LITTLE SISTER: MY INVESTIGATION INTO THE MYSTERIOUS DEATH OF NATALIE WOOD

LITTLE SISTER: My Investigation into the Mysterious Death of NATALIE WOOD. Lana Wood (with Lindsay Harrison). HarperCollins; 2021. 

I admit I didn't expect much from this book, but it is so skillfully put together by co-author Lindsay Harrison, so well-paced and constructed, that it actually makes for a very compelling read. Of course the animosity between Natalie Wood's younger sister and her widower, Robert Wagner, is no secret, so one has to take some of this with a grain of salt.  Lana Wood also doesn't seem to realize how people's behavior can be affected by copious amounts of alcohol. Still there's never been any proof that Natalie, say, surprised her husband and shipmate Christopher Walken having sex and took off in a dinghy in distress -- one of the theories -- and indeed the evidence seems to clearly point in another direction. If we are to believe reports and comments made by the two detectives (as filtered through Lana) who were assigned to Natalie Wood's death after the case was finally reopened, the original investigation was severely botched, either by incompetence or a star-struck attitude toward Robert Wagner, still a TV fixture at the time; and pathologist-to-the-stars Thomas Noguchi made serious errors as well. Clearly something bad happened on that ship and Wagner knows a lot more than he's telling. His account of that evening [Pieces of My Heart] simply doesn't match the facts, but so many years have gone by that he can only be considered a "person of interest" and not a "suspect." Well, judge for yourself. 

Lana and Natalie Wood

Little Sister is interesting for other reasons, as it looks at a highly dysfunctional Hollywood family with a rather odious stage mother, one sister who hit the heights of stardom, while the other struggled, dealing with financial issues and her own daughter's addiction and tragic death. There are juicy if disheartening stories, such as how (according to Lana Wood) Kirk Douglas essentially raped Natalie when she was only fifteen. Lana repeats the story of Natalie divorcing Wagner (she later remarried him) because she found him in a "compromising position" with his butler! (One suspects that Lana was the source for this in other bios of Natalie and this may be why Wagner pretty much hates her.) Lana also claims that a powerful agent told her that Wagner had had her blackballed throughout Hollywood -- surely he didn't have such clout!? While nowhere near as successful as her older sister, Lana Wood amassed quite a few credits, including making an impression as Plenty O'Toole in Diamonds are Forever and appearing in other movies such as The Girls on the Beach. 

Verdict: Worthwhile, well-written, and absorbing memoir. ***.

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1971). Director: Guy Hamilton.

"Making mud pies, double oh seven?" -- Blofeld.

Although it is generally considered that Roger Moore's Bond films -- with a couple of exceptions -- were the most absurd and cartoonish of the series, it was clear that Diamonds are Forever was already a step in that direction. George Lazenby wasn't interested in playing Bond again after On Her Majesty's Secret Service -- possibly a bad career choice -- so Sean Connery was again drafted to do duty as 007. Bond takes the place of a man involved in a stolen diamond pipeline, a scheme that takes him to Las Vegas where Ernst Stavos Blofeld (Charles Gray of The Devil Rides Out) has taken the place of a Howard Hughes-type, Willard White (Jimmy Dean), and where the master villain has yet another diabolical plan that Bond must demolish before the end. Connery is quite good as Bond, Jill St. John [The Lost World] makes an impression as jewel thief Tiffany Case (as does Lana Wood as "Plenty"), and Gray is excellent as the sinister, smirking Blofeld. In Ian Fleming's novel there are two homosexual hit men, but they are not the caricatures of the movie, with Bruce Glover as Wint being even more offensive than Putter Smith as Kidd. The sixties sensibility also includes the two female bodyguards Bambi (Lola Larsen) and Thumper (Trina Parks), who are like a condescending nod to women's lib, but who are dispatched by Bond fairly easily. Leonard Barr is fun as the deadpan comic "Shady Tree." Despite its many flaws, Diamonds Are Forever is very entertaining and colorful, with at least one excellent fight scene in an elevator, a nice bit in a crematorium, and an interesting interlude in a scientific laboratory and an underground desert pipeline, not to mention Bond scaling skyscrapers and the like.

Verdict: Lots of mindless fun.***

THE GIRLS ON THE BEACH

THE GIRLS ON THE BEACH (1965). Director: William Witney.

"I saw them on Ed Sullivan. Lovely boys -- but they could certainly use a haircut."

It turns out that the treasury of the Alpha Beta sorority is depleted, and a big mortgage payment is due. How can the girls raise the money to save their house? Some of the young women enter a cooking contest; Patricia (Lori Saunders) enters a beauty/talent competition; Arlene ((Anna Capri) gets nerdy, bright Stu (Peter Brooks) to help her with puzzles that pay; and Selma (Noreen Corcoran) and her pals get completely hoodwinked by three horny guys who promise them that they personally know the Beatles; the fab four will raise the money they need by singing at a show. Yeah, right. The Beatles, of course, never appear in this movie, but we do get the Beach Boys and Lesley Gore, who sings "It's Gotta Be You" and "Loser in Love" in the movie's most memorable sequences. Martin West plays Duke, the leader of the trio who "know" the Beatles, and Aron Kincaid and Steven Rogers are his pals; the funniest scene has them trying to duck out of the sorority house by dressing in drag. Sheila Bromley plays Mrs. Winters, the house mother who's given away all of their money; Arnold Lessing is Patricia's disapproving, hypocritical boyfriend, Frank; and there are cameos by Bruno VeSota [The Cat Burglar] and the ever-lovable Dick Miller [A Bucket of Blood] . Lana Wood appears as Bonnie. The gals try to imitate the Beatles with dismal results. William Witney directed a lot of lively cliffhanger serials such as The Crimson Ghost.

Verdict: Utterly amiable junk. **1/2.

PIECES OF MY HEART: ROBERT WAGNER

PIECES OF MY HEART: A LIFE. Robert J. Wagner with Scott Eyman. 2008; HarperCollins.

Robert Wagner appeared in a number of high-profile movies, such as A Kiss Before Dying, before becoming even more successful as a TV star in middle-age, with such programs as It Takes a Thief, Switch, and Hart to Hart. Wagner -- via Scott Eyman -- writes about his early life and his lousy relationship with his father, his desire to be nothing but a movie star from his youngest days, his marriages to Natalie Wood and Jill St. John, and the tragic night that Natalie drowned. There are some surprises in the book, such as (a very few) details about his four-year affair with the older Barbara Stanwyck, which may have been highly exaggerated. Wagner has a sense of humor, but comes off as a rather superficial third-tier celebrity bashing a few enemies -- such as Natalie's less successful sister, Lana, whom he skewers, and co-star Stefanie Powers, whom he felt betrayed him  -- and justifying some of his bad actions as well. Wagner outs numerous people as gay or bisexual, but remains mum on the rumors surrounding his own sexuality. Although Wagner has pleasant things to say about some gay men he knew, he's not above the occasional stereotypical whack; he comes off as an old-fashioned guy trying to affect a liberal posture. If the book has any value, it is as an insider's look at old Hollywood, the dying (and now dead) studio system, and some of the characters who inhabited that long-ago world, about which much has already been written. The book is entertaining enough but overlong.

Verdict: Hardly essential reading, but Wagner's fans may eat it up. **1/2.