WOLF

All smirks: Jack Nicholson

WOLF (1994). Director: Mike Nichols. 

Embattled editor Will Randall (Jack Nicholson) is bitten by a wolf in Vermont, and finds that the canine influence is changing him into a new man. Instead of meekly accepting his being (essentially) fired by new boss Raymond Alden (Christopher Plummer of Dracula 2000), Will comes up with a plan to get his job back and fire his former protege and now rival, Stewart Swinton (James Spader of Jack's Back). Stewart is stabbing Will in the back in other ways as well. After Will separates from his wife, Charlotte (Kate Nelligan), he begins a weird relationship with Alden's daughter, Laura (Michelle Pfeiffer of Cheri), but he confides in her that strange things have been happening to him. His vision and hearing have become incredibly acute, and he is afraid he is going out at night and committing violent acts. Then he learns that someone close to him has had her throat torn out ...

Michelle Pfeiffer

Director Nichols and star Nicholson collaborated on several movies, but one wishes they had skipped this one, as the two main problems with Wolf are its director and its star. By now Nicholson had almost become a glib caricature of himself, and his smirking performance in this really isn't very good -- other actors could have done so much more with this often very emotional material. (Oddly, Nicholson wanted to do this movie and signed on first, bringing in Nichols later -- why didn't he take it more seriously?) Pfeiffer is also miscast, as she doesn't get across whatever there is in her nature that would attract her to Will (aside from that canine energy raging inside him), and their romance -- if that's what you can call it -- is never for a moment believable. James Spader and Christopher Plummer give the best performances of the lead cast members.

James Spader

It's almost as if Nichols was afraid to make a "mere" horror movie, so he doesn't pull out all the stops and the film suffers because of it. He is generally not very adept at crafting action sequences. The term "werewolf" is never used, and you keep expecting someone to bring up The Wolfman, but no one ever does, even though everyone in the audience is thinking it. The sub-text, what there is of it, isn't strong enough to turn this into something that "transcends the genre," as they say. Rick Baker contributes some decent make ups, but there are no great transformation sequences as this is not -- heaven help us -- an "honest to goodness werewolf movie." If only it were. That being said, Wolf is still quite entertaining if instantly forgettable.

Verdict: Cry wolf! **3/4.                                                                                                         

MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS (2017)

Kenneth Branagh as Hercule Poirot

MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS (2017).

Traveling on the Orient Express in 1934, famous detective Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branagh) learns that a man has been murdered and is asked to investigate by his old friend Bouc (Tom Bateman), a representative of the train line. As Poirot interviews the other passengers, he slowly discovers that many of them had some connection to the victim, a man named Rachet, who was really the notorious kidnapper, Casetti (Johnny Depp). As Poirot discovers the many secrets of the numerous suspects, he finds himself with a moral dilemma. I was a bit taken aback when I first heard of this film, but I must say that I was pleasantly surprised when I finally saw it. Although he may not be quite as convincing as David Suchet or Albert Finney in the first version, Branagh is much better as the Belgian detective than anticipated. Unlike Christie's creation -- and for better or worse -- Branagh makes a more "virile" Poirot, and has him mooning over the photograph of a lost love as if to prove his heterosexuality (Poirot was never gay in any case). The movie is also superior to the 1974 version, with better performances from the supporting cast and a more serious tone. Michael Green's screenplay intelligently "opens up" the film in small ways, and the plot doesn't seem quite so far-fetched. Depp is excellent as the racketeer, and there are also notable turns from Michelle Pfieffer as Mrs. Hubbard (she is much better than Lauren Bacall in the original); Derek Jacobi as a nervous manservant; Willem Dafoe as a Pinkerton detective; and Judi Dench as the formidable Princess Dragomiroff. Of the younger players, Josh Gad makes an impression as McQueen, the dead man's secretary, as do Daisy Ridley [Star Wars Part VII] as Mary Debenham and Leslie Odom Jr. as Dr. Arbuthnot. Arbuthnot was not a black character in Christie's novel -- this film is generally faithful to it -- but that does not present a problem, except that at one point the positively drawn character seems to become quite negative. Patrick Doyle's [Thor] score lacks the suspense and tension that a mystery requires, but in the final quarter it does add some depth and somberness to the proceedings. "Never Forget," which we hear over the closing credits, is a pretty song that is very nicely warbled by Michell Pfeiffer, who proved she could sing long ago in Grease 2.

Agatha Christie was still alive when the first version of this story came out. While she admired Finney, she did not admire his mustache, which was nowhere near as "magnificent" (at least in Poirot's opinion)  as it was supposed to be. Love it or hate it, Branagh's mustache would probably have pleased Christie. This movie was absolutely hated by many people -- who thought they fiddled unnecessarily with a "masterpiece" -- but as much as I love Christie's work, I don't consider the novel to be a "masterpiece" nor the first film version, either.

Verdict: Unevenly directed perhaps, but still the best version of this venerable old story. Makes me look forward to Branagh's version of Death on the Nile. ***.

HAIRSPRAY (2007)

Mother and daughter: John Travolta and Nikki Blonsky

HAIRSPRAY (2007). Director: Adam Shankman.

"If we get any more white people in here this'll be a suburb."

Tracy Turnblad (Nikki Blonsky) manages to get on Baltimore's Corny Collins dance program where she earns the scorn of Amber Von Tussle (Brittany Snow) and her mother, Velma (Michelle Pfeiffer), who happens to be station manager. Will Tracy win the coveted Auto Show crown and integrate the Corny Collins show as well? The original Hairspray was turned into a Broadway musical, and this is less of a remake of the film as it is a screen adaptation of the stage work. Instead of classic rock songs we get some generic "Broadway" tunes, although a couple of them ["I Love You, Baltimore"] are catchy, and the black anthem "There's a Dream" is memorable. Still, this version is in virtually every way inferior to the original, lacking charm and with too heavy an approach. Water's Hairspray made its points on integration in a light, satirical way that got it across without pounding you on the head with its "message" but this Hairspray says the same things, however admirable, over and over and over again. It's like a Black Pride movie made mostly by white people; except for Queen Latifah [Mad Money], the stars are all white, too. It also has a sub-text of what you might call Fat Pride, but can't resist more than its quota of fat jokes with Tracy and her mother constantly being offered something to eat. The only performers who make any kind of impression (in the right way) are Michelle Pfeiffer [Grease 2] and Queen Latifah (wearing Ruth Ford's blond wig from the original?). As Tracy's friend Penny, Amanda Bynes is too old and too sophisticated, and the less said about John Travolta [Carrie] in drag as Edna Turnblad the better. Some members of the supporting cast are perfectly okay (James Marsden in his limited screen time as Corny Collins; Zac Efron as Link) but Jerry Stiller again fails to impress, this time in the role of Big Gal clothing shop owner, Mr. Pinky. At least Travolta and Christopher Walken (playing Mr. Turnblad) seem to be having fun with their number "You're Timeless to Me." The movie eventually becomes quite boring, which you can't say about the original.

Verdict: Some things should be left alone. **.

DARK SHADOWS (2012)

Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins

DARK SHADOWS (2012). Director: Tim Burton.

"I don't think people take meetings at the bottom of the ocean."

If you were hoping that Tim Burton's big screen retake of the old horror soap opera Dark Shadows would be another entertaining horror-dark comedy romp like Sleepy Hollow, or just entertaining like Ed Wood, be advised that Dark Shadows, unlike those two films, is a real stinker. A prologue that takes place in 1760 is promising as it details what happens when witch Angelique (Eva Green) puts a curse of vampirism on Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) because he spurned her love. The action then switches to 1971 Collinsport where Barnabas is accidentally disinterred from his grave and rejoins the family, consisting of Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer), her daughter Carolyn (Chloe Grace Moretz), Dr. Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter), the handyman Willie (Jackie Earle Haley), among others, and new arrival Victoria Winters (Bella Heathcote), who is governess to little David (Gulliver McGrath) and the spitting image of Barnabas' old love, Josette. Who cares? 

Even fans of the old show will be disappointed in this very silly updating that consists mostly of empty (if well-done) pyrotechnics. There is the occasional funny line and clever moment -- Barnabas and Angelique have disco sex and a bit with laughing portraits-come-alive -- but all that really holds this together is Bruno Delbonnel's stunning cinematography, which deserves a better script to showcase it. Depp also gives a very good performance, as do Pfeiffer, Carter and especially Eva Green [Casino Royale], but they all take a back seat to the formidable Christopher Lee in a cameo as a sea captain. (Some of the original cast members of the TV show supposedly appear in a party scene but they are impossible to spot.) This is a blatant misfire -- too bad.

Verdict: Is this Dark Shadows -- or The Munsters?" *1/2.

CHERI

CHERI (2009). Director: Stephen Frears.

"I love you -- but it's too late."

An aging courtesan named Lea (Michelle Pfeiffer) has a love-hate "friendship" with a former rival named Madame Peloux (Kathy Bates, whom one can't quite imagine would ever have made a likely courtesan) and at her urging takes Peloux' son Cheri (Rupert Friend) under her wing and into her bed. Then tries not to let it upset her when Peloux tells her that Cheri is to be married off to a girl his own age. Lea takes a new lover who bores her, and Cheri realizes that his life seems without meaning without Lea in it. Cheri is a very well-acted romantic story -- Pfeiffer and Bates are both in top form and Friend is appealing -- and the movie does have its moments as it delves into the realities of relationships between people of different generations. But all the pretty scenery, fine thesping, and some good dialogue can't quite disguise the fact that, ultimately, Cheri is a bit of fluff. Well turned out fluff, admittedly, but fluff all the same.

Verdict: Almost as insubstantial as cotton candy, but not without sweetness. ***.

GREASE 2

GREASE 2 (1982). Director: Patricia Birch.

Okay. I came back from an extended trip out of town and a friend says to me, “Come up to the Ziegfeld theater, there's a picture playing there that I really enjoyed and I want you to see.” I was shocked to find out that the film was Grease 2. “You liked that!” I said. “I didn't even like Grease. It doesn't sound like your cup of tea at all.” Nevertheless we got in a cab and went up to the Ziegfeld, and to my great surprise I liked the damn thing, too! In fact, a few days later when we couldn't find a movie we both wanted to see one of us said to the other, “Hell – let's get in a cab and go up and see Grease 2 again.” And we did.
The way this sequel to Grease was mercilessly excoriated by the critics, you would think that the original movie was Citizen Kane. In truth, Grease 2 is a very entertaining and absolutely charming musical that features an attractive cast, some snappy numbers, and a lot of zesty pop-style choreography. Yes, it's as mindless as your average Archie comic book, and it's “message” [if you can even call it that] – become “cool,” disguise your true intelligence, and everyone will like you – is obnoxious, but no one ever said this stuff was supposed to be taken seriously. Perhaps the problem for some critics was that it was directed by a woman, and a choreographer at that.
The plot is simple. London exchange student Michael Carrington (Maxwell Caulfield) comes to Rydell High and falls for “pink lady” Stephanie (Michelle Pfeiffer) who is in the midst of breaking up with the leader of the T-Birds, Johnny (Adrian Zmed). Leaning she likes dark and dangerous guys, Michael practices on a motorcycle and develops the secret identity of the “cool rider” she's been looking for. After assorted misadventures, Stephanie learns the truth, she and Michael come together, and Johnny winds up with the plump but pretty Paulette (Lorna Luft). Pfeiffer, in one of her earliest roles, gives a convincing “light” portrait of a pretty if doomed girl of the lower class, and interprets her song numbers well. Caulfield is also good as her handsome leading man – intelligent-looking enough to be convincing as an excellent student and sexy enough to work in the guise of the cool rider. He can't really sing, but he manages to get through his numbers anyway. Lorna Luft almost steals the picture as Paulette, and there are many other flavorful performances, especially Eve Arden as the principal with her priceless facial expressions. [“I'm a little worried. I missed my last two periods,” says one pretty student. To which Arden replies: “That's okay. You can make them up after school.”
The songs were contributed by a number of people, but all of them capture the feel of the period in style, although their lyrics tend to be much more clever than those of actual sixties pop songs. Tab Hunter delivers a number about “Reproduction” to his class, who join in with joyful and vulgar abandon. The dancing, such as in the excellent opening production number “Back to School Again,” sung by the Four Tops, is also sexier than the fancy footwork of the period, but who cares? The sinewy Adrian Zmed shimmies his way through “Score” and “Prowlin'” and Peter Frechette tries to bed a cute colleen even as she thinks he's only going off to war in “Do It for Your Country.” Maureen Teefy, Leif Greene, Alison Price and Christopher McDonald [the quizmaster in Quiz Show] make the most of their smaller roles. Underneath the light touch there are some recognizable character types and the script is full of funny lines and situations. The final number, "We'll Be Together," celebrates enduring friendship and love and is a genuinely nice tune as well.
Verdict: This is really not bad at all. ***.