ALL MY YESTERDAYS: EDWARD G. ROBINSON

ALL MY YESTERDAYS: An Autobiography. Edward G. Robinson with Leonard Spigelgass. Hawthorne; 1973.

"For male actors it is possible, though not easy, to slip gradually from leading man into character roles. For me, it just came naturally, since I was never Tab Hunter ..."

In this posthumously published autobiography, the great actor, who became a star with Little Caesar, writes frankly of his life and career and relationships with friends, actors and other co-workers. He gives candid, honest -- but not mean-spirited -- assessments of such co-stars as Bette Davis and Kay Francis, and describes his love of art and how he set out amassing his great collection of masterpieces. He also writes about the brutal days when he was unfairly accused of being a communist. Robinson died before he could complete his recollections, so the book was finished by his collaborator Spigelgass, who provides some interesting footnotes and a compilation of Robinson's opinions on various subjects. He also writes of Robinson's divorce, how he lost most of his great art treasures, and his troubled relationship with his only son.

Verdict: Compelling reading from a great star and superb thespian. ****.

THE DAY OF THE JACKAL

THE DAY OF THE JACKAL (1973). Director: Fred Zinnemann. Based on the novel by Frederick Forsythe.

In 1962 French President DeGaulle has been targeted for assassination by the terrorist group OAS because of the issue of Algerian independence, which he supports. Since DeGaulle is heavily guarded and many of the members of the OAS are well-known to the government, the group decides it would be safer to bring in an outsider and foreigner, and hire a contract killer who becomes known as the Jackal (Edward Fox of The Mirror Crack'd). The film details this sociopath's meticulous planning even as French officials convene under the direction of the Minister (Alan Badel of Salome) and assign Commissioner Lebel (Michael Lonsdale) to track him down. Using his quick wits and ruthless nature, the Jackal manages to stay one step ahead of the police, until they figure just when the man is going to strike. But will they be able to prevent disaster? Obviously, they do, but the interest in the film is in exactly how the Jackal will be stopped and when. 

     

Michael Lonsdale

The Day of the Jackal proceeds almost like a documentary. It has no real musical score (until the closing credits) and hasn't much style. There is one memorable sequence in which the Jackal murders a man whom he meets in a Turkish bath. This is handled in a low-key, matter-of-fact fashion that makes it all the more chilling. (The assassin is shown having sex with a woman he picks up, but whether or not he gets it on with the guy is left to the imagination, although he does apparently spend the night.) Edward Fox really isn't given a lot to sink his teeth into as his character is virtually unemotional and is given no real background or identity, but he manages to make a positive impression in spite of it. The other actors, mostly unknown, are all professional and adept. Jackal is one of those movies that keeps you perfectly absorbed even as you think afterward that it wasn't all that great. There's no real nail-biting suspense to the film. The only familiar faces in this, besides Lonsdale (who was later the villain in Moonraker), are Derek Jacobi [Breaking the Code] as his assistant, Caron, Jean Sorel [Sandra] as Bastien-Thiry, an OAS man who is executed at the opening of the film, and perhaps Delphine Seyrig, as Collette, a wealthy married woman who dallies with the Jackal and comes to regret it. 

Verdict: It entertains, but it sure could have used a musical score. **3/4. 

ASH WEDNESDAY

Lovely Liz

ASH WEDNESDAY (1973). Produced by Dominick Dunne. Directed by Larry Peerce. 

Sixtyish Barbara Sawyer (Elizabeth Taylor) fearing that her husband, Mark (Henry Fonda), will leave her for a younger playmate, goes to Switzerland and has cosmetic surgery (graphically depicted) to make her look like -- gorgeous, 41-year-old Liz Taylor! After the bandages come off, Barbara goes to the resort of Cortina, Italy, staying in a fabulous hotel and wearing expensive fashions. She also turns the head of a playboy named Erich (Helmut Berger, again miscast as a heterosexual). Should Barbara succumb to her romantic feelings for Erich, and what will Mark think of her new look when he finally arrives in Cortina. She may learn that her marriage had more problems than her aged appearance ... 

Helmut Berger

With its superficial and one-dimensional characters, one really has to wonder why anyone thought making this movie was a good idea. Sure, lots of people might have loved looking at glamorous Liz (although probably not at distasteful surgery), but an actual  story might have helped. Half of the movie is taken up by scenes at the clinic, and the surgery sequence seems to last as long as the actual operation. When Barbara/Liz puts on her sweeping ultra-chic winter coat/robe that looks like it must have cost a thousand dollars, the film just suddenly seems to turn into a comical parody. Taylor's performance is generally on target, although it's not one of her best. Helmut Berger is Helmut Berger and doesn't really have to act just look enigmatic. Fonda is actually good in this -- his assorted reactions are perfect -- and Margaret Blye [The Entity] is fine as their daughter, Katie. Keith Baxter adds some zest as David, a (possibly gay?) fashion photographer who is also getting work done and befriends Barbara at the clinic and elsewhere. Monique van Vooren [What Makes Sammy Run?] plays a German celebrity who briefly chats with David at the clinic. 

Verdict: Another entry in the "Oh, how the rich suffer!" sweepstakes! **1/4. 

LUDWIG

Helmut Berger as King Ludwig II

LUDWIG (1973). Director: Luchino Visconti. Original four-hour Italian version.

"The greatest gift you can give to your people is to enrich their souls." -- King Ludwig II

King Ludwig II of Bavaria (Helmut Berger of The Bloodstained Butterfly) has much more interest in art, culture, and architecture than he does in matters of state. Supposedly in love with his cousin, the Empress Elisabeth of Austria (Romy Schneider), he gets engaged to Elisabeth's sister, Sophie (Sonia Petrovna). Elisabeth suspects where her cousin's true interests lie, but feels that Ludwig will grow out of these feelings with Sophie's help; the two never get married, however. Ludwig is Catholic and tells his priest that he will subdue any "unnatural" feelings he has, right after which he is playing footsie with his footman, Richard Horning (Marc Porel). Whether it's the King's erotic tendencies or the alleged "degeneration" of his mind that are the problem, the members of the Bavarian government are determined to get "Mad" King Ludwig out of his castle. This leads to two deaths that are still a mystery today.

The real King Ludwig

Ludwig is a fascinating look at a fascinating historical figure. Although quite Wagnerian in length, the film is never boring (something you can't say about every Visconti film), although cuts could have been made in the second half. Berger, dubbed by Giancarlo Giannini, plays the role with his customary intensity -- alas his hairstyle looks better on the real Ludwig than on Berger --  and there are also good performances from Romy Schneider (reprising her role from the Sissi films) and John Moulder-Brown (of The House That Screamed) as the ill-fated Prince Otto, Ludwig's younger brother. Also notable are Helmut Griem (who screwed both Liza Minelli and Michael York in Cabaret) as Count Durckheim and Trevor Howard as Richard Wagner. (Opera fans owe Ludwig a great debt as his financial assistance helped the great composer finish his Ring cycle.) Silvana Mangano is cast as Wagner's mistress and later wife, Cosima. 

There is no doubt that Ludwig was homosexual, but whether he was "tormented" or not, despite his Catholicism, is debatable. I believe his alleged romantic love for Elisabeth  -- which is like that of a child -- was invented for this film, as Visconti wanted his hero to be at least perceived as bisexual, be it true or not, for the director's own reasons. (As for Helmut Berger, he was married to both a man and a woman so you can come to your own conclusions. He was Visconti's companion for many years.) 

The king and squire at rest

Some might be disappointed that the homoerotic content in the film is rather limited. The gay love scene mentioned above is in the shadows and very brief, and there is an all-male party (left) which could hardly be called an orgy. 

Ludwig was filmed on location and the settings are simply magnificent. The movie doesn't always hit the mark emotionally, but it is literate, opulent, romantic, and generally tasteful. King Ludwig was criticized for building numerous beautiful castles, most of which he never lived in, but today they are great tourist attractions and have certainly enriched the Bavarian coffers. 

Verdict: My next vacation will be in Bavaria. ***1/4. 

NOTHING BUT THE NIGHT

Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee

NOTHING BUT THE NIGHT (1973). Director: Peter Sasdy.                                                            

A number of trustees of the Van Traylen Orphanage on the island of Bela are dying in suspicious accidents. Then a bus crash puts one of the orphans, Mary Valley (Gwyneth Strong), in the hospital, where she is ministered to by Dr. Haynes (Keith Barron) and a reporter named Joan (Georgia Brown), both of whom have to contend with the girl's abusive and crazy mother, Anna (Diana Dors). Eventually Colonel Bingham (Christopher Lee) of the police and Sir Mark Ashley (Peter Cushing), a concerned doctor, head for Bela to find out exactly what is going on in the orphanage and check up on Mary. But the homicidal Anna is heading there as well, yet Mrs. Allison (Shelagh Fraser) and the other staff take it, strangely, in stride and even refuse special police guards. Bingham and Ashley discover that what's going on in the orphanage is even more horrible than they suspect ... 

Georgia Brown and Peter Cushing

With its two special stars, an adept supporting cast (especially Valley, Brown and Dors), an interesting premise, not to mention a skilled director in Peter Sasdy, Nothing But the Night -- which is not a Hammer production, unfortunately -- should be much better than it is. Unfortunately, the movie is lethargic -- there is no tension or suspense and you find yourself merely watching to see what happens instead of getting caught up in the events. There is a fairly exciting climax when all is revealed, but by then it's too late. Too bad. Georgia Brown, who is very good in this, first made her mark playing Nancy in the musical Oliver in both London and New York, but she wasn't in the film adaptation. Cushing and Lee were frequently teamed together, such as in Dr. Terror's House of Horrors, The Curse of Frankenstein, and The Skull, among several others.

Verdict: An interesting failure. **. 

THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA

Christopher Lee as Dracula

THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA (1973). Director: Alan Gibson.

Dracula (Christopher Lee) is alive and well and masquerading as the Howard Hughes-like millionaire recluse Denham. When his nemesis, Van Helsing (Peter Cushing), learns that Dracula has joined together a group of prominent men into a satanic cult, and that one of them, Professor Keeley (Freddie Jones of Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed) has grown cultures of bubonic plague -- the "Black Death' -- he postulates that Dracula wants to end all life on earth and realize final peace. By Van Helsing's side are his granddaughter Jessica (Joanna Lumley) and Inspector Murray (Michael Coles), who break into a sinister estate from which the cult operates and find themselves in a cellar full of slavering vampire women! The Satanic Rites Of Dracula, which takes place in modern times, is one of the better latter-day Hammer Dracula offerings, with both Lee and Cushing expert in their portrayals, and with top-notch supporting performances as well. This is bolstered by an intriguing plot line, although the use of nasty motorcycle thugs as the cult's assassins and the like is a notion that doesn't always work too well. As much as I love Bela Lugosi, I think Lee makes the more commanding Dracula. This was Lee's last appearance as the traditional Dracula in a Hammer film, although he also played the Lord of the Undead in the 1976 comedy Dracula and Son. Alan Gibson also directed the thriller Crescendo.

Verdict: Pretty terrific Hammer flick. ***.

A COLD NIGHT'S DEATH

Robert Culp and Eli Wallach

A COLD NIGHT'S DEATH (1973 telefilm). Director: Jerrold Freedman.

A man named Vogel is conducting high altitude tests on primates for the space program at the Tower Mountain research station. When he begins sending messages that appear to be gibberish, Frank Enari (Eli Wallach) and Robert Jones (Robert Culp) -- accompanied by another test chimp -- are sent to investigate. They find Vogel frozen to death with a look of horror on his face, but they can't understand how he wound up in this condition when he could have easily gotten out of the frigid room. Other strange things begin to happen, creating an atmosphere of suspicion and paranoia among the two arguing men. Jones seems to have figured out what may be going on, but Enari can't accept it, and it's a question of just who is experimenting on whom. A Cold Night's Death is a very memorable telefilm with two excellent performances by Wallach [The Hoax] and Culp [Calendar Girl Murders] and a decided feeling of claustrophobia and creepiness. Christopher Knopf, who co-wrote the screenplay for 20 Million Miles to Earth, has fashioned a unique story that is both suspenseful and harrowing, and it also has a very clever and darkly amusing wind-up. Freedman, whose directorial assignments were mostly for television, does a good job building tension. Michael C. Gwynne has a small part as a helicopter pilot at the beginning and is effective.

Verdict: Monkey see, monkey do. ***1/2.

THE CAT CREATURE

Gale Sondergaard and Meredith Baxter

THE CAT CREATURE (1973 telefilm). Director: Curtis Harrington.

Joe Sung (Keye Luke) steals a cat-medallion from a recently opened Egyptian casket, and begins a chain of deaths from a clawed creature that counts him among its victims. The trail leads to Hester Black (Gale Sondergaard), a shady lady who runs an occult shop. Lt March (Stuart Whitman of Eaten Alive), aided by egyptologist Roger Edmonds (David Hedison of The Lost World), investigates the case, which also embroils Hester's new assistant, Rena Carter (Meredith Baxter). While it's fun at first seeing such veteran actors as Kent Smith [Cat People], John Carradine, Luke, Milton Parsons (as a coroner, naturally), and especially an excellent and criminally wasted Sondergaard [The Letter], The Cat Creature is pretty bad, with one of Robert Bloch's least inspired scripts. Tabbie cats are not exactly fearsome animals, for one thing. "Peter Lorre Jr." -- actually a man named Eugene Weingand who pretended to be Lorre's son -- has a small role as a murdered pawnbroker. Baxter is given a pretty embarrassing role to play.

Verdict: Great to see Sondergaard still in top form, but the movie is terrible. *1/2. 

SCREAM PRETTY PEGGY

Bette Davis

SCREAM PRETTY PEGGY (1973 telefilm). Director: Gordon Hessler. An ABC Movie of the Week.

Peggy Johns (Sian Barbara Allen) is a college student who takes a part-time job as a housekeeper for the aged, tippling Mrs. Elliott (Bette Davis) and her sculptor son, Jeffrey (Ted Bessell). Jeffrey tells the very curious -- indeed nosy and rather pushy -- Peggy that his sister, Jennifer, is insane and living in an apartment above the garage. A barely-seen female sneaks out at night to puncture people with a knife. George Thornton (Charles Drake of The Pretender) comes looking for his missing daughter and also encounters "Jennifer." Very aggressive Peggy makes up her mind to find out what's going on even though she hasn't got a clue. Scream Pretty Peggy, co-written by Jimmy Sangster, has some interesting, if unoriginal, macabre elements to it, but the ending is painfully obvious almost from the start, and Bessell [Billie] is given the most embarrassing role of his career, although his performance is better than you might expect. Allen is overly perky, but competent, and Davis phones in her performance aside from her well-delivered final speech. A far cry from Hush ... Hush, Sweet Charlotte indeed. Hessler's direction provides little help although the pic is entertaining enough.

Verdict: Fun to see Davis but this is a bit of a "drag." **1/2.

THE GIRL MOST LIKELY TO ...

Ugly Duckling: Stockard Channing

THE GIRL MOST LIKELY TO ... (1973 telefilm). Director: Lee Philips. Co-written by Joan Rivers.

Miriam Knight (Stockard Channing) is a bright, energetic young woman with a great sense of humor who has, unfortunately, committed the crime of being unattractive. She is cruelly taunted by men and women alike, but when a twist of fate offers her an opportunity to become good-looking, she uses her new appearance to take revenge on her tormentors. The Girl Most Likely To ... is a black comedy that greatly benefits from the performance of an excellent Channing [The Truth About Jane], who continued to show off her acting chops in role after role on screen and on stage later on. As the movie is played for laughs and is often quite funny, one can ignore the fact that Miriam becomes slightly sociopathic and doesn't seem to care about any innocents who may become embroiled in her schemes, but it's fun, frankly, to see her abusers get their just desserts and then some. Ed Asner [Gunn] is also terrific as a cop investigating the murders, and Susanne Zenor makes an impression as Miriam's roommate, who has a horrendous voice to go along with her bosomy blondness. Warren Berlinger, Fred Grandy, Ruth McDevitt, Larry Wilcox, and Joe Flynn, among others, also have nice turns in the pic. The film scores points for making trenchant observations about the dark side of human nature in a humorous fashion that never quite disguises the understandable bitterness underneath,. Director Lee Philips was also an actor [Peyton Place]; most of his acting and directorial assignments were for television.

Verdict: The worm turns ... ***.

SEVEN DEATHS IN THE CATS EYE

Jane Birkin and Hiram Keller

SEVEN DEATHS IN THE CATS EYE (aka La morte negli occhi del gatto/aka Seven Dead in the Cat's Eye/1973). Director: Anthony M. Dawson (Antonio Margheriti).

Lady Alicia (Dana Ghia) is afraid that she may lose her beloved ancestral Scottish castle, Dragonstone, but her sister, Mary (Francoise Christophe), refuses to help her financially -- better to sell the rat-infested estate, she thinks. Alicia's niece, Corringa (Jane Birkin), comes for a visit and finally meets her kissing cousin, James (Hiram Keller), who at least has the reputation of being a little crazy -- he keeps a killer ape that escaped from the zoo as a pet! After Lady Mary is murdered, Corringa fears that her mother will rise from her grave as a vampire because the family cat followed her into the tomb. Meanwhile there are more murders, with anyone and everyone being a suspect, including the cat, who dispassionately watches everything as she slithers about the castle. Seven Deaths is a half-baked dubbed Italian horror film which has some atmosphere, but very little style, and the various murders are treated routinely. Hiram Keller [Fellini Satyricon] has presence as the not-so-mad James, and the other performances are more or less adept. References to Sigmund Freud being alive indicate that this takes place in the 19th century, but you would never know it. At least the identity of the killer is a bit of a surprise. It's a pleasure to see Anton Diffring [The Man Who Could Cheat Death] in the cast as a doctor and Lady Alicia's lover, although he spends more time in the bed of French tutor, Suzanne (Doris Kunstmann).

Verdict: Paging Mario Bava or Dario Argento, either of whom could have probably made a much better movie. **.

WESTWORLD

Mr. Intense: Yul Brynner

WESTWORLD (1973). Written and directed by Michael Crichton.

The amusement park Delos, primarily for the very wealthy, offers something that even Disneyworld can't provide: incredibly lifelike robots who can interact -- and even have intercourse -- with the guests. Delos is divided into sections where guests can live out their fantasies: Westworld, Roman World, and Medieval World. Peter Martin (Richard Benjamin) and John Blane (James Brolin of The Car) check into the wild west and tangle with an intense, unfriendly gunslinger (Yul Brynner), who has little to say and seems to die quite easily -- at first. Things start going wrong at Delos and suddenly the robots aren't so compliant ... Westworld has a terrific (if probably not very original) idea, but its execution is hit or miss. There isn't much internal logic for one thing: why do the robots' guns have real bullets in them, and since you generally can't tell a human from a robot, can't a guest accidentally wind up injuring or killing another guest? There is some mild suspense at the climax, but this never really develops into much of anything. It certainly could have used a better script and a bigger budget. Yul Brynner has little dialogue but he easily walks off with the movie with his trademark intensity; Brolin is satisfactory; but Benjamin -- admittedly this material is not exactly Diary of a Mad Housewife -- mostly walks through the movie, but in the wrong way.  Jared Martin is a technician; Dick Van Patten a horny guest; and Majel Barrett [As Young As We Are] a madame. Followed by the film Futureworld, the TV series Beyond Westworld, and a 2016 HBO series.

Verdict: Somewhat entertaining but basically disappointing. **.

LOST HORIZON (1973)

Peter Finch seems to be asking: how did I get in this movie?

LOST HORIZON (1973). Director: Charles Jarrott. Produced by Ross Hunter.

A plane carrying several passengers, including peace envoy Richard Conway (Peter Finch) and his brother, George (Michael York), wind up kidnapped to a lamasery called Shangri-La in this musicalized remake of the 1937 Lost Horizon. Larry Kramer [The Normal Heart] seems to have ignored (or never read) the source novel and simply turned in a very slightly modified version of the original screenplay. For instance, in both film versions the two main male characters are brothers, which is not true in the novel. In the book the sole woman on the plane is a prissy missionary, while in both films she's a world-weary gal who's either dying or tired of living; in the color version she tries to commit suicide. This version eliminates a scene when Catherine (Liv Ullmann), who lives in Shangri-La, tells Richard how she wanted him brought to Shangri-La; in fact Ullmann gets few dramatic scenes. Olivia Hussy [Black Christmas] essays Maria (played by Margo in the first version) and is slightly more dimensional than in the original film. George Kennedy's character is very similar to Thomas Mitchell's, but Edward Everett Horton's comedy relief paleontologist has been replaced by an entertainer played by Bobby Van. James Shigeta has a very small role, while John Gielgud and Charles Boyer, of all people, are even better than the actors who played Chang and the High Lama, respectively, in the original film. All of the actors are quite good, in fact. And then there's the music.

Actually aside from a couple of numbers about to be mentioned, Burt Bacharach's score is not bad. His frequently dissonant dramatic music adds much to the picture, and the songs, which might be described as more like lyrical minor arias than show tunes, are generally lilting if on the downbeat side (which may be why so few liked them). Although Liv Ullmann [Cries and Whispers] sang on Broadway in Richard Rodgers I Remember Mama, her songs in this --  "The Circle" and a duet with Finch -- appear dubbed, and so is Finch. Sally Kellerman [Reflection of Fear] seems to be doing her own singing, but I'm not sure about Olivia Hussey when they do a creditable duet, "List of Things I Will Not Miss," in which the former tells of how glad she is to be away from civilization and the latter pines for all the places she's never been (if only more had been made of this aspect of the film). "Peaceful Joys" is a nice enough number, but the decided low-lights of the score include Kellerman's forgettable song, "Reflection," sung to George Kennedy, and Bobby Van's terrible "Question Me An Answer," which is not Van's fault but Bacharach's; this is one number that should have stayed inside his piano bench. Hal David contributed the awful lyrics. [One doesn't expect another "Getting to Know You," but this is just too much!]

The snow/adventure scenes in this are actually inferior to the ones in the original movie, although the trip to Shangri-La seems a bit more realistic. Essentially Lost Horizon in any form comes off like a paean to small-town mentalities, and the High Lama, who has people kidnapped to repopulate his dying city, is not much better than Fu Manchu. The biggest trouble with the movie isn't "Question Me an Answer" but the fact that in both movies -- and I daresay Hilton's novel -- none of the often interesting ideas are explored with any depth.

Verdict: The same length as the original film, although both seem twice as long. **.

PAPILLON

Dustin Hoffman and Steve McQueen

PAPILLON (1973). Director: Franklin J. Schaffner.

Henri Charriere (Steve McQueen), a safecracker known as Papillon (Butterfly) due to a tattoo on his chest, is convicted of murdering a pimp (a crime he insists he did not commit) and sent to a French penal colony. He becomes friends with counterfeiter Louis Dega (Dustin Hoffman) and the two start planning an escape. After several false starts and others joining the team, they manage to get out -- but their trials and tribulations are by no means over. Papillon, if I recall correctly, was a very big hit and a feel-good movie about the indominability of the human spirit. It is also very much a Hollywood movie that often tries to stay on a "light" level despite the grimness of the proceedings. At first McQueen just seems to be walking through his role -- and Hoffman hardly ever seems anything other than Dustin Hoffman in a prison skit -- but with the aid of effective make up he is more impressive in the later scenes. Papillon has to be taken with a grain of salt, as Charriere's memoirs, upon which the film is based, were later determined to be largely fictional; he was never on Devil's Island for instance. McQueen was forty-three when he did this picture, four years older than Charriere was when he made his final escape, although the actor is made up to look like a senior citizen and emotes that way as well; this is not only highly-fictionalized but on occasion plays like a parody. Victor Jory [Cat-Women of the Moon] plays an old Indian chief who wants his own tattoo; Anthony Zerbe is the leader of a colony of lepers; Bill Mumy ["It's A Good Life"] is a young convict who essentially commits suicide; Don Gordon [The Final Conflict], Woodrow Parfrey and Robert Deman are all other convicts who get involved in the big escape one way or another; they are all good. But Papillon, which holds the attention and has a few harrowing moments without ever being really riveting, gets its power not from the performances but from Fred J. Koenekamp's cinematography and Jerry Goldsmith's typically effective musical score.

 Verdict: Not any kind of masterpiece but Papillon's exhaustive efforts to gain his freedom eventually pull you along. ***.

FRANKENSTEIN: THE TRUE STORY

The Three faces of Michael Sarrazin

FRANKENSTEIN: THE TRUE STORY (1973 telefilm). Director: Jack Smight.

"Violence may be unavoidable, but clumsiness is inexcusable."

This re-imagining of the Frankenstein story certainly has an interesting cast, with James Mason stealing the picture as Dr. Polidori (an acquaintance of Mary Shelley's who was not in her novel, as well as the tragic author of The Vampyr). Leonard Whiting is Victor Frankenstein, with Michael Sarrazin [The Reincarnation of Peter Proud] as the creature. Jane Seymour [Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger] turns in sterling work as both Agatha, and Prima, sort of the Bride of Frankenstein, who falls to pieces in the film's grossest, most bravura sequence. Other notable performances come from David McCallum as Henri Clerval; Agnes Moorehead as Mrs. Blair; and Ralph Richardson as Mr. Lacey. The telefilm also employs the talents of John Gielgud, Tom Baker [The Vault of Horror], Michael Wilding, and Margaret Leighton, but even an impressive cast can't disguise the fact that this in no way compares to the original story. This is more akin to Marvel Comics than to Mary Shelley, and often borders on the burlesque.

Verdict: Fun enough for non-discriminating Frankenstein fans. **1/2.

THEATER OF BLOOD

Diana Rigg and Vincent Price

THEATER OF BLOOD (1973). Director: Douglas Hickox.

"A mumbling, incoherent boy who can barely grunt his way through a speech" -- Edward Lionheart.

"It's Lionheart all right. Only he wold have the temerity to rewrite Shakespeare." -- Devlin.

Actor Edward Lionheart (Vincent Price) supposedly committed suicide after losing the coveted Critics' Circle Award, but it turns out that he is still alive and killing off those same critics -- with the help of his daughter, Edwina (Diana Rigg) -- in ways related to Shakespeare's plays. Theater of Blood followed Price's Abominable Dr. Phibes and Dr. Phibes Rises Again and is similarly gruesome and playful -- not to mention revenge-motivated --  although perhaps not as much fun as the other pictures. Price is terrific as Lionheart, ably supported by Diana Rigg as his daughter. even if she isn't given much of a character to play. There are more than its share of over-the-top moments in this: a grotesque beheading sequence (from Cymberline) is an example of the blackest of black comedy; and the death of flamboyantly gay Meredith Merridew (Robert Morley), forced to devour his own "babies" (actually, beloved poodles) until he chokes on dog meat, as in Titus Andronicus, is unbelievably sadistic (not to mention rather homophobic). Speaking of gay stereotypes, the closeted Price has fun playing a campy hairdresser named "Butch" who fatally spit- curls critic Chloe Moon, played by Price's then-wife Coral Browne [The Legend of Lylah Clare], in a salon. Ian Hendry, Jack Hawkins [Land of the Pharaohs], Arthur Lowe, Michael Hordern, Robert Coote and Dennis Price [Your Past Is Showing] are all notable as assorted victims, as is Milo O'Shea as the baffled police inspector on the case, and Joan Hickson as the wife who wakes up with a headless corpse in her bed. One has to wonder: was Lionheart really as mediocre an actor as everyone says, or were the critics out to get him for one reason or another?

Verdict: One of the most diabolical and gruesome of revenge thrillers with many darkly amusing moments. *** out of 4.

SLITHER (1973)

SLITHER (1973). Director: Howard Zieff.

Dick Kanipsia (James Caan) is fresh out of prison and goes home with his jail buddy, Harry Moss (Richard B. Shull), who is promptly murdered. This leads Dick to go on a hunt for the man who knows where Moss left some considerable cash, leading him to Barry (Peter Boyle) and his wife, Mary, (Louise Lasser), who team up with him to find the man with the money. Added to the mix is Kitty (Sally Kellerman), a crazy lady who holds up a diner not long after she first meets Dick. But who is in that sinister black van that keeps following the quartet ... ? I have a feeling that Slither was originally meant to be a serious crime drama that was turned instead into a half-serious light-hearted quasi-caper movie without the caper. There's a touch of whimsy (not to mention immorality) to the movie, and it holds your attention, but it never really amounts to much. Caan [Games] is excellent, however, playing in just the right note; Boyle [Outland], Lasser, and Alan Garfield as a lawyer are also good, but Kellerman was still in that weird, off-putting mode she was in early in her career. There are a couple of laughs and some suspense of a minor kind. An ugly moment occurs when Kitty refers to a black character as "some dumb spade," an unnecessary slur even given the craziness of her character. Surely Kellerman, one of the stars of the movie, had enough clout at the time to insist on a change?

Verdict: Rather pointless when all is said and done. **1/2.

THE THIRD GIRL FROM THE LEFT

Kim Novak

THE THIRD GIRL FROM THE LEFT (1973 telefilm). Director: Peter Medak.

"If he cried for anyone, it was himself" -- Gloria

"Of course. Who else does anyone cry for?" -- Zimmy.

Gloria (Kim Novak) at 36 is known as the last of the New York City showgirls (Novak was actually forty). For thirteen years she has been involved with a frankly terrible but popular singer named Joey Jordan (Tony Curtis). Their marriage keeps being "postponed" for one reason or another. Even though Gloria is easily the most beautiful of the "girls," for the first time in her career she is told to stand in the back row instead of in front. She has an affair with a 24-year-old delivery boy named David (Michael Brandon of Four Flies on Grey Velvet), then Joey comes back from Las Vegas where he's been poking Melanie (Barbi Benton) ... The material was there for a decent picture, but The Third Girl from the Left doesn't quite work. Novak isn't terrible, but she's miscast in this, and while Curtis is more appropriate as a Las Vegas reptile, his character is also a cliche. Dory Previn, who wrote the script, was responsible for a number of sensitive songs with excellent music and lyrics on her albums -- although the theme song for this picture is not memorable --  but aside from some good dialogue now and then, this never really goes below the surface. The relationship between Gloria and David is never believable, with the latter coming off like some creepy witless stalker. The best impression is made by George Furth as Joey's manager, Zimmy. When Zimmy learns that the not-quite-bright Gloria was trying to commit suicide, he says "With an electric stove?" That old vulgarian Hugh Hefner was the executive producer of this, which is probably how his squeeze Barbi Benton wound up in the movie -- she's actually not bad although Kate Hepburn had nothing to worry about. Dory Previn was dumped by her husband Andre for the undernourished Mia Farrow, and wrote several songs about it. Judging from her lyrics, one would have hoped for a much better picture. Peter Medak also directed The Ruling Class and By the Pricking of My Thumbs.

Verdict: A nice idea that goes nowhere. **.

THE OUTFIT

Tom Reese and Duvall with Karen Black in the background

THE OUTFIT (1973). Director: John Flynn.

Earl Macklin (Robert Duvall) gets out of prison to discover that his brother was murdered. It seems the two of them knocked off a bank that was owned by the crime cartel, the "Outfit." Macklin decides to pay back and wage war on the Outfit by carrying out heists -- with his pal, Jack (Joe Don Baker) -- that will hit the Outfit where they live. His main antagonist is Outfit bigwig Mailer (Robert Ryan), who lives in a big mansion with bodyguards and has a fairly disinterested wife (Joanna Cassidy). The Outfit is loosely based on the third "Parker" novel by Richard Stark (Donald Westlake), a series of books in which a career criminal is the protagonist. [Another Parker adaptation was The Split.] Frankly, the book is much more entertaining than this indifferently directed "thriller" in which only Robert Ryan gives an especially memorable performance. Baker isn't bad, Karen Black [Trilogy of Terror] has her moments as Macklin's girl, and Duvall is Duvall. Sheree North [Mardi Gras] also has some flavorful moments as the wife of an associate, but Jane Greer isn't very good as Macklin's sister-in-law. Richard Jaeckal, Marie Windsor, and Henry Jones aren't on screen long enough to register much but are all effective. John Flynn also directed The Sergeant.

Verdict: Indifferent adaptation of a gritty Parker novel. **.

THE BABY

David Mooney (Manzy) and Ruth Roman

THE BABY (1973). Director: Ted Post.

Social worker Ann Gentry (Anjanette Comer) is a widow who lives with her mother-in-law, Judith (Beatrice Manley). She asks to be assigned to the case of the Wadsworth family, who live in a big rundown house and live off the money given them by the state for the care of a member they call "Baby." Although he has the mind of an infant and sleeps in a crib, Baby (David Mooney/Manzy) is actually a grown man. Ann comes to believe that his problem isn't true retardation, but that for some reason his mother (Ruth Roman) is holding him back developmentally. In the meantime Baby is poked with an electric prod by his sadistic sister Alba (Suzanne Zenor); his other sister Germaine (Marianna Hill of The Astral Factor) takes off her clothes and climbs into the crib with him; and in an even more tasteless scene -- if that were possible --  his babysitter abuses him. But as awful as the Wadsworths may be, is it possible that Ann Gentry is even worse and has her own plans for Baby ...? The Baby is well-acted, especially by Mooney, but it is so exploitative of the mentally ill that it's rather hard to take at times. The movie gets points for originality, but little else. Even the plot twists are pretty sick. This is the kind of movie that does no one's career any good. Tod Andrews, who plays a doctor, was the star of From Hell It Came.

Verdict: Too repellent to be entertaining. For a more sensitive look at the mentally-challenged see A Child is Waiting. **.