THE THREE STOOGES featurettes

THE THREE STOOGES featurettes.

Most baby boomers remember the Three Stooges from their TV show when they were older (and different) men and had done the same old routines about ten thousand times. Years before, in the forties, when they were comprised of Moe and Jerry/Curly Howard (Shemp Howard came later) and Larry Fine, the Stooges had done much more interesting short features that were shown in movie theaters. AMC showed quite a number of these on New Year's Day, and while it must be said that the Stooges should only be taken in short doses, some of their old shorts are quite funny. In Hoi Polloi the boys try to turn into society types; the best scene has them imitating their pretty dance instructress who goes into all sorts of physical conniptions when a bee goes down her dress! They masquerade as psychiatrists at a society party in Three Sappy People and discover that a kindly widow has oil on her property in Oily to Bed, Oily to Rise. The boys manage to fix up a hotel but come afoul of mice and other things on opening night in Loco Boy Makes Good, and are ice men turned disastrous chefs in An Ache in Every Steak. As professorial impostors at a girls school, they have the lasses singing a dopey "Alphabet Song" in Violent is the Word for Curly. Curly becomes a wrestler in Grips, Grunts and Groans. In Woman Haters, Larry joins a misogynous club only to discover he has to get married. (The entire story is told in verse and song, but despite this clever aspect it all becomes quite tiresome after awhile.)

Three of the best Stooges shorts are: If a Body Meets a Body in which Curly Q. Link thinks he's inherited money from an uncle and winds up in a haunted mansion with assorted dead bodies; A-Plumbing We Will Go, in which the boys completely demolish a mansion when they try to fix a simple leak in the pipes; and especially Micro-Phonies in which Curly in a wig is mistaken for a grand opera singer and must perform with his buddies in front of a crowd. You have to see the Three Stooges lip-syncing to the sextet from Lucia di Lammermoor to believe it! Hilarious! Fine and the Howard boys were all gifted comic actors. The Stooges' full-length movies include Rockin' in the Rockies, the dreadful Gold Raiders, The Three Stooges Go Around the World in a Daze, and the amusing Have Rocket, Will Travel.

Verdict: They're not the Marx Brothers or Laurel and Hardy but they can be inventive and funny. ***.

CATCH THAT BLONDE!

CATCH THAT BLONDE! (1961). Director: Arthur Lubin.

One of the rarest, least-seen movies ever made, Catch That Blonde! presents the teaming of Marilyn Monroe with the Three Stooges. Initially Monroe was only supposed to do a walk-on, but she had such fun with the stooges that her part was quickly expanded and she agreed to do three more day's work. The Stooges play private eyes who are hired by a jealous husband to find his wandering wife. Originally Marie Windsor had been hired to play the part in a blond wig but when La Monroe decided to stick around Windsor was quickly paid off and dismissed, although she returned to the set a week or so later to play a supporting role and film a zesty cat fight with Monroe. Catch That Blonde! was quickly pulled out of release after Monroe's untimely death, and has never been re-released or put on DVD or VHS. There have been private screenings of the film and grainy bootlegs have circulated for decades. It's too bad more people haven't seen it as both Monroe and the Stooges are in top, funny form and the picture is mostly a scream.

Verdict: Strange bedfellows and all that. ***.

THE THREE STOOGES

THE THREE STOOGES: From Amalgamated Morons to American Icons. Michael Fleming. Foreword by Mel Gibson. Official and Authorized. Doubleday; 1999.

This illustrated coffee table book takes an exhaustive look at the careers and lives of the Three Stooges, which actually consisted of several men over the years. Originally they were three brothers, but Larry Fine was not related, and took over for Shemp Howard (who later came back into the fold). The trio started out as stooges for comic Ted Healy and there are chapters detailing Healy's career both before and after his association with the Stooges, who outgrew him. The Stooges originally made comedy shorts that played in theaters, many of which were quite funny (while others were stinkers). When these played on television, there was a literal and figurative Stooge revival -- the fellows wound up being put in big-screen movies such as Snow White and the Three Stooges and Have Rocket, Will Travel, with mixed results. In any case they had a whole new audience of kids of all ages. The author argues that the Stooges are almost exclusively a male phenomenon, that women just don't dig the Stooges, but I think that's a generalization that might not hold water (no matter what Mel Gibson, who wrote the introduction, may think). Fully half the book is devoted to synopses of all of the Stooges shorts -- and there were many -- but it's more fun to watch (some of) them than to read about them. Still, this is a must-have for serious Stooge fans.

Verdict: Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk -- For all things Stooge. ***.

SNOW WHITE AND THE THREE STOOGES

Stooges

SNOW WHITE AND THE THREE STOOGES (1961). Director: Walter Lang.

The evil queen (Patricia Medina) imprisons her stepdaughter, Snow White (Carol Heiss), because the queen's mirror tells her she is the more beautiful of the two. Meanwhile Prince Charming (Edson Stroll) was banished as a boy and is now a traveling player with his adoptive fathers, the Three Stooges (Joe DeRita, Larry Fine, Moe Howard), who also sell the tonic "Yuk.". When the prince discovers who he is, he determines to rescue the princess and gain back his kingdom, but the queen and Count Oga (Guy Rolfe) may put a crimp in his plans. Snow White and the Three Stooges is a very odd Stooges feature, in that there's not much of their trademark shtick, and the movie is more or less played straight! True, there have been plenty of comedies where the comedians mug while the other cast members play it seriously, but the Stooges normally made farcical films and in a lot of this picture there is not even an attempt to garner laughs. Carol Heiss was an Olympic-class figure skater -- a skating sequence is the highlight of the movie -- but while she's perfectly competent in this she only made one movie. Edson Stroll [The Three Stooges in Orbit] makes an excellent Prince Charming; Medina [The Magic Carpet] is nastily effective (as the queen), as is Rolfe [Mr. Sardonicus]; and there are also roles for Marie Blake as a nursemaid; Buddy Baer as a soldier; Edgar Barrier as the briefly-seen king; and Mel Blanc as the voice of the puppet, Quinto. The Stooges aren't given enough to do and the film is less of a parody than a rather dark fantasy film. The stooges have no problem capably handling the more "dramatic" scenes. Kids were probably bored long before the halfway mark; I was. The songs by Harry Barris  are vaguely pleasant but undistinguished. This is one of several sixties films the Stooges made when their careers were revived by television showings of their older short comedies.

Verdict: Not awful, but not the best of the Stooges, either. **1/2.

THE OUTLAWS IS COMING

Adam West and the Stooges: DeRitas, Howard and Fine

THE OUTLAWS IS COMING (1965). Director: Norman Maurer.

In 1871 a group of outlaws want to slaughter the buffalo to send the Indians on the warpath for their own nefarious purposes. Kenneth Cabot (Adam West of Batman) is sent out to Wyoming with three associates (Larry Fine, Moe Howard, and Joe DeRita) to save the Buffalo from extinction. There they run into Annie Oakley (Nancy Kovack of Diary of a Madman), who actually does the shootin' attributed to Kenneth, as well as bad guys Rance Rodan (Don Lamond) and Trigger Mortis (Mort Mills of The Name of the Game is Kill), who make Kenneth the sheriff and the Stooges his deputies -- with the average life expectancy of about a day. The Outlaws is Coming is pretty silly stuff, geared primarily to children despite its violence and gun play, but it does have some inspired moments. There's the bit when the Stooges are forced to drink a Tarantula Fizz (Tiny Brauer is amusing as their bartender), and a clever business when the boys pour glue into the guns and holsters of all of the outlaws as they sleep, hoping to head off their own slaughter. DeRita and Fine make comical drag queens when they accidentally enter the room of some show gals instead of the outlaws. Annie Oakley has a cat fight with Calamity Jane, and Henry Gibson plays an Indian, but he isn't especially funny, no surprise there. Emil Sitka is also not funny as an Indian chief. At 88 minutes the picture is too long.

Verdict: Elvis the skunk is in this too! **.

BRIDELESS GROOM

Voice Professor Shemp Howard councils Ms. Dinklemeyer

BRIDELESS GROOM (1947). Director: Edward Bernds.

Before the Three Stooges got their television program, they made many short comedies that were shown in theaters. These were often funny and inventive and constitute the stooges' golden age. In Brideless Groom, Professor Shemp Howard is a voice coach with an impossibly shrill and awful pupil named Miss Dinkelmeyer (Dee Green), who is in love with him. He suggets that she "gargle with razor blades." It develops that Shemp will inherit half a million bucks if he gets married by six o'clock, but he ignores the nuptially-anxious Dinkelmeyer in favor of more attractive ladies who have no desire to tie the knot with him -- until they learn about the loot! Larry Fine and Moe Howard try to assist in the search for a willing bride, and there's a frenetic climax when money-hungry dames converge on the groom just before the ceremony and almost turn into literal battle-axes! The boys are in top form in this very funny 17 minute short.

Verdict: Zany antics with the stooges.

THE THREE STOOGES MEET GODZILLA

THE THREE STOOGES MEET GODZILLA (AKA Ye mokioki cono Didoshi/1967). Director: Myoski Shishuki.

Yes, in this movie the Three Stooges do indeed meet the famous movie monster Godzilla -- all 200 feet of him -- but these stooges are not the American brand but a Japanese variation. Toko Danaka, Myopi Sofoolyi, and Ernst Yakahama play the stooges and it must be said that their "humor" -- even with dubbed voices -- doesn't translate too well.The film has these three bumbling nitwits, made up to resemble our stooges, inheriting a shipping line that includes both freighters and luxury cruise ships. When there are reports of their boats being menaced by Godzilla, they set sail to find the monster, along with a curvaceous lady scientist. After much silliness in the staterooms consisting of all three "stooges" trying to romance the scientist, they arrive at an island where Godzilla somehow manages to sneak up on them. The film ends with a friendly Godzilla lifting up the stooges and carrying them off in his paw. Maybe a snack? In any case, this is simply awful.

Verdict: Neither for stooges or Godzilla fans. 1/2 *.

GOLD RAIDERS

GOLD RAIDERS (1951). Director: Edward Bernds.

Silent star and cowboy actor George O'Brien plays a character with the same name in this pretty terrible "comedy" supposedly starring the Three Stooges. Moe, Shemp and Larry are out in the wild west in the town of Red Mesa where they interact (minimally) with O'Brien; a pretty gal named Laura (Sheila Ryan); her father, who's an elderly doctor (Clem Bevans of She Couldn't Say No); and a bad guy involved in gold hijacking named Taggert (Lyle Talbot, who seems very out of place in this milieu). The Stooges are strangely subdued in this, and are completely lost in a dull story that is busy without ever being funny. There are literally no laughs in this. The stooges become insurance salesmen, but no great routines result. This is boring even for fans of the stooges. Sheila Ryan also appeared in Great Guns with Laurel and Hardy.

Verdict: Terrible. 1/2*.

HAVE ROCKET, WILL TRAVEL

HAVE ROCKET, WILL TRAVEL (1959). Director: David Lowell Rich. 

Moe, Larry and Curly Joe are employed as janitors at a scientific lab where a pretty, put-upon lady scientist Dr. Ingrid (Anna-Lisa) is threatened with expulsion by the boss (Jerome Cowan) unless she comes up with a rocket fuel that works. Determined to help her because of her kindness to them (not to mention her figure) the stooges come up with their own rocket fuel and wind up accidentally taking off for planet Venus. Amazingly, they do not encounter sexy space babes but rather a friendly talking unicorn, a giant spider (courtesy of Tarantula and Earth vs. the Spider) that shoots out heat rays, and a nasty super computer that shrinks them and creates robot duplicates. This amiable movie is full of old gags that are still funny because they're delivered by old pros. The sequences on Venus are comparatively lame, but there's funny stuff before and after, especially the party scene that closes the movie. Good sport Cowan, who was in The Old Maid and other classy pictures, is a lot of fun as well. 

Verdict: You can't keep a good stooge down. ***.

THE THREE STOOGES GO AROUND THE WORLD IN A DAZE

THE THREE STOOGES GO AROUND THE WORLD IN A DAZE (1963). Director: Norman Maurer.

The Three Stooges are the servants of the great-great-grandson of Phileas Fogg (from Verne's Around the World in 80 Days), who for some reason is called Phileas Fogg the Third instead of the Fourth. But one hardly expects logic in a Three Stooges movie. Phileas III unaccountably accepts a bet that he can go around the world in eighty days without spending a penny. The person who challenges him is a con artist, who also frames him for bank robbery. Accompanied by the stooges, Phileas (Jay Sheffield) has increasingly silly adventures in India, China, New York etc. and meets a pretty gal named Amelia (Joan Freeman). Although this will probably be best enjoyed by young children, it has to be said that the funny-looking stooges have their amusing moments. Curly Joe becomes a wrestler at one point and they do some funny masquerades from time to time. That distinctive old gent, Colin Campbell, who also appeared in The Lost World (1960), plays Willoughby, a bank officer.

Verdict: There have been worse. **.

CORNY CASANOVAS

CORNY CASANOVAS (1952). Director: Jules White.

This VHS contains three Three Stooges (Shemp, Larry, Moe) shorts, although none of them are exactly in the "classic" category. Corny Casanovas has the three fellows engaged to the same gold digger, which they don't realize until they run into each other at her apartment. A Missed Fortune (1951) has Shemp winning a $50,000 radio prize and moving in with his pals to the ritzy Costa Plente Hotel. There they encounter no less than three gold diggers. In He Cooked His Goose (1952), the best of the three shorts, Larry goes after the other guys' girls and tries to set the two against each other.

Verdict: Strictly for Three Stooges fanatics, although anything that has Cedric the Trained Clam in it can't be all bad. **.

AFRICA SCREAMS

AFRICA SCREAMS (1949). Director: Charles Barton.

Bud Abbott and Lou Costello wind up in a studio-bound "Africa" along with the real Clyde Beatty, Frank Buck, two of the famous three stooges, and the curvaceous Hillary Brooke, who is hoping that Lou can lead her to a treasure in diamonds. Unfortunately, the map that Lou has supposedly memorized from a book is actually a map that shows how to get from his house to the department store where he works. Silly comedy has some really ancient gags in it, but it's also fast-moving and fun, with some genuinely amusing sequences. One of the best has Lou locked in a cage with a lion that he thinks is Abbott in a costume. A King Kong-sized gorilla shows up at the end in another funny sequence. The boys are in good form in this one. Joe Besser. who plays the petulant Harry, was "Stinky" on their TV show and briefly joined The Three Stooges. Shemp Howard (Gunner) was also a member of the stooges.

Verdict: Fun if you're in a silly mood. **1/2.