THE CARETAKERS

THE CARETAKERS (1963). Produced and directed by Hall Bartlett.

Lorna Melford (Polly Bergen) has been deteriorating mentally ever since the death of her little boy, and her husband, Jim (Robert Vaughn), has no choice but to put her in the Canterbury state mental hospital. There she is enrolled in a controversial new program called "Borderline," where several patients are isolated from the others and may even have a chance at being outpatients in the future. This program is run by Dr. MacLeod (Robert Stack), and he is violently opposed by head nurse Lucretia Terry (Joan Crawford), who has been with the institute for a long time and thinks his methods are impractical and ridiculous. Frankly, although the film clearly takes the side of McLeod -- I mean, "Lucretia?" --  considering some of the goings-on in the hospital you can certainly see Terry's objections. Lorna actually tries to stab one (admittedly unpleasant) nurse, Bracken (Constance Ford) in the back, and runs off only to wind up in a ward with psychotic males who try to have their way with her (what actually happens is left to the imagination). Still MacLeod and his staff -- Nurse Clark (Susan Oliver), Dr. Denning (Van Williams), and Nurse Horne (Diane McBain) -- are convinced that Lorna and the others can someday lead normal and productive lives. Well ... maybe. 

Butting heads: Stack and Crawford with McBain in back

The Caretakers tries to come off as a compassionate and sincere look at the struggles of the mentally ill, and almost succeeds, although it can't quite resist succumbing to the lurid on more than one occasion. Director Bartlett keeps things moving and the film has several cinematic, briskly-edited sequences, such as when Lorna gets shock treatment. Bergen gives a good performance although she almost goes over the top on more than one occasion. Robert Stack comes off like the grim Elliott Ness in the opening sequences -- who would want him for a doctor? -- but he warms up a bit as the movie proceeds and has an excellent sequence when he talks about his own father's mental illness. Joan Crawford plays with her customary authority and gives a very good latter-day performance, classing up the picture to a certain degree, as does Herbert Marshall in his sympathetic portrayal of Dr. Harrington, the hospital's superintendent. 

Joan oversees her nurses learning judo

Inmates are portrayed by such as Janis Paige  [Please Don't Eat the Daisies], who nearly steals the picture as the prostitute Marion, who covers up her insecurities with cutting remarks. Ellen Corby is the grandmotherly type who tries to be kind to all of the others. Barbara Barrie is Edna, who hasn't spoken for seven years, and nearly sets fire to the ward before miraculously uttering her first word. (This is one person who should definitely not be an outpatient! She and Lorna obviously need a lot more help before they can go home, and Nurse Terry would undoubtedly agree!) Robert Vaughn, that ultra-cool Man from UNCLE, gives a strong performance as a man who is simply unable to cope with his wife's severe mental and emotional problems. Susan Oliver and Van Williams are given a well-played scene together as the former wonders if she's really cut out for her job. Constance Ford ["The Creeper"] is effective as the rather cold Nurse Bracken, who backs up Lucretia Terry in every way she can. 

Constance Ford tussles with Polly Bergen

Crawford and Marshall, those old pros, play extremely well together. At one point Nurse Terry says "Sometimes I look back and I see myself years ago," the line given added poignancy by the fact that both, long-time stars, are playing supporting roles in a picture that may not be worthy of their talents. Elmer Bernstein's score has its attractive aspects, but it is also inappropriately jazzy and "sensational" at times. Cinematographer Lucien Ballard gives the film a crisp look, and there is one sobering moment when the camera pulls way, way back to show exactly how large the ward is and how many poor people are, in a sense, trapped there. 

Verdict: For all its obvious flaws, the picture is absorbing, ***. 

CLAUDELLE INGLISH

Arthur Kennedy, Diane McBain, Constance Ford

CLAUDELLE INGLISH (1961). Director: Gordon Douglas.

Claudelle (Diane McBain) lives in a rented farmhouse with her father, Clyde (Arthur Kennedy), and her unhappy mother, Jessie (Constance Ford). Jessie is horrified at the thought of her daughter marrying a poor man, Linn (Chad Everett, who was 24 but looks about 12), and living the same kind of deprived life that she has. Claudelle has nothing to worry about on that score, however, as Linn falls in love with somebody else and she is devastated. Determined not to ever marry anyone, Claudelle embarks on a campaign to date very many boys and acquire gifts from all of them in exchange for you-know-what. In this amusingly lurid soaper, Claudelle's sensuality pits fathers against sons, inflames the lust of her father's boss (Claude Akins), and even starts her mother on the pathway to back seat action! 

Chad Everett, Diane McBain, Will Hutchins

Claudelle isn't really "evil," but the production code insures a "sin and suffer approach" to the proceedings. McBain [Parrish] was very appealing in some roles, and perhaps her casting prevents her from being too slatternly, but she doesn't quite throw herself into the difficult part as other actresses might have done; she's simply a bit too lightweight (although one could argue that she underplays). Arthur Kennedy was always a good actor but sometimes, as in this, he just seems to be going through the motions; Constance Ford is better as his rather desperate wife, and Claude Akins [Tentacles] is just terrific as horny, old Crawford. Claudelle's "suitors" include Will Hutchins, Robert Colbert, Frank Overton, Jan Stine, and an especially charming Robert Logan [77 Sunset Strip]. Claudelle Inglish is trashily entertaining, but it lacks the good dialogue and characterizations that might have lifted it above a soap opera level. Based on the novel by Erskine Caldwell, who also wrote "Tobacco Road." Gordon Douglas also directed the excellent creature feature Them.

Verdict: Lots of fun in spite of itself, but it might as well have been even trashier. ***.

A DISTANT TRUMPET

Suzanne Pleshette and Troy Donahue

A DISTANT TRUMPET (1964). Director: Raoul Walsh.

"Burning while Rome fiddles?"

Lt. Matt Hazard (Troy Donahue) is sent from the graduating class at West Point to Fort Delivery in Arizona. Doing things by the book, he whips the soldiers into shape -- to their dissatisfaction. When a merchant, Seely Jones (Claude Akins), offering booze and women to the troops, shows up, Hazard contrives to get rid of him. Although he has a fiancee, Laura (Diane McBain), back east -- who eventually appears -- Hazard is romantically drawn to Kitty (Suzanne Pleshette), who is married to Captain Mainwaring (William Reynolds). In addition to a love triangle and resentful soldiers, Hazard has to deal with Indian troubles in the person of Chief War Eagle (uncredited) -- and the U.S. Army itself, which may go back on its promises to Native Americans.

When Ladies Meet: Pleshette with McBain

A Distant Trumpet, the last film for director Raoul Walsh, was excoriated by critics when it was released, and star Troy Donahue along with it. In truth, the picture, although certainly not a forgotten classic, is not terrible and neither is Donahue. Although still a bit stiff in quieter scenes, Donahue plays the lieutenant in an authoritative fashion and has a commanding presence. The two ladies give good performances if only on a soap opera level; McBain is stronger than expected, and Pleshette not as good as one might have hoped. (She was married to Donahue for a grand total of nine months!) All of the leads are a bit too contemporary in style. William Reynolds is good as Mainwaring but he disappears too quickly.

Donahue with James Gregory

Others in the cast are more memorable: Although a trifle too pompous at times, James Gregory scores as General Quaint, who goes to bat for Hazard when he confronts the Secretary of War (Kent Smith) over the treatment of the Indians. Claude Akins is flavorful as the ever-scheming Jones. Larry Ward is effective as the undisciplined Sgt. Krogur, as is Bobby Bare as the alleged deserter Crenshaw. Lane Bradford makes an impression as the nasty Indian-hating Major Miller, who gets a sock in the jaw from Hazard for his trouble. 

Hazard at West Point

A Distant Trumpet can be classified as one of those movies that is good enough that you wish it had been better. Walsh turns in an adept directorial job that keeps things moving and Max Steiner's score, especially the martial theme, is excellent, embellishing every sequence. William H. Clothier contributed the sweeping Panavision cinematography. But A Distant Trumpet is still unsatisfying, probably due to the weaknesses of the script, some unlikable characters (although Hazard is a bit redeemed at the end), and the lack of a dramatic climax. 

Verdict: Reasonably entertaining Western that looks good and has some interesting sequences. **3/4. 

I SAILED TO TAHITI WITH AN ALL GIRL CREW

Gardner McKay

I SAILED TO TAHITI WITH AN ALL GIRL CREW (1968). Written, produced, and directed by Richard L. Bare.

When he's drunk, Terry O'Brien (Gardner McKay of Adventures in Paradise) makes a bet that he can sail to Tahiti with an all-girl crew and arrive before his opponent, Josh (Fred Clark). If he loses, he has to give Josh his boat, the Samaran. His international crew consists of Liz (Diane McBain); sexy ex-stripper Marilyn (Edy Williams of The Naked Kiss); Monique (Jeanne Rainer); the cook and aspiring dancer Tamaya (Bebe Louie); and Janet (Arlene James). One of these women has viciously stabbed a man and is on the run, and there's a stowaway named Jimsy (Mary O'Brien), a tomboy who wants to join the crew and has a crush on Terry. If the movie weren't bad enough, we also have irritating Pat Buttram as a lawman on the hunt for the aforementioned stabber. Richard Denning [The Black Scorpion] plays a commodore who decides to choose the winner with a photo finish. The gals are pretty; glib if charming McKay is as handsome as ever; there are some nice yachts and pretty blue water; and one clever bit, when Tamaya keeps eggs from rolling off the counter by putting them in her bra cups. There's maybe one other laugh in what seems like a not-very-expensive home movie. I guess McKay beat Elvis to the punch because you can just see Presley warbling tunes and romancing women on the way to Tahiti -- I mean, this was an irresistible plot for the "Pelvis." I Sailed to Tahiti has no songs, but there is an Hawaiian dance number.

Verdict: I kept expecting Sonny and Cher to show up any minute and do the frug. *1/2.

SURFSIDE 6

Troy Donahue, Lee Patterson, Van Williams

SURFSIDE 6 (1961).

This hour-long action-mystery series lasted for two seasons. Dave Thorne (Lee Patterson of The Flying Scot) and Kenny Madison (Van Williams of The Green Hornet) lived on a houseboat in Miami Beach and formed the Thorne-Madison private detective agency. Their rich buddy, Sandy Winfield III (Troy Donahue of Parrish) lived at the yacht club and kibitzed with the other two until he seemed to be working for, or with, them full-time. Each episode would star one of these three actors, although there were times when the others would appear; sometimes all three guys would get involved in a particularly difficult case. Beside the assorted women who would appear in each episode, there were two female regulars: Diane McBain as Daphne Dutton, a pretty heiress who hangs around the boys and occasionally gets mired in one of their cases; and Margarita Sierra as "Cha Cha" O'Brien, a poor man's Carmen Miranda and night club entertainer. Sierra was never a good fit for the program, as sometimes the story would have to stop dead to include one of her numbers while the other actors wore frozen smiles in reaction shots. On rare occasions "Cha Cha" would have something to do with the main storyline. Sierra over-sang everything terribly. In the first season the boys' police liaison was the gruff, nearly barking Lt. Snedigar (Don "Red" Barry), while in the second season he was replaced by Lt. Plehn (Richard Crane), who was a bit more pleasant but just as professional. Both actors offered interesting and adept portrayals, and Crane was especially good.

The most memorable episodes of the series include: "The Old School Tie," with Gloria Talbott involved with murder at a reunion; "Midnight for Prince Charming," with a lonely man conned by a criminal couple; "Race Against Time," with Lee's associates desperately trying to save his life after he's been poisoned on an airliner; "Vengeance is Bitter," concerning a roman a clef about a murder case and the attempts to uncover the author; "Anniversary Special," a twisted domestic drama about a TV host and his unhappy wife, with both roles played superbly by William Windom and Jeanne Cooper; and "Overdose of Justice," in which a ferociously good Mara Corday [Tarantula] plays a vicious beauty involved with a love-sick insurance man played by Ed Platt [Get Smart]. The vast majority of episodes in the series were solid "B"s if not better with a few clunkers along the way. Although Donahue tended to be a bit stiff, he was okay in most episodes, with Williams and Patterson exhibiting a bit more flair and charm. Diane McBain was lovely and talented. I can't make up my mind if the theme music is catchy or really annoying.

Verdict: Entertaining mystery series with handsome studs and pretty gals awash in intrigue. ***.

PARRISH

Claudette Colbert looks at Troy Donahue with misgivings

PARRISH (1961). Writer/Producer/Director: Delmer Daves.

"If there's a death warrant for happiness, you've described it."

Ellen McLean (Claudette Colbert) gets a job as a sort of companion to Alison Post (Diane McBain), whose father, Sala (Dean Jagger), refuses to let Ellen's son, Parrish (Troy Donahue), live with them. Parrish nevertheless gets a job working Post's tobacco fields, and becomes friends with the vivacious if unsophisticated Lucy (Connie Stevens). Meanwhile Ellen finds herself drawn to the charismatic tobacco magnate, Jud Raike (Karl Malden), and Parrish soon finds himself with opportunities he may not desire, besides being in the middle of a love triangle with Lucy and Alison -- not to mention Jud's daughter, Paige (Sharon Hugueny). Parrish is a highly enjoyable light drama with some excellent performances. Although Troy Donahue is hardly in the league of the other actors, his brooding, intense quality works for the part and he even manages to do some genuine acting in certain scenes; he certainly doesn't ruin the movie as he did My Blood Runs Cold and may well have upped his game due to the influence of director Daves as well as Colbert and Malden; he proves a good listener if nothing else. Colbert gives a wonderful performance as the free-spirited mother who still has her standards; Connie Stevens and Diane McBain, one earthy, the other patrician, play with conviction; and Karl Malden, in a ferociously powerful performance, positively walks off with the picture. There is also fine work from Jagger [My Son John]; Hampton Fancher [Rome Adventure] as the slimy Edgar Raike; and Huguney as his love-happy sister, Paige. Director of Photography Harry Stradling [Suspicion] gives the picture a fairly glamorous sheen, and all of the aforementioned ladies -- and Donahue -- look stunning throughout. While nowadays the tobacco industry would be more deserving of an expose than a romance, Parrish is still a very entertaining picture. Max Steiner's insinuating musical score adds to the picture's class.

Verdict: Fine acting, interesting script, class production put this over. ***.