ALL-AMERICAN MURDER

Charlie Schlatter and Joanna Cassidy

ALL-AMERICAN MURDER (1991). Director: Anson Williams.

Artie Logan (Charlie Schlatter) is a misfit and fuck-up whose last chance for college is Fairfield where the motto is "Reform -- and Conform." Artie meets and falls for a pretty and very friendly young lady named Tally (Josie Bissett of Melrose Place), but it isn't long before someone sets her on fire. Cop P. J. Decker (Christopher Walken) suspects Artie, but is willing to go along with him as the young man does his own investigation (just one of the unbelievable developments in this story). Other suspects include the horny and hypocritical Dean Darby (Craig Stout); his equally horny wife (Joanna Cassidy), who beds Artie on his first day in school; creepy Harry Forbes (J. C. Quinn), who may have been obsessed with Tally; and Doug Sawyer (Mitchell Anderson), who engaged in numerous threesomes with Tally and others. Tally turns out to be quite different from how Artie imagined, even as others who knew her are killed by various means. I could have sworn that this was a lame imitation of the Scream movies were it not for the fact that the first Scream didn't come out until five years later. It's hard to know what to make of this oddball combination of semi-slasher film with sitcom style dialogue, and situations that never remotely ring true. Schlatter has charm, but he gives a one-note performance for the most part (and is hampered by the script, to be fair) and Christopher Walken [Mousehunt] walks though the movie with his typical dead fish expression, probably wishing he were on any set but this one. Joanna Cassidy [The Outfit], on the other hand, is fun as the dean's witty wife. The denouement is pretty much apparent from the moment we learn of the condition of the corpse. Did anyone really think the identity of the killer would be a surprise? The gore in the movie is minimal but the shot of the dean's dead body delivers a quick shock. Director Williams played "Potsie" on Happy Days -- it's as if the character directed the movie instead of the actor!

Verdict: You have to see the ludicrous snake death to believe it. **.

THE OUTFIT

Tom Reese and Duvall with Karen Black in the background

THE OUTFIT (1973). Director: John Flynn.

Earl Macklin (Robert Duvall) gets out of prison to discover that his brother was murdered. It seems the two of them knocked off a bank that was owned by the crime cartel, the "Outfit." Macklin decides to pay back and wage war on the Outfit by carrying out heists -- with his pal, Jack (Joe Don Baker) -- that will hit the Outfit where they live. His main antagonist is Outfit bigwig Mailer (Robert Ryan), who lives in a big mansion with bodyguards and has a fairly disinterested wife (Joanna Cassidy). The Outfit is loosely based on the third "Parker" novel by Richard Stark (Donald Westlake), a series of books in which a career criminal is the protagonist. [Another Parker adaptation was The Split.] Frankly, the book is much more entertaining than this indifferently directed "thriller" in which only Robert Ryan gives an especially memorable performance. Baker isn't bad, Karen Black [Trilogy of Terror] has her moments as Macklin's girl, and Duvall is Duvall. Sheree North [Mardi Gras] also has some flavorful moments as the wife of an associate, but Jane Greer isn't very good as Macklin's sister-in-law. Richard Jaeckal, Marie Windsor, and Henry Jones aren't on screen long enough to register much but are all effective. John Flynn also directed The Sergeant.

Verdict: Indifferent adaptation of a gritty Parker novel. **.