THE SLASHER MOVIE BOOK

THE SLASHER MOVIE BOOK. J. A. Kerswell. Chicago Review Press; 2010.

This thick, heavily illustrated trade paperback looks at the slasher film genre: Friday the 13th, Freddy Krueger, Halloween, Jamie Lee Curtis, and so on. There are chapters on pre-Psycho horror movies; Italian giallo films; German-made multiple murder films based on novels by Edgar Wallace; British and American Gothic films; "The Golden Age of the Slasher" from 1978 to 1984; and slasher films from other countries in the eighties, nineties, and afterward. In addition to notes on the usual suspects, I came across quite a few movies I had never seen or heard of before. I didn't agree with everything in the book, of course. For instance, Kerswell writes of Psycho: "Equating transvestism with mental illness seems to date the film," but the sequence with the psychiatrist at the end goes to pains to make it clear that Norman Bates was not a true transvestite. But The Slasher Movie Book is more concerned with the later slasher outcrop than anything else, and does as good a job as anyone of knowledgeably surveying the scene. The book is chock-full of movie stills and posters.

Verdict: If you dig this sub-genre, the book is engaging and interesting, if a little gross,  to look at. ***.

THE HORROR OF IT ALL

THE HORROR OF IT ALL: One Moviegoer's Love Affair with Masked Maniacs, Frightened Virgins, and the Living Dead. Adam Rockoff. Scribner; 2015.

As a horror enthusiast and author in the field (fiction and non-fiction) I was intrigued by The Horror of It All. [Rockoff also wrote Going to Pieces, on slasher films.] I admit that I'm not quite certain what to make of this tome, as instead of a survey of All Things Horror it functions more as one man's memoir while discussing horror/slasher movies [mostly if not exclusively splatter films] and ruminating on everything from teachers he hated to political issues such as the death penalty to what he thinks of French people. I thought Rockoff was quite a good writer when he did Going to Pieces, and I appreciate the often tongue-in-cheek tone of Horror as he destroys some sacred cows, discusses the shortcomings (to put it mildly) of horror fandom, and dissects some movies he feels are over-rated. [I can't understand what he sees in the mostly dull Paranormal Activity, which could have used an ax murder or two.] Of course, there's a difference between a horror enthusiast and a horror geek and I don't mean it unkindly when I say that Rockoff appears to be the latter. Sometimes there is an adolescent approach to the material, with him settling old scores from years ago, and reminding the reader how he is heterosexual at least once in every chapter. But Rockoff does have some interesting things to say about horror films (if he likes horror fiction, such as Poe, Lovecraft or even King he never says so) and the book, despite some plodding sections, is a breezy read.

Verdict: For geeks, gore-hounds, and fringe horror fans who didn't get laid in high school. **1/2.

MOTHER OF TEARS

MOTHER OF TEARS (aka La terza madre/2007). Director: Dario Argento.

"The city is 2700 years old, and we are standing on five layers of graves."

There was twenty-seven years between Inferno, the second of Argento's Three Mothers trilogy, and the third and final installment, Mother of Tears -- it wasn't worth the wait. The problem begins when certain artifacts are removed from a chest that is consistently referred to as an "urn" and immediately weird things begin happening. Sarah Mandy (Asia Argento), the daughter of a woman killed by another witch in Suspiria (the first part), discovers that her mother's spirit (Daria Nicolodi) is protecting her when the Mother of Tears reawakens and throws all Rome into chaos -- witches from all over the world are descending upon the city and there are many more murders and suicides. Some of these witches seem like "mean girls" with attitude, while the head mother, supposedly the embodiment of evil, looks like a sleazy hostess in a topless bar. Mother of Tears could have been a great and exciting horror film, but instead it's an often silly and mindless gorefest for the "gore geeks" in the audience. Some of Argento's better movies are less offensive because there's an intriguing storyline and some inventive directorial touches to go along with the graphic mayhem, but that isn't the case with Mother. Some of the gore is so over the top that it becomes almost comically unrealistic. We have the woman strangled with her own intestines, and in a mind-numbingly offensive and sick scene a gay woman has a metal rod thrust into her vagina and out of her mouth. Again, because of the lack of other positive attributes, Argento's sickening violence against women appears positively misogynous [although, to be fair, there are male victims as well]. There are a couple of interesting scenes: people pursuing Sarah can't see her due to her mother's spell; and those too-clean-but-creepy catacombs that are the lair of the bitchy witches. The Omen-like musical score only reminds one that the three Omen movies made up a much slicker and more memorable trilogy. It's as if Argento, desperate to expand a youthful audience, decided to concentrate on grisliness and to hell with the script. The performances of the leads -- Argento's daughter Asia, and Adam James as her boyfriend, Michael -- border on the amateurish, although Ms. Argento has her moments.

Verdict: Sad actually. *1/2.

THE OMEN (1976)

THE OMEN (1976). Director: Richard Donner.

"She is an apostate of Hell -- she will die before permitting this."

Undoubtedly influenced by The Exorcist, which came out three years earlier, this movie was almost as influential in its own way, and also engendered several sequels and even a remake -- and is just as sub-literate [but somewhat better than The Exorcist]. An even bigger influence on the film must have been Rosemary's Baby (1968). Ambassador Robert Thorn (Gregory Peck)  is told that his baby son has died, and is importuned into accepting another child [who supposedly lost his mother in childbirth] without telling his wife, Katherine (Lee Remick), who fails to bond with the boy, Damian (Harvey Stephens). It turns out that Damian is actually the anti-Christ [Rosemary's Baby as a child?]: Satanists, in the form of nanny Mrs. Baylock (Billie Whitelaw), want to protect and nurture him, while certain Catholic priests want to murder him -- a mere child! [DIGRESSION: It never occurs to anyone that there is a possibility that being raised by normal, decent people the boy might grow up to be something other than a devil. But the real problem with the movie is that it doesn't give the audience any breathing room. Damian is the devil's son -- and that's that. How much more interesting the film might have been if the Satanists and priests were all a little nuts. In fact, the priests in this movie seem quite demented.] All that being said, it must also be said that The Omen -- on its own anti-intellectual terms -- is a rather accomplished little horror film, with some interesting sequences and set-pieces -- an eerie scene in a graveyard; some flamboyant, well-handled and gruesome death scenes --  and assured direction from Donner. The acting is also generally excellent, with an intense and authoritative Peck possibly giving the best performance of his life, his sheer solidity helping the audience go along with the absurdity of the proceedings. Lee Remick, David Warner [as a doomed photographer], and little Harvey Stephens are also excellent, and Billie Whitelaw is just superb as the nanny quite literally from Hell. Jerry Goldsmith's memorably creepy score holds all of it together splendidly.

Verdict: If you don't take it seriously this is really quite entertaining. ***.

PIRANHA (2010)

PIRANHA (aka Piranha 3D/2010). Director: Alexandre Aja.

An undersea quake unleashes a horde of hungry prehistoric piranha who proceed to snack on and cause carnage among young people on spring break. Don't be fooled into thinking this remake of the 1970's Piranha is a horror film or monster movie as it's really directed at the kinds of people who seek out snuff films, true-life accident footage, and documentaries like Faces of Death [even if the film's gore isn't real]. You'd expect a movie about carnivorous fish attacking people to have some creative bloodiness and shock effects, but Piranha goes so over the top that it's simply too graphic and stomach-churning to be fun or remotely entertaining. It's not merely a mindless "frat boy" movie made for and by morons, but a monster movie filtered through a Columbine sensibility. While men are killed off in the film, the most excruciatingly horrible deaths are reserved for women, giving the film a misogynous tone that critics, even female ones, didn't seem to pick up on. Why an Oscar-nominee like Elisabeth Shue is starring in crap like this is anybody's guess, but she'd be better off doing a TV series [which co-star Jerry O'Connell did] than make movies like this. [What's next? Starring in the sequel for the Syfy channel?] The acting isn't bad, and the monsters are very well-designed, but director Aja [who should probably be known as Alexandre A--wipe] should have spent more time crafting suspense scenes and less on the vomitous, "lovingly"-detailed carnage [To be fair, the climax is somewhat suspenseful, but Aja is no Hitchcock]. Christopher Lloyd and Richard Dreyfuss of Jaws fame are also in this mess.

Some critics were soft on this movie because they were afraid of seeming un-hip, but come on -- movies like Piranha aren't hip -- they're beloved only by disaffected, misanthropic geeks who chuckle over a young lady getting pulled into an outboard motor out of their own self-hatred! Years ago movies like this were barely released for midnight showings by very minor production companies but Piranha was released by Dimension films -- in 3D no less -- with a massive advertising campaign. And this is progress? As one intelligent critic put it, Piranha doesn't seem to have been made for anyone -- human, that is.

Verdict: Atrocious and ugly beyond belief. 0 stars.

DAYBREAKERS

DAYBREAKERS (2009). Written and directed by Michael and Peter Spierig.

Taking its cue from such films as The Last Man on Earth, Omega Men [a remake of the first film], comics like Planet of the Vampires and so on, Daybreakers presents an Earth in which a plague of vampirism has erupted through the world and only 5% of the population are human. Although humans are captured and harvested for their blood, there is still a severe shortage, resulting in violent outbreaks by "subsiders," the name for vampires who attack other vampires and drink non-human blood. Edward Dalton (Ethan Hawke) is a vampire with a social conscience who is trying to come up with a substitute for blood so that the human race he once belonged to won't become extinct. His boss, Bromley (Sam Neill) believes that even if he invents a substitute there will always be vampires who want and can afford the real thing. Dalton's brother Frankie (Michael Dorman) is a hunter who captures humans and the very one who turned his brother into a vampire. Edward hooks up with a band of humans fighting to hold on to their humanity, which include Audrey (Claudia Karvan) and "Elvis" (Willem Dafoe) who's discovered the way to turn a vampire back into a human.

Daybreakers is one of the more intriguing treatments of vampirism. The film has real suspense and is directed with flair and assurance. Hawke, Dafoe, Neill and the others turn in fine performances that help you stay absorbed in what's happening on the screen. There are some powerful moments such as when a bunch of deteriorating "subsiders," including Bromley's daughter Allison (Isabel Lucas), are forced into the sun where they burst into flames and become ashes. Since the film is not afraid to have "humanistic" moments, it seems a shame that its intelligence is blunted by obligatory, over-familiar and dumbed-down moments of extreme gore meant to please the Fangoria crowd but which aren't really necessary in a film of real quality. They prevent Daybreakers from being the outstanding horror drama that for much of its length it is.

Verdict: Comes close to being a very memorable horror film. ***.

SUPERSTITION

SUPERSTITION (1982). Director: James W. Roberson.

A priest (James Houghton) becomes involved with a haunted house where a witch in the guise of a little girl is murdering off anyone who dares to come into the place. There's lots of action in the picture, but most of it is to little effect. There are, however, some modestly creative gore scenes. We've got the head-in-the-microwave business [see photo], and a very inventive business when a flying saw bloodily spritzes its way through the body of another priest. Despite all the gruesomeness, the movie is kind of boring. Houghton isn't much of an actor, although this led into a brief role on Knot's Landing. Albert Salmi is more on the mark as the police inspector on the case.

Verdict: Be careful what you put in the microwave. **.

BLOOD FREAK

BLOOD FREAK (1972). Directed and written by Steve Hawkes and Brad F. Grinter. 

"He's not Hershell anymore -- he's changing!" 

Hershell (Steve Hawkes, who also co-wrote and co-directed), an Elvis wannabee with a curled lip, eats some contaminated turkey meat and turns into -- you guessed it -- a homicidal monster with a turkey head. Judging from the acting and production values, this looks like it was put together by a very low-budget porn unit. Mentally arrested gorehounds may enjoy the grisly and graphic scene when Hershell cuts off a man's leg with a buzz saw. A narrator talks pretentiously about what's going on and keeps looking down at the script while smoking and choking on a cigarette. There are some attractive cast members but this isn't funny enough to be a parody and not entertaining enough to be anything else. This is the worst movie reviewed on Great Old Movies so far. Admittedly TCM can sometimes be accused of running the same movies over and over and over again, but surely there's better stuff out there than this! IFC would have been more a more appropriate venue. 

Verdict: A literal turkey. 0 stars.