GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH

an evil gremlin on the loose!

GREMLINS 2: THE NEW BATCH (1990). Director: Joe Dante. 

Billy (Zach Galligan) and Kate (Phoebe Cates) from Gremlins are engaged and living in New York City. Both of them work in real estate developer Daniel Clamp's (John Glover) Trade Centre, which is a fully-automated "smart building." Billy discovers that little Gizmo from the first film has been put in a genetics lab in the building after the death of his Chinese owner, Wing (Keye Luke). Billy frees Gizmo from the lab, but the cute little fellow gets wet and before you know it the Trade Centre is over-run with ferocious if fun-loving evil gremlins! Billy comes up with a brilliant if risky plan to get rid of them. 

Galligan, Cates and Glover with Gizmo in a box

Like its predecessor, Gremlins 2:The New Batch is a pretty silly movie, but it's hard to dislike because of its constant, generally amusing, references to films and popular culture. Galligan, Cates and Glover are perfectly amiable and adept performers, but they are lost in a virtual sea of weird-looking puppets and aging, lovable character actors. One gremlin drinks a special "brain formula" and turns into an erudite pseudo-British type voiced in great style by Tony Randall. We have a hilarious turn or two by the wonderful Kathleen Freeman, who plays a cooking hostess who loves her cooking sherry and finds a slimy-looking gremlin in her stew. I have no idea why Al Lewis didn't play the horror movie host because the character in this is obviously modeled on "Ole Grandpa" from The Munsters, but Robert Prosky does a good enough job impersonating him. There are also some fun supporting turns from Dick Miller and Jackie Joseph, and a funny bit from Kenneth Tobey. 

Gizmo does a dance for the twins and Lee

Three other performers deserve a special mention: Christopher Lee gets right into the manic spirit of the piece in his portrayal of the head of the genetics lab; Robert Picardo offers a snappy portrait of the no-nonsense heartless corporate assistant type who ignites the passion of the one female (?) gremlin in the bunch; and Haviland Morris is utter perfection as Billy's also-lustful boss who has her eyes on him as well as on the prize. Walking into a web spun by a giant spider-gremlin she says "This is new." Gremlins 2 also features a charming scene when Gizmo comes out of his cage to boogie to some rock music and twin assistants dance along with him as Lee looks on with disapproval. Then there's the very clever bit when the Gremlins invade a projection room and set fire to a print of -- you guessed it -- Gremlins 2!

Two other items I must mention. I enjoyed the stop-motion work in the film, which includes a flying bat-gremlin that attacks Dick Miller and turns into a gargoyle -- this was done by the Doug Beswick studios. And then there are the guest appearances by Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, especially the latter. Watch the closing credits to watch lovable Daffy's reaction to how damn long the credits to movies are these days!

Verdict: One could easily denounce this as stupid and note that the pacing is often off, but the darn thing can be inventive and amusing in equal measure. ***.

THE TERMINATOR

Arnold Schwarzenegger

THE TERMINATOR (1984). Director: James Cameron.

In the year 2029 Los Angeles and the world are in the midst of war started by rogue robots who want to destroy mankind. When a cyborg killing machine known as a "terminator" (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is sent back in time to murder the mother of the leader of the resistance -- John Connor --  he is followed by Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn of Deadly Intentions), whose mission is to save her life at any cost. At first Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton) is resistant to Reese's approaches, but after the Terminator wipes out a police station she realizes that his fantastic story is utterly true ...

Michael Biehn and Linda Hamilton

I confess I was never all that carried away with this picture at the time of its release, and my opinion hasn't changed all these years later. The Terminator uses a number of sci fi and comic book tropes to tell its story, which is mildly interesting, and the characters are hardly that dimensional. (Harlan Ellison felt the opening moments of the film were too close to one of his stories and received a settlement and a credit on the DVD.) Although the movie moves at a very fast pace, it seems better edited than directed. The performances are good -- Schwarzenegger only needs to look determined and grim and he does that okay -- and the film has an undeniably exciting climax in a factory when the robotic infrastructure of the Terminator is revealed. The obligatory sex scene is tiresome, but necessary in some ways for the plot.

The Terminator sheds its Schwarzenegger skin

Although these questions may have been answered in the sequels -- to date there have been five -- one has to wonder why the unmarried Sarah doesn't ask Reese why her son in the future has the same last name that she does. And why does the cyborg have an Austrian accent? Bill Paxton has a very small role as a thug but in a few years he would be co-starring with both Schwarzenegger and Biehn [Aliens] in different productions (both directed by James Cameron). Dick Miller [A Bucket of Blood] has a cameo as a gun shop owner who gets on the wrong end of Schwarzenegger's shotgun. Brad Fidel's score is generally pretty cheesy, but the FX work by Stan Winston and others is fine.

Verdict: Odd that this mediocre and highly over-rated little film started such a successful franchise. **1/2. 

BEACH BALL

Call her Miss Ross

BEACH BALL (1965). Director: Lennie Weinrib.

"Wriggle, wriggle. Dr. Tickle, Dr. Tickle, Right now." -- lyrics.

Dick Martin (Edd Byrnes) tries to raise money to pay for instruments for his band, the Wrigglers, by getting grant money for college under false pretenses. When Susan (Chris Noel). the gal who hands out the grants, discovers the truth. she and her intellectual lady friends put on bikinis and try to get Dick and the guys to stay in school. This is the plot -- I wouldn't kid you. Five minutes into the flick The Four Seasons appear to sing the catchy "Dawn," but, unfortunately, they are never seen again. There are appearances by the Righteous Brothers, the Hondells, and the Supremes, each of whom are given one number except for the last group, who are forced to sing a couple of bad, inappropriate "surfer" songs, although the second one, the title tune, is somewhat less awful than the first. Desperately playing college boys are Aaron Kincaid and Robert Logan, the latter of which appeared with Byrnes on 77 Sunset Strip. Even the worst episode of that series would have been better than sitting through this excruciatingly boring and completely unfunny farce, although the actors are at least enthusiastic. The songs sung by the "Wrigglers" are mostly dreadful, although "Candy, Baby," is perhaps the least dreadful. Rock movies in the fifties generally spent more time on the special guest-stars than the plot -- if only that had been the case with Beach Ball, whose acts have limited running time. If they'd just let Frankie Valli and the fellows sing one number after another, you might not be reaching for that fast forward button. The fellows dress in drag for their final number, and a gag is lifted from Some Like It Hot. A guy asks Logan, still wearing his wig, for a date. Logan removes the wig and says "It wouldn't work out between us." The guy replies, "Yeah, you're taller than I am." He then turns to Kincaid, "what about you, honey?" This little bit of gay humor. albeit unoriginal, is handled with perfect amiability. The movie, alas, is too stupid to ever really amount to anything. Dick Miller has a small role as a cop and is fine. James Wellman, who plays Bernard Wolf, the man who wants the money for the band instruments, is pretty bad.

Verdict: This imitation of the AIP Beach party movies from Paramount is even worse than the originals. *1/2.

GREMLINS

Gizmo, the mogwai

GREMLINS (1984). Director: Joe Dante.

Looking for a special present for his son, Billy (Zach Galligan), Randall Peltzer (Hoyt Axton) buys a strange creature called a mogwai from a Chinatown curiosity shop. Christened "Gizmo,' the adorable creature loves to sing, but certain rules regarding the animal must be followed or disaster will follow. Naturally these rules are inadvertently broken and before long the bucolic town of Kingston Falls is besieged by a horde of nasty, chittering "gremlins" causing utter havoc. Gremlins is a pretty silly movie, but it's also an entertaining and amusing one, with an interesting premise (a take on the dangerous and mythical "gremlins" that allegedly plagued airmen and others), and some superior special effects work, especially in puppetry and make-up effects. Zach Galligan and Phoebe Cates make a charming romantic couple, and Polly Holliday is fun as the town's heartless old woman who takes a deadly trip on a staircase elevator that goes riotously out of control. Jackie Joseph and Dick Miller [A Bucket of Blood] score as neighbors of the Peltzers, and there's a cameo from Kenneth Tobey as well. Keye Luke, Scott Brady [Mohawk] , and Jonathan Banks [Wiseguy] also have significant roles and are fine. Ditto for Mushroom, who plays the dog, Barry, and nearly steals the picture, no easy feat. There is an uncomfortable aspect to the film, however, and that's that the evil gremlins (as opposed to Gizmo, who in a sense, gives birth to these monsters) are dark in color and there are times when they are clearly modeled on certain black stereotypes -- almost as if the movie is depicting an inner city invasion of a mostly Caucasian town [We see only one black inhabitant, a likable school teacher, who comes afoul of the Gremlins.] None of this may have been intended, but it does seem in bad taste. While there are quite a few inventive ideas in this, the picture needs tightening in both the editing and pacing departments. This was a very, very successful picture and engendered one sequel and a whole slew of imitations. Although several people are apparently killed by the end of the film, the Peltzer family, who essentially created the whole mess, seem completely unaffected by it.

Verdict: Hardly for every taste, but this is an often clever black comedy. ***.

THE GIRLS ON THE BEACH

THE GIRLS ON THE BEACH (1965). Director: William Witney.

"I saw them on Ed Sullivan. Lovely boys -- but they could certainly use a haircut."

It turns out that the treasury of the Alpha Beta sorority is depleted, and a big mortgage payment is due. How can the girls raise the money to save their house? Some of the young women enter a cooking contest; Patricia (Lori Saunders) enters a beauty/talent competition; Arlene ((Anna Capri) gets nerdy, bright Stu (Peter Brooks) to help her with puzzles that pay; and Selma (Noreen Corcoran) and her pals get completely hoodwinked by three horny guys who promise them that they personally know the Beatles; the fab four will raise the money they need by singing at a show. Yeah, right. The Beatles, of course, never appear in this movie, but we do get the Beach Boys and Lesley Gore, who sings "It's Gotta Be You" and "Loser in Love" in the movie's most memorable sequences. Martin West plays Duke, the leader of the trio who "know" the Beatles, and Aron Kincaid and Steven Rogers are his pals; the funniest scene has them trying to duck out of the sorority house by dressing in drag. Sheila Bromley plays Mrs. Winters, the house mother who's given away all of their money; Arnold Lessing is Patricia's disapproving, hypocritical boyfriend, Frank; and there are cameos by Bruno VeSota [The Cat Burglar] and the ever-lovable Dick Miller [A Bucket of Blood] . Lana Wood appears as Bonnie. The gals try to imitate the Beatles with dismal results. William Witney directed a lot of lively cliffhanger serials such as The Crimson Ghost.

Verdict: Utterly amiable junk. **1/2.

THE UNDEAD

 














THE UNDEAD (1957). Producer/Director: Roger Corman.

 "Keep thy place, malignancy!"

Diana Love (Pamela Duncan of Attack of the Crab Monsters) is a prostitute who is regressed to a past life via hypnotism. Suddenly she finds that she is a witch named Helene living in medieval times and dealing with stuff she never had to deal with in the 20th century -- such as the fact that if she doesn't  die in the past she will have no future lives at all, and presumably this means her current life as Diana -- as well as such folk as Pendragon (Richard Garland, who was also in Crab Monsters), another witch named Livia (Allison Hayes), Smolkin the gravedigger [there's a nifty scene with Helene inside a coffin with a corpse essayed by Paul Blaisdell], and others. Richard Devon as Satan is a little hokey in the prologue, but gets better as the film proceeds. Dick Miller [A Bucket of Blood] is a leper, Billy Barty [The Day of the Locust] is an imp, and Bruno Vesota [The Wasp Woman] is an innkeeper, while Val Dufour plays Quintus Ratcliff and Dorothy Neumann is the elderly witch, Meg Maud. Duncan gives a good performance, and Hayes is as vivid as ever. This is an interesting picture with an unusual plot; it should have been made into a full-fledged fantasy film with FX, monsters, color and the works. As it is, it's entertaining and special fun for Corman fans.

Verdict: It's certainly different! ***.

V -- THE FINAL BATTLE (1984)

V: THE FINAL BATTLE (1984). Director: Richard T. Heffron.

In this sequel to the original 1983 mini-series, V,  the war continues between human rebels and the invading force of alien Visitors. In this somewhat more entertaining sequel, Willie (Robert Englund), the "nice" alien, is taken captive by the resistance, even as one of their number, annoying young Robin (Blair Tefkin), discovers that she is pregnant with a half-alien baby. There's a nasty young human traitor named Daniel (David Packer). Julie (Faye Grant) is the leader of the resistance, and the scenes when she is taken captive and tortured and brain-washed go beyond the point of tedium. Mike Donovan (Marc Singer), hero of the first installment, is in a private war with his nasty collaborationist step-mother (Neva Patterson). Andrew Prine, Dick Miller, and Michael Ironside all appear, but the most amusing guest-star is Sarah Douglas as an alien commander named -- get this -- Pamela. It's already remarkable that the aliens use their Earth names to refer to one another even in private, but Pamela shows up from deep space sporting a thoroughly English accent [she even says "lefttenant" instead of "Lieutenant"]! This undercuts any seriousness intended by the producers, and the religiosity of the piece is also a bit irritating. There are some good scenes in this but it was all much, much better done in last year's unfortunately canceled ABC series, V, which lasted for two seasons. Jane Badler, who played head alien Diana in the 80's version, guest-starred as a variation of that character in the more recent series.

Verdict: Looks like those visitors are gone for good. **1/2.

IT CONQUERED THE WORLD

IT CONQUERED THE WORLD (1956). Producer/director: Roger Corman.

"For a few dollars you can have a woman who'll fit all of your fetishes."

"It and some others are the sole survivors of a race born too soon."

Dr. Paul Nelson (Peter Graves), who's in charge of a space project, discovers that one of his missiles has been commandeered by a Venusian who is using it to arrive on Earth. Furthermore, Nelson's buddy Dr. Tom Anderson (Lee Van Cleef), is in direct contact with the alien. While Anderson insists that the creature has only benevolent purposes, the alien's first action is to suppress all energy so that no machines work. Then it sends out beasties that resemble small flying manta rays that attach themselves to humans and turn them into mind slaves. Anderson doesn't seem to care that this makes people as emotionless as the Venusian visitor, but his wife (Beverly Garland) certainly does. With a good script and dialogue by Lou Rusoff, It Conquered the World is absurd but zesty sci fi/horror, with an amusingly hideous monster created by Paul Blaisdell. It shares some ideas with Invasion of the Body Snatchers, a better film which was released the same year. Corman briefly used a similar type of flying creature in Not of This Earth the following year. Dick Miller and Jonathan Haze have small roles as soldiers. Graves and Sally Fraser are acceptable as Nelson and his wife; Van Cleef is fine as Anderson; and the ever-reliable Beverly Garland pretty much steals the show with her dynamic performance as Anderson's desperate and angry spouse. Nice score from Ronald Stein. This was remade -- badly -- as Zontar, The Thing from Venus.

Verdict: One of Corman's liveliest and most "fantastic" films. ***.

WAR OF THE SATELLITES

WAR OF THE SATELLITES (1958). Director: Roger Corman.

As the head of a space project, Dr. Van Ponder (Richard Devon) and his associates Dave Boyer (Dick Miller) and Sybil Carrington (Susan Cabot) try to figure out what's destroying their rockets. Earth receives a message from aliens declaring that they are responsible and won't allow earthlings to "infect" the universe. Dr. Van Ponder is replaced by one of the aliens, who can split himself into two duplicate beings. Boyer decides that Earth can't be bullied into giving up its space program and therefore a new satellite, with most of the principles aboard, is launched ... Despite a couple of intriguing ideas, this dull script clearly did not inspire Corman to deliver one of his better directorial jobs, as the film hasn't got a single scintilla of flair or interest. The actors are all wasted as well. The production values are often laughable.

Verdict: Possibly Corman's most boring and forgettable movie. *.

A BUCKET OF BLOOD

A BUCKET OF BLOOD (1959). Director: Roger Corman. 

 Walter Paisley (Dick Miller) is a weird if likable little busboy in theYellow Door cafe who tries to take up sculpting. When he accidentally kills his landlady's cat, he covers it in clay and offers it up as his first work of art -- and garners praise. Before long he's turning up with full-size sculptures of people -- unfortunately deceased. This House of Wax variation is very similar to Corman's The Little Shop of Horrors, which he made a year later, except that Paisley definitely becomes a murderer whereas Seymour of Little Shop does not. The title refers to the gruesome scene when Walter hides the dead body of a cop (Burt Convy) up near the ceiling and his blood drips into a bucket [a buzz saw scene is even more gruesome]. This film offered a rare starring role for both Dick Miller and Barboura Morris [of The Wasp Woman and Sorority Girl] and both come through with flying colors. Jhean Burton also scores as hefty Naolia, as does Judy Bamber as bitchy Alice. Ed Nelson is also in the cast and the landlady is played by Myrtle Vail, who played Seymour's mother in Little Shop. Fred Katz' jazzy musical score adds to the film's strangeness. The finale is a little flat but the picture is an effective black comedy. 

Verdict: Don't kick this bucket. ***.

X

X (aka X, The Man with X-Ray Eyes/1963). Director: Roger Corman.

Dr. James Xavier (Ray Milland) is obsessed with developing a formula that will enable doctors to immediately diagnose a patient without x-rays, as their own eyes will be able to see through a person's skin and examine bone, tissue and organs [apparently a kind of "x ray vision" that doesn't contain any actual dangerous x-rays; the film is vague on this point]. Xavier puts the droplets in his eyes, then learns that his experiments will no longer be funded. He is able to see through people's clothing, and then their skin, but is frustrated by the lack of money to continue his work.The movie then veers in a different direction with a fatal accident, Xavier on the run, and his various misadventures leading to tragedy. The movie has a good enough premise but it isn't well-developed. The film seems disjointed, poorly edited, and Corman's usual adroit direction is mediocre. We're asked to believe that Xavier can sit playing 21 in a Las Vegas casino wearing huge black goggles and no one wonders what's up with that until he tries to leave with the cash. A scene when a character falls out of a window is comically under-written and under-played. Milland's performance is not bad at all, and his supporting players -- Diane Van der Vlis, Howard J. Stone, and John Hoyt as other doctors, and Don Rickles as a sideshow promoter -- are fine. Morris Ankrum, Barboura Morris, and Dick Miller appear in smaller roles. Les Baxter's score is nothing special.

Verdict: There are good things in the movie, but it just doesn't quite jell. **1/2.

THE LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS

THE LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (1960). Director: Roger Corman. 

"What do you call that salad?" 

"Cesarean." 

Seymour Krelboin (Jonathan Haze) finds an unusual plant and brings it to his employer, Gravis Mushnick (Mel Welles), who owns a flower shop in Skid Row. The plant attracts many new customers, but when it begins to wilt Seymour discovers that the only thing that will keep it alive and healthy is human blood. Guess what happens ... Written by Charles B. Griffith of Attack of the Crab Monsters fame, this is inventive, amusing, and grotesque in equal measure. Haze and Welles are wonderful, as are the quirky Jackie Joseph as co-worker Audrey [for whom the plant is named], Myrtle Vail as Seymour's mother, Leola Wendoff as Mrs. Shiva, who loses relatives with alarming frequency, and Dick Miller as a customer who eats flowers for his health. In smaller roles are Jack Nicholson as masochistic dental patient Wilbur Force, John Shaner as the dentist, and Lynn Storey as Mrs. Hortense Feuchtwanger of the flower society, all of whom are marvelous. A great cast, a funny (if tasteless) script, speedy direction, and those human heads inside the flower buds -- what more could you ask for? 

Verdict: A classic of bad taste. ***.

SORORITY GIRL

SORORITY GIRL (1957). Director: Roger Corman.

"You were a brat the day you were born. It was in your eyes."

Co-ed Sabra Tanner (Susan Cabot) is a poor, misunderstood rich girl, essentially ignored by her mother (Fay Baker), who acts out in evil ways because she doesn't know what else to do. Her manipulations nearly lead to tragedy. This is a surprisingly entertaining low-budget"bad girl" movie that works not just because of a workable, if minor-league script, but good acting and Corman's brisk and adept direction. Although thirty years old at the time, Susan Cabot is excellent in the lead. She has a great scene with her mother [Fay Baker is as good in this as she was playing Bette Davis' parasitic sister in The Star; she was actually only ten years older than Cabot]. Learning that her mother is cutting off her allowance, Cabot pauses and gives a consummate, barely controlled, ever-so-patient rendering of "I Hate You!" There's also a lively scene when Sabra takes a paddle to the fanny of her moping dog and slave, Ellie (Barbara Crane), who seems to have a crush on her, not to mention the brief if zesty cat fight between Sabra and the much bigger Rita (Barboura Morris). June Kenney of Earth vs. the Spider has a role as a pregnant waitress that Sabra importunes to blackmail bar owner Mort (Dick Miller), who is not the father. Miller is as good as ever. Ronald Stein's score has a rich sound to it. Cabot was a fine actress who deserved a bigger career. Sadly her last film was The Wasp Woman; ten years later she had one TV credit. Corman may have given a lot of actors their start in show business, but appearing in his films didn't do most of them much good, Jack Nicholson notwithstanding. Barbara Crane had only one other credit.

Verdict: Swell melodrama. ***.

NOT OF THIS EARTH (1957)

NOT OF THIS EARTH (1957). Director: Roger Corman. Screenplay by Charles B. Griffith and Mark Hanna. 

The inhabitants of the planet Davanna are dying from a blood disease due to nuclear war so an emissary is sent to Earth to see if human blood will be suitable for inter-species transfusions. Paul Birch is perfect as the emissary who calls himself Paul Johnson, even affecting a kind of otherworldly accent as if English is not his natural language. Beverly Garland is also top-notch as a nurse who comes to work for Johnson when he offers her an unusually high salary. Jonathan Haze of Little Shop of Horrors is Johnson's human assistant. Johnson walks around in dark shades with a suitcase in which he puts a person's blood after he has removed it all. He also has hypnotic powers and a cosmic death stare. The movie is at times a black comedy -- funny Dick Miller of Bucket of Blood is one of the victims -- but it's also creepy and disturbing, particularly the scene when one poor guy is sent through a teleporter to be dissected but winds up crushed instead [off-screen]. A flying bat-like monster that attacks and kills one cast member is not that convincing but it's still shuddery in spite of it. Exciting climax. Hanna also scripted Amazing Colossal Man and Attack of the 50 Foot Woman. Griffith scripted Attack of the Crab Monsters. 

Verdict: Effective B movie with many nice moments and good acting. ***.