this seems padded, and has characters wandering around to little effect. Dull, slow-paced, and with a terrible musical score. .*1/2.

Joan substituted for her daughter, Christina, on a couple of episodes of the soap opera, The Secret Storm. Joan also did two TV movies, Woman on the Run (1959) and The Foxes (1961) but I haven't been able to find these.

JOAN ON THE BBC

JOAN CRAWFORD ON THE BBC.

Crawford did a late sixties interview for the BBC which covered her entire career and her thoughts on current movies and performers. At first Joan seemed a bit guarded and not relaxed, and complained how the British seemed obsessed with age (apparently some reporters came right out and bluntly asked her how old she was). "I know some people think there are very few things before my time," she said. She relaxed a bit more as the interview with the young admiring host continued, although when she answered a question she didn't always really answer the question, but said -- as stars are wont to do -- what she wanted to say. She talked admiringly of Bette Davis and said she enjoyed working with her on Baby Jane, calling Davis a "fascinating actress" but saying they really hadn't had time to become friends. She was, however, close friends with Barbara Stanwyck, whom the interviewer compared to her, pleasing Joan. Joan apologized in a way for making negative comments about Liz Taylor's personal life, but praised her acting skills, and said, next to Gable, John Garfield was her most dynamic co-star. Joan said that "I never had a sense of humor about myself until I worked with George Cukor." During the interview she is friendly, smiles, makes amusing comments and reacts to same, but it still comes off, understandably considering her years in front of the camera, as if it's another performance. and while it may not be fair to say she is humorless, she is,as mentioned, holding herself in warily. She expresses the wish that pictures had more romance and glamor, and suggests that Warren Beatty is ornery, while admiring Natalie Wood, whom she feels hasn't reached her potential, that there was no longer any help or guidance for actors as in the studio days. Joan talks affectionately of Lionel Barrymore, but while admiring his genius, admits that John Barrymore could be difficult while making Grand Hotel. Basically Joan is ever the professional, and the interview, while not that probing, is a good one. It probably didn't hurt that Joan seems to like the kind of cute interviewer.

Verdict: Joan talks! ***.

MOMMIE DEAREST

Joan and paramour: Faye Dunaway and Michael Edwards

MOMMIE DEAREST (1981). Director: Frank Perry.

"I don't want [Christina] growing up a spoiled Hollywood brat just because she's Joan Crawford's daughter."

"Bring me the ax!"

The first thing to remember about Mommie Dearest is that it is not about Joan Crawford. It is, in my opinion, about a fictional movie star whose life in some ways parallels the real Crawford. Based on her daughter Christina Crawford's venom-dipped memoir, the film can hardly be accused of objectivity. The second thing to remember about Mommie Dearest is that it might have amounted to a fairly good movie, a moving account of a troubled relationship between a mother and daughter who loved each other in spite of everything, had Frank Perry used made-up names for the characters, admitted it was mostly "fake and fictional" as two of Joan's other children charged, and reigned in the more abysmal moments of Faye Dunaway's performance.

The shame of it is that Mommie Dearest, and Dunaway herself, have their moments. Dunaway's best scenes are her quieter, more vulnerable ones, such as when L. B Mayer (Howard Da Silva) releases Joan from her contract, or when her lover Greg (Steve Forrest) walks out on her, or when she admits to her grown daughter that "I'm scared, Tina, I'm scared" after she's dropped by another studio. The trouble is that director Frank Perry either allowed Dunaway to gnash at the scenery in her worst moments, or was completely helpless to prevent her from going completely over the top. You keep expecting foam to come out of her mouth. It is these scenes that make some people feel that the movie is a camp or cult classic. The screenplay doesn't help, of course, but Dunaway should have realized that even when a person is angry and drunk they don't necessarily act utterly demented. This movie's negative portrayal of Joan does nothing to suggest whatever emotional devastation or disturbance might have caused the fictional Joan's abusive actions. This is not shameless over-acting; it's shameful over-acting. It turns the movie into a travesty.

Dunaway [Bonnie and Clyde] rarely plays a real person, but instead trades on Crawford's latter-day movie image. Hence we have her calling for Tina to bring her an ax (a la Strait-Jacket) in the garden at midnight and slapping Tina as if she were Veda in Mildred Pierce. This not only does a disservice to Crawford, it does a disservice to the movie and everyone connected to it. It dissipates the effect of genuinely well-handled and well-acted scenes, such as when Joan gives Tina a pearl necklace, the first gift that husband Alfred Steele had ever given her, after his death. And the film is illogical as well, with Crawford "acting out" not just when she's at the bottom but after she wins an Oscar! (This is not to say, however, that the film is dull; it isn't.)

The other actors fare better. Steve Forrest as Greg Savitt, a character based on lawyer Greg Bautzer, is occasionally more on target than Dunaway. Both Mara Hobel and Diana Scarwid are excellent as Christina as,a child and an adult. Howard Da Silva makes a cunning L. B. Mayer,  Rutyana Alda scores as Joan's devoted maid and companion, as does Priscilla Pointer as Mrs. Chadwick, who runs the girl's school in which Tina is enrolled. Harry Goz and Michael Edwards have smaller roles, as, respectively, Alfred Steele and Joan's gorgeous date, Ted Gelber, and are fine. Paul Lohmann's cinematography is first-rate. Joan had two other children besides Christina and Christopher (who makes sporadic appearances), but understandably they are not depicted in the film as they thought Christina's book was garbage; Crawford's three other husbands are also ignored. Mommie Dearest does make a few minor stabs at objectivity, at presenting some of Crawford's more positive qualities, but this is Christina's movie all the way -- it was even co-produced by her husband. Christina thought Dunaway's performance was "ludicrous." which is saying a lot, but what did she expect would come out of "Mommie Dearest?"Christina was also reacting to Dunaway's disinterest in talking to her and her possible disbelief in the validity of the memoir. Meanwhile, Frank Perry has directed much better movies, such as Diary of a Mad Housewife and The Swimmer.

Verdict: A textbook case in how an untrammeled star, an uneven script, and poor source material can sink what might have been a good movie. **1/2.

HARRIET CRAIG

Joan Crawford as Harriet Craig

HARRIET CRAIG (1950). Director: Vincent Sherman.

"I don't like trains. I don't like the feeling of being rushed along in the darkness. Having no control. Having my life completely in someone else's hands" -- Harriet Craig.

This remake of Craig's Wife is actually the third film version of George Kelly's play, which was first made as a silent. In this loose adaptation, Joan Crawford plays Harriet Craig, who likes order and neatness and everything in its place, including her husband, Walter (Wendell Corey of The Big Knife). She and her mother were abandoned by her father, and she needs to be in total control of her life and everyone else's, including her niece, Clare's (K. T. Stevens), who has lived with her and Walter for many years, and whose relationship with Wes (William Bishop of It's a Great Life) she tries to destroy. This version eliminates the character of Walter's aunt, and provides an even stronger motive for Walter's walking out on his wife. Crawford and Corey give very good performances, and the supporting cast, including Lucile Watson, Stevens, Ellen Corby, and Viola Roache, is notable.

Verdict: Crawford in dragon lady mode. ***.

BATTLE-AXE: THE MAKING OF "STRAIT-JACKET"

An intense Joan Crawford

BATTLE-AXE: THE MAKING OF "STRAIT-JACKET." (2002). Producer/director: Jeffrey Schwarz.

"We have to remember that we can't expect everyone to be perfect." -- Diane Baker.

This is an entertaining, if brief, look behind the scenes of the William Castle production of Strait-Jacket, starring the inimitable Joan Crawford. The title refers to the weapon of choice in the movie -- which "realistically depicts axe murders" -- and not to Crawford, who is basically handled sympathetically and whose performance in the black and white B shocker is deservedly praised. Joan Blondell was supposed to play the lead but she was injured in an accident. The part of Joan's daughter, played by Diane Baker, was originally essayed by a more voluptuous but apparently less talented and unnamed actress whom Crawford wanted replaced. There are interesting observations from film historian David Del Valle, as well as comments from Baker, who tells -- not unkindly -- that Crawford drank a bit and had the ending changed so that it would focus on her and not Baker [well, she was the star, after all]. Baker says at one point that the makers of horror films, such as William Castle, are actually "lovable," but apparently she didn't feel that way about Alfred Psycho Hitchcock, whom she doesn't exactly depict as lovable in Donald Spoto's book Spellbound by Beauty [Baker appeared in Hitchcock's Marnie]. 

Verdict: Interesting featurette on a minor horror classic. ***.

FEMALE ON THE BEACH

FEMALE ON THE BEACH (1955). Director: Joseph Pevney.

Drummer: "How do you like your coffee?"

Lynn: "Alone!"

Wealthy widow Lynn Markham (Joan Crawford) moves into a beautiful beach house her husband owned that had formerly been leased to another wealthy widow, Eloise Crandell (Judith Evelyn). Eloise took a header off the deck onto the rocks below, and homicide is suspected, and the chief suspect is a handsome hustler named Drummer (Jeff Chandler), who has now set his sights on Lynn. Drummer has two sleazy associates who pretend to be his aunt and uncle, Osbert (Cecil Kellaway) and Queenie (Natalie Schafer), but Lynn gives the both of them a good dressing down. Unfortunately, Drummer has something the other two don't have, and that's sex appeal, so Lynn finds herself falling for the guy despite her better instincts. But has she stepped out of the frying pan into the fire? Female on the Beach has a workable premise and some good dialogue, but something's missing, and that's veracity and in-depth characterization. As essayed by Crawford, Lynn seems too smart not to walk away from Drummer when he says things like "I don't hate woman -- I just hate the way they are." True, it takes him some time to wear away her resistance, with her telling him initially "You're about as friendly as a suction pump!" The two leads aren't bad, although in some of their scenes talking of the past they seem like college students in an acting class. Kellaway [The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms] and Schafer [Repeat Performance] are fine, as is Jan Sterling [Johnny Belinda] as a real estate lady and former flame of Drummer's. Evelyn [Rear Window] makes an impression despite her limited screen time -- the opening and a couple of flashbacks. Charles Drake shows up now and then as a cop investigating Eloise's suspicious death [one has to wonder how such a tiny, frail thing as Evelyn could cause such damage to a wooden railing even if she were jet-propelled through it?] Female on the Beach is somewhat entertaining, but it's cheap, tawdry, and often unbelievable. Pevney also directed Man of a Thousand Faces with James Cagney. As an actor he appeared in such films as Body and Soul.

Verdict: Flaccid suspenser. **1/2.

NIGHT GALLERY (1969)

Joan Crawford in a dramatic moment

NIGHT GALLERY (1969 telefilm). Hosted and scripted by Rod Serling. Directors: Boris Sagal; Steven Spielberg; Barry Shear.

Rod Serling's follow-up to The Twilight Zone was a new fantasy-horror series in which Serling introduced each episode from a gallery of paintings, each painting tied in to one of the night's stories. This telefilm was the pilot for the show, and featured three tales of the bizarre. In the first, "The Cemetery," Roddy McDowall murders his decrepit wealthy uncle (George Macready), then freaks out as he sees the old man apparently breaking out of his grave in stages in a painting that hangs on the wall -- is the corpse coming after him with murder on its mind? The manservant, Portifoy (Ossie Davis), figures in an amusing climax. In the second story, "Eyes," filthy rich Miss Menlo (Joan Crawford), who has been blind since birth, pays a poor fool (Tom Bosley) to give her his eyes for money even as her doctor (Barry Sullivan) tells her she'll only have sight for about eleven hours. The story is deliciously ironic if quite improbable. [This was one of Steven Spielberg's earliest assignments; Crawford thought he was the coffee boy!] The third tale, "The Escape Route," is a highly satisfying tale in which a Nazi war criminal (Richard Kiley) in South America dreams of finding peace from "persecution" [!] in a pastoral painting hanging in the local museum, but winds up in a much more fitting scenario. Serling has scripted some fine dialogue for the stories, and gotten some top-flight actors to give their all for the all-important pilot. Roddy McDowall and Ossie Davis both deliver the goods in the first segment; Crawford and Sullivan are terrific in the second [with solid support from Bosley]; and Kiley, in an unusual turn for him, is splendid as the Nazi Strobe, with Norma Crane making quite a positive impression as the contemptuous prostitute, Gretchen. Serling is as adept a host as ever and the three directors are on top of things.

Verdict: Easy to see why this went to series. ***.

DESILU: THE STORY OF LUCILLE BALL AND DESI ARNAZ

DESILU: THE STORY OF LUCILLE BALL AND DESI ARNAZ. Coyne Steven Sanders and Tom Gilbert. New and Expanded Edition. Itbooks; 2011.

This isn't just the story of I Love Lucy, but of the marriage [and eventual divorce] of Ball and Arnaz, their Desilu empire and its successes [Star Trek] and failures [Guestward Ho], Lucy's subsequent TV shows after Lucy went off the air, and the often unsavory private lives of both individuals. Desi's business sense was often compromised by his heavy drinking, and after awhile he was incapable of helming Desilu. Ball could be kind to friends and associates, but on other occasions she could be a real monster. [According to this she had guest star Joan Crawford in tears!] Bolstered by many interviews, including with daughter Lucie Arnaz, this goes behind the scenes of The Lucy Show, Here's Lucy, and Ball's last attempt at a TV show, Life with Lucy, with comments from the cast. The book also looks into her marriage with second husband Gary Morton. You'll find lots of info on William Frawley and Vivian Vance as well.

Verdict: An inside, page-turning look at television's most famous and influential couple. ***1/2. 

PATHETIC CHRISTINA CRAWFORD NEVER GIVES UP

Christina and Joan Crawford

CHRISTINA CRAWFORD'S LATEST DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO BECOME MORE FAMOUS THAN HER MOTHER

Poor Christina Crawford never gives up. Although most sensible people -- including two of her siblings -- have dismissed Mommie Dearest as (as her sister put it) "fake and fictional," she still keeps trying to trade off the book's success -- and the fact that famous movie star Joan Crawford was her adoptive mother.

First Christina tried intimating that Joan murdered her fourth husband Alfred Steele, a fact-less, fruitless ploy that didn't work. Now she claims to have suddenly discovered her mother's blue movies and "naked home videos" in which she allegedly is having sex with a man. Even if it's true, who cares? Joan certainly had a right to an active sex life and if she wanted to photograph it that's her business.

So now Christina is readying a stage show -- starring herself -- called "Surviving Mommie Dearest" in which, presumably, these videos will play a part.

Christina is beating a dead horse.

One can't help but think of what Myrna Loy wrote in her autobiography [written with the help of James Kotsilibas-Davis]: "[Christina] wanted to be Joan Crawford. I think that's the basis of the book she wrote afterward, and everything else. I saw what her mind created, the fantasy world she lived in ... She envied her mother, grew to hate her, and wanted to destroy her."

Apparently the publication of Mommie Dearest brought no closure to Christina Crawford. Or at least not enough lasting fame or money to suit her.

Because here she is again, still battening off her mother, and still beating her up far worse than she contends her mother ever beat her.

Pathetic, really.

This is a lady who needs to get a life.