GET HAPPY: THE LIFE OF JUDY GARLAND

GET HAPPY: THE LIFE OF JUDY GARLAND. Gerald Clarke. Dell/Random House. 2000.  

Here is another book that traces the life of the famous singer-actress in generally sympathetic fashion. Clarke looks at Garland's early life and her parents, her emergence as an MGM star, her struggles with diet and pills and more pills, her numerous affairs, marriages and divorces, and even her movies and concerts. There are some things in the tome that give one pause, however. The notion that Judy's mother, the homely Ethel Gumm, was trading sexual favors for consideration for her daughter, seems ludicrous, but to be fair Clarke says whether this is true or not "is impossible to say." Clarke is largely sympathetic to Judy's father, a theater owner, but there is a big difference between a man who is simply gay or bi and a married man who hits on teenage boys -- Clarke doesn't seem to get that if this was true the man was a predator. Clarke also seems too credible when presented with alleged evidence -- a letter -- that Tyrone Power was madly in love [!] with Garland. In those days (and even today) actors would have done anything to cover up even an inference of homosexuality. Clarke also states that Garland "occasionally enjoyed a frolic with another woman" but refuses to label her as bisexual -- huh? Still, Get Happy is well-written, and has some solid information to go with the more suspect material.

Verdict: Generally worthwhile if imperfect Garland bio. ***. 

WHEN LADIES MEET (1941)

Greer Garson and Joan Crawford

WHEN LADIES MEET (1941). Director: Robert Z. Leonard.

Successful novelist Mary Howard (Joan Crawford) is having an affair with her married publisher, Rogers Woodruf (Herbert Marshall of Andy Hardy's Blonde Trouble). Exploring this situation in her latest unfinished novel, Mary thinks that her heroine should go and talk things over frankly with her lover's wife. Jimmy Lee (Robert Taylor of The Night Walker), a boyish reporter who is in love with Mary, contrives to put wife and mistress together at a house in the country during a weekend in an effort to pull Mary away from Woodruf. When Mary meets Clare Woodruf (Greer Garson of Random Harvet) the latter is using a phony name as part of Jimmy's ploy, and has no idea who she really is. Neither does Clare realize that Mary is her husband's latest mistress. The two, who like each other very much, talk frankly about men, love, marriage, infidelity and the like until Rogers walks into the room, and the tenor of the conversation changes dramatically. 

Greer Garson and Robert Taylor

When Ladies Meet is a remake of the 1933 version starring Myrna Loy and Ann Harding. This version, although longer and with added sequences that are only mentioned in the original film, is equally entertaining and just as well-acted. One might argue that while Woodruf might get bored with the sweet Ann Harding, the very glamorous and beautiful Garson is a different kettle of fish! Still, Garson gives a good performance, along with Crawford, and as in the original film, the best scene is when the two ladies have a long talk just before bedtime. Taylor is good, but a cut below Robert Montgomery in the original, while Spring Byington as the weekend's hostess, Bridget, while perhaps not as funny as Alice Brady in the '33 version, is as spirited and delightful as ever.

Herbert Marshall and Joan Crawford

One improvement in the remake is the casting of Herbert Marshall as Rogers Woodruf. While Frank Morgan in the original was about as romantic as a dead fish, the more attractive and likable Marshall makes a convincing playmate for Crawford. While Woodruf is still a philandering dog in this version, the script and his emoting make his character much more palatable, and he seems genuinely concerned that he may have hurt Mary. Bridget's French butler, Pierre (Max Willenz) is funnier in this version, while Rafael Storm makes a bit more of an impression as Bridget's architect boyfriend, Walter. Another difference with the remake is that the Woodrufs have no children.

Verdict: A remake that is just as good as the original. ***. 

JUPITER'S DARLING

George Sanders and Esther Williams -- in the same movie!

JUPITER'S DARLING (1955). Director: George Sidney.

"If Hannibal attacks and Rome is destroyed, we can be buried together as man and wife." -- Fabius.

In 216 B.C. Hannibal (Howard Keel of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers) is marching toward Rome with hundreds of men and sixty elephants to sack the city. Inside the city, the dictator Fabius (George Sanders) tries his best to marry his recalcitrant fiancee Amytis (Esther Williams) while hoping he can hold the barbarians at bay. Amytis and her maid, Meta (Marge Champion), sneak off to grab a peek at the elephants -- and handsome Hannibal -- and before you know it they are captured by Hannibal's men. Now it's a question if Hannibal will murder Amytis as a spy or fall in love with her.

Howard Keel as the lusty Hannibal

Jupiter's Darling is a real oddity. First we have Esther Williams and George Sanders in the same movie, although it must be said that they play perfectly well together, although it's no question that despite Williams adroitness in this kind of stuff Sanders is the better actor. Then we have to take into consideration that this is, after all, an Esther Williams Musical and she does manage to get in a fair amount of swimming. Jupiter's Darling is also a kind of war movie (although the climactic battle never quite takes place) as well as a romance and action story. Everything but the kitchen sink. It would be all too easy to laugh at the picture if we were meant to take it seriously, but we're obviously not, and although the picture was a financial bomb for MGM -- it probably cost a fortune to make --  it is also quite entertaining and quite successful on several levels.

The magnificence of Rome

First there is the look of the picture. The cinematography by Paul Vogel and Charles Rosher is outstanding and the movie -- filmed in CinemaScope and Eastman color -- is great to look at throughout, thanks also to art direction by Cedric Gibbons [Tarzan and His Mate] and Urie McCleary. There is especially stunning underwater photography, and the underwater sequences are in every way splendid. Esther dances with some statues that come to life, and later is chased by three of Hannibal's men in an exciting and protracted sequence wherein you wonder when the participants managed to get some oxygen. The songs by Harold Adamson [Change of Heart] and Burton Lane are more than pleasant, with Keel warbling "The Road to Rome," "I Never Trust a Woman," and "Don't Let This Night Get Away." The soldiers come out with "Hannibal, Oh Hannibal," on more than one occasion. Although a dubbed Williams gets to sing "I Had a Dream", the duet she later sings with an un-dubbed Sanders, as well as a dance number for Marge and Gower Champion (playing another slave/soldier) was criminally cut, although it can be seen on the DVD.

Marge and Gower Champion dance with Hannibal's elephants

Speaking of the dancing, although his number about how he loves being a slave is in questionable taste, Gower delivers some fancy footwork in this sequence. Gower and his wife Marge really show off in a subsequent number in which they dance with a group of well-trained and talented elephants. (For the end of the film, the elephants were dyed different colors!) Hermes Pan did the lively choreography for the film. Keel, Williams, and especially Sanders, all offer good performances (albeit nothing Oscar-worthy), and they get excellent support from Norma Varden as Fabius' disapproving mother, Richard Hadyn as an historian, and Douglass Dumbrille as one of Fabius' generals.  An interesting aspect of the movie is that the heroine is essentially a traitress, although she does not kill anyone as some people have wrongly suggested. Another interesting aspect is that there's no way even audiences of the time could get around the fact that Hannibal and Amytis -- who fears becoming a vestial virgin -- are really shaking up that tent as Hannibal keeps postponing the sacking of Rome to satisfy his lusty appetites!

Verdict: Say what you will, this is an entertaining, colorful, and occasionally sexy MGM romp. ***. 

SMALL TOWN GIRL

Farley Granger and Jane Powell

SMALL TOWN GIRL (1953). Director: Leslie (Laszlo) Kardos.

Rich and patronizing playboy Richard Livingstone III (Farley Granger) speeds through the small town of Duck Creek, sasses Judge Kimbell (Robert Keith), and winds up thrown in jail for thirty days. Richard importunes the judge's daughter, Cindy (Jane Powell), to let him out one night for his "mother's" birthday. Richard has a jealous if unfaithful fiancee in Broadway star Lisa Bellmount (Ann Miller), but during a night in New York he and Cindy start to fall in love. How will the judge react when he is apprised of this situation?

Jane Powell

Small Town Girl is the perfect example of a well-turned out MGM musical. The players are fine and enthusiastic (Granger is much better than you might imagine); the TechniColor is vivid and beautiful; there are a couple of more than pleasant tunes ("Small Towns;" "The Fellow I Follow"); some excellent production numbers; and an essentially amiable if lightweight veneer that puts over the slight but entertaining storyline. Jane Powell [Seven Brides for Seven Brothers] again proves an adept leading lady with a lovely voice and good delivery. And besides Granger, Powell has a host of excellent supporting players and character actors to back her up.

Bobby Van 

First among these is Bobby Van [Lost Horizon], who plays Ludwig Schlemmer, the boy next door who has Broadway aspirations. Van is by no means handsome in Hollywood terms, but he is so irrepressible and talented that it doesn't matter; he has a kind of Al Jolson delight in performing. The most famous highlight of Small Town Girl is when Van literally hops his way across town in sheer spirited excitement, a well-choreographed (Busby Berkeley) sequence that was filmed with only a few cuts. When Ludwig meets Ann Miller and tells her his name, she says "Well, keep it quiet and no one will notice." Ludwig's father is played by "Cuddles" Sakall, whose character in this seems more grumpy and unpleasant than lovable.

Miller struts her stuff

Then there's Ann Miller [Carolina Blues]. There may well have been better female dancers in Hollywood musicals, but in this Miller stars in a zesty production number, "Feel That Beat," wherein the members of the band are hidden behind walls and under the floor, with only their arms and instruments protruding. As for the rest of the players, Robert Keith is fine as the judge, as is an uncredited Chill Wills as the friendly sheriff, Happy. Fay Wray is the judge's wife; Billie Burke is her dithery self as Richard's society mother; William Campbell is a reporter; Marie Blake is a shop customer; and Beverly Wills, the daughter of Joan Davis, plays Ludwig's sister, Deidre. Nat King Cole also sings a number, "Burn Low." Photographed by Joseph Ruttenberg.

Verdict: Delightful MGM musical. ***.   

MILLION DOLLAR MERMAID

Esther Williams with Victor Mature

MILLION DOLLAR MERMAID (1952). Director: Mervyn LeRoy.

Despite having to wear braces on her legs as a child, Australian Annette Kellerman (Esther Williams) becomes a swimming champion, winning race after race, in her native land. After her father, Frederick (Walter Pidgeon of Forbidden Planet),  has to close up his music conservatory, the two of them head for London and better prospects, where a impresario named James Sullivan (Victor Mature of Samson and Delilah) hires Annette to swim the Thames to create publicity for his new acquisition, a boxing kangaroo. But Sullivan's grand plan to have Annette star in a water ballet at New York's famed Hippodrome, may hit a snag.

Walter Pidgeon, Williams, Victor Mature

Million Dollar Mermaid is the fictionalized story of the real Annette Kellermann (with two "n"s), who was actually arrested for indecent exposure at Boston's Revere beach and designed a more stylish one-piece bathing suit for women to wear. The movie invents some other stuff to create a little more drama, such as a love rival for Sullivan in the form of Hippodrome manager Alfred Harper (David Brian), arguments between Annette and James, and an accident on a film set -- Kellermann made several silent movies --  in which a tank in which she's swimming cracks apart and she's severely injured. The performances in this are all quite good from the leads down to the supporting cast. Even Jesse White is more likable than usual as Jame's friend and associate, Doc. Howard Freeman also scores as Mr. Aldrich, who wants to book Annette for a lecture circuit. George Wallace [Radar Men from the Moon] shows up briefly as a stunt pilot.

Don't lose your grip, honey! 

Hired to handle the water ballet production numbers for the film, Busby Berkeley, pulled out all the stops. There are men skiing down a slope while the ladies rush below them in a watery funnel; men and women diving off of swings high in the air and slicing smoothly into the huge pool beneath them; Esther rising up out of the water as she holds on to a ring and dancers do their kaleidoscopic thing far, far  down below her. George J. Folsey's cinematography is excellent throughout the film as well. At one point Annette, who'd planned on becoming a ballet dancer, gushes over Paylova (Maria Tallchief), but Williams' efforts to perform some kind of underwater ballet are relatively pitiful.

Verdict: Entertaining biopic with pleasing performers and that certain MGM gloss.***. 

HAPPILY BURIED

Rita Oehmen and John Hubbard

HAPPILY BURIED (1939 MGM short). Director: Felix E. Feist.

In this musical comedy short, the owners of two rival waffle companies -- Evelyn Foster (Rita Oehmen) and Richard Wright (John Hubbard of Up in Mabel's Room) -- decide to form a merger and get married. Unfortunately, Evelyn wants to stick with the round "magic circle" waffle iron while Richard insists they only offer the "four corners" square waffle iron. Of course, they could decide to manufacture both waffle irons, but that would be too easy. Richard decides to perk up business for his company by putting himself in a transparent coffin for the publicity value, while Evelyn exhibits the world's largest (round) waffle iron -- which can hold an orchestra and dancers -- at the 1939 World's Fair, an exhibition which Richard sabotages. While both parties are stubborn, Richard is so obnoxious that it's staggeringly sexist that Evelyn would happily take the creep back at the end. Both Oehmen (who had a lot of heartbreak in her life) and Hubbard (who was billed as "Anthony Allan" for this and other early film appearances) have pleasing personalities and Hubbard has a smooth and attractive tenor voice. He had a very long career, especially on television in his later days. Oehmen's only starring role was in a western programmer, Gun Law, and she had only three other credits, Happily Buried being the last of them. Her daughter, Charmian Carr, appeared in The Sound of Music. Benny Rubin plays an Hindu prince who can walk on coals. Incidentally, The songs are by Wright and Forest of Kismet fame. Incidentally, does this silly short forecast the fact that round waffle irons seem no longer to exist except as antiques on ebay? What a shame!

Verdict: Pleasant short with some singing. **. 

THE KISSING BANDIT

Kathryn Grayson and Frank Sinatra

THE KISSING BANDIT (1948). Director: Laslo Benedek.

"You kiss women you don't even know, whom you've never been introduced to?"

Ricardo (Frank Sinatra) comes down to California in a pre-statehood period to take over his late father's business. Unfortunately Ricardo thinks his father's business is an inn which is really just the front for the man's true activities as the notorious "kissing bandit," who terrorized the land but made all the ladies swoon. Ricardo's friend Chico (J. Carrol Naish) tries to groom the young man to take over as the bandit, but the problem is that shy Ricardo hasn't kissed a girl in his life! Further complications ensue when a tax man arrives from Spain, the snooty Count Belmont (Carleton G. Young), accompanied by  his security chief General Toro (Billy Gilbert); Ricardo and Chico wind up impersonating them at the home of Don Jose (Mikhail Rasumny of Her Husband's Affairs), whose beautiful daughter Teresa (Kathryn Grayson) has fallen for Ricardo and vice versa. Frank Sinatra gives one of his best performances -- playing a milquetoast with no experience with the ladies! -- in The Kissing Bandit, and is both charming and amusing, resisting any attempts to wink at the audience and suggest he's really a "stud." Naish is simply superb as Chico, losing himself, as this fine actor generally does, in his comical characterization. Grayson with her beautiful voice is lovely and adept. Mildred Natwick [Peyton Place] scores as Teresa's Aunt Isabella, who tells her niece at the approach of the Kissing Bandit on the highway that she "will make the sacrifice" and get kissed by the notorious bandit instead; Isabella also develops a hankering for Chico/General Toro. Clinton Sundberg [Living in a Big Way] is notable as the servile Gomez, as are Young and Gilbert. The score is quite nice, with such numbers as "Tomorrow Brings Romance;" "Siesta;" "Love is Where You Find It;" and, especially, "If I Steal Your Heart." [The composers are not credited but Andre Previn may have been one of them.] Another highlight is a lively dance number with Ricardo Montalban, Ann Miller, and Cyd Charisse.

Verdict: Cute and very entertaining MGM musical with wonderful performances from all. ***.