COME BACK TO THE 5 AND DIME, JIMMY DEAN, JIMMY DEAN

Cher

COME BACK TO THE 5 AND DIME, JIMMY DEAN, JIMMY DEAN (1982). Director: Robert Altman.

In a small town in Texas twenty years have gone by since the last meeting of a James Dean fan club in 1955, the year of Dean's death. Incredibly, several of these "disciples" come back to the Woolworth "5 and Dime" store, where the members used to congregate, for a 20th anniversary reunion. Two of the members -- big-boobed Sissy (Cher) and decidedly weird Mona (Sandy Dennis), who supposedly has a son fathered by Dean -- never left town and still work for Juanita (Sudie Bond) at the store. Then there's big brassy Stella Mae (Kathy Bates of Misery), sweetly naive Edna Louise (Marta Heflin), and a newcomer, Joanne (Karen Black), who knows everyone and claims she was once a member of the group -- but no one remembers her. As the day progresses, the ladies share revelations and bear their souls.

Kathy Bates with Karen Black in the background

Originally presented on stage with (mostly) the same cast, and with Altman as director, the play had its fans -- primarily due to the presence of Cher and perhaps its camp/transgender factor -- but was not a big hit with the critics, finding it awfully contrived and sitcom-like, which it is. As with the stage production, Altman decided to use the same actors playing themselves twenty years earlier in sometimes poorly delineated flashbacks, and it not only doesn't work but just confuses the viewer. The frequent jumps in time eventually become tiresome. But while the play and movie, both written by Ed Graczyk, have some interesting elements to them, the story ultimately comes off more like a stunt than serious theater. The film never quite makes up its mind if it's a drama or a black comedy. The dialogue doesn't come naturally from the situations, but seems forced just so each character can have her big moment

Settling scores: Karen Black

Then there's the acting, which is frequently over-rehearsed (understandably) and over-emphatic. Cher was originally supposed to play a transsexual character, but decided she'd rather play Sissy (ironic that her daughter became a trans man years later). She is okay, but it's not much of a stretch from what she used to do in sketches on The Sonny and Cher Show. Sandy Dennis is somewhat good as that ultimate loser, Mona, but she's a positive riot of pauses, tics, nervousness, and grotesque facial expressions. Mona manages to get over her own mortification rather quickly. Karen Black [Invaders from Mars] comes off the best as Joanne, who has come to town to settle a few scores, and she has quite a few bravura moments. Kathy Bates is also quite good, as are Sudie Bond, Marta Helfin and Mark Patton [A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge] as Joe, the one male member of the Disciples, whose character manages to run virtually the entire LGBT gamut before the play is over.

I believe the play is meant to be liberal and kind-hearted, and it can be appreciated on that level, but I think some of the same elements could have been reworked into something with a stronger premise and more interesting situations and characters.

Verdict: It is not true that a remake with Caitlyn Jenner is now in pre-production. **1/2. 

EVIL UNDER THE SUN

Peter Ustinov and Maggie Smith

EVIL UNDER THE SUN (1982). Director: Guy Hamilton.

"Even in the old days she would throw her legs up higher than anyone -- and wider." Daphne referring to Arlena.

At a resort run by former showgirl Daphne Castle (Maggie Smith), one of the guests is a former colleague and now star, Arlena Marshall (Diana Rigg of The Avengers). Although married, Arlena is fooling around with Patrick Redfern (Nicholas Clay), who is also married, to the plain-Jane Christine (Jane Birkin of Seven Deaths in the Cats Eye). When Arlena is strangled in an isolated cove, the suspects also include her wannabee biographer Rex Brewster (Roddy McDowall), and the producing team of Myra and Odell Gardener (Sylvia Miles and James Mason). Then there's Arlena's husband, Kenneth (Denis Quilley) and his obnoxious young daughter, Linda (Emily Hone). It is up to the famous Belgian detective Hercule Poirot (Peter Ustinov) to find out who the true murderer is. Evil Under the Sun is another over-produced, not quite "all-star" Agatha Christie adaptation, with a script by Anthony Shaffer that makes some changes but doesn't do too much damage to the novel. Overlong, the movie is very slow-paced and often dull, although some of the actors, especially Maggie Smith [Downton Abbey] and James Mason, do their best to keep things interesting with their performances. Mason and Sylvia Miles certainly make a very odd pair, and Miles is vivid if typically vulgar. McDowall does his usual middle-aged fop act. Ustinov is not the perfect Poirot, but he is amusing at times, and indeed the movie often plays like a parody. The picture only really picks up in the final quarter when Poirot assembles the suspects and reveals the clever solution, which (as usual) works better on the printed page than spelled out in wide screen and TechniColor. Still, it sends the audience out possibly fooled into thinking they've seen a better movie than they actually have. The film has absolutely none of the suspense of the novel, and you probably won't even care who killed Arlena. Rigg is excellent as the victim, and Clay and Birkin also make their mark as her lover and his discarded spouse. Smith's character refers to McDowall's with a stupid comment about "cherchez la fruit." The score consists of adaptations of the songs of Cole Porter. Since Porter's bouncy music is hardly appropriate for an alleged movie of suspense and intrigue, it almost kills the movie, lovely tunes notwithstanding, right there. Ustinov also played Poirot in Dead Man's Folly, which was a better Christie adaptation than this.

Verdict: Read Christie's book instead for a much more entertaining experience. **1/2.

DON'T GO TO SLEEP

Robin Ignico

DON'T GO TO SLEEP (1982). Director: Richard Lang.

Phillip (Dennis Weaver) and his wife Laura (Valerie Harper) move into a new home with their two children, Mary (Robin Ignico) and Kevin (Oliver Robins of Poltergeist). Strange things begin to happen and Mary seems to be under the spell of her sister, Jennifer (Kristin Cumming), who died in a car accident some time before. Is Mary psychologically disturbed due to the trauma of her sister's death or is Jennifer's ghost out to destroy the family? Don't Go to Sleep shouldn't work, but thanks to excellent acting from the entire cast, taut and suspenseful direction, and a compelling script by Ned Wynn, it emerges as a memorable, creepy, disquieting and very uncompromising horror telefilm. Tragedy keeps piling on tragedy, and Weaver [Duel] and Harper [Stolen: One Husband] excel in difficult roles wherein they have to deal with things that (hopefully) few people would have to endure in real life. A cast stand-out is Robin Ignico, one of the most talented child actors I've ever seen, giving a nuanced, complex, and chilling performance. Ruth Gordon is peppery as the grandmother and Robert Webber is fine as a psychologist.

Verdict: A family tragedy disguised as horror. ***.

SHOOT THE MOON

Peter Weller and Diane Keaton

SHOOT THE MOON (1982). Director: Alan Parker.

Faith Dunlap (Diane Keaton), a housewife with four young daughters, is married to an acclaimed author named George (Albert Finney), who is having an affair with Sandy (Karen Allen). Faith learns of the affair and divorce papers are filed, and the children try to cope with the painful disintegration of their parents' marriage and their own worries for the future. The oldest daughter, Sherry (Dana Hill) is particularly anguished, and at first wants no relationship with the father whose love she craves. Then a contractor named Frank (Peter Weller) enters the picture and begins his own relationship with Faith, and George's jealousy and paranoia threaten to demolish everything ... Shoot the Moon was a talked-about movie in its day, although it's pretty much forgotten now, and one can see why. While the film is quite good at delineating the emotional upheaval affecting the oldest daughter, and there are some good, near-powerful sequences, the characters are a little too unsympathetic to make us fully root for them. Spouses do tend to have conflicted feelings during divorces, and the film spells that out but never fully engages us. The constant presence of the four daughters, however adorable, sometimes makes this resemble a dark Disney film. The deck is sort of stacked against George because he is a self-absorbed asshole, which the film never quite addresses until the ending; while George had a girlfriend on the side, it is not clear if he actually wanted a divorce. Keaton [Interiors] gives an excellent performance, nearly matched by Finney [Tom Jones], and there is superlative work from the young Dana Hill as their daughter, Sherry  -- one of the best scenes is between Finney and Hill as they have a long talk on a dock. Weller [Star Trek Into Darkness] doesn't get much of a chance to be more than the likable, swaggering hunk with a penchant for his own violence. A scene when Faith and George have a fight in a restaurant is pure sitcom and out of sync with the rest of the movie. George Murdock scores in a brief scene as Faith's dying father. Michael Seresin's cinematography is superb.

Verdict: Something's missing ... **1/2.

BUTTERFLY

Pia Zadora and Orson Welles -- in the same movie!

BUTTERFLY (1982). Director: Matt Cimber.

In 1937 at the Arizona-Nevada border Kady Tyler (Pia Zadora) comes to live with the father she never knew, a man named Jess (Stacy Keach), who is the caretaker for an abandoned silver mine. Despite their biological connection, Kady and Jess are drawn to one another, something which bothers Jess but doesn't seem to bother the much too free-spirited Kady. Kady's dying mother, Belle (Lois Nettleton), comes calling, along with the man Belle ran off with, Moke Blue (James Franciscus). Then there's Wash Gillespie (Edward Albert), the son of the owner of the mine, and the father of Kady's baby and her fiance. How far will Jess go to get Kady for himself -- and is she really his daughter? Butterfly certainly holds the attention with its intriguing if bizarre situations, as well as some very good acting. Keach takes top honors, with Nettleton a close second, and Franciscus [Youngblood Hawke] also scores in some emotional scenes inside the mine. Pia Zadora [Hairspray] is not bad at all, although one couldn't necessarily call her a great actress -- her pouty looks and attitude fit the part. Orson Welles, of all people, shows up as a judge at two separate trials involving Kady and Jess, and is very effective and amusing. Edward Albert [Galaxy of Terror] is fine as Kady's boyfriend, and in one brief scene June Lockhart and Ed McMahon [!] play his parents -- McMahon is no actor. Stuart Whitman, however, makes his mark as a preacher. This forgotten movie is based on a novel by James M. Cain.

Verdict: Twisted, but interesting, love story. ***.

POLTERGEIST (1982)

Robbie (Oliver Robins) and his malevolent clown

POLTERGEIST (1982). Director: Tobe Hooper. Produced by Steven Spielberg.

"It's not another tribal burial ground. It's just people."

A very nice family living in a development in Cueste Verde are subjected to all manner of strange phenomenon in their home, culminating in their little girl, Carol Anne (Heather O'Rourke) disappearing into a closet. Now most parents would at least try the police first -- after all a predator could have run off with the child during all the excitement (a tree with a hungry maw; a tornado etc.) -- but Steve Freeling (Craig T. Nelson) and his wife, Diane (JoBeth Williams) reach out to parapsychologists instead (if for no other reason than to get the plot moving). This is just as well, as the little psychic Tangina (Zelda Rubinstein) discovers there's an evil presence inside the house. Just when you think things have calmed down and the child has been returned, there's a bravura climax in which the Freelings discover just why so many crazy things have been going on with a vengeance. Poltergeist is in its way rather silly and even schlocky at times -- it's much more of a black comedy than a true horror film, but works on that level -- but it has some well-done FX and creepy sequences. On the debit side, Poltergeist takes a while to get going -- the day to day details of the Freelings lives are simply not that interesting -- and sometimes the pacing is off. The movie does do a very good job of getting across childhood fears, however.The acting is fine -- the children are especially noteworthy -- but the actors take a back seat to the special effects. Jerry Goldsmith's score helps a great deal in key action sequences. One quick and disgusting gore sequence doesn't quite fit the tone of the movie, even though it turns out to be an hallucination. In the thankless role of another parapsychologist, Beatrice Straight does little but flap her lips together. Followed by two sequels and a remake. Tobe Hopper also directed the terrible Eaten Alive.

Verdict: No masterpiece, but fun. ***.

MAKING LOVE

Harry Hamlin and Michael Ontkean

MAKING LOVE (1982). Director: Arthur Hiller.

A successful oncologist, Zach (Micheal Ontkean) seems to be happily married to his wife and best friend, Claire (Kate Jackson) -- they both love Gilbert and Sullivan, and poet Rupert Brooke --  but all of his life he's been fighting his attraction to men. He is less interested in having a very active sex life as he is in having a romantic, lifetime relationship with another man, and falls (rather quickly) for a foot-loose writer named Bart (Harry Hamlin of Clash of the Titans), who is much more comfortable with his sexuality. As Zach's marriage to Claire approaches its end, will Bart turn out to be the man that Zach's been hoping to find? Making Love, released by Twentieth Century-Fox, was the first major Hollywood film on homosexuality, and was heavily promoted as well. [That Certain Summer tackled the subject on television ten years earlier.] Although it could be argued that they give telefilm-type performances, the three leads are all good, and the film is interesting, with a moving conclusion. The casting of Kate Jackson as the very likable Claire was a smart move. Hamlin at times tries too hard to play it "gay" but Ontkean is fine, although the important sequences when he finally comes out to Claire are a bit awkward in both scripting and performance. Whatever its flaws, Making Love is to be commended for being one of the first films in which gay characters were neither maniacs nor corpses. Wendy Hiller [The Cat and the Canary] plays Winnie, an elderly friend of Zach and Claire's. A particularly charming scene has Zach and Claire entering a singing contest and being really bad just to spare a friendly young lady who was booed from getting the booby prize. Lovely score by Leonard Rosenman.

Verdict: Intelligent if imperfect gay love story -- of sorts. ***.

EUNICE

Carol Burnett as Eunice

EUNICE (1982 telefilm/TV special).

"I told you if you married Ed Higgins you'd get freaks for kids, and that's just what you got." -- Mama referring to Eunice's boys.

The highlights of The Carol Burnett Show were "The Family" sketches which focused on the highly-dysfunctional Harper family, especially on the love-hate relationship between Eunice (Carol Burnett) and her mother (Vicki Lawrence). This 1982 special was the longest Family "sketch" of all, taped before a live audience, and consisting of four parts in different time periods: 1955, when Eunice is courted by future husband Ed (Harvey Korman), and brother Phil (Ken Berry) leaves for New York to become a writer; 1963, in which Phil has achieved some success and Eunice wants to go to New York with him to become an actress; 1973, in which Phil wins a Pulitzer but still has to deal with the jealousies, resentments and pressures of his weird family back home; and 1978, when Mama dies and old squabbles resurface between Eunice and her sister Ellen (Betty White of Advise and Consent), but the former finally plans to make her escape from her dismal small-town existence -- but will she? Sharply written by Jenna McMahon and Dick Clair, in its own comic [often only slightly exaggerated] way Eunice unveils the way in which family members can lacerate one another due to their own insecurities and frustrations; played differently it could have been a drama. While Burnett and her Eunice border on caricature, the comedienne manages the difficult feat of making the shrill, unlikable Eunice sympathetic, while Lawrence -- who received an Emmy nomination -- is just splendid as the grumpy if coldly realistic Mama, who has no patience with her daughter's fantastic plans and dreams. Korman, Berry, and White also score in their important supporting roles. This excellent (and highly-rated) telefilm unfortunately led into the sitcom Mama's Family, in which Burnett did not participate (but for a couple of guest appearances), stripping the whole project of its most important and funniest relationship.

Verdict: Funny and rather horrifying in equal measure. ***1/2.

DEADLY EYES aka THE RATS

The "rats" go on the rampage

DEADLY EYES (aka The Rats/1982). Director: Robert Clouse.

This entertaining horror flick is very loosely based on British writer James Herbert's novel "The Rats," with the action being transplanted to Toronto from England. Deep in the sewers and subway lines rats the size of dogs [and played by dogs as well as puppet heads for close-ups] are breeding after ingesting some chemical or other, and getting hungrier by the minute. The main characters are teacher Paul Harris (Sam Groom), and his latest lady friend, a health inspector named Kelly Leonard (Sara Botsford). One of Kelly's employees (Scatman Crothers) tells her he's seen a really big rat, and later becomes one of their victims, along with teens, elderly people, and one unfortunate baby who's dragged out of her highchair. A stupid sub-plot has to do with a female student who develops a crush on Harris; she and her friends are boring, but most of the movie has to do with the busy rats, who stage attacks in bowling alleys, a movie theater, and finally on a train load of politicos and others accompanying the obnoxious mayor on the first ride on a new subway expansion line. While the movie is low-budget and even schlocky at times, it does work up some suspense, the actors are good, the "dogs" are effective stand-ins for big rats, and the sounds the beasties make are a little unnerving. Clouse also directed "The Pack," about killer dogs, five years earlier, and Botsford also appeared in Murder By Phone. Fans of the Herbert novel will undoubtedly be disappointed, but this is hardly as terrible as some have suggested.

Verdict: Actually pretty creepy if you're in the right mood. ***.

OUTRAGEOUS CONDUCT: ART, EGO AND THE TWILIGHT ZONE CASE

OUTRAGEOUS CONDUCT: ART, EGO AND THE TWILIGHT ZONE CASE. Stephen Farber and Marc Green. Arbor House/Morrow; 1988.

Hard to believe that it's been over thirty years since the awful tragedy on the set of Twilight Zone -- The Movie and since director John Landis decided to circumvent child labor laws and bring two children, Renee Chen and Myca Le [along with actor Vic Morrow, who was desperate for a mid-life career break], onto a set late at night in close proximity to a low-flying helicopter and explosives, with the result that all three died horrible deaths. Landis and his cohorts [five men were put on trial while others who were clearly culpable in some way, such as producer Frank Marshall, managed to escape prosecution] were never charged with breaking the child labor laws, supposedly because the sentence would have been only a few days in jail -- but surely the fact that the children died would have made a big difference? In any case, there were severe prosecutorial blunders [the first prosecutor was let go, and he and his replacement seemed to have a private war going on], and the members of the jury, while not necessarily thinking Landis and the others were "innocent," felt the prosecution didn't prove its case. [However, prosecutor Lea D'Agostino and others seemed to think the jury consisted of twelve of the dumbest people on the planet.] Outrageous Conduct looks at all sides of the issue, assessing guilt and innocence [the title pretty much sums up the books' point-of-view], bolstered with interviews from many involved in the case, as well as court transcripts. The large cast of characters includes several self-important defense lawyers, as well as has-been Ralph Bellamy, who publicly and foolishly supported Landis because he gave the actor a job in Trading Places. The book looks at the varying opinions of directors of note in regards to Landis' actions and behavior. Any way you look at it, these three deaths should not have happened. While Landis basically got away with "outrageous conduct," it's also a fact that his career since the tragedy has been low-profile, mostly TV work, and his later films were not well-received; by major Hollywood standards he himself is a has-been. How much this has to do with Twilight Zone is debatable, as Landis was never really a major talent. Outrageous Conduct also examines the general subject of safety on Hollywood movie sets for added balance. Ultimately this is the story of two innocent children, all excited about being on a movie set, who were let down by so many of the adults they counted on, including associate producer George Folsey Jr. [one of the defendants] who told them and their parents that everything was "safe."

Verdict: A brilliant and sobering book that doesn't pull any punches. ****.

EATING RAOUL

Paul Bartel, Mary Woronov, and their trusty frying pan

EATING RAOUL (1982). Director: Paul Bartel. Written by Bartel and Richard Blackburn.

"Horrible, sex-crazed maniacs that no one would miss!"

"Do you think you can buy another frying pan? I'm just a little queasy about cooking in the one we use to kill people."

Conservative wine seller Paul Bland (Paul Bartel) and his nurse-wife Mary (Mary Woronov) are aghast at their huge rent increase, as well as the antics of the won't-take-no-for-an-answer swingers who live and/or party in their Hollywood building. Having already killed off a man who was trying to have his way with Mary, the couple hit upon the idea of advertising for swingers and murdering them for their money, batting every "pervert" on the head with a frying pan. But a shady locksmith  named Raoul (Robert Beltran) figures out what the Blands are doing and wants his cut -- only he's less interested in the money than he is in the bodies! This very dark comedy is completely absorbing and sick, and also highly amusing, if not for every -- pardon me -- taste. Neither of the two leads are exactly highly-skilled comic actors [although Woronov had a funny bit on the TV show Wings years later], but other than that they are well-cast. Woronov is at least professional, but Bartel really isn't much of an actor. Buck Henry certainly scores as the lecherous Mr. Leech, from whom Mary tries to get a loan; Susan Saiger is terrific as a friendly dominatrix; Edie McClurg makes the most of a bit as a bisexual swinger; and Ed Begley Jr. shows up as another wannabee client of the Blands. Beltran, who later had a significant role on Star Trek: Voyager, is excellent as Raoul. At the core Eating Raoul is a study of ultimate hypocrisy, as the Blands' activities are much, much worse than that of the swingers' they abhor.

Verdict: Certainly a different bill of fare. ***.

DEATHTRAP

DEATHTRAP (1982). Director: Sidney Lumet. Based on the Broadway play by Ira Levin.

"I'll tell you how good it is -- even a gifted director can't hurt it."

If only ... Playwright Sidney Bruhl (Michael Caine) is dismayed when his latest offering is trashed by the critics, even though his faithful and wealthy wife Myra (Dyan Cannon) remains his biggest booster. When he reads a play written by Clifford Anderson (Christopher Reeve), a student of his, Bruhl hatches a plot to steal away the script anyway he can. But things are a little more complicated than at first they seem. Caine and Cannon are superb, and Reeve offers one of his best performances, but while the film is entertaining and has a few twists, the characters remain one-dimensional and the film is, ultimately, just a psycho-sexual stunt. A better writer could have made something out of the generational difference between two of the protagonists and their perhaps divergent attitudes toward their sexuality -- all of which seems thrown in just for some added "shock" value and is never explored with any depth or intelligence. [Even in 1982 a film that basically traded off "nasty queers" was pretty dated; meaning the movie was hardly "hip" as its makers must have thought] Irene Worth is irritating as a psychic neighbor, but Henry Jones is, as usual, adept as Bruhl's lawyer. Lumet turns in one of his better directorial jobs although he's certainly no Hitchcock.

Verdict: Not as much fun as it sounds. **.

ANNIE

ANNIE (1982). Director: John Huston.

In 1932 Manhattan, a little orphan named Annie (Aileen Quinn) who lives in a home run by the nasty Miss Hannigan (Carol Burnett) is chosen to spend a day with the super-wealthy Oliver Warbucks (Albert Finney). But there's trouble afoot when Miss Hannigan's brother (Tim Curry) and gal (Bernadette Peters) -- along with Hannigan -- concoct a scheme to kidnap Annie for cash. Based on the Broadway hit, this is a good, old-fashioned musical comedy served up with flair and bolstered by excellent performances and a tuneful and memorable score. ("You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile" is probably the best number, although "Tomorrow" is more famous.) Little Quinn is marvelous; a very funny Burnett nearly steals the picture as Hannigan, and Ann Reinking is effervescent as Warbuck's singing and dancing secretary. Peters and Curry are also wonderful, as is Lois de Banzie as Eleanor Roosevelt. Although Albert Finney is woefully miscast as Warbucks, he givers it the old college try and does have a terrific sequence with Burnett. The splendid Reinking also appeared in Movie, Movie, Micki + Maude and All That Jazz, but did not have many non-Broadway credits.

Verdict: Very entertaining movie with Burnett in top form. ***1/2.

THE VERDICT

THE VERDICT (1982). Director: Sidney Lumet.

Lawyer Frank Galvin (Paul Newman) takes a medical malpractice case -- the wrong anesthetic was administered -- even though he was offered a settlement and the hospital is owned by the Catholic church. Initially he wants a chance to salvage his wrecked career, but eventually he comes to the conclusion that his comatose client deserves to be fought for. James Mason is great as opposing counsel, and Jack Warden scores as Galvin's associate, Mickey Morrissey. Charlotte Rampling is, as usual, the ice princess to end all ice princesses, and walks through the movie -- again as usual -- with one expression. Newman gives a solid performance. But somehow this never quite becomes the explosive classic you might have hoped for.

Verdict: Okay, but nothing really special. **1/2.

THE THING (1982)

THE THING (aka John Carpenter's The Thing/1982). Director: John Carpenter. 

The second film version of John W. Campbell's creepy science fiction/horror story "Who Goes There?" In a science base in Antarctica, a thawed out creature from outer space disguises itself as a dog and then as various humans while the paranoid men try to figure out which of them is human and which is the monster. The acting is good for the most part -- although Disney star turned action hero Kurt Russell sometimes acts as if he'd rather go take a nap than anything else -- and the effects are often outstanding, but the characters in Bill Lancaster's screenplay are not likable people you feel like rooting for. None of them express the slightest sympathy for the victims of the creature, or even seem to have any feelings of friendship for one another. Carpenter misses all opportunities for humanism as well. A bigger problem is that the film at times seems like a silly burlesque, and the humor works against the tension of the piece. The bit with the defibrillator and the spider-head is marvelous stuff, however. Rob Bottin's make up effects are very effective. Ennio Morricone's dull electronic throbbing isn't much of a score, however, hardly worthy of a paycheck. Wilfred Brimley makes an impression as Doctor Blair, who realizes how serious the situation is, and Donald Moffat [who has the bushiest, whitest, and most untrimmed eyebrows in Hollywood] and Richard Dysart are as reliable as ever. There are other good supporting performances as well. 

Verdict: Essentially mindless schlock but often effective for what it is. **1/2.

SUPERSTITION

SUPERSTITION (1982). Director: James W. Roberson.

A priest (James Houghton) becomes involved with a haunted house where a witch in the guise of a little girl is murdering off anyone who dares to come into the place. There's lots of action in the picture, but most of it is to little effect. There are, however, some modestly creative gore scenes. We've got the head-in-the-microwave business [see photo], and a very inventive business when a flying saw bloodily spritzes its way through the body of another priest. Despite all the gruesomeness, the movie is kind of boring. Houghton isn't much of an actor, although this led into a brief role on Knot's Landing. Albert Salmi is more on the mark as the police inspector on the case.

Verdict: Be careful what you put in the microwave. **.

MURDER BY PHONE

MURDER BY PHONE (1982). Director: Michael Anderson. 

When the daughter of friends is found dead in the subway under highly mysterious circumstances, Nat Bridger (Richard Chamberlain in a great beard) investigates and discovers that the pay phone the girl was talking on was damaged by some kind of fiery or electrical disturbance. Before long various people taking phone calls are having their brains fried by weird sounds and impulses coming from their phones, impulses so strong that one poor man is sent hurtling out of his chair and through the window of a skyscraper! Is the phone company trying to cover up that some maniac is using new technology to send lethal electrical waves across phone lines? What do you think? Bridger joins forces with an artist (Sara Botsford) who tries to help him get inside information. This is a fairly effective thriller with a novel idea, even if the killer's exact motives are never quite clarified. John Houseman appears as another friend of Bridger's who has a connection to the phone company. The eerie, jangling score was done by John Barry of Out of Africa and James Bond fame; an unusual assignment for him that hardly makes use of his romantic sensibility. Busy actress Botsford also appeared in Deadly Eyes, Tremors 4 and the remake of The Fog. 

Verdict: It may not keep you off the phone but it should hold your attention. **1/2.

GREASE 2

GREASE 2 (1982). Director: Patricia Birch.

Okay. I came back from an extended trip out of town and a friend says to me, “Come up to the Ziegfeld theater, there's a picture playing there that I really enjoyed and I want you to see.” I was shocked to find out that the film was Grease 2. “You liked that!” I said. “I didn't even like Grease. It doesn't sound like your cup of tea at all.” Nevertheless we got in a cab and went up to the Ziegfeld, and to my great surprise I liked the damn thing, too! In fact, a few days later when we couldn't find a movie we both wanted to see one of us said to the other, “Hell – let's get in a cab and go up and see Grease 2 again.” And we did.
The way this sequel to Grease was mercilessly excoriated by the critics, you would think that the original movie was Citizen Kane. In truth, Grease 2 is a very entertaining and absolutely charming musical that features an attractive cast, some snappy numbers, and a lot of zesty pop-style choreography. Yes, it's as mindless as your average Archie comic book, and it's “message” [if you can even call it that] – become “cool,” disguise your true intelligence, and everyone will like you – is obnoxious, but no one ever said this stuff was supposed to be taken seriously. Perhaps the problem for some critics was that it was directed by a woman, and a choreographer at that.
The plot is simple. London exchange student Michael Carrington (Maxwell Caulfield) comes to Rydell High and falls for “pink lady” Stephanie (Michelle Pfeiffer) who is in the midst of breaking up with the leader of the T-Birds, Johnny (Adrian Zmed). Leaning she likes dark and dangerous guys, Michael practices on a motorcycle and develops the secret identity of the “cool rider” she's been looking for. After assorted misadventures, Stephanie learns the truth, she and Michael come together, and Johnny winds up with the plump but pretty Paulette (Lorna Luft). Pfeiffer, in one of her earliest roles, gives a convincing “light” portrait of a pretty if doomed girl of the lower class, and interprets her song numbers well. Caulfield is also good as her handsome leading man – intelligent-looking enough to be convincing as an excellent student and sexy enough to work in the guise of the cool rider. He can't really sing, but he manages to get through his numbers anyway. Lorna Luft almost steals the picture as Paulette, and there are many other flavorful performances, especially Eve Arden as the principal with her priceless facial expressions. [“I'm a little worried. I missed my last two periods,” says one pretty student. To which Arden replies: “That's okay. You can make them up after school.”
The songs were contributed by a number of people, but all of them capture the feel of the period in style, although their lyrics tend to be much more clever than those of actual sixties pop songs. Tab Hunter delivers a number about “Reproduction” to his class, who join in with joyful and vulgar abandon. The dancing, such as in the excellent opening production number “Back to School Again,” sung by the Four Tops, is also sexier than the fancy footwork of the period, but who cares? The sinewy Adrian Zmed shimmies his way through “Score” and “Prowlin'” and Peter Frechette tries to bed a cute colleen even as she thinks he's only going off to war in “Do It for Your Country.” Maureen Teefy, Leif Greene, Alison Price and Christopher McDonald [the quizmaster in Quiz Show] make the most of their smaller roles. Underneath the light touch there are some recognizable character types and the script is full of funny lines and situations. The final number, "We'll Be Together," celebrates enduring friendship and love and is a genuinely nice tune as well.
Verdict: This is really not bad at all. ***.