DUFFY'S TAVERN

Ed Gardner

DUFFY'S TAVERN (1945). Director: Hal Walker.

Archie (Ed Gardner), the manager of the old-fashioned saloon Duffy's tavern, has hired 14 soldiers as waiters in the owner's absence because the record factory where they worked has closed down. O'Malley (Victor Moore) tries to raise money to reopen the factory but the bank won't extend him credit. His daughter, Peggy (Marjorie Reynolds of Up in Mabel's Room), meets and falls for one of the out of work soldiers, Danny (Barry Sullivan), not knowing that Archie is in love with her. Archie finally gets the idea of getting celebrities from a nearby hotel to put on a show and raise the needed capital. Archie acts as master of ceremonies, introducing sketches and song numbers with such guest artists as Betty Hutton, Brian Donlevy, Alan Ladd, Veronica Lake, and other performers from Paramount studios. 

Billy DeWolfe, Bing, and Betty Hutton

I can imagine how the public must have felt back in 1945 when they went to see a film allegedly starring Bing Crosby, and Der Bingle doesn't even show up until after 80 minutes into the running time! Instead we are treated to dull alleged comedy from Ed Gardner and Victor Moore, one of the unfunniest pairings in film history. Gardner had starred in the radio show Duffy's Tavern, and this picture was a film adaptation; ten years later Gardner starred in a TV sitcom of the same title. Based on his performance in this movie, I can see why Gardner has been completely forgotten -- he also contributed to the largely unfunny screenplay. He might be better known as Shirley Booth's first husband. 

Buck-toothed and brassy: Cass Daley

The last third of the film is somewhat of an improvement although much of it is also nearly unwatchable. Betty Hutton hollers her way through one number, and her less attractive clone Cass Daley (of Red Garters) also screams through a similar number -- both women lamenting the lack of interest they inspire in men. (The question is did Hutton rip off Daley or vice versa?) A terrific dance team temporarily lifts the audience's spirits and there's a quick, mildly amusing sketch with Paulette Goddard, Sonny Tufts, and Brian Donlevy.  The finale features Bing Crosby, first in a cute bio of his life with special guest-stars, and then his rendition of "Swingin' on a Star" with Dorothy Lamour and others joining in. The other generally forgettable songs are by Burke and van Heusen. This is one of the worst of the all-star studio films. Star Spangled Rhythm was a far superior Paramount compendium. 

Verdict: Put on any show but this one! **. 

WE'RE NOT MARRIED

Wedded bliss? Fred Allen and Ginger Rogers

WE'RE NOT MARRIED (1952). Director: Edmund Goulding.

"I'll say one thing about our marriage. If there's such a thing as an unjackpot, I've hit it!" -- Ramona

Five couples who were married by a dithering Justice of the Peace (Victor Moore) discover that the man's license only went into affect after the new year, so that their marriages are invalid. Those affected include radio show hosts Ramona and Steven Gladwyn (Ginger Rogers and Fred Allen), who hate each other and only speak during the show; Katie and Hector Woodruff (Eve Arden and Paul Douglas), who have gotten into a rut; Annabel and Jeff Norris (Marilyn Monroe and David Wayne), who have an adorable baby boy; Patsy and Wilson Fisher (Mitzi Gaynor and Eddie Bracken), who are expecting a child; and Eve and Fred Melrose (Zsa Zsa Gabor and Louis Calhern), who are facing an expensive divorce -- for Fred. 

Gabor, Louis Calhern, Paul Stewart

Although there are a few laugh-out-loud moments, We're Not Married has a very insufficient screenplay. Some of the stories have such flat endings that you wondered why anyone even bothered. It also makes no sense to team the adorable Marilyn Monroe -- whose appearances virtually amount to a cameo! -- with the bland and utterly sexless David Wayne; they hardly set the screen on fire. The best episode has lawyer Paul Stewart dictating divorce terms to Louis Calhern, then a certain letter arrives in the mail, but even this segment is completely predictable. For me it doesn't help that Eddie Bracken happens to be one of my least favorite actors ever, although his typically whiny performance is adequate. Calhern, Rogers and others are wasted in this piffle, which could have been a really strong picture with a much, much better screenplay. Fred Allen was once a very popular comedian, although he's virtually forgotten today. Movies like this didn't help.

Verdict: A lot of good actors with generally disappointing material. **1/2.

ZIEGFELD FOLLIES

Kelly, Astaire and Garland

ZIEGFELD FOLLIES (1945). Director: Vincente Minellli.

9 years after he starred as The Great Ziegfeld, William Powell reprised his role of Flo Ziegfeld -- sort of. In the opening moments of Ziegfeld Follies, the great impresario is seen in Hollywood's idea of heaven pontificating on the Follies, and wondering what they would look like if the Follies still existed today. Voila! First puppetoons are used to depict the original Follies; then suddenly there's a stage and we see a series of acts with contemporary stars such as Lena Horne, Lucille Ball, Kathryn Grayson, Virginia O\Brian, and many others. After about half an hour the movie is almost stopped dead by a long and mostly unfunny skit with Keenan Wynn trying to make a phone call. A later sketch with Victor Moore as a man arrested for expectorating on the subway and Edward Arnold as his lawyer is much better, as is another sketch with Fanny Brice (who was actually in the original Follies) and Hume Cronyn as a couple who have a winning sweepstakes ticket and William Frawley as their landlord. A bit with Red Skelton playing a TV announcer who gets drunk reminds one of the later "Vitavegamin" routine on I Love Lucy. James Melton and Marion Bell sing a duet from La traviata, but are not that impressive. Fred Astaire [Royal Wedding] does two dance numbers with Lucille Bremer [Till the Clouds Roll By], but the highlight of the picture is his dance with Gene Kelly -- the only time the two danced together in the movies. The other highlight is Judy Garland playing an affected star in a production number with several handsome male dancers. Garland also appeared in Ziegfeld Girl.

Verdict: Although this has no story, it still manages to be entertaining. ***.

STAR SPANGLED RHYTHM

Dick Powell and Mary Martin

STAR SPANGLED RHYTHM (1942). Director: George Marshall.

"I just can't make it tonight -- Veronica Lake is going to show me her other eye. " -- Bob Hope.

In this all-star Paramount wartime picture, the main plot has to do with Johnny Webster (Eddie Bracken), a sailor on leave who comes to Hollywood with his buddies. Eddie's father was once "Bronco Billy" Webster (Victor Moore of Carolina Blues), star of silent pictures, but is now reduced to being a guard at the studio gate. Ashamed of this comedown, Billy has lied to his son and told him that he is head of the studio! Eddie's girlfriend, Polly (Betty Hutton of the "craptastic" Betty Hutton Show), helps "Pop" put over the deception but needs some big help from the stars when Pop foolishly promises that his Paramount stars will put on a show for the sailor boys ... Star Spangled Rhythm has some slow stretches -- the whole second half consists almost entirely of acts, including one stop-the-movie-dead skit where four men play poker as if they were women -- but it also has its share of delights, including a hilarious bit when Polly enlists the aid of two men to help her get over the wall of the Paramount studio. Dick Powell and Mary Martin and an uncredited black group (the Mills Brothers?) do an excellent "Dreamtime" number on a train; there's a splendid and rather sexy production number called "Swing Shift" in a factory; and Eddie "Rochester" Anderson stars in another vibrant and all-Black dance number called "Sharp as a Tack." Dorothy Lamour, Veronica Lake, and Paulette Goddard spoof their images in "Sweater, Sarong, and Peekaboo Bang," and Sterling Holloway [Shake, Rattle & Rock], Walter Catlett and Arthur Treacher play the same ladies in drag. William Bendix has a funny shower scene with Bob Hope. Bracken, Hutton, and Moore are all on the money; Walter Abel scores as the real studio head, as does Anne Revere as his secretary; and Cecil B. Demille proves a perfectly adept actor playing himself. Cass Daley does her weird shtick, buck teeth and all. George Marshall keeps the pace fast and makes things visually interesting as well.

Verdict: Enjoyable romp. ***.

CAROLINA BLUES

CAROLINA BLUES (1944). Director: Leigh Jason.

"Is he dying of something serious?"

The irrepressible band leader Kay Kyser, playing himself, is back in another musical comedy and he's got Ish Kabibble and Ann Miller to play around with! The plot, such as it is, has Kay promising his band and singers a vacation but always discovering that there's another wartime commitment. Finally he resorts to pretending he's dying [a somewhat tasteless sub-plot] so that the gang will come back and perform. Another complication has it that Kay's favorite singer, the real Georgia Carroll, is going off to get married, and he's resistant to the idea of hiring Julie (Ann Miller), the daughter of supposedly wealthy Phineas Carver (Victor Moore), to replace her. [In real life Carroll married Kay Kyser!] Victor Moore not only plays Phineas but also all of his relatives, male and female, and there's a funny bit when we meet Ish Kabibble's family and all of them, including the dog, have the same bowl-over-the-head haircut. Kyser is likable and adept enough, Miller is enthusiastic and perky, the assorted singers and dancers are swell, the tunes are bouncy, and Moore [It Happened on Fifth Avenue] and Kabibble provide some laughs. What more could you ask for? Well ... Kyser and Kabibble were also in Around the World. Jason also directed Three Girls About Town and others.

Verdict: Amiable nonsense with music and a pleasant cast. ***.

IT HAPPENED ON FIFTH AVENUE

IT HAPPENED ON FIFTH AVENUE (1947). Director: Roy Del Ruth.

Aloysius T. McKeever (Victor Moore) is a bum who lives in boarded up mansions while the owners are away for the season. His latest domicile is the Fifth Avenue mansion of Michael O'Connor (Charles Ruggles). A new interloper in the mansion is a homeless soldier, Jim (Don DeFore), and through him a couple of families with children who also need a place to stay. Popping into the mansion for a coat is O'Connor's daughter, Trudy (Gale Storm), who doesn't tell anyone who she is, and when her father and divorced mother (Ann Harding) show up, swears them to secrecy as well. So the world's richest man pretends to be a bum while a hobo dines on his food and wears his clothing ... only in Hollywood! It Happened on Fifth Avenue is meant to be a frothy, hilarious social comedy, but it falls utterly flat. First of all, no movie can convince anyone that it's better to be a homeless hobo than to have money and security -- of course O'Connor is the stereotype of the rich man who has lost touch with real values -- and the film is miscast and not very funny. Don DeFore could be fine in certain roles such as in Too Late for Tears, but he's not exactly Cary Grant. Pretty Gale Storm is equally competent, but this was before she developed a real flair for comedy as on My Little Margie. Victor Moore and Charlie Ruggles are old pros, as is Ann Harding [The Unknown Man], who is pretty much wasted as Trudy's mother; all are given sub-standard material. Grant Mitchell of The Man Who Came to Dinner is his customary tight-assed self. Alan Hale Jr. [Advance to the Rear], later of Gilligan's Island, is fine as one of Jim's soldier buddies. Although Gale Storm could sing and even cut some recordings in later years, her singing voice is dubbed in this.

Verdict: Almost like watching paint dry. *1/2.