DARIO ARGENTO'S DRACULA

Thomas Kretschmann as Dracula

DRACULA (aka Dario Argento's Dracula and Dracula 3D/2012). Director: Dario Argento.

Jonathan Harker (Unax Ugalde) arrives in the town of Hapsburg to do work for Count Dracula (Thomas Kretschmann), who has a sinister reputation. Waiting for his wife, Mina (Marta Gastini), to join him, Harker renews his friendship with Lucy (Asia Argento), who begins withering from the attacks on her by Dracula. Apparently Dracula is primarily interested in Mina, whom he believes to be a reincarnation of his wife, who died 400 years earlier. Will Van Helsing (Rutger Hauer) be able to save her from the fatal "love" of the vampire? Argento's version of Dracula seems to take its cue from the earlier Dan Curtis telefilm (and other versions), adding an unconvincing pseudo-romantic subplot that barely amounts to anything. The film's main strength is Kretshmann's excellent portrayal of the undead count -- attractive and compelling he makes the best Dracula since Christopher Lee. If only Argento's picture had the entertainment value of the best of the Hammer Dracula films. There is one striking scene when Dracula forms from a swarm of bees then rapidly dispatches several men who are conspiring against him -- naturally this has its share of gore a la Argento -- but otherwise the film is relatively lethargic and minor, with no real justification for yet another version of the story. The other actors all give good performances for the most part, although a fatigued Hauer seems rather uninterested in the proceedings. The picture is not especially scary, but there are some good FX, including a giant preying mantis that seems dragged in as an extra added attraction. This version takes place entirely in Hungary. The following year Kretschmann played Van Helsing -- not Dracula -- in the TV series, Dracula.

Verdict: Paging Peter Cushing. **.

MOTHER OF TEARS

MOTHER OF TEARS (aka La terza madre/2007). Director: Dario Argento.

"The city is 2700 years old, and we are standing on five layers of graves."

There was twenty-seven years between Inferno, the second of Argento's Three Mothers trilogy, and the third and final installment, Mother of Tears -- it wasn't worth the wait. The problem begins when certain artifacts are removed from a chest that is consistently referred to as an "urn" and immediately weird things begin happening. Sarah Mandy (Asia Argento), the daughter of a woman killed by another witch in Suspiria (the first part), discovers that her mother's spirit (Daria Nicolodi) is protecting her when the Mother of Tears reawakens and throws all Rome into chaos -- witches from all over the world are descending upon the city and there are many more murders and suicides. Some of these witches seem like "mean girls" with attitude, while the head mother, supposedly the embodiment of evil, looks like a sleazy hostess in a topless bar. Mother of Tears could have been a great and exciting horror film, but instead it's an often silly and mindless gorefest for the "gore geeks" in the audience. Some of Argento's better movies are less offensive because there's an intriguing storyline and some inventive directorial touches to go along with the graphic mayhem, but that isn't the case with Mother. Some of the gore is so over the top that it becomes almost comically unrealistic. We have the woman strangled with her own intestines, and in a mind-numbingly offensive and sick scene a gay woman has a metal rod thrust into her vagina and out of her mouth. Again, because of the lack of other positive attributes, Argento's sickening violence against women appears positively misogynous [although, to be fair, there are male victims as well]. There are a couple of interesting scenes: people pursuing Sarah can't see her due to her mother's spell; and those too-clean-but-creepy catacombs that are the lair of the bitchy witches. The Omen-like musical score only reminds one that the three Omen movies made up a much slicker and more memorable trilogy. It's as if Argento, desperate to expand a youthful audience, decided to concentrate on grisliness and to hell with the script. The performances of the leads -- Argento's daughter Asia, and Adam James as her boyfriend, Michael -- border on the amateurish, although Ms. Argento has her moments.

Verdict: Sad actually. *1/2.