THE CABINET OF CALIGARI

Constance Ford, Daniel O'Herlihy, Glynis Johns

THE CABINET OF CALIGARI (1962). Director: Roger Kay. 

When her car breaks down, Jane Lindstrom (Glynis Johns of The Vault of Horror) seeks shelter at a sanitarium run by Dr. Caligari (Daniel O'Herlihy of Invasion U.S.A.). But her gratitude turns to fear and outrage when she discovers that there's no apparent way out of the establishment and she is being kept prisoner. The other "guests" don't seem to be much help: old Ruth (Estelle Winwood); romantic young Mark (Richard Davalos); friendly Vivian (Doreen Lang of The Wrong Man); firm and deceptively helpful Christine (Constance Ford); and others. When Jane sees Ruth being assaulted by one of the other patients as the others calmly watch, she determines to find her way out of this nuthouse no matter what she might have to do ... 
 

Johns is "helped" by Constance Ford

Robert Bloch wrote the screenplay for this mess, and it's proof that the man could turn out solid scripts as well as ones that should never see the light of day. This is one of three theatrical films for director Roger Kay, who mostly toiled in television, and he's unable to do much with this terrible story. Heroine Glynis Johns, with her squeaky voice and munchkin-like appearance, seems all wrong for this kind of movie, although one could argue that she is the ultimate masochist. Johns gives a good and committed performance, however, although there must have been times when she and the other actors wished they'd chosen a better project. Daniel O'Herlihy is effective in a supposedly dual role, and the others named are all better than the picture deserves. This is a remake of the silent classic The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari in name only, although some shots try to ape the expressionistic sets of the original. There is  an explanation for the strange goings-on, but the movie is so utterly tedious that you probably won't want to wait until the ending to find out. There are some interesting touches -- Caligari has a revolving door into his office, and there's a glass panel above Johns' bathtub into which people can peek as she bathes -- but they aren't enough to save this from the scrapheap.

Verdict: A waste of talent and celluloid. *1/2. 

THE MAFU CAGE

James Olson and Lee Grant

THE MAFU CAGE (aka Deviation/1978). Director: Karen Arthur.

Ellen (Lee Grant) lives with her strange sister Cissy (Carol Kane of Annie Hall), who retains a love for all things African -- they once lived in Africa with their late father -- and who also seems to have incestuous feelings for her sister. Ellen is herself not too tightly wrapped, because she resists the notion of sending Cissy to a therapist for, among other reasons, her penchant for slaughtering her pet apes. Cissy, who is unraveling by the minute, chains up Ellen's boyfriend, David (James Olson of The Andromeda Strain), in the cage where the apes are kept, and you can probably guess what happens next. The Mafu Cage is a film so bad that it seems to exist in its own universe of awfulness, never coming close to a real world or even a cinematic equivalent. It just moves along, ploddingly, throwing idiotic scenes at the viewer, and providing embarrassment for all of its actors, all of whom should have known better. The film reaches its absolute nadir with its scene of poor Carol Kane exchanging sloppy mouth to mouth kisses with a champagne-guzzling orangutan. (I am not joking; this is not an old April Fool's post.)  Grant, Olson, and Will Geer [The Brotherhood of the Bell] as a friendly animal trainer all give good performances; Kane is like her character from the sitcom Taxi on uppers. The script was written by actor Don Chastain (from a play by Eric Wesphal), whose other writing credit was for an episode of As The World Turns. Karen Arthur primarily directed for television.

Verdict: Without a doubt, the worst movie Lee Grant ever appeared in. 1/2*.

NOTE: This review is part of the "Lovely Lee Grant" blogathon co-hosted by Chris of Angelman's Place and Gill of Realweegiemidget Reviews. 

PICTURE MOMMY DEAD

Martha Hyer and Don Ameche

PICTURE MOMMY DEAD (1966). Director: Bert I. Gordon.

Young Susan Shelley (Susan Gordon) gets out of a "convent" for the mentally disturbed three years after the death of her mother, Jessica (Zsa Zsa Gabor), in a fire in their mansion. Her father, Edward (Don Ameche), has been traveling the world with his new viper-like wife, the former governess, Francine (Martha Hyer), and now they are nearly broke. Another member of this highly dysfunctional household is Jessica's cousin, Anthony (Maxwell Reed), who was disfigured in the fire and will inherit money if both Edward and his daughter should happen to die, something which Francine is also happily aware of. But the murder victim may be more unexpected than you imagine. Picture Mommy Dead  -- one of a number of thrillers made by director Gordon, who had previously specialized in movies about giant people and monsters -- isn't that good, but it has a fairly interesting script that just misses the mark. A big problem with the picture is that Susan Gordon, the director's daughter, is too inexperienced (despite 25 previous credits!) to handle such a difficult and demanding role, although she gets an E for Effort. Zsa Zsa appears in a few flashbacks and isn't given anything too demanding to do, while Hyer plays her bitchy part with a little zest but little real skill. Ameche [Slightly French] comes off better, but Maxwell Reed of Daybreak is only somewhat effective. Wendell Corey delivers the goods in his one scene, playing a lawyer who is so tactlessly blunt with everyone that it's a wonder nobody murders him right then and there.

Verdict: Not terrible, but Gordon probably should not have cast his daughter. **1/2.

JACK'S BACK

JACK'S BACK (1988). Director/writer: Rowdy Herrington.

John Wesford (James Spader) works at a medical clinic in Los Angeles, which is currently besieged by a maniac who is reenacting the murders of Jack the Ripper exactly one hundred years after they originally occurred. Besides John, suspects include the strange shrink Dr. Battera (Robert Picardo), John's obnoxious boss Sidney Tannerson (Rod Loomis), his beefy co-worker Jack Pendler (Rex Ryon), and others. John comes across a murdered hooker named Denise (Danitza Kingsley), sees someone running from the scene, and then the movie does a 180 degree turn, with a new lead character turning up just as you're scratching your head at what's going on ... Spader and the other actors are fine, but Jack's Back substitutes a mid-movie twist for a solid plot, with the killer's motivations and logic unresolved, and the 100 Years Later Jack the Ripper premise pretty much goes nowhere. The BBC series Whitechapel: The Ripper Returns took the same idea years later and really ran with it. Cynthia Gibb plays Spader's co-worker and a potential love interest. This probably looked good on paper but it's sunk by its contrivances.

Verdict: Although there's some suspense of a minor kind, this is a Ripper movie you can live without. **.

THE BABY

David Mooney (Manzy) and Ruth Roman

THE BABY (1973). Director: Ted Post.

Social worker Ann Gentry (Anjanette Comer) is a widow who lives with her mother-in-law, Judith (Beatrice Manley). She asks to be assigned to the case of the Wadsworth family, who live in a big rundown house and live off the money given them by the state for the care of a member they call "Baby." Although he has the mind of an infant and sleeps in a crib, Baby (David Mooney/Manzy) is actually a grown man. Ann comes to believe that his problem isn't true retardation, but that for some reason his mother (Ruth Roman) is holding him back developmentally. In the meantime Baby is poked with an electric prod by his sadistic sister Alba (Suzanne Zenor); his other sister Germaine (Marianna Hill of The Astral Factor) takes off her clothes and climbs into the crib with him; and in an even more tasteless scene -- if that were possible --  his babysitter abuses him. But as awful as the Wadsworths may be, is it possible that Ann Gentry is even worse and has her own plans for Baby ...? The Baby is well-acted, especially by Mooney, but it is so exploitative of the mentally ill that it's rather hard to take at times. The movie gets points for originality, but little else. Even the plot twists are pretty sick. This is the kind of movie that does no one's career any good. Tod Andrews, who plays a doctor, was the star of From Hell It Came.

Verdict: Too repellent to be entertaining. For a more sensitive look at the mentally-challenged see A Child is Waiting. **.

88 MINUTES

88 MINUTES (2007). Director: Jon Avnet.

The testimony of FBI psychologist Jack Gramm (Al Pacino of The Recruit) helped put away a fiendish killer, Jon Forster (Neal McDonough), who is about to be executed. Gramm then gets a call in which an unknown person tells him he only has 88 minutes to live, a number that has special significance to him. Gramm figures Forster is behind it all, but who is his ally outside of prison? One of Gramm's students? His teaching assistant, Kim (Alicia Witt of Urban Legend)? Her motorcycle-riding boyfriend? His secretary, Shelley (Amy Brenneman)? The movie, with its hints of dark deeds in the past, numerous twists and red herrings, reminds one of  a giallo film by Italian director Dario Argento, but without the cinematic flourishes or sick violence. The performances are good, and the slick movie moves fast enough to keep you from dissecting what's going on too carefully. Whatever its flaws, 88 Minutes is quite entertaining.

Verdict: Pacino treading water. ***.

PLAY MISTY FOR ME

"Play Misty for me," says the lady on the phone

PLAY MISTY FOR ME (1971). Director: Clint Eastwood.

Radio DJ Dave (Clint Eastwood) plays easy listening on the night shift, and he consistently gets calls from a woman who says "Play Misty for me." One night Dave meets a woman named Evelyn (Jessica Walter) at a bar and has a one-night stand with her. She not only turns out to be the lady who requests Misty, but she seems to think this one encounter means that she and Dave are in a "relationship." Things get worse when Dave sleeps with her a second time, and she acts as if they're engaged, showing up uninvited, expecting him to act like a significant other when all he wants to do is get away from her. In spite of this, Dave shows compassion after Evelyn's suicide attempt [a doctor friend risks his license by not reporting the incident, even though it would have forced Evelyn to get help], after which Evelyn is even more deeply "attached" to the man. If anything her behavior gets worse ... Play Misty for Me is an entertaining visualization of one man's Casual Sex Nightmare, and features a striking performance from Jessica Walter with an okay Eastwood pretty much along for the ride. Eastwood also directed the film, which is well-shot by Bruce Surtees. There's an exciting, if too brief, climax wherein Evelyn tries to butcher Dave; a sequence where she stabs repeatedly at his poor maid, Birdie (an amusing and sassy Clarice Taylor) is acceptable but hardly has the "Psycho-like editing" one critic attributed to it. Eastwood, as usual, whispers all of his lines [the way a woman would if she wants to sound slinky] in a way he assumes sounds masculine and sexy. Donna Mills [Curse of the Black Widow] plays his on-again/off-again girlfriend, Tobie. In this she is sweet and fresh-scrubbed; she later successfully reinvented herself as a devious sexpot for the show Knot's Landing. John Larch ["It's a Good Life" on Twilight Zone] and Irene Hervey [Honey West] have notable bits as, respectively, a cop who comes afoul of Evelyn, and a radio producer who wants to sign Dave to a great new contract until Evelyn interferes. Duke Everts plays Tobie's gay friend Jay Jay like a stereotype, and Don Siegel has his first acting part as a bartender. A romantic sequence to the strains of Roberta  Flack's "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" is effective, but a long sequence at a jazz festival just stops the picture dead. Although I haven't seen Fatal Attraction in a long time, I think this is a better picture.

Verdict: A zesty Walter makes this a pleasure. ***.