APPOINTMENT WITH DEATH

Carrie Fisher and Nicholas Guest

APPOINTMENT WITH DEATH (1988). Producer/director: Michael Winner

In 1937 Emily Boynton (Piper Laurie), a former prison wardress, rules over her family after her husband's death with an iron fist. The American family consists of two attractive stepdaughters, Carol (Valerie Richards) and Ginevra (Amber Bezer), and two strikingly good-looking stepsons, Raymond (John Terlesky), who is single, and Lennox (Nicholas Guest), who is married to Nadine (Carrie Fisher). Vacationing in the Holy Land with the rest of his family, Raymond finds himself attracted to Dr. Sarah King (Jenny Seagrove), who is appalled by the domineering behavior of his stepmother. Then there's a murder, and Hercule Poirot (Peter Ustinov) is conveniently on the scene to  ferret out the killer  ... Appointment with Death is a mediocre adaptation of one of Agatha Christie's best murder mysteries, though the film does boast some interesting settings and decent performances. Piper Laurie [Dario Argento's Trauma] is probably the cast standout, and we've also got Lauren Bacall in a superficial turn as Lady Westholme; Sir John Gielgud wasted as an elderly colonel; Michael Craig barely putting in an appearance as Lord Peel; Hayley Mills [The Family Way] fine as a traveling companion of Lady Westholme's; and David Soul [The Disappearance of Flight 412] effective enough as Jefferson Cope, the family lawyer with a shady past. More or less faithful to the novel, the screenwriters invent some stuff but director Winner fails to give the film very much suspense. Ustinov's performance is too fussy by far.

Verdict: Okay, but stick with the book if you love Christie. **1/2.

THE WICKED LADY

 Faye Dunaway having a Horrible Hair Day

THE WICKED LADY (1983). Director: Michael Winner.

In this remake of The Wicked Lady, Caroline (Glynis Barber) is about to marry the wealthy Sir Ralph Skelton (Denholm Elliott), when along comes her cousin Barbara (Faye Dunaway) who steals away Skelton, marries him, and retains poor Caroline as her domestic. When Barbara loses a treasured heirloom in a card game to witchy sister-in-law Lady Kinsclere (Prunella Scales), she decides to disguise herself as a highwayman and steal the jewelry back. Barbara realizes that she finds great excitement as a robber and decides to continue her career, meeting up with the notorious Jerry Jackson (Alan Bates) ... This is not quite a black comedy version of the original, but it does border on the burlesque, especially with the portrayal of Dunaway during one part of her campaign to come off like a drag queen having a Hideous Hair Day. There is no subtlety whatsoever to Dunaway's performance, but then no one comes off that well under Michael Winner's direction, despite some of the noted players. Barber makes little impression as Caroline, and even the great John Gielgud as the pious servant Hogarth can't hold a candle to Felix Aylmer in the original. It's hard to believe that Caroline would prefer Ralph as portrayed by Elliott over Kit Locksby (Oliver Tobias). That being said, The Wicked Lady retains its great story and those who are unfamiliar with the Margaret Lockwood-James Mason version may at least find it entertaining. This is almost a scene-by-scene remake but it adds a kinky, gratuitous cat fight between Barbara and Jackson's girlfriend (Marina Sirtis), with the former taking a whip to the latter's naked breasts at a public hanging. Alan Bates [Georgy Girl] does what he can with the Jackson role, but he hasn't that perfect style of Mason. Dunaway is almost photographed as badly in this as she was in The Eyes of Laura Mars.

Verdict: Unless you like seeing bare breasts being whipped, skip this and stick with the far superior original. **1/2 out of 4.