EVIL UNDER THE SUN

Peter Ustinov and Maggie Smith

EVIL UNDER THE SUN (1982). Director: Guy Hamilton.

"Even in the old days she would throw her legs up higher than anyone -- and wider." Daphne referring to Arlena.

At a resort run by former showgirl Daphne Castle (Maggie Smith), one of the guests is a former colleague and now star, Arlena Marshall (Diana Rigg of The Avengers). Although married, Arlena is fooling around with Patrick Redfern (Nicholas Clay), who is also married, to the plain-Jane Christine (Jane Birkin of Seven Deaths in the Cats Eye). When Arlena is strangled in an isolated cove, the suspects also include her wannabee biographer Rex Brewster (Roddy McDowall), and the producing team of Myra and Odell Gardener (Sylvia Miles and James Mason). Then there's Arlena's husband, Kenneth (Denis Quilley) and his obnoxious young daughter, Linda (Emily Hone). It is up to the famous Belgian detective Hercule Poirot (Peter Ustinov) to find out who the true murderer is. Evil Under the Sun is another over-produced, not quite "all-star" Agatha Christie adaptation, with a script by Anthony Shaffer that makes some changes but doesn't do too much damage to the novel. Overlong, the movie is very slow-paced and often dull, although some of the actors, especially Maggie Smith [Downton Abbey] and James Mason, do their best to keep things interesting with their performances. Mason and Sylvia Miles certainly make a very odd pair, and Miles is vivid if typically vulgar. McDowall does his usual middle-aged fop act. Ustinov is not the perfect Poirot, but he is amusing at times, and indeed the movie often plays like a parody. The picture only really picks up in the final quarter when Poirot assembles the suspects and reveals the clever solution, which (as usual) works better on the printed page than spelled out in wide screen and TechniColor. Still, it sends the audience out possibly fooled into thinking they've seen a better movie than they actually have. The film has absolutely none of the suspense of the novel, and you probably won't even care who killed Arlena. Rigg is excellent as the victim, and Clay and Birkin also make their mark as her lover and his discarded spouse. Smith's character refers to McDowall's with a stupid comment about "cherchez la fruit." The score consists of adaptations of the songs of Cole Porter. Since Porter's bouncy music is hardly appropriate for an alleged movie of suspense and intrigue, it almost kills the movie, lovely tunes notwithstanding, right there. Ustinov also played Poirot in Dead Man's Folly, which was a better Christie adaptation than this.

Verdict: Read Christie's book instead for a much more entertaining experience. **1/2.

THEATER OF BLOOD

Diana Rigg and Vincent Price

THEATER OF BLOOD (1973). Director: Douglas Hickox.

"A mumbling, incoherent boy who can barely grunt his way through a speech" -- Edward Lionheart.

"It's Lionheart all right. Only he wold have the temerity to rewrite Shakespeare." -- Devlin.

Actor Edward Lionheart (Vincent Price) supposedly committed suicide after losing the coveted Critics' Circle Award, but it turns out that he is still alive and killing off those same critics -- with the help of his daughter, Edwina (Diana Rigg) -- in ways related to Shakespeare's plays. Theater of Blood followed Price's Abominable Dr. Phibes and Dr. Phibes Rises Again and is similarly gruesome and playful -- not to mention revenge-motivated --  although perhaps not as much fun as the other pictures. Price is terrific as Lionheart, ably supported by Diana Rigg as his daughter. even if she isn't given much of a character to play. There are more than its share of over-the-top moments in this: a grotesque beheading sequence (from Cymberline) is an example of the blackest of black comedy; and the death of flamboyantly gay Meredith Merridew (Robert Morley), forced to devour his own "babies" (actually, beloved poodles) until he chokes on dog meat, as in Titus Andronicus, is unbelievably sadistic (not to mention rather homophobic). Speaking of gay stereotypes, the closeted Price has fun playing a campy hairdresser named "Butch" who fatally spit- curls critic Chloe Moon, played by Price's then-wife Coral Browne [The Legend of Lylah Clare], in a salon. Ian Hendry, Jack Hawkins [Land of the Pharaohs], Arthur Lowe, Michael Hordern, Robert Coote and Dennis Price [Your Past Is Showing] are all notable as assorted victims, as is Milo O'Shea as the baffled police inspector on the case, and Joan Hickson as the wife who wakes up with a headless corpse in her bed. One has to wonder: was Lionheart really as mediocre an actor as everyone says, or were the critics out to get him for one reason or another?

Verdict: One of the most diabolical and gruesome of revenge thrillers with many darkly amusing moments. *** out of 4.

THE AVENGERS Season 4

Emma Peel as queen of the Hellfire Club

THE AVENGERS (season four/1966).

The Avengers began life in 1961 as a man named John Steed (Patrick Macnee, who lasted through all seven seasons) helps "avenge" the murder of Dr. David Keel's (Ian Hendry) wife; the two men then went on to have several more adventures. Keel was replaced by Cathy Gale (Honor Blackman) for seasons 2 and 3, the episodes for which appeared to be on tape and rather low-tech in nature. With the 4th season, The Avengers was on film, became a very slick show, and best of all starred Diana Rigg [No Turn Unstoned] as the jumpsuit and leather-clad Mrs. Peel, who retained her femininity while apparently excelling in every form of combat known to man -- or, rather, woman. This was the first season in which the British series was shown in the U.S. on the high-rated ABC network. The show tried to maintain a balance between quirky, tongue-in-cheek humor and stories that had genuine suspense and excitement. Often the show would go over the line and descend into camp ["The Girl from Auntie" being a prime example, and as bad as the lowest camp episode of The Man from U.N.C.L.E.). On the other hand, many of the episodes were quite smart and entertaining: "Death at Bargain Prices" features a bomb inside a department store; athletes are hypnotized into committing crimes in "The Master Minds;" a murder-for-hire outfit masquerades as a dating service in "The Murder Market" (with Patrick Cargill of Inspector Clouseau and Suzanne Lloyd);"A Touch of Brimstone" features Emma caparisoned as a black queen in the Hellfire Club; and a bunch of pseudo-feminist slayers take orders from a marionette in "How to Succeed ... at Murder." We mustn't forget the "Man-eater of Surrey Green" with its monster plant. Other memorable episodes include "The Gravediggers"  with Paul Massie; "The Cybernauts" with Michael Gough; "The Hour that Never Was;" "Two's a Crowd;" "The House that Jack Built" with its weird, twisting domicile; "The Danger Makers;" and "A Sense of History." The show was generally very well directed and edited with many exciting fight scenes, and Mrs. Peel took on female opponents more than once, especially in "Murder Market" (two gals go after Emma at the same time) and "How to Succeed at ... Murder."

Verdict: Peel and Steed make a lively and sophisticated duo. ***.

NO TURN UNSTONED Diana Rigg

NO TURN UNSTONED: THE WORST EVER THEATRICAL REVIEWS. Compiled by Diana Rigg. Silman-James Press (reissue). Originally published by Doubleday in 1983.

"... And Mr. John Mills wanders about the stage at the St. James theatre looking like a bewildered carrot."

Actress Diana Rigg (best-known for TV's The Avengers] wrote to her fellow thespians in the UK and US, asking for them to send her their worst notices -- brave lady! Some didn't comply, some sent notices that were really backhanded compliments, and some sent truly terrible reviews [although in some cases Rigg ferreted out even worse ones, which probably didn't endear her to her colleagues]. The book doesn't just cover 20th century actors but goes back to the days of Sarah Bernhardt and even Shakespeare (as well as later productions of his plays), and it reveals that even the bard had his detractors, such as George Bernard Shaw, who himself had people who were not overly fond of his work. Reviews not only focus on performances, but on playwrights, productions, scenery, new trends, and the like. No Turn Unstoned may not be a laugh-out-loud type of book but it is revealing of how people viewed the theater during different periods of history, and enlightens us as to the critics' [often maladjusted] thinking as well. Although Rigg concentrates on the theater world, she does include reviews from movies if they were sent in by one of her colleagues. In addition to much theater work -- she includes a couple of her own bad reviews -- Rigg also starred in On Her Majesty's Secret Service.

Verdict: Erudite and stylish like the author herself. ***.

GREAT OLD EPISODE: MAN-EATER OF SURREY GREEN / THE AVENGERS

The man-eating plant attacks Steed and companions

"MAN-EATER OF SURREY GREEN". THE AVENGERS. 1965.

The Avengers British TV series [not to be confused with the American super-heroes of the same name]  arrived on U.S. shores with the 1965 season, the first one in which Diana Rigg joined the cast [joining Patrick Macnee as Steed] as the delectable, leather-and-jumpsuit clad Mrs. Peel. In this amusing and creepy episode, a weird plant turns out to have a human-type brain, and is also able to emit mind-control rays that have scientists and others toiling for it. In addition, the creature is a flesh-eater, and one of the essential nutrients it needs is inside human beings. Its tendrils can whip around a person in seconds and pull them away for a tasty snack. Not only do our intrepid duo have to deal with this botanical nightmare -- which threatens to grow to gargantuan size, with its tendrils digging in and popping up everywhere throughout the earth [and it is also capable of sprouting seeds] -- but Steed has to contend with a plant-hypnotized Emma Peel giving him karate chops as he tries to stop her from spilling the only reserves they have of a herbicide that might kill the awful creature.This is utterly absurd, but highly entertaining.

Verdict: Suspenseful, funny, and action-packed, with a great monster. ***.

ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE

ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE (1969). Director: Peter Hunt.

After meeting a beautiful, troubled woman named Tracy (Diana Rigg) and her handsome criminal father Draco (Gabriele Ferzetti), Bond uses info he acquires from Draco to track down Ernest Stavros Blofeld (Telly Savalas), who is using beautiful women with allergies in another massive extortion plot. Since Blofeld hopes the College of Arms will declare him a count, Bond goes in disguise as someone from the college to Blofeld’s Swiss HQ and tries to figure out what he’s up to. Richard Maibaum’s script is relatively faithful to Ian Fleming’s novel, although there are a few changes. It makes no sense that Draco’s men should seemingly try to kill either Tracy or Bond in the prologue and other sequences. In the novel, the men are simply trying to escort the two of them to Draco and Bond misunderstands.

Although double entendres had been part of the Bond movies (if not the novels) for years, Maibaum’s script seems unnecessarily smarmy at times. A stupid aspect is the way Bond allegedly pretends to be gay when he impersonates Sir Hilary Bray (from the College of Arms), although this comes out more in some dialogue than in Lazenby’s performance – he seems foppish, stuffy, a bit of a "sissy," perhaps, but not stereotypically "gay." (The real Sir Hilary is a bit foppish but not epicene -- and not a gay character. And most gay men are not foppish or effeminate in any case.) In Fleming’s novel Bond simply observes that there’s no reason why a nobleman, whom he’s impersonating, can’t be down-to-earth, and decides to pretty much act like himself. When 007, disguised as Sir Hilary, interacts with the ladies he meets at Blofeld’s in the film he is perfectly charming with them and even flirts with one of them, Ruby. (Ruby writes her room number on his thigh in lipstick and he returns from her room after an assignation with a lipstick kiss on his cheek.) Yet one gal observes "I know what he’s allergic to," and even Ruby – pre-assignation – says "You’re funny – pretending you don’t like girls." Huh? This just doesn’t come off. Americans may think that men with upper class British accents sound effeminate, but why would British girls think the same? When he pretends to be Bray, 007 doesn't sound any more affected than Prince Charles! (Lazenby is dubbed by the actor portraying Bray during these scenes.)

Maibaum adds some good scenes as well as bad ones: Bond kisses Miss Moneypenny on the lips, (if not with great passion) and she’s seen crying at his wedding. When Bond goes to pay another call on Ruby, he finds the formidable Irma Bunt, Blofeld’s assistant, in her bed! In the novel, Bond and Blofeld had never come face to face before, but everyone connected with the film forgot that the two men met in the previous Bond movie You Only Live Twice -- yet Blofeld doesn’t recognize Bond (he figures it out because of a mistake Bond makes – as well as 007's sheer horniness.) While it may be "tame" by today’s standards, the scene when an agent pursuing Bond and Tracy gets chewed up by a snow blower (in the novel he ran into a train) turned a few stomachs in 1969 and (even if it was a bad guy) was considered in bad taste for an escapist film. George Lazenby may not be a great actor, but he isn’t at all bad as Bond. He may in general lack the wry, raised-eyebrow insouciance of Sean Connery, but he can be gruff and athletic when he needs to be, as well as light and charming when required. Considering he practically had to carry the whole film on his shoulders with relatively little experience, he acquits himself quite nicely. Diana Rigg is as lovely and professional as ever as Tracy. Although her part was beefed up a bit from the novel, it is still very much a supporting role at best. Telly Savalas makes a wonderful, smooth, urbane and virile Blofeld, although he doesn’t exude too much personal menace – he won’t kill you with his bare hands but will certainly watch with glee as somebody else does it for him. Gabriele Ferzetti is perfect as Draco.

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is ultimately a mediocre Bond outing, unfortunately. Michael Reed's cinematography is second-rate, and director Peter Hunt covers the action without much cinematic elan. The film is better edited (by John Glen, who would himself direct some Bond features and was second unit director for this picture) than directed, as witnessed by the film’s greatest sequence: the battle between Bond and Blofeld as they careen down the icy, slithering bobsled run. This superb, breathlessly paced, and brilliantly executed sequence remains one of the best action scenes in any Bond movie. If only the overlong picture had more scenes like it. There is no opening theme song for the movie, although later in the film Louis Armstrong croaks out a rendition of the pleasant "All the Time in the World" by John Barry (who did the score, as usual) and Hal David. NOTE: To read a review of Ian Fleming's novel, click here. 

Verdict: Great bobsled sequence! **1/2.