MAGNIFICENT THIEF

Malachi Throne & Robert Wagner

MAGNIFICENT THIEF 1968 telefilm.

Alexander Mundy (Robert Wagner), one of the world's best thieves, is given a pardon if he agrees to work for government agency SIA under the supervision of one Noah Bain (Malachi Throne). As Bain puts it, "we're not asking you to spy; we're asking you to steal." Naturally Mundy is put up in a mansion with three beautiful women, including Senta Burger, as his assistants. After that he is sent out on a mission and seems to go rogue to complete it. In any case, the soundtrack is loud [although the theme music is nice] and there are very few thrills. Wagner saunters through the movie without raising a sweat. John Saxon and Michael Forest give the best performances as two of the bad guys. The telefilm is packed with special guest stars including Raymond Burr, Leslie Neilsen, Susan St. James, and Doug McClure and James Drury as airline ticket agents. This was the pilot for the series It Takes a Thief.

Verdict: Slick in all the wrong ways. *.

JUNGLE DRUMS OF AFRICA

JUNGLE DRUMS OF AFRICA (12 chapter Republic serial/1953). Director: Fred C. Brannon.

Alan King (Clayton Moore) and Bert Hadley (Johnny Spencer) only want to build a road while Carol Bryant (a blond Phyllis Coates) wants to continue her father's medical work, but they have to contend with bad guy Kurgan (Henry Rowland), who owns a trading shop, and his gang, who are after uranium deposits. As Chief Douanga, Bill Walker is so pleasant that you want to invite him over for supper. Joel Fluellen of Monster from Green Hell and Tom Steele are also in the cast. Cliffhangers such as the lion pit and wind tunnel are borrowed from earlier serials. Uninteresting story, dull villains, and nothing of great consequence, although the chimp, who loves to get into shaving cream, is terrific. Nice score by Stanley Wilson.

Verdict: With Moore, Coates, and an adorable chimp doing their best to put over tired material. **.

MANEATER OF HYDRA AKA ISLAND OF THE DOOMED

MANEATER OF HYDRA (aka Island of the Doomed/1967). Director: Ernst Ritter von Theumer. Written by Mel Welles.

"Everyone has his own way of enjoying himself -- the baron and his plants that eat mice ..."

Baron von Weser (Cameron Mitchell) hosts a party of tourists that include Cora Robinson (Kai Fischer), a manhunter with an older husband (Ralph von Nackhoff); David Moss (George Martin), a handsome architect, and his girlfriend Beth (Elisa Montes); and Myrtle (Matilde Munoz Sampedro),, an annoying old woman who is always snapping pictures. As an actor Mel Welles was in the original Little Shop of Horrors -- as a writer, well let's just say he's not as good as he is as an actor. The "vampire tree" of the ads doesn't actually show up until the film's final moments, and by then most of the audience will have fallen asleep. Not as much fun if just as awful as From Hell It Came and Navy vs. the Night Monsters. Mitchell was also in Blood and Black Lace and many others.

Verdict: Quite tedious. **.

SOURCE CODE

Jake Gyllenhaal

SOURCE CODE (2011). Director: Duncan Jones.

An agent named Colter Stevens (Jake Gyllenhaal) discovers that he is in some kind of containment chamber, and that his mind is being sent back in time again and again to find out who planted a bomb on a Chicago train that exploded, an event that already occurred. Other events have been threatened and time is running out, so Stevens has been part of an experiment in "time reassignment" which sends him to a parallel time -- or something like that. Although Stevens has been told that everyone on the train is already dead, he's still determined to do his best to save them, especially a young woman who is the girlfriend of the man whose "body" Stevens is inhabiting each time he re-visits the train. Source Code has a lot of intriguing ideas, but it's a bit confusing, and perhaps because of this you don't really get caught up in it. You want to be moved and thrilled but you always feel at a distance. Gyllenhaal is fine, however.

Verdict: Half-baked sci fi with interesting elements and a solid lead performance. **1/2.

BLINDFOLD

BLINDFOLD (1965). Director: Philip Dunne.

Psychiatrist Dr. Bartholomew Snow (Rock Hudson) is drafted by General Prat (Jack Warden) to treat an old patient of his, a scientist named Vincenti (Alejandro Rey). Snow is blindfolded and flown to a secret location where the paranoid Vincenti is being held. But is General Prat really who he says he is, and is stuttering patient Fitzpatrick (Guy Stockwell) somehow involved as well? When Snow realizes something's rotten in Denmark, he and Vincenti's sister Vicky (Claudia Cardinale) have to try and retrace Snow's steps while blindfolded and find her brother. Based on a novel by Lucille Fletcher, Blindfold has a good story, but at times the [admittedly often funny] comedy relief simply overwhelms the suspense and dissipates the tension, with the result that the movie wears out its welcome long before it's over. Climactic scenes with alligators, explosions and bullets flying everywhere are busy but handled without any directorial aplomb. Hitchcock probably could have done a lot with this, but Dunne? Cardinale is cute and perky; Hudson more than acceptable in the lead although no Cary Grant. As Snow's secretary Anne Seymour doesn't have enough oomph [a la Eve Arden]. Seymour appeared on The Honeymooners more than once and had a long, long list of credits. Guy Stockwell was the older brother of Dean Stockwell. Jack Warden comes off best as Prat.Dunne also directed The View from Pompey's Head and wrote the screenplay for The Ghost and Mrs. Muir.

Verdict: Okay, if you're not expecting another North By Northwest. **1/2.

CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK

CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK (1944). Director: Charles Lamont.

After teasing the faculty in a theatrical sketch, Donald Corrigan (Donald O'Connor) is asked to take a brief vacation from Sperling Naval Academy. During this sabbatical he meets Glory (Ann Blyth), the latest in a line of show biz females from the same family, and tries to discourage the attentions of the adoring Peggy (Peggy Ryan). In the meantime, Glory's mother (Helen Vinson) and grandmother (Helen Broderick), both of whom were burned by, respectively, Donald's father (Patric Knowles) and grandfather, try to break up the budding romance between him and the adorable Glory. This is a trifle, but a cute one, with some nice songs ["It's Mighty Nice to Have Met You;" "Mother, Mother, Mother"] and swell performances. O'Connor is charming, Blyth is as cute as a button, Ryan is perky and talented, and Broderick nearly steals the show as the grandmother. Irving Bacon [Ethel's father on I Love Lucy] and Arthur Treacher are also in the cast, as are the 7-year-old whiz kid Joel Kupperman and (briefly) Mantan Moreland as a porter. Years later Peggy Ryan was Jack Lord's secretary on Hawaii 5-0. Blyth's most famous role, of course, was as Veda in Mildred Pierce.

Verdict: For fans of old musicals, O'Connor, and Blyth. **1/2.

NO MAN OF HER OWN

NO MAN OF HER OWN (1950). Director:Mitchell Leisen.

Based on Cornell Woolrich's novel "I Married a Dead Man" this stars Barbara Stanwyck as Helen Ferguson, who is pregnant and abandoned by her faithless lover Steve (Lyle Bettger). She meets a lovely young newlywed couple (Richard Denning and Phyllis Thaxter) on a train, but after a train crash finds herself a victim -- or lucky recipient -- of mistaken identity. Taken in by a family who thinks she's someone else, she wonders how long she can pull off the deception. She falls for Bill Harkness (John Lund) and then the scummy Steve shows up ... This is not the great suspense film it might have been had Hitchcock been at the helm, but it is quite entertaining and full of interesting twists courtesy of Woolrich. Stanwyck gives yet another terrific performance, and there is a solid supporting cast, including Jane Cowl as Bill's mother. Leisen doesn't do that much with the more tense sequences in the film and Lund is only adequate, but Stanwyck's performance puts this over if nothing else. The novel was adapted on other occasions, being the basis for a French version and the much lighter Mrs. Winterbourne with Ricki Lake. I believe there was also another American version under a different title.

Verdict: Another example of Stanwyck's superb thespian ability. ***.

G-MEN NEVER FORGET

G-MEN NEVER FORGET (12 chapter Republic serial/1948). Directors: Fred C. Brannon; Yakima Canutt.

Federal agent Ted O'Hara (Clayton Moore) pretends to be a hood and Sgt. Frances Blake (Ramsay Ames) a gun moll so they can infiltrate the gang of Vic Murkland, although both are unaware that after having plastic surgery Burkland has now replaced the police commissioner and is trying to trap them at every turn! Cliffhangers include water rushing after O'Hara on a motorcycle after a tunnel collapses [recycled from an earlier serial], and a deadly crane collapse in chapter 4. Tom Steele and Ken Terrell also get in on the action. This is an acceptable, entertaining Republic serial done in its usual slick and fast-paced style. Moore was also in Black Dragons with Bela Lugosi as well as such serials as The Perils of Nyoka, in which he was a good guy, and The Crimson Ghost and Radar Men from the Moon, in which he was a villain. Ramsay Ames was also in The Vigilante and Barcroft appeared in a number of serials including Manhunt of Mystery Island. 

Verdict: Not quite unforgettable but okay. **1/2.

THE MAN WITHOUT A BODY

Robert Hutton and Julia Arnall with the head of Nostradamus

THE MAN WITHOUT A BODY (1957). Directors: W. Lee Wilder; Charles Saunders.

When wealthy businessman Karl Brussard (George Coulouris) discovers he has a brain tumor he somehow gets the idea that if he can have the brain of Nostradamus transplanted into his head, he will take over the famous man's mind with sheer will power -- or something like that. Robert Hutton is the doctor, Merrick, who gets involved in this ridiculous experiment, Michael Golden is Nostradamus, Nadja Regin is Brussard's sexy girlfriend Odette, and Sheldon Lawrence [Bluebeard's Ten Honeymoons] is the equally sexy Dr. Lew Waldenhouse, who has a fling with Odette. Julia Arnall plays Jean, Merrick's assistant. Kim Parker from Fiend Without a Face has a small role as a maid. This is watchable but absurd, and not nearly as much fun as it sounds. Coulouris appeared in everything from Citizen Kane to Womeneater, not to mention the aforementioned Bluebeard's Ten Honeymoons, The Verdict (1946), and many others. This movie is not to be confused with other living head films such as The Thing that Couldn't Die or The Brain that Wouldn't Die.Wilder also directed Phantom from Space, Killers from Space and Manfish with Lon Chaney Jr. Far and away his best film was Bluebeard's Ten Honeymoons.

Verdict: Anyone with half a brain will probably not want to see this. **.

ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS 1985

ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS 1985.

In 1985 there was a new color edition of Alfred Hitchcock Presents which used Hitchcock's original introductions -- colorized -- for remakes of some classic episodes, although not always the episode they were originally used for. Later on the program featured some all-new material. The most memorable episodes were do-overs of "An Unlocked Window" [with Annette O'Toole and an excellent Bruce Davison]; "Final Escape" [starring Season Hubley in a lead role sex-switch]; Cornell Woolrich's "4 O'clock"; "Man on the Ledge" with Mark Hammill; and "Pen Pal" with a fine Jean Simmons in the role originally played by Katherine Squire. Many of the new episodes were pretty bad, but there were a few exceptions: "Twist," which had a lot of them in a tale of adultery and murder; "Kadinsky's Vault" with Eli Wallach as a book store owner with a secret; and the diabolical "Final Twist" with Martin Landau as the nasty boss of a fed-up special effects crew. I'm not certain if "The Impatient Patient" [with E. G. Marshall as a dying patient in a war with an overbearing hospital employee]; "Murder Party" [with David McCallum] or "Tragedy Tonight" [a woman's sister has acting exercises that lead to tragedy] were remakes or new material, but all of them were interesting. Some of the remakes were vastly inferior to the originals, such as "The Creeper;" and the all-time worst new episode featured a hapless Patrick Wayne in a dreadful spoof of North by Northwest.

Verdict: Too many unmemorable episodes to make this a classic, but not without interest. **1/2.

THE ART OF X-MEN THE LAST STAND FROM CONCEPT TO FEATURE FILM

THE ART OF X-MEN THE LAST STAND From Concept to Feature Film. 2006; Newmarket Press.

An over-sized trade paperback that covers the making of the third X-Men movie, X-Men: The Last Stand, with lots of photos, production sketches, background scenes and notes -- without giving away too many FX secrets. The book is decidedly geared towards the teenage X-Men fanatic; it doesn't have much meat for anyone else. By far the best part of the book is Peter Sanderson's overview of the history of the X-Men comic book. Otherwise the tome is mostly photographs, drawings, and captions, not that the X-Men fan will necessarily complain.

Verdict: Not as good as the comic books -- or movies. **1/2.

STELLA DALLAS

Anne Shirley and Barbara Stanwyck

STELLA DALLAS (1937). Director: King Vidor.

Stella is a young woman in a family of mill hands who wants a better life for herself and gets it when she contrives to meet an executive at the mill, Stephen Dallas (John Boles). But although she lands the guy, Stella is a vulgar and unsympathetic person in many ways, and the two soon separate. However, Stella is redeemed by the sincere love she feels for her daughter, Laurel (Anne Shirley). But as the girl grows and bonds with her father and the new lady in his life, the widow Helen Morrison (Barbara O'Neil), Stella comes to realize that her rather declasse status may do her daughter more harm than good. Some aspects of Stella Dallas have to be taken with a grain of salt. It's one of those movies where people are terrible to other people that they love because they think they need "to be cruel to be kind" [along the lines of the guy who discovers he's going to be permanently crippled telling the woman who adores him that he hates her so she can be "free."] Once you accept that somewhat dated convention, it is easy to focus on the film's major strengths, which include Stanwyck's utterly superb performance [one of her finest in a career of excellent performances], as well as sterling work by Shirley, John Boles, boisterous Alan Hale as a friend of Stella's, O'Neill, Ann Shoemaker, Marjorie Main, and others. [Even Olin  Howlin/Howland from The Blob --years in his future -- shows up!] One of the best scenes is a very moving encounter between Stella and Helen, and the ending -- if slightly contrived and "dramatic" -- is lovely and poignant. Hattie McDaniel, Jimmy Butler, and Tim Holt also have small roles. All this and an excellent score by Alfred Newman as well.

Verdict: Stanwyck and a general air of classiness lift this out of the soap opera level, but it's definitely a classic tearjerker. ****.

THE LAST WALTZ

The Band on the cover of their 2nd album

THE LAST WALTZ (1978). Director: Martin Scorsese.

"People ask me about The Last Waltz all the time. Rick Danko dying at fifty-six is what I think of The Last Waltz. It was the biggest fuckin' rip-off  that ever happened to The Band -- without a doubt." -- Levon Helm, one of the five original members of The Band in "This Wheel's on Fire: Levon Helm and the Story of the Band" by Helm with Stephen Davis.

According to Levon Helm's account, fellow Band member Robbie Robertson wanted to stop touring, go Hollywood and essentially break up the group whether the other fellows wanted to or not. [Helm admits that he was heroin-addled much of the time, which may have colored his account or explain why Robertson was able to "get away" with what he did.] In any case, Robertson brought filmmaker Martin Scorsese in to film a big Farewell [to touring] concert with many special guest stars. When some numbers didn't turn out quite the way the two wanted, it was decided to re-film them on a special set after the fact, and the soundtrack was apparently fiddled with afterward a great bit as well.

Strictly as a concert film, The Last Waltz is not bad at all, especially if you like the music of The Band and such guest-stars as Doctor John [Such a Night], Bob Dylan [Forever Young], Neil Young [Helpless], Neil Diamond [Dry Your Eyes], Joni Mitchell [Coyote], Van Morrison [Caravan], Emmylou Harris [Evangeline], Muddy Waters, Eric Clapton, and others. But if you're expecting to get to know the individual members of the Band to any degree, forget it, as Scorsese, who conducted very minor interviews with the boys, is a pretty lousy interviewer [even given the fact that some of the members did not especially wish to cooperate]. As a documentary, this is superficial beyond belief.

As for the Band ... well, it would be all too easy to dismiss them as a kind of corn pone, even phoney "hillbilly" [or "rockabilly"] band -- only one of the four members, Helm, was Southern; the rest were Canadians! --  were it not for the fact that some of their songs are pure rock poetry. I mean, nobody [especially up north] can relate to its civil war setting and rebel viewpoint, yet "The Night they Drove Old Dixie Down" has an irresistible melody, some splendid harmonizing, and certainly illustrates the group's fine musicianship. [I've always loved the song, "Unfaithful Servant" -- for the same reasons  -- but who the hell knows what the damn thing is about?] 

The Last Waltz is a good-looking picture with some great music and performances. But it's only a small part of the story of The Band.

Verdict: Just sit back and listen. ***.

REDHEAD FROM MANHATTAN

REDHEAD FROM MANHATTAN (1943). Director: Lew Landers.

The delightful Lupe Velez from the Mexican Spitfire series plays dual roles in this fairly amusing musical: Rita, whose boat is sunk as she reaches New York; and her identical cousin Maria, who is now known as Broadway star Elaine Manners. Maria has hid her marriage and pregnancy from the boss because he doesn't hire married women, so lookalike Rita's arrival is a godsend -- she can take Maria's place in the musical while the latter goes off to have her baby. Complications include a lover boy (Gerald Mohr from Angry Red Planet) who wants to marry Elaine, and a saxophonist named Jimmy (Michael Duane), who was on the same boat as Rita. [This whole business with the boat torpedoed, sunk, or whatever is sort of glossed over.] Velez is excellent in two roles, making them reasonably distinct, and shines in her snappy production numbers which feature some lively songs. In his second film Michael Duane is good-looking but betrays little real acting ability; still he amassed a few more credits up until 1948. Lewis Wilson, the first actor to play Batman, is cast as Elaine's husband. Shirley Patterson,/Shawn Smith --who was also in the Batman serial with Wilson --  is a switchboard operator. This was released by Columbia on the Port Pictures label.

Verdict: If you enjoy Velez, you may get a kick out of this. **1/2.

LOST CITY OF THE JUNGLE

LOST CITY OF THE JUNGLE (13 chapter Universal serial/1946). Directors: Lewis D. Collins; Ray Taylor.

Rod Stanton (Russell Hayden), an agent for the United Peace Foundation, is after a sinister figure, Sir Eric Hazarius (Lionel Atwill), who faked his own death and is calling himself "Jeffrey London." In Zalabar, the capital of Pendrang in the Himalayas, Dr. Elmore (John Eldredge) is working with London, unaware of his true identity. His daughter Marjorie (Jane Adams) has come to Zalabar to find her father. Nothing goes on in town without the say so of Indira (Helen Bennett), who at first seeks an alliance with London/Azarius, and seems to switch sides throughout the serial. Rounding out the cast of characters is agent Tal Shan (Keye Luke); Doc Harris (Ted Hecht), the casino owner; and a British gambler named "System" (Arthur Space, who was the villain in Panther Girl of the Kongo). There's a lot of talk of a Supersonic Wave Device made from "the most powerful radioactive element in the world," as well as treasure in a lost city with a statue of the Golden Goddess in the Cave of Eternal Sun. In other words, Lost City of the Jungle has practically everything in it but the proverbial kitchen sink. There are some effective cliffhangers involving earthquakes, fire pits, a gas-in-a-tomb death trap; and a guillotine held up by a rope that's rapidly burning. Good use of dramatic stock footage and an interesting score, as well. Hayden appeared mostly in westerns before and after this serial. Adams was Vicki Vale in the serial Batman and Robin; as an actress she had little oomph. Bennett had only a few credits to her name. 

Verdict: Definitely one of the more entertaining Universal serials. ***.

CRAIG KENNEDY, CRIMINOLOGIST

CRAIG KENNEDY, CRIMINOLOGIST 1952 half hour television series.

Craig Kennedy, Criminologist lasted one season and 26 episodes. Donald Woods [13 Ghosts] is excellent in the title role, solving mysteries with the aid of reporter Walter Jameson (Lewis Wilson) and police inspector J. J. Burke (Sydney Mason). At first all three seem like good friends, but as the series progresses the last two characters have more of an adversarial relationship somewhat similar to the later Spock/Bones friendly enemy business on Star Trek. Some of the more memorable episodes of the series include "Formula for Murder," in which  a dead scientist turns out to have two fiancees; and "The Trap," featuring skullduggery in a show business household and a very exciting climactic fight scene. In "The Case of Fleming Lewis," Jack Mulhall  plays an aged millionaire with a sexy young wife -- guess who gets murdered? Gloria Talbot [The Cyclops] guest-starred in the less interesting "Kid Brother." The show used the same actors over and over again in different supporting parts. Other guest-stars included Mara Corday [Girls on the Loose] and Phyllis Coates [Panther Girl of the Kongo and Incredible Petrified World], both of whom are quite good.

Verdict: Unexceptional but entertaining, with some snappy stories. **1/2.

X-MEN FIRST CLASS

X-MEN FIRST CLASS (2011). Director: Matthew Vaughn.

This installment in the X-Men series takes us back to 1962 during the Cuban missile crisis and shows us how the group of mutant super-heroes was formed. But first there's a prologue in 1944 in which Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon), apparently posing as a Nazi named Schmidt, induces young Eric Lensherr to unleash his magnetic powers by murdering his mother in front of his eyes. [It makes no sense that the boy would then kill the guards but leave Shaw alive aside from the fact that the plot seems to require this.] Years later Eric (Michael Fassbender), soon to be known as mutant terrorist Magneto, is an ally of Charles Xavier (James McAvoy), both of whom are working against Shaw and his sinister aides Emma Frost (the unfortunately named January Jones), and Azazel (Jason Flemying). Other X-characters include a pre-furry Hank McCoy AKA the Beast (Nicholas Hoult), Mystique AKA Raven (Beth Goddard), mutant researcher Moria MacTaggert (Rose Byrne), and a female Angel (Zoe Kravitz), whose being a former lap dancer seems to ensure that she'll go over to the dark side (yawn). Aside from some slips, X-Men First Class intelligently transfers and slightly transforms the mutant universe from comic book page to theater screen, and it does so with great dramatic flair and some excellent acting. Sensitive McAvoy and an intense Fassbinder are as splendid as Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen playing their older counterparts in the earlier films, Bacon is superb, and Jones displays just the right amount of confidence and attitude as Frost; other cast members are also on the money. Some very exciting and adroitly directed action sequences as well. Let's hope we see more X-action on the screen. Previous films were X-Men, X 2, X-Men: The Last Stand and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Excellent score by Henry Jackman.

Verdict: First class indeed! ***1/2.

RADAR PATROL VS. SPY KING

RADAR PATROL VS. SPY KING (12 chapter Republic serial/1949). Director: Fred C. Brannon.

Operative Chris Calvert (Kirk Alyn) and scientist Joan Hughes (Jean Dean) versus Spy King John Baroda (John Merton) and hench-woman Nitra (Eve Whitney), who hope to sabotage radar defense stations. The cliffhangers involve deadly acid, deadlier explosions and cars off of cliffs, plus a poison gas inside an encyclopedia and an exciting plane crash in chapter eleven. Tom Steele and Tristram Coffin are also in the cast. The serial has mediocre villains but a good climax in the air. George J. Lewis, who plays good guy Lt. Agura, was a villain in Federal Operator 99. Jean Dean was also in Blood of Dracula and Eve Whitney, playing herself, was the brunette party goer who inspires the jealous gals to go to "Charm School" on a classic episode of I Love Lucy. Merton was in several other serials, including Brick Bradford, Hop Harrigan, and The Adventures of Sir Galahad.

Verdict: Acceptable but second-rate serial. **1/2.  

BLACK SABBATH

BLACK SABBATH (aka I tre volti della paura/1963). Director: Mario Bava.

A trio of horror stories from the director of Blood and Black Lace. In "The Telephone" a young lady is bedeviled by an old boyfriend who escaped from jail, or is it really a woman friend [or lover] who is causing the turmoil behind the scenes? This segment is interesting but half-baked, bordering on stupid. In the best and second segment, "The Wurdalak," starring Boris Karloff and Mark Damon, a family must wonder if their returning patriarch has become a vampire. The best scene has a dead little boy crying out pathetically for his grieving mother. In the final sequence, "The Drop of Water," a woman steals a ring from a hideous corpse that haunts her. Like most of Bava's films, the art direction is excellent, but sometimes the garish color works against the film's atmosphere. Frankly, the first and third sections should have been dropped and the middle segment expanded into a full-length feature.

Verdict: One out of three ain't bad. **1/2.

BETTY WHITE IN BLACK AND WHITE

BETTY WHITE IN BLACK AND WHITE DVD collection.

If you can't get enough of Betty White, here's a DVD collection of some of her shows from the fifties. There are two episodes of Life with Elizabeth that she did with Del Moore [three sketches per episode] in which they play a married couple. The skits range in quality from amusing to tiresome but all are well-acted. Betty reveals a very pleasant singing voice on an episode of the daytime variety show The Betty White Show. Betty surprises a young orphan (also named Betty) with a ton of gifts but it's hard to tell if the strangely subdued child is shell-shocked or annoyed that she didn't get the gift she wanted! Then there are two episodes of the sitcom A Date with the Angels in which Betty and Bill Williams play another married couple. On one episode stately Nancy Kulp [Miss Jane Hathaway of The Beverly Hillbillies] plays a highly sophisticated wife of a friend. Judging by these episodes, A Date with the Angels was pleasant but forgettable. Lastly, there's two episodes of yet another program called The Betty White Show [this one aired in the evening] which also has comedy sketches featuring Jimmy Boyd and the wonderful Reta Shaw. I have to confess I didn't like the Olga cleaning woman sketch any better than I did Carol Burnett's later charwoman routine. All in all, this is an interesting collection, however. White exhibited a bundle of comedic talent practically from the first.

Verdict: If you're not into the "fabulous fifties," there's always White in The Golden Girls. **1/2.

BLADE

Wesley Snipes as vampire/vampire-hunter Blade

BLADE (1998). Director: Stephen Norrington.

The character of Blade first appeared in the Marvel comic book Tomb of Dracula. He was human, immune to vampire bites, and on a mission to find the particular vampire who turned his mother, even as he was in her belly, into a bloodsucker. Along the way he'd kill any vampire he encountered. Oddly, when this movie was made decades after Blade first appeared, they borrowed an idea from rival DC comics series "I, Vampire" from House of Mystery, in that like the hero of that series, the movie Blade is also a "good" vampire. A bigger problem is that this film isn't especially well directed, and the action scenes have no true punch, although there is a nifty sequence when skulls tear their way out of vampires' mouths. Wesley Snipes isn't much of an actor, and his performance seems to be a collection of grimaces. As his main adversary Deacon Frost, Stephen Dorff [Xlll] underplays too much and betrays no dramatic flair as the villain. Kris Kristofferson, without stretching overly much, probably gives the best performance as Blade's associate, Whistler. N'Busche Wright is also okay as a young doctor who becomes embroiled in dastardly events after being bitten. Blade is a somewhat noble figure who needs better treatment and a better actor. Unlike Tomb of Dracula, written by Marv Wolfman, the characterization in this film is minimal. Followed by two sequels.

Verdict: Stick with Dracula. **.

THE HOAX

THE HOAX (2006). Director: Lasse Hallstrom.

"No one flew you to Nassau, Cliff -- you're not that important."

In 1971 writer Clifford Irving (Richard Gere) comes up with an idea to secure respect and power in the publishing field by purporting to have worked with the infamous Howard Hughes on his autobiography. Excited by what they think they've got in their hands, his agent and publishers go along with him, quelling suspicions, until the questions become insurmountable. The film details how Irving, aided by collaborator Dick Suskind (Alfred Molina) and Irving's wife, Edith (Marcia Gay Harden), comes up with some immoral if gutsy maneuverings to outwit his doubters, rips off his publishers for hundreds of thousands of dollars, and basically disgraces himself -- although Irving himself probably wouldn't have put it that way. Irving tries to convince people that his real goal was to "take down a corrupt president" in a clumsy attempt to tie it all in with Watergate and come out smelling like a rose. Irving published a book about his experiences as a con artist, which was turned into this film, for which he was undoubtedly paid good money for the screen rights, sort of proving that sometimes crime does pay. By all rights, Irving should have been completely shunned by the publishing world but he managed to see a few more books in print. Gere is quite good as Irving, if probably less obnoxious than the real man, and an excellent Molina (Spider-Man 2) steals the show as his buddy-in-crime, the forgotten Suskind. Harden and other cast members, including the always-oustanding Eli Wallach, are also notable.

Verdict: Entertaining, but basically another hoax. **1/2.

 

DEATH KAPPA

DEATH KAPPA (2010). Tomo'o Haraguchi.

When a young Japanese woman's grandmother is killed by drunken, speeding revelers, a kappa, or water goblin, who loves cucumbers comes forth to get even with them. Later, when a gigantic monster called Hangylas attacks the city, the kappa grows to humongous size and takes it on. It's hard to tell if this movie is a deliberate parody or just utter schlock. The light-hearted tone is at odds with scenes of flying severed limbs and heads. Shaky camera movements, and no real improvement in effects since Godzilla of the fifties.

Verdict: atrocious. O stars.

HENRY ALDRICH'S LITTLE SECRET

Charles Smith

HENRY ALDRICH'S LITTLE SECRET (1944). Director: Hugh Bennett.

"I stand here slaving over a hot iron all day and you go out and make dates." -- Dizzy.

Henry (Jimmy Lydon) and his best bud Dizzy (Charles Smith) are in more hot water when they wind up babysitting little Ricky Martin (John David Robb) for a woman (Ann Doran) who leaves town abruptly to try to clear her wrongly imprisoned husband.This doesn't prevent Henry from going out on a date with sexy Jennifer (Tina Thayer), who has a ring Henry desperately wants to get back. Henry takes the baby with him when he takes Jennifer to a night club, and even asks the hat check girl: "I don't suppose you have any place to check a baby?" Lydon and Smith are both excellent -- like Lydon, Smith was a highly talented comic actor -- and this final entry in the Aldrich Family series is one of the very best and funniest.

Verdict: Henry goes out in style. ***.

HERE WE GO AGAIN: MY LIFE IN TELEVISION 1949 - 1995 BETTY WHITE

HERE WE GO AGAIN: My Life in Television, 1949 - 1995. Betty White.
Scribner; 1995. Updated edition.

The multi-talented White has written an engaging book about her days on television starting with a five hour long daily show in the fifties, at least three shows named "The Betty White Show," Life with Elizabeth, her stint as Sue Ann Nivens on Mary Tyler Moore, The Golden Girls, her many appearances on classic game shows, and her romance and marriage to Allen Ludden, host of Password and an actor in his own right. White also appeared a couple of years ago on the CBS soap The Bold and the Beautiful and gave a wonderful dramatic performance. Still, going strong, she is in the cast of TV Land's sitcom Hot in Cleveland. White writes with warmth, enthusiasm, and compassion, admitting some things are gratifying to the ego but never coming off as an egomaniac. The book provides an often fascinating look at the early days of television and the sometimes startling contrasts between those days and the mega-wonderland of the multi channel, Oprah-bucks cable experience of today. She's able to provide an interesting book even though she doesn't tell nasty stories about her co-workers, a feat in itself.

Verdict: Let's hope this gal goes on until shes 100 and then some!***.

DAREDEVILS OF THE RED CIRCLE

DAREDEVILS OF THE RED CIRCLE (12 chapter Republic serial/1939). Directors: John English; William Witney.

Harry Crowell (the great Charles Middleton) escapes from prison and is out to get diabolical revenge against Horace Granville (Miles Mander), whom he blames for his imprisonment. Crowell actually manages to disguise himself as Granville, hide the real Granville in a dungeon, and take his place in his own mansion -- with no one suspecting! The "daredevils." who are actually circus performers, get involved in the hunt for Crowell after the little brother of one of them is killed in one of the disasters Crowell engineers. Then there's the "Red Circle," a mysterious cloaked figure who leaves notes for the three daredevils  -- played by Charles Quigley (The Crimson Ghost, The Iron Claw), Bruce Bennett (Herman Brix) and David Sharpe. Carole Landis [A Scandal in Paris] is Granville's daughter, Blanche, and we mustn't forget the dog, Tuffie, a beautiful collie. There are several notable cliffhangers, including a flooded tunnel in chapter one.

Verdict: Fast-paced serial action. ***.

THE END OF NORMAL

THE END OF NORMAL: A WIFE'S ANGUISH, A WIDOW'S NEW LIFE. Stephanie Madoff Mack. Blue Rider Press; 2011.

NOTE: Great Old Movies is reviewing this as it sounds like a good bet for a telefilm. 

Stephanie Madoff Mack, the widow of Mark Madoff and the daughter-in-law of Bernie Madoff, writes of her ordeal [with the aid of Tamara Jones]. I'm not certain if a book on the trials and tribulations of the wealthy will necessarily go over big in these days of Occupy Wall Street and the 99%, but The End of Normal still makes a compelling read. It's unlikely that the book will unite Mack with the other members of the Madoff family as she writes unflinchingly of the foibles of her mother-in-law, Ruth, and brother-in-law, not to mention the deservedly detested Bernie. In other words, there's lots of insider "dish" in the tome. Mack describes Ruth as being "clueless," but she probably should have wondered whether it was a good idea to mention how she put up her own money, thousands of dollars, to run in a marathon when she's supposedly broke. [Of course, upper class people only think they're broke when they're down to their last $100,000.] Mark Madoff's decision to kill himself was a bad one, considering he left behind a wife and children, but as this book describes the emotional torment he went through dealing with betrayals by both father and mother, his ruined reputation and the like, it is easy to understand that his killing himself did not necessarily mean that he knew what his father was up to. That being said, other books, such as Madoff with the Money, insist that other family members did know what Bernie was doing but just looked the other way. Was it guilt, innocence, or the loss of a cushy lifestyle? Who knows?

Verdict: Very readable. ***.

SCRE4M

SCRE4M (also known as Scream 4/2011). Director: Wes Craven.

"How do you think people become famous? You don't have to do anything. Just have fucked up things happen to you."

It's been eleven years since the last Scream movie [Scream 3].  Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) has written a book about her ordeal and is back in town to promote it. Wouldn't you know there's yet another deranged individual who begins phoning teens, asking about horror movies, and slicing and dicing with abandon. The film is full of far too many unlikable characters, full of attitude, but sometimes the more appealing people get killed off as well. Emma Roberts plays Sidney's cousin, Jill, and Hayden Panetierre is her friend, Kirby. Mary McDonnell is Jill's mother. David Arquette and Courtney Cox are back as Sheriff Dewey and his wife, reporter, Gail Weathers. Anna Paquin is supposed to be in this but I swear I never noticed her, possibly because she's older than she was in X-Men. The picture isn't badly directed by Wes Craven [Kevin Williamson returns as writer], but you often get the impression that the music is doing most of the work. The acting is generally good, and whatever its flaws, the picture is entertaining and suspenseful.

Verdict: The Scream franchise reinvented for the youtube generation. ***.