AUTOPSY

Mimsy Farmer and Barry Primus

AUTOPSY (aka Macchie solari/1975). Director/co-writer: Armando Crispino.

A doctor named Simona (Mimsy Farmer of Four Flies on Grey Velvet) works in a morgue in Rome. She encounters a woman named Betty (Gaby Wagner), who is apparently involved with Simona's playboy father, Gianni (Massimo Serato of Constantine and the Cross). When Betty is found murdered -- with the unknown killer trying to make it look like a suicide -- Betty's brother, Paul (Barry Primus), a former race car driver who is now a priest, shows up and winds up investigating this and other murders with Simona. Neither the priest nor Simona seem too tightly wrapped, however, with the former given to sudden rages and the latter developing a hankering for the priest (!) even though she has a sexy boyfriend named Riccardo (Ray Lovelock). Despite its title, Autopsy is not as bloody as other Italian horror-mysteries of the period, but it could be considered a nominal giallo film. The movie is absorbing and fast-paced for the most part but it bogs down in the final quarter, with a dragged-out finale, although there is an exciting rooftop confrontation at the very end. Crispino also directed the equally weird The Dead Are Alive, but Autopsy is somewhat better.

Verdict: At least there's the Roman scenery. **1/2.

THE FILMS OF GENE KELLY

THE FILMS OF GENE KELLY: Song and Dance Man. Tony Thomas. Introduction by Fred Astaire. Citadel Press; 1974.

This heavily illustrated tome is an excellent introduction to and authoritative dissection of the career of the man who was best known as a dancer, but who also made his mark with dramatic performances and as a film director of note. Kelly had a different style than that of his "rival," Astaire, one that might be described as more athletic, but both men were tops in their profession. Thomas delves into Kelly's musicals, such as Anchors Aweigh, Brigadoon, and Living in a Big Way; his "straight" performances in non-musicals such as The Black Hand, Christmas Holiday, and Inherit the Wind (in which he was excellent); and his hit-or-miss directorial assignments such as Gigot with Jackie Gleason, A Guide for the Married Man, and Hello Dolly with Barbra Streisand. Along the way we get Kelly's impressions of each film as well as behind-the-scenes details, and lots and lots of photographs. Although I was never an especially big admirer of Kelly's, this book made me look at him differently. Kelly originally made his mark starring in Rodgers and Hart's Pal Joey on Broadway -- much better casting than Frank Sinatra in the film version -- and it could be argued that he was one of those lucky people who got better-looking as they got older. Also included are Kelly's interesting remarks about gay dancers.

Verdict: Top-notch, informative, and intelligent look at the career of a great hoofer. ***1/2.

MY FAVORITE BLONDE

Gale Sondergaard and Bob Hope

MY FAVORITE BLONDE (1942). Director: Sidney Lanfield.

Larry Haines (Bob Hope) has an act with a trained penguin named Percy. Larry is about to make his way out to Hollywood from New York -- Percy has gotten a movie contract, but not Larry -- when he encounters a blonde named Karen (Madeleine Carroll of The Prisoner of Zenda), who is secretly a British agent. With the unwitting aid of Larry, Karen tries to keep herself and a scorpion-shaped pin containing secret information, out of the clutches of nasty spies Madame Runick (Gale Sondergaard) and Dr. Streger (George Zucco of Fog Island). Meanwhile Larry and Karen are off on a cross-country chase, trying to get safely to Las Angeles where they can give the pin to a military contact. Along the way they get involved with an Irish picnic and some stubborn Irishmen, encounter Bing Crosby in his first cameo in a Hope film, wind up at a lecture for a baby doctor impersonated by Larry, and confront Carl "Alfalfa" Switzer at his most obnoxious. My Favorite Blonde begins rather grimly with the murder of more than one agent, but it is also consistently amusing, has some great and funny sequences, and Hope and Carroll -- who at first seem an odd team -- are both excellent and play extremely well together. Percy is adorable, but Sondergaard [The Cat Creature] and Zucco, although wonderful, don't get nearly enough to do. There are a host of fine and funny character actors in this as well. A top-notch comedy-thriller. Among the many great scenes in this picture is one in which Sondergaard, Zucco and their henchmen get in a staring contest with Hope!

Verdict: One of Hope's best and most entertaining movies with the comic in fine form. ***1/2.

MR. SCOUTMASTER

Scene-stealers: George "Foghorn" Winslow and Clifton Webb

MR. SCOUTMASTER (aka Mister Scoutmaster/1953). Director: Henry Levin.

Robert Jordan (Clifton Webb) has an intellectual TV show, but the ratings are dropping because it doesn't appeal to children. Jordan decides to correct this by getting to know the little darlings, and when the old scoutmaster flees, he takes over the man's position. At first the boy scouts are mightily unimpressed by Jordan, but he does manage to bond -- sort of -- with the littlest cub scout, Mike (George "Foghorn" Winslow), an adorable kid who doesn't quite have the propensity for telling the truth. As Jordan's lovely wife Helen (Frances Dee) begins falling in love with Mike, Jordan discovers the rather dismal reality of the youngster's home life, but can't get past the fact that he was lied to. Will his much, much wiser and warmer wife be able to break through her husband's stony reserve and get him to admit his feelings for the child? Mr. Scoutmaster boasts several fine performances, from the always-excellent Webb, the delightfully deadpan Winslow, the warm and winning Dee [So Ends Our Night], and Edmund Gwenn [Them] as Dr. Stone, as well as a host of talented youngsters. Veda Ann Borg also scores as little Mike's slattern of an aunt. This is a cute and funny picture, but I have to say. softie that I am, that it also gave me a lump in my throat. Webb and Gwenn also appeared together in For Heaven's Sake.

Verdict: Sentimental, moving, and amusing in equal measure. ***.

SOME ENCHANTED EVENINGS

SOME ENCHANTED EVENINGS: The Glittering Life and Times of MARY MARTIN. David Kaufman. St. Martin's; 2016.

Mary Martin went to Hollywood early in her career, but although she appeared and even starred in a few movies, she was dissatisfied with her film work and had much greater success on Broadway. Like many artists, this very talented woman lived for her work, and had a problematic, but ultimately loving, relationship with at least one child, her son Larry Hagman, famous as "J. R" on Dallas. Martin's marriage to her son's father did not last long, but she had a much longer union to her second husband, the mostly gay Richard Halliday, who guided her career when he wasn't alienating people with his temper and his alcoholism. Her shows included One Touch of Venus, South Pacific, Peter Pan, The Sound of Music, and for my money made the best Annie Oakley when she did Annie Get Your Gun on the road and for television. Some Enchanted Evenings also looks at Martin's work in less successful shows, such as the musical Jennie, and the play Legends, in which Martin was teamed with Carol Channing. The book hints at a "special relationship" between Martin and Janet Gaynor (Gaynor's husband, interestingly enough, is the only person quoted in the book who knocks Martin), as well as Jean Arthur, without ever really elaborating.When a reporter spoke to Martin about Larry Hagman, and asked what it's like having an icon for a son, she responded, "My dear, my son is a star. I am an icon." Although the author mentions his husband in the acknowledgments, the book does on occasion betray a kind of amusingly old-fashioned take on LGBT issues.

Verdict: Exhaustive, well-researched, imperfect, but very readable bio of the venerable entertainer. ***1/2.

DOUBLE JEOPARDY

Robert Armstrong and Gale Robbins

DOUBLE JEOPARDY (1955). Director: R. G. Springsteen.

Marge (Gale Robbins of Three Little Words) is married to the drunken Sam Baggott (Robert Armstrong), who has trouble coming up with the rent money. Marge gets some comfort from the handsome used car salesman, Jeff (Jack Kelly), and when they discover Sam is getting blackmail payoffs, figure they should get themselves some of the loot. Sam's victim is wealthy Emmett Devery (John Litel), whose daughter, Barbara (Allison Hayes), is dating attorney Mark Hill (Rod Cameron) and who can sense something's up with her father. Then somebody dies ... Double Jeopardy is well-acted for the most part, especially by Armstrong [Sky Raiders] and Litel, and Hayes offers a lovely and sympathetic portrayal for a change, but Robbins is just a bit superficial as the femme fatale and Cameron is as stiff as a board. Minerva Urecal [Who's Guilty?] adds some spice in her portrayal of a disapproving landlady. There are a couple of tense sequences but the script lets the audience down in the long run. There's some suspense but no surprises. From Republic studios.

Verdict: Armstrong steals the show. **1/2.

DRAGSTRIP RIOT

Gary Clarke and Fay Wray

DRAGSTRIP RIOT (1958). Director: David Bradley.

Rick Martin (Gary Clarke) was once in trouble with the law and his mother (Fay Wray!) and grandfather (Ted Wedderspoon) are forever afraid he'll do something stupid. Rick innocently ignites the ire of Bart Thorson (Bob Turnbull) because the latter covets the former's girlfriend, Janet (Yvonne Lime of I Was a Teenage Werewolf). To get even with Rick, Bart falls in with a motorcycle gang of toughs who also have a grudge against Rick, leading to a dangerous game of chicken involving two cars and an onrushing train; a death dive off a cliff; and a free-for-all rumble on the beach where the true bad guys are finally routed. None of this is as exciting as it sounds due to a slow pace -- even a race is kind of dull. Affecting a Jean Harlow  "platinum blond" hair color, Clarke makes a sensitive enough hero; Wray, light-years from King Kong, is fine as his mother; and there are more than acceptable performances from Turnbull, Lime, John Garwood as Silva, leader of the gang, and others. Connie Stevens [Hawaiian Eye] plays Marge, one of Janet's pals, who gets in a "cat fight" with Silva's brunette moll at one point; and Steve Inhat is cast as "Dutch," another biker, but is given little to do; he was also in Date Bait with Clarke. Connie also sings a song and there's another musical number as well. In one unintentionally hilarious scene, Rick looks around the beach for Janet as if she's nowhere in sight when a subsequent shot shows her not only just a few yards away but screaming her head off! It's equally humorous that the rumble, which supposedly takes place in an isolated spot, turns out to be happening right near the kids' hot spot, "Mom's."

Verdict: Slightly more entertaining than watching paint dry. *1/2.

NEW AND RECENT HORROR FILMS OF INTEREST

Tom Cruise and Annabelle Wallis in the lousy Mummy

Here is a round-up of some new and fairly recent films in the horror genre:

The Ruins (2008). Director: Carter Smith. Young tourists in Mexico go to a Mayan temple lost in the jungle and discover that they won't be allowed to leave, as they are apparently meant to be sacrifices to weird vines that can penetrate their flesh. Gruesome and harrowing, this plays like a story out of an EC horror comic. The cast is comprised of first-rate young actors, with an especially good performance from Laura Ramsey. Well-made and chilling. The alternate ending on the DVD works better than the one shown in theaters. ***.

Pandorum (2009). Director: Christian Alvart. Two men wake up seemingly alone on a spaceship with much of their memory missing. Before you can say Aliens or Predator, some albino, flesh-eating monsters show up along with a tough Ellen Ripley-type who helps the crewmen against the creatures. There are some interesting ideas and some exciting scenes in the movie, but it all seems over-familiar and by the numbers. Although Dennis Quaid is the nominal star, the true hero is Ben Foster, who is quite dynamic in his mild-mannered way. "Pandorum" refers to a kind of space-happy syndrome that makes people go nuts. The picture is more confusing than it needs to be. **1/2.

The Uninvited (2009). Directors: The Guard Brothers. A young woman, Emily, comes home from a mental hospital after a suicide attempt not long after her ill mother was incinerated in a fire. Emily and her sister are convinced that their mother's nurse, who is now engaged to their father, was responsible for her patient's fiery death. Are the young ladies next on her list? Spooky and indeed physical visions seem to be sending Emily warnings. The Uninvited may not be especially original, but it still has some interesting twists to it. ***.

Enter Nowhere (2011). Director: Jack Heller. Two woman and one man wake up to find themselves in an isolated cabin and discover their last memory places them in completely different parts of the country -- and worse. Then a handsome soldier (Shaun Sipos) shows up and things get even freakier. Scott Eastwood, Clint's son, may not be a great actor, but he certainly has presence. Katherine Waterston (daughter of Sam) and Sara Paxton are effective as the ladies. The film is suspenseful and well-made, even if it builds up to a Twilight Zone-type of climax.  **1/2.

Devil's Pass ((2013). Director: Renny Harlin. A documentary team of Colorado students discover weird giant foot prints in the show and a strange door in the side of a mountain in Russia. Inspired by the true story of the mysterious deaths of nine hikers in the Ural Mountains (the Dyatlov Pass incident) in 1959,  Devil's Pass comes up with an "explanation" that blends the military, flesh-eating monsters, alternate dimensions, and even the Philadelphia teleportation experiment! The result is a very entertaining and undeniably creepy movie with an ending that reminds one of an E.C. horror comic. The gay-baiting of a couple of characters is annoying, but generally this is a well-written and competently acted picture. ***.

Most Likely to Die (2015). Director: Anthony DiBlasi. A group of people find themselves beset by a savage killer at a high school reunion where everyone has issues. There is an admirable attempt at characterization, although the cowardly gay guy (Perez Hilton, who should have known better) is a tired old cliche. Some of the acting is quite good, especially Tess Christiansen as a more positively drawn lesbian character. The movie has more than one graphic sequence to satisfy the gore geeks, but its biggest strength is a genuinely tense climax where some of the survivors are put in an untenable situation to say the least. By no means, a classic, but entertaining enough. ***.

The Boy (2016). Director: William Brent Bell. Greta (Lauren Cohan) takes a job minding a little boy who turns out to be a life-sized doll. Skillfully directed by Bell, the movie is surprisingly creepy and suspenseful as it plays around with our expectations of what might really be going on. The improbable tale has loose ends by the score but it is quite entertaining and well-acted. ***.

Phantasm: Ravager (2016). Director: David Hartman. The fifth and final in the long-running Phantasm series stars the now-aged cast in a essentially plot-less rehash of previous films with a man named Reggie (Reggie Banister) not knowing if he's on the run from the Tall Man (Angus Scrimm) or recuperating in a nursing home. Only hard-core fans of the series will give a damn. Some good effects, but the movie often resembles a video game and the acting is only so-so. *1/2.

Bachelor Games (2016). Director: Edward McGown. On the eve of his wedding a man takes his friends on a camping trip in the Argentine. where they are warned about a dangerous spirit called the Hunter. Meanwhile old resentments and jealousies flare up, and then the dying begins. The movie is quite well-acted and suspenseful, but the supernatural aspects of the story are pretty lame and the viewer may feel cheated by the conclusion. Otherwise, this is notable. **1/2.

The Great Wall (2016). Director: Yimou Zhang. In ancient times a mercenary (Matt Damon) helps male and female Chinese soldiers fight against an invasion of huge, man-eating lizard monsters that even the Great Wall of China can't keep out. Opulent fantasy film with excellent FX work and some exciting scenes, but most of the time this just seems monumentally silly. Musical sequences add to the camp factor. **1/2.

Rings (2017). Director: F. Javier Gutierrez. This is another in a series of films based on a Japanese movie in which people who watch a certain videocassette wind up dying in seven days, all centering on the ghost of a young girl. The premise doesn't really make much sense, but the movie is creepy and entertaining in spite of it. **1/2.

Get Out (2017), Writer/director: Joran Peele. A young white lady brings her black boyfriend to meet her parents in the suburbs and weird things begin to happen. Is there a racist conspiracy afoot, and exactly what form is it going to take?. Get Out is entertaining and well-acted, and has some suspense, and what might be called a clever twist if only the secret of the plot wasn't a hoary cliche. The social commentary -- how some black people feel about whites and vice versa -- is about on the level of a seventies sitcom, with Caucasian characters making comments about Tiger Woods and Obama to show how hip and non-racist they are. By no means a bad movie, it's just ridiculously over-praised and, all told, rather silly. More a thriller than an out and out horror film despite certain developments, it is never the nail-biter it should have been. **1/2.

Alien: Covenant (2017). Director: Ridley Scott. In this sequel to Prometheus -- itself a prequel to the original Alien -- a ship bearing earth colonizers to a new world is drawn to the same planet of both of those movies, and the crew are soon beset by parasitical aliens. This retread of earlier Alien films isn't as bad as the second Alien vs Predator film, but it doesn't compare to the far superior Prometheus. Michael Fassbender plays two robot versions of himself, one of whom kisses the other on the lips, not as a homoerotic act but to confuse the other and get him off his guard. (There is a genuine gay couple in the movie but if you blink you might miss them.) There are a couple of good action scenes and the usual gruesomely effective FX, but the movie doesn't add much to the Alien legend and there's way. way too much of Fassbender. **1/2.

Eloise (2017). Director: Robert Legato. Eloise is the name of a shuttered mental institution where Jacob (Chace Crawford) comes with some companions to search for his mother's death certificate, which he needs to claim an inheritance. While inside the institution, the searchers are visited by ghosts from the past and there are some surprising revelations. The problem with Eloise is the matter-of-fact quality of the sequences with the murderous ghosts, and they way the characters show little shock or confusion when confronted by them. The picture has intriguing elements, but it just doesn't work. **.

The Mummy (2017). Director: Alex Kurtzman. Tom Cruise is a soldier and would-be "Indiana Jones" who messes with antiquities and gets taken over by the spirit of an Egyptian princess who has gone over to the dark side. This is a real mess of a movie, with 55-year-old Cruise playing the role too "cutesy" by far as if he thought he were still twenty-five. Annabelle Wallis makes a better impression as heroine Jenny, but I'm not sure what to make of poor Russell Crowe as "Dr. Jekyll." This is badly-directed and badly-scripted with one-dimensional characters and FX we have all seen before and better. A plane crash sequence and a bit with Cruise being chased by underwater zombies are exciting, but not enough to save this mega stink bomb.The only other good thing you can say about this movie is that it's not quite as campy as the Brendan Fraser Mummy series. *1/2.


AND we'll add a couple that are over 25 years old:

The Terror Within (1989). Director: Thierry Notz. Andrew Stevens gives a good performance in this Alien-clone set in the future when he and other survivors in a bunker must clash with mutated "gargoyles" who are trying to kill them. There are some suspenseful sequences. **1/2.

Dead Space (1991). Director: Fred Gallo. Scientists at a space station seek a cure for a deadly virus, but only succeed in creating a monster that never quite seems alive. Marc Singer is the star, but the best performance is given by Judith Chapman as the head of research. **.

STAR SPANGLED RHYTHM

Dick Powell and Mary Martin

STAR SPANGLED RHYTHM (1942). Director: George Marshall.

"I just can't make it tonight -- Veronica Lake is going to show me her other eye. " -- Bob Hope.

In this all-star Paramount wartime picture, the main plot has to do with Johnny Webster (Eddie Bracken), a sailor on leave who comes to Hollywood with his buddies. Eddie's father was once "Bronco Billy" Webster (Victor Moore of Carolina Blues), star of silent pictures, but is now reduced to being a guard at the studio gate. Ashamed of this comedown, Billy has lied to his son and told him that he is head of the studio! Eddie's girlfriend, Polly (Betty Hutton of the "craptastic" Betty Hutton Show), helps "Pop" put over the deception but needs some big help from the stars when Pop foolishly promises that his Paramount stars will put on a show for the sailor boys ... Star Spangled Rhythm has some slow stretches -- the whole second half consists almost entirely of acts, including one stop-the-movie-dead skit where four men play poker as if they were women -- but it also has its share of delights, including a hilarious bit when Polly enlists the aid of two men to help her get over the wall of the Paramount studio. Dick Powell and Mary Martin and an uncredited black group (the Mills Brothers?) do an excellent "Dreamtime" number on a train; there's a splendid and rather sexy production number called "Swing Shift" in a factory; and Eddie "Rochester" Anderson stars in another vibrant and all-Black dance number called "Sharp as a Tack." Dorothy Lamour, Veronica Lake, and Paulette Goddard spoof their images in "Sweater, Sarong, and Peekaboo Bang," and Sterling Holloway [Shake, Rattle & Rock], Walter Catlett and Arthur Treacher play the same ladies in drag. William Bendix has a funny shower scene with Bob Hope. Bracken, Hutton, and Moore are all on the money; Walter Abel scores as the real studio head, as does Anne Revere as his secretary; and Cecil B. Demille proves a perfectly adept actor playing himself. Cass Daley does her weird shtick, buck teeth and all. George Marshall keeps the pace fast and makes things visually interesting as well.

Verdict: Enjoyable romp. ***.

THE FOGHORN, THE ADORABLE ONE AND THE BEFUDDLED OLD MAN

THE FOGHORN, THE ADORABLE ONE, AND THE BEFUDDLED OLD MAN. 

In this very amusing sequence from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes we have three very unique, talented and interesting players interacting for comic results. First we have "the adorable one," Marilyn Monroe, doing her "dumb" perky bit with skillful shrewdness; then little George "Foghorn" Winslow whose deep voice and deadpan delivery was always hilarious; and finally, the ever-befuddled Charles Coburn, a wonderful actor who was at home in comedy as he was in drama (In This Our Life, among many, many others). What an amazing trio!

If this video doesn't work, click here to watch it on youtube!

BAD BOY

Johnny Downs

BAD BOY (1939). Director: Herbert Meyer.

"I don't care if your business is shipping fat missionaries to cannibal island, I want a job!"

John Fraser (Johnny Downs) kisses his sweet mother (Helen MacKellar) goodbye and heads for the big city full of hope and promise. Although he lands a good job and impresses his boss, McNeil (Holmes Herbert of The Curtain Falls), he falls in with a co-worker, Steve (Archie Robbins), who introduces him to gambling and a singer named Madelon (Rosalind Keith). Although Madelon is about as sexy as a hat rack, John falls hard for her and spends all of his money on her instead of sending it to his mother. Then he decides to "borrow" a couple of hundred dollars in petty cash so he can pay off his gambling debts, and things get worse from there. Bad Boy presents boyishly handsome Johnny Downs [Adventures of the Flying Cadets]  in an atypical role of a supposedly "nice guy" who becomes a gangster in a stereotypical boy-goes-wrong storyline. He is hardly perfect casting for the latter half of the film but he still manages to acquit himself nicely. MacKellar is excellent as his devoted mother, and the pic is nearly stolen by Spencer Williams as Terry, the black super in Mrs. Fraser's apartment who becomes a good friend to both mother and son and winds up working for John -- Terry has a much better head on his shoulders than John does. Saddled with a hairdo that has to be seen to be believed, Rosalind Keith is okay as a miserable bitch but is simply too homely to be that believable as a femme fatale. She retired after one more film.

Verdict: Entertaining minor melodrama with good performances. **1/2.

FORBIDDEN PHOTOS OF A LADY ABOVE SUSPICION

Dagmar Lassander and Pier Paolo Capponi

FORBIDDEN PHOTOS OF A LADY ABOVE SUSPICION (aka La foto proibite di una signora per bene/1970), Director: Luciano Ercoli.

Minou (Dagmar Lassander of Hatchet for the Honeymoon) is happily married to Peter (Pier Paolo Capponi), whose business has been having problems. One evening Minou is nearly assaulted by an unnamed creepy guy (Simon Andreu) who is some kind of photographer and possible porn star. The creep cooks up a scheme to get Minou in bed with him by telling her he has damaging information about her husband, but the stupid woman never suspects he's taking photos of their sexual encounter. The creep refuses her offer of money to get the negatives, and seems to want to turn Minou into his sex slave. Minou's sympathetic friend, Dominique (Nieves Navarro of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and the director's wife), insists that she tell Peter what's going on, and she finally calls the police, only things may be even more complicated than Minou suspects. Forbidden Photos is a minor Italian suspense film without much style, but it has enough twists and turns to keep you guessing. Ercoli also directed Navarro and Simon Andreu in Death Walks on High Heels.

Verdict: Minou is a moron. **12.

DON'T GO TO SLEEP

Robin Ignico

DON'T GO TO SLEEP (1982). Director: Richard Lang.

Phillip (Dennis Weaver) and his wife Laura (Valerie Harper) move into a new home with their two children, Mary (Robin Ignico) and Kevin (Oliver Robins of Poltergeist). Strange things begin to happen and Mary seems to be under the spell of her sister, Jennifer (Kristin Cumming), who died in a car accident some time before. Is Mary psychologically disturbed due to the trauma of her sister's death or is Jennifer's ghost out to destroy the family? Don't Go to Sleep shouldn't work, but thanks to excellent acting from the entire cast, taut and suspenseful direction, and a compelling script by Ned Wynn, it emerges as a memorable, creepy, disquieting and very uncompromising horror telefilm. Tragedy keeps piling on tragedy, and Weaver [Duel] and Harper [Stolen: One Husband] excel in difficult roles wherein they have to deal with things that (hopefully) few people would have to endure in real life. A cast stand-out is Robin Ignico, one of the most talented child actors I've ever seen, giving a nuanced, complex, and chilling performance. Ruth Gordon is peppery as the grandmother and Robert Webber is fine as a psychologist.

Verdict: A family tragedy disguised as horror. ***.

MIA AND WOODY: LOVE AND BETRAYAL

MIA AND WOODY: LOVE AND BETRAYAL. Kristi Groteke with Marjorie Rosen. Carroll and Graf; 1994.

Kristi Groteke was Mia Farrow's nanny for several years, and became her friend and confident. Although she tries to suggest that Mia was okay with her writing this book, I seriously doubt if that was the case, for this tell-all tome, while essentially sympathetic to Farrrow, is unsparing and unflinching in its depiction of the actress and her relationship with long-time partner (but not spouse) Woody Allen and her children. As everyone knows, Allen's sexual and romantic relationship with Farrow's daughter, Soon-Yi Previn (adopted by Farrow and her then-husband Andre Previn) is what caused the sensational, lurid and distasteful split with Farrow. The book reveals that Soon-Yi has a very low IQ, but it also goes into intensely personal details about the other children, who should have been spared such scrutiny. The book is well-written and exhaustive, and also examines at length the charges that Allen molested his daughter, Dylan, and several court documents and statements are reproduced. In attempts to have a sensational bestseller, Groteke may have gone a little overboard (especially where the Innocent children are concerned), but this is undeniably a riveting and "juicy" read. This book was one of the sources for the telefilm Love and Betrayal: The Mia Farrow Story. Groteke undoubtedly got a bundle of cash for both book and movie, but I don't know if it did anyone else any good.

Verdict: This is why nannies should always sign confidentiality agreements! ***.

THE THREE STOOGES (2012)

Sean Hayes, Chris Diamantopoulos, Will Sasso

THE THREE STOOGES (2012). Directors: Bobby and Peter Farrelly.

"You must be French -- that's a lot of oui oui." One of the Stooges referring to a baby.

If you're expecting a biopic that looks into the lives of the Three Stooges, look elsewhere. This purports to tell the life story of the Stooges, who are left on the doorstep of an orphanage run by nuns, and cause such damage over the years that the place has to close unless they can come up with $800,000. Fat chance! In sub-plots, an avaricious lady (Sofia Verara) hires the Stooges to allegedly murder her "dying" husband (Craig Bierko/Kirby Heyborne) and Moe winds up the star of a reality series set in Jersey! The Stooges are recreated by Sean Hayes (Larry), Will Sasso (Curly), and Chris Diamantopoulos (Moe), and they all do a nearly flawless job. Diamantopoulos really has Moe's voice down pat; Sasso does Curly's shtick to perfection, but Hayes isn't quite there as Larry. As to be expected in a modern movie, there's a gross 21st century sensibility in some sequences -- the boys uses babies to literally piss on each other in a hospital nursery -- and the humor is perhaps more black than it was in the Stooges' day. On the other hand, much of this is laugh-out-loud funny, and it's basically good-natured if at times in questionable taste. The child actors are all excellent, and Stephen Collins [The First Wives Club] scores as the duplicitous Mr. Harter. Other cast stand-outs include Jane Lynch as the Mother Superior and especially the wonderful Larry David as the delightfully dyspeptic Sister Mary-Mengele! A sequel to this film has been announced.

Verdict: Some very funny moments. ***.

WHEN MARRIAGES GO (MURDEROUSLY) BAD

WHEN MARRIAGES GO (MURDEROUSLY) BAD

Everyone hopes that a wedding is just the beginning of a lifetime of caring, companionship and happiness, but, sadly, it doesn't always work out that way, especially if you've had the misfortune to marry a sociopath. This theme has been explored on such true-crime cable shows as Scorned: Love Kills!, and this week Great Old Movies examines telefilms that also look into really bad marriages. Most of these films are based on true stories, but a couple are fictional.

If there's any lesson to be learned from these dramas, it's to be very, very careful who you get hitched to!

MURDER BY NATURAL CAUSES

Katherine Ross and Barry Bostwick

MURDER BY NATURAL CAUSES (1979 telefilm). Director: Robert Day.

Arthur Sinclair (Hal Holbrook) is a famous "mentalist" who claims psychic powers that may or may not be real. His younger wife, Alison (Katharine Ross), is having an affair with the struggling actor, Gil Weston (Barry Bostwick), and she urges him to help her carry out a plot to kill Arthur. Of course nothing runs smoothly, but there are other players in the drama who may have their own schemes at work ... Murder By Natural Causes has a typically twisty and satisfying plot by Richard Levinson and William Link, and boasts top performances by Holbook and Bostwick, who really score in a cat and mouse sequence inside Arthur's imposing mansion. Ross [Games] and Richard Anderson [The Night Strangler], who plays the Sinclairs' lawyer, are competent and effective but a cut below the other two. In addition to many other mystery scripts, Levinson and Link also wrote That Certain Summer, which also starred Holbrook.

Verdict: This pic won't make you "mental." ***.

DEADLY INTENTIONS

Michael Biehn and Madolyn Smith Osborne

DEADLY INTENTIONS (1985 telefilm/mini-series). Director: Noel Black.

Charles Raynor (Michael Biehn) is an aspiring doctor who boards with the Livanos family and has a rather neurotic adoptive mother (Cloris Leachman). Charles falls in love with Katherine Livanos (Madolyn Smith Osborne) and the two move to a new town where he gets a job at a hospital. Katherine discovers that her new husband is rather peculiar, giving her lists of things to do each day, treating her like a child, and deliberately frightening her as he takes photos of her distress. When he gives her medicine for their baby boy, and Katherine discovers from a pharmacist (Robert Clarke in a bit) that the stuff could have killed the child, she makes up her mind to get out. This leads to an incredibly suspenseful and scary sequence that ends part one. Part two, while still entertaining, and which details events that occurred after the Raynor's divorce and Charles' plot to murder his wife, should have been compacted to about half an hour. In any case Deadly Intentions, based on a true crime book written by the prosecutor in the attempted murder trial, is quite absorbing, and features two terrific lead performances. With his crazy eyes one could suggest that Biehn [Aliens] is halfway there with his part, but he really does give an outstanding and marvelously intense performance that deserved an Emmy (I don't think he was even nominated). Cloris Leachman, Kevin McCarthy as a defense lawyer, and Cliff De Young [Dr. Giggles] as the prosecutor are also notable. Noel Black also directed the theatrical film Pretty Poison. Followed by Deadly Intentions ... Again?

Verdict: Watch out for those eyes. ***.

SHE WAS MARKED FOR MURDER

Stefanie Powers and Hunt Block 

SHE WAS MARKED FOR MURDER (1988 telefilm). Directors: Charles and Chris Thomson.

Elena Forrester (Stefanie Powers of Crescendo) is the widowed publisher of a women's lifestyle magazine. Her assistant, Claire (Debrah Farentino), suggests it's time for Elena to start dating again, and she hooks up with a younger man named  Eric Chandler (Hunt Block). The two surprise everyone by getting hitched after just a short period. But before you can say Suspicion, Elena starts discovering alarming things about the husband she barely knows. The generic title should give you a clue as to what's going on. Powers, Block and Farentino all give good performances and there is also nice work from Lloyd Bridges [Deadly Dream] as an old friend of Elena's who is carrying a torch for her. Polly Bergen [Death Cruise] adds some spice as a TV talk show host who hopes to get Elena on camera. The movie is smooth and entertaining just as long as you don't expect any real surprises.

Verdict: Older, wealthy woman and younger man with no visible means of support is always a recipe for disaster. **1/2.

LOVE, LIES AND MURDER

Clancy Brown

LOVE, LIES AND MURDER (1991 telefilm/mini-series). Director: Robert Markowitz.

David Brown (Clancy Brown) tells the police that his wife, Linda, was shot but can't bring himself to check on her in the bedroom. He then tells them that his 14-year-old daughter, Cinnamon (Moira Kelly), murdered Linda, who was her stepmother. Linda's younger sister, Patti (Sheryl Lee of Twin Peaks), was also in the house. Although the cops feel that there are things about the story that don't add up, Cinnamon confesses after a suicide attempt, and is incarcerated. But while David and Patti live large on Linda's huge insurance payout, Cinnamon decides to open up to the police, and a diabolical scheme unfolds ... Love, Lies, and Murder is based on a true case (which was also the subject of two books), and features some fine performances by the leads, with especially good work from Kelly and Lee. If there's any problem with the movie it is that we don't get to know the victim very well, and the other characters are defined more by what has happened to them than anything else. Cynthia Nixon has a small early role as a friend of Patti's. Clancy Brown does a lot of voice work for animated shows such as Justice League where he played Lex Luthor.

Verdict: Absorbing and shocking true crime story. ***.

DEADLY INTENTIONS ... AGAIN?

Joanna Kerns and Harry Hamlin

DEADLY INTENTIONS ... AGAIN? (1991 telefilm). Director: James Steven Sadwith.

In this sequel to Deadly Intentions, Charles Raynor (now played by Harry Hamlin) has gotten out of prison after being convicted of trying to murder his first wife. His second wife, Sally (Joanna Kerns) has always believed in his innocence, but she becomes suspicious of his actions, as well as of a chained up case that he keeps in the trunk of his car. Sally finally comes to the conclusion that not only is Raynor guilty of the crime he was convicted of, but he is still planning to get even with his wife, not to mention the prosecutor whose book was turned into the Deadly Intentions telefilm. Will Sally be able to notify the authorities before her time runs out? Deadly Intentions ... Again? is an entertaining TV flick, but Hamlin [Clash of the Titans], although more than competent, can't hold a candle to Michael Biehn, who played the role in the earlier film. The always-amiable Hamlin rarely if ever seems seriously threatening. Kerns is excellent, however, as are Eileen Brennan [Jeepers Creepers], who is even better as Raynor's mother than Cloris Leachman was; and Fairuza Balk, who plays Raynor's troubled stepdaughter. More fictionalized than the original film.

Verdict: You just can't keep a good sociopath down. ***.

THE DANGER OF LOVE: THE CAROLYN WARMUS STORY

Illicit Lovers: Joe Penny and Jenny Robertson

THE DANGER OF LOVE: THE CAROLYN WARMUS STORY (1992 telefilm). Director: Joyce Chopra.

Teacher Michael Carlin (Joe Penny) is married to Mary Ann (Deborah Benson) but is drawn to a co-worker, the wealthy Carolyn Warmus (Jenny Robertson), who is used to always getting what she wants. Although Michael tries more than once to break things off, Carolyn just won't take no for an answer. One evening Michael meets Carolyn for drinks, and comes home to find his wife shot to death, almost execution style. As far as Detective Pollina (Joseph Bologna) is concerned, Michael is the number one suspect, but first he has to take a hard, cold look at the man's mistress ... The Danger of Love is based on the true story of the notorious Warmus, and is bolstered by excellent performances from the two leads, especially Robertson. Richard Lewis also has a good turn as Michael's friend, a lawyer named Edward. The screenplay is perhaps too kind to Michael, who in real life was probably not as sympathetic as Joe Penny portrays him.

Verdict: Even smart blonds can be dumb. ***.

FINAL APPEAL

Brian Dennehy

FINAL APPEAL (1993 telefilm). Director: Eric Till.

Christine Biondi (JoBeth Williams of Poltergeist) is accused of murdering her husband, Ed (Tom Mason), and taking a shot at his skank nurse mistress, Delores (Ashley Crow). She claims the shootings were in self-defense, but an ambitious prosecutor (is there any other kind in these movies?)  named Dana Cartier (Lindsay Crouse) wants to hang her. A bigger problem for Christine is that her lawyer is her alcoholic brother, Perry (Brian Dennehy of Righteous Kill), who seems too tired to make an "objection" when his sister's life is on the line. But with the help of a sympathetic cop, Detective Ayers (Eddie Jones), who knows there was a cover-up in the investigation, Perry may yet win the day. Final Appeal's main strength is in the incredibly sharp performances by Williams and Dennehy, and virtually everyone else in the cast, including the talented youngster who plays Christine's young son, Zach (Keegan MacIntosh). Although this is supposedly based on a true story, some elements seem strictly fictional, such as Perry, whose license has been suspended, getting it back temporarily so that he can defend his sister. The production has to be taken with a large grain of salt, but it is absorbing and full of interesting developments.

Verdict: Well-done "true" crime drama with outstanding performances. ***.

TEXAS JUSTICE

Peter Strauss

TEXAS JUSTICE (1995 telefilm). Director: Dick Lowry.

Wealthy Thomas Cullen Davis (Peter Strauss) has a messy divorce from his wife, Priscilla (Heather Locklear), who is no angel herself. But when a gunmen enters the Davis mansion where she now resides, her boyfriend and daughter are shot to death, and she escapes with her life. During a trial Priscilla swears that Thomas was the perpetrator, and when he gets off, she's afraid that he's not quite through with her yet ... Texas Justice is based on a true story, and the developments are appalling. Strauss makes a compelling leading man, and there's nice work from Locklear [Looney Tunes: Back in Action] as well, with excellent support from Dennis Franz as Davis' lawyer "Racehorse" Haynes, The second half of the movie/mini-series is not as good as the first, and could have been been truncated, but this basically makes an entertaining true-crime story, and it certainly shows how the legal system can be very cleverly manipulated by highly skilled defense attorneys. Strauss did the narration for a new release of the classic French children's film White Mane.

Verdict: Apparently the rich can get away with murder. **1/2.

THOSE COOL COMIC BOOK HEROES!

Superman vs Nuclear Man from Superman IV

THOSE COOL COMIC BOOK HEROES! 

This week Great Old Movies looks at films that star famous super-heroes such as Superman and Batman. We first look at comic book heroes whose exploits were adapted for cliffhanger serials (such as Blackhawk and Spy Smasher), then jump to films of the seventies and more recent flicks such as Wonder Woman. We've also got a section on animated features, most of which star Batman or Superman. In other words, we've got more super-powered and/or heroic (or villainous) characters than you can shake a stick at! Enjoy!

NOTE: All of the heroic characters covered this week originally appeared in comic books with the exception of Captain Midnight, whose exploits were first charted on the radio and in the serial before he got his own successful comic book series. 

CAPTAIN MIDNIGHT

Dave O'Brien as Captain Midnight

CAPTAIN MIDNIGHT (15 chapter Columbia serial/1942). Director: James W. Horne.

Captain Albright (Dave O'Brien) also uses the costumed and masked identity of Captain Midnight, although everyone seems to know the two are the same. He is aided by his buddies, Ichabod or "Icky" (Guy Wilkerson) and the spunky Chuck (Sam Edwards). A scientist named John Edwards (Bryant Washburn) has invented a special range-finder weapon that he hopes to sell to Washington, but the nefarious Ivan Shark (James Craven) and his gang want to get their hands on it first. Captain Midnight and his own gang, including Major Steele (Joseph W. Girard) and Edwards' daughter, Joyce (Dorothy Short), have their hands full trying to stay alive, outwit Shark and either keep the invention out of Shark's hands or get it back once he's stolen it. Shark also has a daughter named Fury (Luana Walters of Shadow of Chinatown), who helps her father and bosses around his henchmen.

There are some terrific cliffhangers in this serial. In chapter three Midnight finds himself trapped on a plane without a parachute and a cockpit rapidly filling with deadly gas. Midnight is nearly cut in half by a buzz saw in chapter four, and most of the supporting players are nearly crushed by moving walls with electrical charges in chapter fifteen. There is an excellent business with a water tank death trap in a cage inside Shark's HQ in chapter six, and even wilder is a fire pit in chapter ten in which Midnight is trapped on a revolving platform above the flames even as a huge block descends from above. Fury and Joyce have a brief tussle in chapter five. O'Brien is fine in the lead and the others are okay, but James Craven [The Purple Monster Strikes] really steals the show with his portrayal of the nasty and determined Ivan Shark, who is also a master of disguise, causing lots of problems because of it throughout the serial. Lee Zahler's music is right on target. O'Brien and Short appeared together in Spooks Run Wild.

Captain Midnight was adapted from a popular radio show (it became a TV series in the fifties). When this serial became equally successful, it was decided to turn it into a comic book -- in which the character can fly without a plane, unlike the serial -- which was published by Fawcett and lasted nearly seventy issues.

Verdict: Humor, frenetic action, and a fast pace add up to one very entertaining serial. ***.

SPY SMASHER

Kane Richmond

SPY SMASHER (12 chapter Republic serial/1942). Director: William Witney.

Jack Armstrong (Kane Richmond) discovers that his identical twin brother, Alan, is secretly the heroic Spy Smasher. The nefarious Nazi Mask (Hans Schumm) wants to flood the U.S. with counterfeit currency, and that's just one of his schemes, which keep SS hopping through this serial's 12 action-packed chapters. The Mask has a "batplane" which can rise straight up into the stratosphere, and an electric ray gun that can knock airplanes out of the sky. Spy Smasher, which was based on the very popular Fawcett comic book, is full of exciting cliffhangers: SS in a mining car loaded with grenades with a fiery conflagration ahead of him and a steel door in front (1); a torpedo room that floods with water (3); a descending frieght elevator that nearly squashes our hero (5); a conveyor belt with rapidly spinning and deadly blades (6); another mining car that heads directly for a fiery doorway; and others. Our hero appears to die in the penultimate chapter, and someone in his uniform is indeed dead. The serial is full of furious fisticuffs and superior stunt work, and the locations are wisely chosen.

Kane Richmond [Stage Struck] makes just about the perfect serial hero: square-jawed, handsome, imposing, and looking great in his uniform instead of silly. He strikes just the right note as both Jack and Alan. Marguerite Chapman [Man Bait] hasn't that much to do as the nominal heroine/love interest, but Tristram Coffin [Up in the Air], as usual, is notable as a cameraman and quisling secretly working for the Mask. Hans Schumm may not go down in history as one of the more memorable serial villains, but he's effective enough in the part. The music is attributed to Mort Glickman, who bowdlerizes Beethoven's 5th symphony to create some rousing and classy theme music.

Verdict: One of the best of the Republic super-action serials. ***

BLACKHAWK

Kirk Alyn and Carol Forman

BLACKHAWK (aka Blackhawk, Fearless Champion of Freedom/15 chapter Columbia serial/1952). Directors: Spencer Gordon Bennet; Fred F. Sears.

Having already played Superman twice, Kirk Alyn  was the perfect choice to play another DC Comics hero (albeit without actual super-powers), Blackhawk, who headed a team of international freedom fighters. The Blackhawk comic, beautifully drawn by Reed Crandell (who gets credit in the serial), and created by Will Eisner (who does not), had been published since the early 1940's. There were some changes made from the comic: the Chinese cook Chop Chop (Weaver Levy) was less caricatured, and Andre (Larry Stewart) was no longer French. Stanislaus, portrayed as a gruff, gray-haired middle-aged man in the comics, has an evil twin in the serial, and is played by Rick Vallin, The villainess is hard-as-nails Laska (Carol Forman), who is given an unflattering hairstyle and is in no way as glamorous as she was in other serials, such as her headliner The Black Widow. She reports to an unseen (but hardly unknown) "Leader," who keeps asking her to give more, more -- including her life -- to the "party." Laska's main henchman is Aller, played by serial regular Marshall Reed [Gunfighters of the Northwest]. When handsome Aller tires to get familiar with Laska -- "nice drivin', baby," he tells her -- she snaps, "The name is Laska!" Blackhawk is full of exciting cliffhangers, even if none of them are resolved in a clever manner -- Blackhawk simply rolls out of the way of several oil drums, or jumps out of a hay wagon that has caught on fire. In other sequences Stan is tied to a pole with a plane's propeller rushing towards him; Blackhawk's car is pushed onto the tracks just as a train arrives; fiery derricks topple like tenpins; a cartoon "flying saucer" hits our hero's plane; and Blackhawk's parachute fails to open so he has to ride piggyback on the shoulders of one of his comrades. Laska and her gang have several headquarters, all of which look exactly the same. Noting this, Blackhawk wonders about it and says, "they must have a reason for that." although it's never determined what it is (the budget was the reason, of course). Michael Fox plays one of Laska's confederates, and William Fawcett [Batman and Robin] is a scientist who has created a destructive ray machine. A lot of the action has to do with the theft and retrieval of "element X." Plenty of exciting fisticuffs in this.

Verdict: Blackhawk is a lot of fun. ***.