PRIZZI'S HONOR

Jack Nicholson and Kathleen Turner

PRIZZI'S HONOR (1985). Director: John Huston. 

Hitman Charlie Partanna (Jack Nicholson), who used to be engaged to the disgraced Maerose Prizzi (Anjelica Huston of Crimes and Misdemeanors), meets and becomes instantly smitten with Irene Walker (Kathleen Turner) at a wedding. The two fall in love and get married, even after Charlie finds out Irene has a husband whom Charlie murders. Irene is hiding a deadly secret, and it isn't long before both husband and wife are being told by different factions to off the other. Now the question is: will they actually be able to murder their own spouse, and which one of them will get it first?

Anjelica Huston and Nicholson

Prizzi's Honor is a black comedy that hasn't worn well with time, although I think it was quite over-rated, even by me, when it was first released. Nowadays there are far too many movies with rather loathsome "heroes" or anti-heroes that we're supposed to care about, even though in real life most of us would do our best to avoid them. The innocent victims in the movie are shunted aside as if they had no importance, which they don't in the world of the Prizzi's and their associates. If this film, based on Richard Condon's novel, is meant to be an indictment of these sleazy people, it doesn't come off that way -- it just doesn't have that much on its mind.

Stealing the movie: Lee Richardson

Nicholson and Turner are okay in the leads playing impossible parts. Although Huston won a supporting Oscar, which she didn't really deserve, she's not that memorable. (I thought she was terrific on Smash, however.) The supporting cast of more experienced actors is much better, with Lee Richardson [The Fly II] taking top honors and John Randolph [Seconds] a close second. The best I can say about William Hickey as Huston's vengeance-filled grandfather is that he's quite odd, and I liked him better in his appearances as the crazy and annoying old man on episodes of Wings. 

Verdict: One of those movies that makes you wonder what you ever saw in it. Still, it is entertaining. **3/4.

ARABESQUE

Sophia Loren and Gregory Peck 

ARABESQUE (1966). Produced and directed by Stanley Donen.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, my dear, but Mr. Pollock is as poor as a church mouse." -- Beshraavi

"He was rather strange, even for an American."

Professor David Pollock (Gregory Peck) is drafted by an Arab Prime Minister, Hasson Jena (Carl Duering) to enter the home of the sinister Beshraavi (Alan Badel of Salome) and decode a cipher on a piece of paper with a Hittite inscription that my reveal the man's plans. The house is apparently owned by Yasmin Azir (Sophia Loren), Beshraavi's mistress, and to Pollock's befuddlement her role keeps changing even as she seems to switch sides with the drop of a hat. Before long he and Yasmin are on the run, dodging bullets and trying to get back the cipher so they can figure out what is happening. But David is never sure if he can fully trust Yasmin. Arabesque was Stanley Donen's follow-up to the more successful Charade, but the film's first big problem is the miscasting of the two leads. Peck tries to approximate but fails to deliver the light touch of a Cary Grant, and Loren is also a bit too heavy-handed, although she tries. Arabesque has a solid plot but the script has too many silly, indeed stupid, detours, and some of the action scenes are completely muffed by Donen, who is no Hitchcock. On the other hand, there is some exciting business near the end, including an attack on the principals at a construction site, an attempt to stop an assassination, and a race across a bridge while a helicopter is firing live ammunition at the couple. Another problem is that Alan Badel looks too much like Peter Sellers impersonating an Indian (which he did more than once in his career, such as in The Millionairess, which he did with Loren) and you keep expecting -- or hoping -- he will suddenly indulge in some hilarious shtick. No such luck. Henry Mancini's score does little to help. A much better thriller for Peck was Mirage.

Verdict: So so comedy-thriller with a few good sequences, but not nearly enough. **1/2.

LIBERACE VS. LEATHERFACE

LIBERACE VS. LEATHERFACE (1981). Director: Toby Hooperman.

Fans of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre are probably unaware that this incredible film, never released, was actually the first sequel to the famous horror film. Liberace did the film as a lark, and good-naturedly spoofs his flamboyant, very stereotypically gay image. In the movie Leatherface and his family are driving to Atlantic City to meet relatives -- killing and eating people along the way -- when their car breaks down. They wind up at an old mansion wherein they find Liberace, greeting them at the door in all his finery and holding the all-important candelabra. Leatherface and his pals have no idea what to make of the star, while Liberace seems completely unfazed by the weird assortment of cannibals he finds on his door. He even attempts a makeover on Leatherface, and calls in Phyllis Diller to do everyone's hair. It all ends in a riotous free-for-all between police and the freaks, with Liberace wondering why the cops should be so brutal to "such nice friendly people."

Verdict: Well, it's certainly different. **1/2.

MY FAVORITE BLONDE

Gale Sondergaard and Bob Hope

MY FAVORITE BLONDE (1942). Director: Sidney Lanfield.

Larry Haines (Bob Hope) has an act with a trained penguin named Percy. Larry is about to make his way out to Hollywood from New York -- Percy has gotten a movie contract, but not Larry -- when he encounters a blonde named Karen (Madeleine Carroll of The Prisoner of Zenda), who is secretly a British agent. With the unwitting aid of Larry, Karen tries to keep herself and a scorpion-shaped pin containing secret information, out of the clutches of nasty spies Madame Runick (Gale Sondergaard) and Dr. Streger (George Zucco of Fog Island). Meanwhile Larry and Karen are off on a cross-country chase, trying to get safely to Las Angeles where they can give the pin to a military contact. Along the way they get involved with an Irish picnic and some stubborn Irishmen, encounter Bing Crosby in his first cameo in a Hope film, wind up at a lecture for a baby doctor impersonated by Larry, and confront Carl "Alfalfa" Switzer at his most obnoxious. My Favorite Blonde begins rather grimly with the murder of more than one agent, but it is also consistently amusing, has some great and funny sequences, and Hope and Carroll -- who at first seem an odd team -- are both excellent and play extremely well together. Percy is adorable, but Sondergaard [The Cat Creature] and Zucco, although wonderful, don't get nearly enough to do. There are a host of fine and funny character actors in this as well. A top-notch comedy-thriller. Among the many great scenes in this picture is one in which Sondergaard, Zucco and their henchmen get in a staring contest with Hope!

Verdict: One of Hope's best and most entertaining movies with the comic in fine form. ***1/2.

TWO ON A GUILLOTINE

TWO ON A GUILLOTINE (1965). Producer/Director: William Conrad.

Cassie Duquesne (Connie Stevens of Susan Slade) has not seen her father in years when she attends his funeral and is given the strange (and unlikely) conditions of his will. She must stay overnight for seven days in Duke Duquesne's (Cesar Romero) house or she will forfeit a small fortune that will go to her associate Buzzy (Parley Baer) and Connie's former nanny, Polly (Virginia Gregg of Crime in the Streets). Val Henderson (Dean Jones) helps Connie explore the house and its weird goings-on but she is furious to learn that he is a reporter. Then Polly shows up screaming that Duke is alive ... Two on a Guillotine was one of three light thrillers directed by Conrad in the sixties along with Brainstorm and My Blood Runs Cold, and is the best of them. The performances of everyone, including a Jack Lemmon-like Dean Jones, are all good, and Gregg (always an outstanding actress), and Connie Gilchrist as an hysterical housekeeper, are particularly noteworthy. There's a genuinely suspenseful climax involving the title object. The plot, which is reminiscent of some of William Castle's chillers, will not hold up to inspection but it doesn't need to. Max Steiner provides a good backdrop for the action. One has to wonder if the rabbit that is seen running through the house (and for which Steiner composed its own theme) ever actually gets anything to eat?

Verdict: Entertaining and effective comedy-thriller. ***.

OCEAN'S THIRTEEN

OCEAN'S THIRTEEN (2007). Director: Steven Soderbergh.

When Reuben Tishkoff (Elliott Gould) winds up in the hospital because he gets screwed over by hotel man Willy Bank (Al Pacino), his friends gather together to enact one more con. The idea is to deprive Bank of a coveted award by giving the reviewer (David Paymer) a miserable vacation -- and ruining Bank's opening night -- while rival hotelier Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) agrees to help with their plan if they steal some of Bank's coveted diamonds for them. Ocean's Thirteen is leisurely but entertaining, with the best acting from Paymer, Garcia [Twisted], Gould, Pacino and Carl Reiner, not to mention Don Cheadle and especially Ellen Barkin [Adventures of Buckeroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension] in an excellent turn as Bank's security gal, Abigail. George Clooney and Brad Pitt sort of saunter dully through this affair without raising a sweat, while Matt Damon is somewhat more interesting. Soderbergh also directed Behind the Candelabra and the inferior Ocean's Twelve.

Verdict: Amiable nonsense. ***.

HOW TO STEAL A MILLION

Peter O'Toole and Audrey Hepburn

HOW TO STEAL A MILLION (1966). Director: William Wyler.

Nicole (Audrey Hepburn) lives in a big house in Paris with her father, Bonnet (Hugh Griffith of Craze), who forges paintings and sculptures and sells them to the highest bidder. Now Bonnet has agreed to lend a phony Cellini statue to a museum, which Nicole warns him is a mistake. It sure is -- the statue has to be authenticated for insurance purposes and it is sure to be exposed as a fake, which will also ruin Bonnet's reputation and call into question every sale he ever made. Nicole decides to steal the statue before the inspection can take place, and enlists the aid of a burglar, Simon (Peter O'Toole of The Ruling Class), that she caught apparently trying to steal one of her father's paintings. There's an undeniable attraction between the two, but can they actually steal the sculpture from such a heavily guarded museum ... ? Although director William Wyler [The Heiress, The Letter, Carrie, four star movies all] wasn't exactly a suspense specialist and was an odd choice for this assignment, he had worked with Audrey Hepburn more than once, and the film still has entertainment value, although it's hardly one of Wyler's best. Hepburn gives another terrific performance, matched by O'Toole, Griffith, and Eli Wallach as a suitor and art collector. Charles Boyer is fine in a brief bit as a colleague of Simon's. Bonnet is in many ways a reprehensible character with no true appreciation of art or artists when you get right down to it. Wyler directed Funny Girl after this, another odd choice.

Verdict: Light and fun if minor. ***.

THE BLACK CAT

Gale Sondergaard

THE BLACK CAT (1941). Director: Albert S. Rogell.

In this entertaining comedy-thriller, the relatives of elderly Henrietta Winslow (Cecelia Loftus) are gathered inside the obligatory spooky mansion waiting for her to die and wondering how much they'll each get. Naturally murders and weird goings-on ensue. The Black Cat certainly has an unusual collection of actors: everyone from Bela Lugosi (as a groundskeeper) to Broderick Crawford to Alan Ladd to Gale Sondergaard [who at least you expect to see in stuff like this] and even Gladys Cooper [whom you don't]. Sondergaard is very amusing as the sinister housekeeper, Abigail, and Gladys Cooper practically steals the picture in her turn as Myrna -- her husband is played by no less than Basil Rathbone, and he, too, is excellent. Anne Gwynne, Claire Dodd, and John Eldredge also have roles and Hugh Herbert is comic relief -- or something. Some may find this a little too humorous to sustain any kind of real atmosphere but it's fun and has an exciting climax.

Verdict: Any picture with this cast can't be all bad. ***.

BLINDFOLD

BLINDFOLD (1965). Director: Philip Dunne.

Psychiatrist Dr. Bartholomew Snow (Rock Hudson) is drafted by General Prat (Jack Warden) to treat an old patient of his, a scientist named Vincenti (Alejandro Rey). Snow is blindfolded and flown to a secret location where the paranoid Vincenti is being held. But is General Prat really who he says he is, and is stuttering patient Fitzpatrick (Guy Stockwell) somehow involved as well? When Snow realizes something's rotten in Denmark, he and Vincenti's sister Vicky (Claudia Cardinale) have to try and retrace Snow's steps while blindfolded and find her brother. Based on a novel by Lucille Fletcher, Blindfold has a good story, but at times the [admittedly often funny] comedy relief simply overwhelms the suspense and dissipates the tension, with the result that the movie wears out its welcome long before it's over. Climactic scenes with alligators, explosions and bullets flying everywhere are busy but handled without any directorial aplomb. Hitchcock probably could have done a lot with this, but Dunne? Cardinale is cute and perky; Hudson more than acceptable in the lead although no Cary Grant. As Snow's secretary Anne Seymour doesn't have enough oomph [a la Eve Arden]. Seymour appeared on The Honeymooners more than once and had a long, long list of credits. Guy Stockwell was the older brother of Dean Stockwell. Jack Warden comes off best as Prat.Dunne also directed The View from Pompey's Head and wrote the screenplay for The Ghost and Mrs. Muir.

Verdict: Okay, if you're not expecting another North By Northwest. **1/2.

THE SPIRIT [telefilm]

Nana Visitor and Sam J. Jones

THE SPIRIT (1987 telefilm). Director: Michael Shultz.

"I think she's got the hots for you -- too bad you're dead."

Years before the terrible theatrical film, also called The Spirit, made in 2008, Will Eisner's comic book/newspaper hero Denny Colt was featured in this made-for-TV movie. After his good friend, a writer who was investigating some kind of art crime, is murdered, Officer Colt comes to LA [or a representation thereof] seeking his killer. Instead he winds up being shot and left for dead. Colt decides to let his enemies think he's deceased, and operating from an HQ in Wildwood cemetery, goes out to fight crime as the masked Spirit. Sam J. Jones is not bad at all as Colt/Spirit, and Nana Visitor is zesty as Ellen Dolan, the police commissioner's (Garry Walberg) daughter. Laura Robinson is acceptable as P'Gell Roxton, the bad girl of the piece, although perhaps not the best casting choice. The stereotypical black character of Ebony, the Spirit's pal and assistant, has been updated to a "streetwise" youth named Eubie (Bumper Robinson) -- another stereotype? The Spirit is amiable enough, but one can see why it never became a series.

Verdict: Okay time waster but little else. **1/2.

HENRY ALDRICH HAUNTS A HOUSE

HENRY ALDRICH HAUNTS A HOUSE  (1943). Director: Hugh Bennett. 

"Things are looking up for this town -- murder and everything!"  -- Dizzy.

 Henry Aldrich (Jimmy Lydon) is up to his usual tricks in this zany installment of the comedy series.  When school principal Bradley (Vaughan Glaser) disappears while going through an allegedly haunted house, Henry is convinced that his is responsible for his murder due to a certain formula he imbibed; he's certain it temporarily changed him into a hulking ghoul. Henry has fallen for the oh-so-intellectual daughter, Elise (Joan Mortimer), of a scientist, and both she and his pal Dizzy (Charles Smith) help Henry investigate the house and discover the truth. And who's that mummy in the basement? John Litel and Olive Blakeney play Henry's long-suffering parents adeptly; Lydon and Smith are just wonderful. While this isn't quite Hold That Ghost, it does have its moments.

Verdict: Suspenseful and amusing. ***.

HOUSE OF MYSTERY

HOUSE OF MYSTERY (1934). Director: William Nigh.

"Horatio, are you going to allow this vulgarian to browbeat me?"

A man named Prendegast (Clay Clement), who now calls himself John Pren and appears to be crippled, lives alone in a creaky old house with his nurse Ella (Verna Hillie) and an ageless Hindu gal named Chanda (Joyzelle Joyner), as well as a big stuffed gorilla. Into the house come a group of people who were investors in an expedition to India twenty years earlier. Prendagast made off with a treasure -- with a curse on it -- as well as Chanda (who doesn't appear a day older), and now the investors want their share of the fortune. In the old house tom-toms begin to sound whenever a murder -- of one of the shareholders, natch -- occurs, and the big ape comes to life and strangles its victims. Harry Bradley and Mary Foy are fun as the hen-pecked Professor Horatio Potter and his termagant wife, Hyacinth. Ed Lowry is the nominal hero of the piece, an extroverted insurance salesman who takes a shine to Ella. Irving Bacon, who plays the inspector investigating the murders, played Ethel's father on I Love Lucy. House of Mystery is no world-beater, but it is fun of a minor kind.

Verdict: For addicts of old house movies primarily. **1/2.

NANCY DREW

NANCY DREW (2007). Director: Andrew Fleming.

The venerable girl detective, Nancy Drew (Emma Roberts), leaves River Heights for California with her father (Tate Donovan) and discovers culture shock, bitchy valley girls, and a mystery involving a famous actress who once lived in the mansion she and her father are renting. Barry Bostwick and Bruce Willis have cameos in the film, which is more light-hearted than the novels and geared for younger viewers. Josh Flitter and Max Thieriot are effective as, respectively, Corky and Ned, the two boys who vie for Nancy's attention. Pat Carroll plays a landlady, and Caroline Aaron is the real estate agent, "Barbara Barbara." Bonita Granville played Nancy years ago in such films as Nancy Drew, Detective and Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase. For more on the girl detective as well as the Hardy Boys, click here.

Verdict: Okay for kids but the books are better. **1/2.

FAMILY PLOT

FAMILY PLOT (1976). Director: Alfred Hitchcock. 

Hitchcock's final film out of fifty-four may not be a masterpiece, but it is a very entertaining, under-rated movie with some clever twists and an interesting plot. Elderly and wealthy Julia Rainbird (Cathleen Nesbit) wants the [phony] medium, Blanche (Barbara Harris) to locate the illegitimate child, now forty, whom her sister gave up at birth so she can make him her heir. Blanche enlists her cab-driving boyfriend, George (Bruce Dern) to help with the search, but is unaware that the heir, now known as Arthur Adamson (William Devane) and his girlfriend, Fran (Karen Black) are behind a series of big-ticket kidnappings -- we learn this early on -- and think Blanche and George are after them for their crimes. Ernest Lehman's excellent script brings both couples and all four main characters to vivid life, and all four actors deliver superlative performances. Nesbit and Ed Lauter as an associate of Arthur's are also splendid. The relationship and banter between Blanche and George is particularly amusing. As this is a light-hearted thriller, even the scene when the couple are nearly killed driving down a winding mountain road when the brakes fail is played as much for laughs as for scares. Handsome production, well-photographed by Leonard J. South. Fran and Arthur live in a very beautiful, exquisitely decorated townhouse. It's interesting to note that only Lehman's and Hitchcock's names are shown durng the opening credits; the actors' names aren't seen until the cast list scrawl at the very end! 

Verdict: A swell way to end a long and distinguished career, although the actors may not have been amused. ***.

ADVENTURES OF BUCKEROO BANZAI ACROSS THE 8TH DIMENSION

THE ADVENTURES OF BUCKEROO BANZAI ACROSS THE 8TH DIMENSION (1984). Director: W. D. Richter.

Penny: "Buckeroo, you forgot your thruster."

Buckeroo: "Why don't you hang onto it for awhile."

This attempt to make a new action hero franchise is a tedious and woeful, career-killing failure virtually devoid of entertainment value. Buckeroo Banzai (Peter Weller) is a multi-talented scientist, adventurer and rock star [with his group the Hong Kong Cavaliers] who winds up battling evil lectroids who came to Earth by way of the 8th dimension. They apparently settled in New Jersey during the Orson Welles' "War of the Worlds" hoax-panic, only it was no hoax. Buckeroo is one of the few people who can see what they really look like. Aiding the lectoids is Dr. Emilio Lizardo (John Lithgow, in an embarrassingly awful performance). Ellen Barkin plays Penny, the twin sister of Buckeroo's late wife, Peggy. This may have been intended as a light-hearted updating of those old movie serials, but they were a lot more entertaining and better-made than this, despite the advances in FX. Earl Mac Rauch's script is a complete mess with only one or two funny lines. Jeff Goldblum, as an associate of Buckeroo's, is the only one of the cast who really survives intact. Even the action sequences are boring. Michael Boddicker's closing theme music is fun, however.

Verdict: Virtually unwatchable. 1/2*.

MURDER MOST FOUL

MURDER MOST FOUL (1964). Director: George Pollock. 

Although Agatha Christie's excellent mystery novel Mrs. McGinty's Dead featured her Belgian detective Hercule Poirot, for some reason it was decided to turn it into a Miss Marple mystery for the films. Christie herself was not happy with the casting of Margaret Rutherford as the slender Miss Marple [Christie also hated the title], but as a comic variation on the character the lovable Rutherford -- a true original if ever there were one -- is excellent. The film takes only the barest premise from the novel and pretty much comes up with a new -- but not a better -- storyline. Miss Marple is the one hold out on the jury when a man is put on trial for the murder of Mrs. McGinty, who was apparently up to a bit of blackmail. Marple decides to investigate on her own while the police just wish she'd disappear. Instead she joins a small theatrical company where there are a couple more murders. Eventually she reveals the dastardly plot while nearly coming to an end more than once. Charles Tingwell is the handsome and exasperated Inspector Craddock, and Marple's friend and assistant Jim Stringer is played by Stringer (sic) Davis. Ron Moody is the single-minded head of the Cosgood Players. This was the third out of four Rutherford/Marple features. 

Verdict: Pleasant but a far cry from -- and much less interesting than -- the novel. **1/2.

NANCY DREW AND THE HIDDEN STAIRCASE

NANCY DREW AND THE HIDDEN STAIRCASE (1939). Director: William Clemens. 

Loosely based on The Hidden Staircase, this uses many of the elements of the novel but is basically a new story. Two elderly sisters live in a mansion and have had to abide for twenty years with their late father's ridiculous will, which says they will inherit the place if they live in the house that entire time and if at least one of the sisters is present in the mansion every night. There's two weeks to go, after which the women intend to give the home to a charitable medical facility. When their chauffeur is murdered, the women panic and Nancy Drew (Bonita Granville) does her best to convince everyone that his death was actually a suicide. She investigates when the old ladies claim items have been stolen from their home even though all the doors and windows were locked. As usual she inveigles the hapless "Ted" Nickerson (Frankie Thomas) into helping her with her schemes. In the books Nancy was brave and occasionally foolhardy but in this she's irresponsible and stupid -- and even screams in fright at a frog! The idiot police chief lets Ted handle the murder weapon. The climax isn't bad, however, and there are some amusing sequences. John Litel is again cast as Carson Drew. 

Verdict: The last of Nancy on the big screen [at that time] -- and not a moment too soon! **.

SEVEN KEYS TO BALDPATE (1929)

SEVEN KEYS TO BALDPATE (1929). Director: Reginald Barker.

Richard Dix (pictured) plays a writer who takers a bet from his publisher that he can complete a new novel in twenty four hours in the seclusion of the publisher's summer resort Baldpate, which is completely empty in the winter. Dix is given "the only key" to the building (why Dix would believe a resort hotel would have just one key is the only real mystery in this turkey) but a dozen or so individuals show up to disturb him, all of them with keys. For once the author is embroiled in the kind of stuff he writes about in his books. There's some business about money being hidden in a safe, a crooked deal, a woman pretending to be somebody's husband, wild gunshots, murder, and a lot of other stuff that is neither amusing nor thrilling -- which is a big problem in an alleged comedy-thriller. Dix doesn't really have the flair for this sort of material although he gives it a good try. There have been seven versions of this dog of a play. This one is especially flat and stage-bound. The twist ending will really make you groan. 

Verdict: Read a good book instead. *.