COME BACK TO THE 5 AND DIME, JIMMY DEAN, JIMMY DEAN

Cher

COME BACK TO THE 5 AND DIME, JIMMY DEAN, JIMMY DEAN (1982). Director: Robert Altman.

In a small town in Texas twenty years have gone by since the last meeting of a James Dean fan club in 1955, the year of Dean's death. Incredibly, several of these "disciples" come back to the Woolworth "5 and Dime" store, where the members used to congregate, for a 20th anniversary reunion. Two of the members -- big-boobed Sissy (Cher) and decidedly weird Mona (Sandy Dennis), who supposedly has a son fathered by Dean -- never left town and still work for Juanita (Sudie Bond) at the store. Then there's big brassy Stella Mae (Kathy Bates of Misery), sweetly naive Edna Louise (Marta Heflin), and a newcomer, Joanne (Karen Black), who knows everyone and claims she was once a member of the group -- but no one remembers her. As the day progresses, the ladies share revelations and bear their souls.

Kathy Bates with Karen Black in the background

Originally presented on stage with (mostly) the same cast, and with Altman as director, the play had its fans -- primarily due to the presence of Cher and perhaps its camp/transgender factor -- but was not a big hit with the critics, finding it awfully contrived and sitcom-like, which it is. As with the stage production, Altman decided to use the same actors playing themselves twenty years earlier in sometimes poorly delineated flashbacks, and it not only doesn't work but just confuses the viewer. The frequent jumps in time eventually become tiresome. But while the play and movie, both written by Ed Graczyk, have some interesting elements to them, the story ultimately comes off more like a stunt than serious theater. The film never quite makes up its mind if it's a drama or a black comedy. The dialogue doesn't come naturally from the situations, but seems forced just so each character can have her big moment

Settling scores: Karen Black

Then there's the acting, which is frequently over-rehearsed (understandably) and over-emphatic. Cher was originally supposed to play a transsexual character, but decided she'd rather play Sissy (ironic that her daughter became a trans man years later). She is okay, but it's not much of a stretch from what she used to do in sketches on The Sonny and Cher Show. Sandy Dennis is somewhat good as that ultimate loser, Mona, but she's a positive riot of pauses, tics, nervousness, and grotesque facial expressions. Mona manages to get over her own mortification rather quickly. Karen Black [Invaders from Mars] comes off the best as Joanne, who has come to town to settle a few scores, and she has quite a few bravura moments. Kathy Bates is also quite good, as are Sudie Bond, Marta Helfin and Mark Patton [A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge] as Joe, the one male member of the Disciples, whose character manages to run virtually the entire LGBT gamut before the play is over.

I believe the play is meant to be liberal and kind-hearted, and it can be appreciated on that level, but I think some of the same elements could have been reworked into something with a stronger premise and more interesting situations and characters.

Verdict: It is not true that a remake with Caitlyn Jenner is now in pre-production. **1/2. 

BURLESQUE

BURLESQUE (2010). Writer/director: Steve Antin.

"How many times have I held your head over the toilet bowl while you threw up everything but your memories?"

Small town waitress Ali (Christina Aguilera), with the usual show biz dreams, makes her way to L.A. and discovers a club called Burlesque run by Tess (Cher), a world-weary long-time performer. Tess can't pay her bills, and her ex (Peter Gallagher) wants her to sell out to the smarmy developer, Marcus (Eric Dane). Meanwhile Ali is befriended by Jack (Cam Gigaridet), a bartender at the club who helps her get a job there, even as she earns the enmity of jealous Nikki (Kristen Bell), a top-billed performer on the skids. Ali stops waitressing at Burlesque once Tess hears how well she can sing, and she begins a affair with Jack who already has a fiancee -- and, frankly, who the hell cares? Initially colorful and entertaining, Burlesque is so utterly superficial, the characters so one-dimensional, that after awhile it just becomes boring -- a long rock video we've all seen before. Cher sings two dynamic numbers, the title tune and "The Last of Me," while Aguilera, a solid professional, also struts her considerable stuff in more than one number. The eternally un-aging 65-year-old Cher looks fine and acts well, but had she and the film acknowledged her senior citizen status [not that that means she can't look sexy] it might have made for a movie with a little more substance. The other actors, including reliable Stanley Tucci as the club's gay manager, are all fine. When all is said and done, this is really Aguilera's movie, with Cher in a supporting role.

Verdict: Burlesque leaves no show business cliche unturned. **.