FILMS I JUST COULDN'T FINISH ROUND 4

FILMS I JUST COULDN'T FINISH ROUND FOUR. 

As noted previously, these are not reviews, per se, but notes on films that I watched or suffered through until I just gave up on them for one reason or another. Sometimes I skipped to different sections just to get a sense of what was going on or to see if the film became more entertaining. Not all of these pictures are necessarily bad, they just didn't hold my attention. If you see one on the list that you think deserves another look, let me know.

Meet Mr. Callaghan (1954) is a British private eye movie about the murder of a wealthy man with four nephews and other suspects. The main character and lead actor are both rather irritating in their way, and the movie is full of cliches. I couldn't care less who the murderer was.

Sodom and Gomorrah (1962), which was directed by Robert Aldrich,  actually did not necessarily seem like a bad biblical spectacle of sorts, but I didn't care for the cast, which included Stewart Granger and a lot of actors whom I didn't find that interesting. This is an international co-production, not a Hollywood film, the reason why the cast is not exactly stellar. It all seemed a little tacky as well, just not something I wanted to spend another hour and a half on.

The Weekend Murders (1970) is actually a dubbed Italian film originally entitled Concerto per pistola solista. It is a take-off on an Agatha Christie-type British manor mystery with a reading of a will and (off-screen) murders occurring afterward. Comedy is provided by a Scotland Yard Inspector and a country sergeant who proves smarter than his superior. I actually watched most of this but it's rather slow and silly and eventually I just skipped to the end to find out who the killer was. The film's "composer," Franceso de Masi, has the temerity to rip off Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto # 1 for the theme music, which one hopes was deliberate. The picture has no style and is not memorable.

Innocent Bystanders (1972) is a late-entry spy saga starring Stanley Baker as an aging operative who is sent on assignment by Donald Pleasence, but isn't apprised of all of the facts. I found the "mod"-like style of the film to be off-putting, and couldn't quite get through a quarter of it.

Screamers (1979) is a dubbed Italian film with Richard Johnson and Barbara Bach hoping to get treasure that is guarded by some mutated Atlanteans who have become half man and half fish. The prologue in a cave with Cameron Mitchell and Mel Ferrer has some gory moments and appears to be added afterward. In the main story Joseph Cotten plays a scientist who wants to study the fish-men. This is slow and unrewarding and isn't really a horror film at all.

Frances (1982) stars Jessica Lange in a very heavily fictionalized version of the life of actress Frances Farmer based on a biography that was later largely discredited. I didn't just turn this off after a time because I knew I wasn't going to get the real story -- Sam Shepard saunters through the movie and narrates even though his character never actually existed -- but the dramatic license at times becomes ludicrous, illogical and even outlandish. For the record Farmer was never lobotomized as this film depicts!

The Human Stain (2003) didn't hold my attention even though it actually has some interesting aspects in this study of an academic (Anthony Hopkins and Wentworth Miller in different time periods) who has hid the fact that he's African-American for virtually all of his adult life. (Ironically, he quits his job when he's accused of racism.) Based on a novel by Philip Roth (The Humbling) we have yet another old man in an improbable relationship with a much younger woman (Nicole Kidman). Both Hopkins and Kidman are miscast, and the film meanders a little too much, although Miller (bi-racial in real life) gives a very good performance.

Masks (2011) is a German-language version of an Italian giallo film, or at least that's what its proponents say it is. About a young lady who comes to study at a strange acting school, the movie is slow and dull despite the occasional bloody sword attack. Comparing it to the (best) work of Dario Argento is ridiculous. This had trouble holding my attention for more than a third.

Camp Dread (2014) is a pretty terrible film about a down-on-his-luck horror film maker (the down-on-his-luck Eric Roberts) who concocts a scheme to use troubled youths on a reality show that will ultimately turn into something like one of his horror movies. Then the youths begin getting killed. The film hasn't a dollop of atmosphere and some of the actors are amateurish to boot. Not compelling nor well-made enough to keep watching.

Suspiria (2018) is a remake of a much better film by Dario Argento centering on a coven of witches in a dance studio. The remake takes place in post WW2 Berlin, and in an attempt to add some depth and pathos to the story, drags in the events of the holocaust. The movie is long but the real problem is that it just didn't grip me or pull me into the story the way that Argento did. If they had stuck to making a simple and effective horror film this might have amounted to something. Tilda Swinton is quite good -- amazing, in fact -- in a dual role. I got about halfway through this and then peeked at subsequent sequences, some of which seemed so silly as to be laughable. Jessica Harper, the lead in the original Suspiria, has a cameo role.

Book Club (2018) has four friends -- Jane Fonda, Diane Keaton, Candice Bergen and Mary Steenburgen -- reading "Fifty Shades of Gray" for their book club and having assorted misadventures with men. Okay, for awhile this was cute, but it seemed too much like an extended ad for "Fifty Shades" (I wouldn't be surprised if the book's publisher is a division of the production company.) Too much like a sitcom, the humor is of the variety of friends getting together and making jokes about sex, the same stuff you can hear in any bar. This wasn't terrible, it just didn't hold my interest for more than half an hour. I was surprised that for a film supposedly against age discrimination, it portrays the very elderly in the same disdainful light as everything else.

Other films that failed to grip me: Hootenanny a-Go-Go; A Swingin; Summer; Gidget Goes to Rome; Every Day's a Holiday with Freddie and the Dreamers; Tough Kid; Racing Blood with Frankie Darro; Juvenile Court with Rita Hayworth; Wild Racers with Fabian; Promises, Promises with Jayne Mansfield, Maid for Murder; Hollywood Dreams; This Man is Dangerous; Adventures of a Private Eye; A Yank in Ermine; Badge of Honor with Buster Crabbe; Girl Loves Boy with Eric Linden; the eurospy flick 13 Days to Die; Doorway to Suspicion; Tale of Five Cities/Women starring Bonar Colleano; The Final Countdown with Kirk Douglas in bangs; and Master Stroke, a caper movie. 

THOR: RAGNAROK

Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston

THOR: RAGNAROK (2017). Director: Taika Waititi.

"Asgard is not a place -- it's a people."

Thor (Chris Hemsworth) manages to defeat the fire demon, Surtur and his impressive dragon, but then learns that he has to take on his sister, Hela (Cate Blanchett), who happens to be the Goddess of Death! (In the early Thor comic books Thor and Hela were not related). But while Hela is wreaking havoc on Asgard, Thor is imprisoned on a strange planet ruled by a weird character named the Grandmaster (Jeff Goldblum), who pits Thor against his special champion in an arena -- the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo)! Will Thor be able to convince his fellow Avenger, as well as his untrustworthy brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and a fierce Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) to escape the Grandmaster and rescue Asgard from Hela? What do you think? Marvel's Guardians of the Galaxy was a huge and unexpected hit, and it was played mostly for laughs, so it was decided to try the flippant, almost campy approach with this latest installment of the Thor series (following Thor and Thor: Dark World). As much as I may lament this approach in most instances, the fact remains that Thor: Ragnarok is better and much more entertaining than the previous Thor films. Although the characters perhaps dally too long on the Grandmaster's planet, the film is fast-paced, colorful, full of some amazing FX (including a gargantuan canine) and well-done action scenes, and features some amusing and lively performances. Hemsworth and Hiddleston make good, somewhat friendly brothers and adversaries, Goldblum is fine as a campy version of an old Marvel cosmic character; and Blanchett [Blue Jasmine] basically steals the movie with her stylish and impressive turn as the dark goddess Hela. There is also nice work from Anthony Hopkins as Odin; Benedict Cumberbatch as Dr. Strange; Karl Urban as Skurge; and Idris Elba as Heimdall. The art direction is striking, as is Javier Aguirresarobe's cinematography; and Mark Mothersbaugh's music is effectively "grandiose" when required. NOTE: To read about the comic book adventures of Thor see The Silver Age of Comics.

Verdict; Too silly and flip perhaps but undeniably well-made, good to look at, and exciting. ***.

ALL THE KING'S MEN (2006)

Sean Penn

ALL THE KING'S MEN (2006). Director: Steven Zaillian.

Willie Stark (Sean Penn) rises up from the Louisianan swamps to the governor's mansion, accompanied by reporter and associate Jack Burden (Jude Law). Jack has a father figure in Judge Irwin (Anthony Hopkins), and has long carried a torch for Anne Stanton (Kate Winslet), whose brother, Adam (Mark Ruffalo) is wooed by Stark for an important medical position. But then Jack helps Willie get information that the latter uses to blackmail the judge ... This remake of the 1949 All the King's Men is inferior in every way. Sean Penn [Mystic River] plays with his customary dynamism, but his gesticulating in certain sequences borders on the ludicrous and his southern accent is so thick that there are times you can hardly understand him. While Jude Law [Black Sea]  has his moments, through most of the movie you get the impression that he just wants to go off somewhere and get a good night's sleep. The father-son dynamic between the two men is lost because Penn and Law look around the same age, although Penn is the older by twelve years. Events that are played up in the original movie are so downplayed in the remake that it's as if they never happened. We hardly see Stark's wife, his son has been written out of the movie altogether (eliminating a development that was a key plot point in the original) , and Mercedes McCambridge's character in the original, now played by Patricia Clarkson [Far From Heaven], is practically reduced to a walk-on. Jackie Earle Haley is scary in every sense of the word. Badly directed (despite some pseudo-artistic touches), and with a poor script, as well as a cast that has done much better work in other films, All the King's Men is a tedious misfire.

Verdict: Stick with the original. **.

MISCONDUCT

Josh Duhamel and Alice Eve

MISCONDUCT (2016). Director: Shintaro Shimosawa.

New Orleans lawyer Ben Cahill (Josh Duhamel), feeling neglected by his busy nurse wife, Charlotte (Alice Eve of She's Out of My League), makes a date with an ex-girlfriend named Emily (Malin Akerman). Emily is the lover of possessive pharmaceutical giant Arthur Denning (Anthony Hopkins), who fiddled with the lab results of his drug Vypraxilin to get around the FDA, resulting in hundreds of deaths. Emily gives Ben confidential information that can help his firm win a major lawsuit against Denning; Ben's boss, Charles Abrahms (Al Pacino), agrees to go along with it. But, of course, there are major complications as well, including murder, and a handsome, dying Asian-American hit man (Byung-hun Lee of G. I. Joe: Retaliation) who shows up now and then ... Misconduct is aptly named, although there are many who will argue that it is the filmmakers who are guilty of same. The movie isn't dull, and it has a few interesting plot twists, but it becomes increasingly ridiculous as it goes along, and the ending probably had most people in the audience going "what the f--k?" There are some mildly clever ideas in the screenplay, but they are not well-executed, and the movie throws so many disparate scenes at the viewer that most people watching the flick will only be irritated and confused. Even when the damn thing is over there are still loose ends. (For instance, did the hit man take Vypraxilin  himself?)  This is the "Al Pacino" movie that notoriously made only $150 in the UK, but both he and Hopkins have just supporting roles. [One would think they would have called this an "Anthony Hopkins" movie in England, but despite Silence of the Lambs, Hopkins was never quite as big a star as Pacino.] Pacino is in his southern jive talk mode, which doesn't really work for his character, and his accent, as usual, comes and goes. Hopkins makes a better impression as his opponent and easily steals the movie. Josh Duhamel is quite effective in the lead role, although he may be way too calm in certain sequences. Malin Akerman makes an impression as the provocative Emily, but Alice Eve's every line and look seems heavily coached by the director, and she is generally unconvincing. Julia Stiles [The Omen] is much better as a private eye hired by Denning when his girlfriend is allegedly kidnapped. The final twist in this was already used in a well-known novel/movie of a few years ago in which it was equally predictable.

NOTE: For more about Al Pacino and his films, good and bad, see Al Pacino: In Films and On Stage by yours truly.

Verdict: Coherency is not this film's strong point. Maybe if it were a French film with sub-titles? **.

THOR: THE DARK WORLD

Thor (Chris Hemsworth)  and Loki (Tom Hiddleston)  join forces

THOR: THE DARK WORLD (2013). Director: Alan Taylor.

"She no more belongs in Asgard than a goat does at a table" -- Odin, referring to Jane Foster

In this sequel to Thor, a malcontent named Malekith and his friends return to life and want to take over the universe -- or something like that. Thor (Chris Hemsworth) again disobeys his father, Odin (Anthony Hopkins), and temporarily joins forces with his brother, Loki (Tom Hiddleston) to take on the bad guys, but Loki always has a trick up his sleeve. There's little point in discussing the [lack of] plot as the film boasts some impressive scenic design and special effects and little else. As with the first film, Hiddleston and Hopkins offer the best performances -- Hemsworth has his moments as well --  and some of the comparatively minor characters from Thor are also back. It's one thing to have girlfriend Jane Foster (Natalie Portman of Black Swan) on board, but why do we need Dr. Selvig (Stellan Skarsgard, who doesn't even seem to be acting) and especially the annoying, collagen-lipped Darcy (Kat Dennings) -- they add absolutely nothing to the movie except pad the running time. With all of the fascinating villains that have appeared in Thor comic books for the past several decades, Malekith -- who comes off like nothing so much as a Star Trek reject -- is the least interesting they could have come up with. Rene Russo makes a good impression as Thor's mother, Frigga, and again Hiddleston almost walks off with the movie as Loki. There are only a couple of effective action scenes, most of which are not handled with any real panache, and the photography is often cluttered and unattractive.

Verdict: Read a stack of old Thor comics by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby instead. **.

FRACTURE

Conference: Billy Burke and Ryan Gosling

FRACTURE (2007). Director: Gregory Hoblit.

At the opening of Fracture Ted Crawford (Anthony Hopkins of Thor) fires a bullet into the brain of his philandering wife. As she lies in the hospital in a coma, prosecutor Willy Beachum (Ryan Gosling) is perhaps more preoccupied with leaving the D.A's office for his cushy new job than he is with his last assignment. Crawford decides to represent himself, and things get especially complicated when it is revealed in the courtroom that the arresting officer, Lt. Nunally (Billy Burke), was the man having an affair with Crawford's wife [the audience also knows this from the first]. Beachum realizes that he has to up his game and pay more attention if he's going to put Crawford away for attempted murder. Fracture is one of those tricky suspense films that has some vaguely clever things going on but doesn't really add much to the genre. Hopkins is excellent, but the odd Gosling is exactly the same in the second half as he is in the first, and seems like an actor who should stick to after-school specials. Burke is okay, and Rosamund Pike [Jack Reacher] makes a good impression as Nikki, a pretty lady who works for the firm that Willy hopes to work for. The characters in this are all one-dimensional.

Verdict: Minor-league "thriller" with few thrills. **.

HITCHCOCK (2012)

Hitchcock (Hopkins) and Leigh (Johansson) share a ride and a laugh

HITCHCOCK (2012). Director: Sacha Gervasi.

"I was filming all day with John Gavin. Plywood is more expressive!" -- Hitchcock supposedly talking about actor John Gavin

If you take it with a grain of salt, this is an interesting and entertaining look at Alfred Hitchcock during the days when he was making Psycho, detailing the skepticism with which the project was greeted by the studio and others, showing how he cast the film and got along with the people he made it with. Did Hitch really peep at Vera Miles (Jessica Biel) while she was undressing? Probably not, but Hitchcock takes certain, shall we say, dramatic liberties. Anthony Hopkins is really nothing like Hitch, but his performance is still good, and Helen Mirren is excellent as his wife and collaborator, Alma, who seems very drawn to a novelist (Danny Huston) who is working on a screenplay with her. The best scene has Alma telling off Hitchcock in blunt if loving fashion late in the movie. Scarlet Johansson makes an effective and personable Janet Leigh. James D'Arcy gets little to do as Anthony Perkins, but the private lives of the actors in Psycho generally go unexplored and some -- such as Martin Balsam and John Gavin -- barely appear at all. The relationship between Alfred and Alma is depicted primarily as a loving and professional friendship. Hitchcock barely touches on the outrage and disgust that the film engendered in many quarters when it was released. The film is good-looking and well-paced.

Verdict: If you don't take it seriously as biography, this is a nice picture all told. ***.

THE BOUNTY

Mel Gibson and Anthony Hopkins

THE BOUNTY (1984). Director: Roger Donaldson.

Although it is based on the same real-life events as the 1935 Mutiny on the Bounty, this version is in some ways a very different animal. The picture begins with Bligh's trial and then flashes back to the story of the mutiny. Unlike Charles Laughton's portrayal in the original film, this film's Bligh, as played by Anthony Hopkins, has a great deal of charm, and hardly comes off like the utterly cruel martinet essayed by Laughton-- in fact, we see no particular "cruelties" at all until the second half when they seem more like the rough justice of the period. On the trip to Tahiti, Bligh risks the ship and its crew in his bid to circumnavigate the globe and go through the stormy seas of Cape Horn. His decision to try again on the trip back is one of the things that leads to the mutiny [although this is not supposed to be historically accurate]. The book this is based on, Captain Bligh and Mr. Christian, posits the completely unsubstantiated if fascinating theory that Bligh and Christian had been lovers, and the former objected to the latter's impregnating and marrying a Tahitian lass, but while a few scenes barely hint at this it goes unexplored [probably to the disappointment --or relief -- of the homophobic Gibson]. Hopkins is quite good, but he can't compare to the more ferocious and mesmerizing Laughton. Gibson is okay, although one could argue that he displays sullen looks that pass for acting; he has his moments, though. Edward Fox, Laurence Olivier, Daniel Day-Lewis, and especially Liam Neeson are notable in the supporting cast. The film is beautifully photographed by Arthur Ibbetson; Vangelis' plastic musical background is occasionally pleasant but far from a score by Steiner, Korngold or the like.

Verdict: Good to look at and reasonably entertaining. ***.

THOR

THOR (2011). Director: Kenneth Branagh.

When Thor (Chris Hemsworth), the God of Thunder, disobeys his father Odin (Anthony Hopkins), the latter strips him of his powers and hammer and banishes him to Earth, where in a self-sacrificing moment he eventually regains his power -- alas, too late to save this surprisingly dull movie. Inspired by an excellent comic book series created by writer Stan Lee and artist Jack Kirby back in the sixties, the movie certainly has a wealth of history and great stories to draw upon, and it does make use of some of the mythos, such as the rivalry between Thor and his brother, Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and the menace of the robotic Destroyer. Unfortunately, Branagh is absolutely the wrong director for this film, betraying absolutely no flair for well-crafted action scenes, which tend to be just as tedious as the rest of the movie. The kingdom of Asgard is only mildly impressive, the producers eschewing the Kirby-esque grandeur of the comic book, although the rainbow bridge is an attractive sight, and the climax that takes place on it is comparatively exciting. Hemsworth is okay, but he takes a back seat to Hopkins and Hiddleston. Natalie Portman is so blah as Jane Foster that it's hard to realize that she's the same Oscar-winning actress from The Black Swan; she does nothing for Thor and the film does nothing for her. But at least she's not as bad as her silly associate with thick collagen lips who is presumably comedy relief but is only even more irritating than Jane. Patrick Doyle's music does most of the work in drumming up any suspense or excitement.

Verdict: Slow and unmemorable on virtually all levels. **.

THE WOLFMAN (2010)

THE WOLFMAN (2010). Director: Joe Johnston.

Lawrence Talbot (Benicio Del Toro), an acclaimed stage actor, comes back to his ancestral home of Blackmoor and gets caught up in a nightmare when he's bitten by a werewolf and begins to transform into a flesh-tearing monster at night. This is a credible remake of the 1941 original, handsomely produced, fast-paced, and with a good lead performance from Del Toro. Danny Elfman's musical score and Shelly Johnson's cinematography are definite assets as well. The best scene has Talbot transforming in front of everyone in an operating theater in an asylum. Anthony Hopkins gives a somewhat odd performance as Talbot Sr., possibly because the character [literally] has been changed a great deal from Claude Rains' superb portrayal in the original.

Verdict: The movie is fun. ***.

THE LION IN WINTER

THE LION IN WINTER (1968). Director: Anthony Harvey.

"To be a prisoner -- to be bricked in -- when you've known the world!"

Film version of the play by James Goldman, who also did the screenplay. At Christmas in 1183 A.D. King Henry II (Peter O'Toole) bemoans the fact that his three sons would prefer him dead and to rule in his stead, and lets his estranged wife, Eleanor of Aquitaine (Katharine Hepburn), out of imprisonment for the holidays. There follows a lot of plotting to force the King to choose one son over another as his successor. Although there are interesting moments in the movie, it basically reduces history to soap opera, with these famous characters acting in a very contemporary fashion and just being bitchy to one another. Some of the dialogue is quite bad. Hepburn won an Oscar, but she's miscast -- this stuff is just not her cup of java. Of the other cast members, Timothy Dalton comes off best as King Philip of France, who had an early dalliance with Henry's son Richard (Anthony Hopkins). One suspects that this consists more of moments of "dramatic license" than anything else.

Verdict: A supposedly historical Dynasty minus Joan Collins. **.

HERE'S THE NEW WOLF MAN

BOO!

Benicio Del Toro plays Lawrence Talbot -- the role originally essayed by Lon Chaney (Jr.) in the original The Wolf Man (1941) -- and Anthony Hopkins plays Sir John Talbot in this remake due out in 2009 and directed by Joe Johnston. Special Makeup Effects are by Rick Baker.

Looks like a pretty scary fellow, eh?