THE WAYWARD BUS

Jayne Mansfield, Delores Michaels, Rick Jason

THE WAYWARD BUS (1957). Director: Victor Vicas. 

Johnny Chicoy (Rick Jason of This is My Love) drives his bus on a route across the border into San Juan while his wife, Alice (Joan Collins of Land of the Pharaohs), runs the truck stop diner where the passengers embark. Both are afraid that they are not truly loved by their spouse. As Johnny walks out in anger, he gets involved with some of the passengers, who include the dyspeptic Van Brunt (Will Wright); Mr. and Mrs. Pritchard (Larry Keating and Kathryn Givney); their daughter Mildred (Delores Michaels), who has a yen for Johnny; travelling salesman Ernest Horton (Dan Dailey); and erotic entertainer Camille Oaks (Jayne Mansfield), who dodges passes from both Horton and Pritchard but winds up falling for the former. Not only is there the question of whether or not the passengers' assorted issues can be resolved, but if they'll even survive the trip when very dangerous weather conditions threaten their very lives. 

Rick Jason and Joan Collins

The Wayward Bus, taken from a John Steinbeck novel, is an unusual, imperfect, but ultimately worthwhile picture. With his handsome, masculine features and decided acting ability -- he gives a very strong performance in this -- Rick Jason should have become a major star, but the film was not a big hit. Almost completely deglamorized for this role of a drab housewife and cook, Joan Collins is less miscast than you might imagine and is effective. The romance between Dailey and Mansfield is never convincing, although Dailey is winning and Mansfield is at least competent, but there are dozens of actresses, Monroe included, who would have been stronger. Delores Michaels is lovely in the movie -- making much more of an impression than Mansfield -- but she only had a few credits after this. In addition to the actors already named, we have nice performances from Betty Lou Keim, as Norma the counter girl, and (Mr.) Dee Pollock as Kit, the teenager who assists Johnny and Alice; he had a long career. Robert Bray makes an impression as Morse, who has a hankering for Alice. 

In addition to some very good acting, The Wayward Bus has other plusses, such as the widescreen cinematography by Charles G. Clarke and a fine, evocative and highly interesting musical score by Leigh Harline. There is also a splendid action sequence when the bus must travel over a very, very long and crumbling wooden bridge directly over rushing rapids  -- this sequence is a nail-biter. The film was undoubtedly made just to take advantage of the publicity for the earlier Bus Stop, which starred Monroe, also featured bus trips and truck stops, and even had Robert Bray in the cast. 

Verdict: Memorable "lost" film with some very good performances. ***. 

THE JAYNE MANSFIELD STORY

Loni Anderson

THE JAYNE MANSFIELD STORY (1980 telefilm). Director: Dick Lowry. 

Jayne Mansfield (Loni Anderson), a newly-divorced mom with a young daughter, tries to take Hollywood by storm and succeeds -- for a time. Jayne appears on Broadway in Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter? and is lucky enough to get cast in the film adaptation. Overdoing the publicity bit while waiting for future assignments from her studio, 20th Century-Fox, she discovers that few people take her seriously, except perhaps her new husband, Mickey Hargitay (Arnold Schwarzenegger). Becoming one of those celebrities who would "go to the opening of an envelope," her career rapidly goes on the downslide, doing nude scenes in cheap Grade D movies and club acts in dives.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Loni Anderson

Although one might wonder if the story of a minor show business casualty is even worth the telling, this telepic succeeds because of some very good performances. Although she overdoes the squealing a bit, Loni Anderson probably gives a better performance than the real Mansfield ever did, turning the actress from a kewpie doll into a pathetic figure who garners some sympathy. (While there may be people far more deserving of our pity, self-absorbed actors who are desperate to stay relevant and employed do suffer in their own way, as evidenced by Mansfield's excessive drinking.) Arnold Schwarzenegger gives a surprisingly appealing and sensitive -- if such a term can be used in conjunction with the body builder -- performance, and Ray Buktenica and Kathleen Lloyd score as, respectively, Mansfield's agent and her friend and companion. G. D. Spradlin also makes an impression as Mansfield's liaison at the studio. 

Verdict:  Possibly more than the poor Mansfield deserves. ***. 

THE LOVES OF HERCULES

Jayne Mansfield

THE LOVES OF HERCULES (aka Hercules vs. the Hydra/aka Gli amori di Ercole/1960). Director: Carlo Ludovico Bragaglia.

Hercules (Mickey Hargitay of Bloody Pit of Horror) learns that his wife and child were murdered by the King of Ecalia. What he doesn't know is that the actual murderer was Licos (Massimo Serato of The Killer Nun), who goes so far as to murder the king to cover up the crime. Hercules goes to Ecalia to confront the king's daughter, Queen Delanira (Jayne Mansfield of The Burglar), who goes through a strange, violent ceremony to prove she had no part in the death of Hercules' family. For his part, Hercules seems to forget all about his slain wife and falls in love with Delanira in a trice. When the queen's fiance is found murdered, Hercules is blamed and is forced to go on the run, where he encounters the Amazons, whose Queen Hippolyta is fond of turning her lovers into trees and develops a dangerous hankering for the son of Jupiter. Will Hercules and his new beloved Delanira manage to triumph over the evil schemes of both Licos and Hippolyta and finally be reunited?

The three-headed hydra

Hungarian body-builder Hargitay and his wife Mansfield were two years into their six-year marriage (resulting in three chidren, including the very gifted Mariska Hargitay of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit) when they went to Italy to make this "spectacle," which does feature a few impressive settings as well as the out-sized physiques of the briefly-married couple. As their voices are dubbed it's hard to judge their performances, but one can safely say there were no Oscar contenders in the cast, at least not in this production. The film is briefly and minimally enlivened by the appearances of a huge bull that Mickey wrestles to the ground, an 8-foot-tall caveman, and a full-scale Hydra which is like a funhouse prop, but is very well-designed, has three fire-breathing heads, and looks good despite its limited movement. In the second half of the film Hippolyta transforms herself into Delanira, so Mansfield is given a dual role. The men-turned-into-trees business is a macabre touch.

Verdict: Hardly anything spectacular here but more watchable than you might imagine. **1/2. 

THE BURGLAR

Jayne Mansfield and Dan Duryea

THE BURGLAR (1957). Director: Paul Wendkos.

Nat Harbin (Dan Duryea) leads a small gang of criminals, including Gladden (Jayne Mansfield), the girl he was raised with. They steal a very valuable necklace from a old lady spiritualist, Sister Sarah (Phoebe MacKay), who lives in a sprawling mansion. Now the question is whether to sell the necklace at a great loss or wait until the heat is off, a suggestion that does not sit well with Baylock (Peter Capell of The Fury of the Cocoon), who is desperate to get out of the country. None of them are aware that another person is watching them and scheming ...

Martha Vickers and Dan Duryea

The Burglar is an interesting crime melodrama that just misses being special. Duryea gives a solid performance, although Mansfield comes off like an amateur, and one doesn't buy that she "hungers" for Duryea (the only actor billed above the title). Stewart Bradley, who was "introduced" in this picture (he had had previous TV credits but this was his first movie role) makes a definite impression as the cop, Charlie. Martha Vickers (one of Mickey Rooney's ex-wives and who also appeared in The Big Bluff) also makes an impression as Della, a woman who picks up Nat in a bar and has a few secrets of her own. Mickey Shaughnessy  plays Dohmer, another member of the gang who is a little too trigger-happy. The Burglar features interesting settings in Philly and Atlantic City, such as a shack on the lonely coast and a fun house where the climax takes place. Paul Wendkos also directed the excellent Brotherhood of the Bell.

Verdict: Not quite top-drawer but it does hold the attention. **3/4. 

THE GEORGE RAFT STORY

THE GEORGE RAFT STORY (1961). Director: Joseph M. Newman.

Dancer George Raft (Ray Danton) meets gals, entertainers and hoodlums in New York City nightclubs. Then it is suggested that he take off for Los Angeles and try his luck in the movies. He treats women like dirt, punches out people at the slightest provocation, gets a swell head, becomes a has-been, appears in Some Like It Hot as a kind of comeback, and in general acts like a major asshole. Oddly Raft -- who could have sued for defamation of character -- was still alive in 1961, so one supposes he actually liked that image as well as the fact that "Bugsy" or Benny Siegel (Brad Dexter of 99 River Street) was one of his best friends. Danton is an odd choice to play Raft, especially as he's much better looking and arguably much more talented than the real George Raft, who seemed to be a passable dancer and little else. Danton does an okay job of faking the fancy footwork with lots of coaching, but there's no genius there a la Fred Astaire. Jayne Mansfield, of all people, gives a more than credible performance as a fictional character who may or may not be Raft's bosomy wife. Neville Brand [Eaten Alive] is memorable as Al Capone, and Robert H. Harris makes a sympathetic if  exasperated producer, and there are other bits and supporting performances from Julie London as a singer; Margo Moore as a hat check girl; Barrie Chase as the actress, June; Barbara Nichols as a dubbed Texas Guinan; Frank Gorshin as a Raft associate; and Hershel Bernardi as Raft's much-maligned manager. The movie comes to a dead halt during a lengthy performance of a deadly song-and-comedy team. The cliches in the film -- and there are many -- include Raft earnestly complaining that he "can't say these lines!" (-- maybe because he can't act!) No matter what poor Danton played, he always came off as a low-life; he was equally sleazy in Too Much, Too Soon and other films.

Verdict: Poor biopic of someone hardly worth mentioning. **.

THE FAT SPY

Phyllis Diller as Rapunzel/Camille Salamander

THE FAT SPY (1966). Director: Joseph Cates.

"After I saw The Fat Spy I went straight to confession -- and I'm not even Catholic." -- Phyllis Diller

George Wellington (Brian Donlevy), the head of a cosmetics firm, and Camille Salamander (Phyllis Diller) are both hoping to get their hands on a fountain of youth formula and are annoyed that a bunch of singing teenagers have taken up residence on the island where the formula might be found. Or something like that. Rarely have there been such films of stark brilliance, comedic genius, and extreme profundity -- and The Fat Spy is certainly not one of them. The movie is a weird combination of Beach Party-spoof, teen musical, and alleged comedy, although it has only a couple of genuinely amusing sequences. In one of these Camille's boyfriend Herman (Jack E. Leonard) sings a funny number, "You Haven't Changed a Bit" ["a peeping tom pulled down the shade"] to her, and the ending is kind of funny, too. Otherwise ... There are some decent tunes warbled by Johnny Tillotson, Jordan Christopher [who later married Sybil Burton] and the Wild Ones, and even Jayne Mansfield, who sings "I'd Like to Be a Rose in Your Garden, but I'm Just a Thorn in Your Side." Diller isn't bad, Donlevy is an old pro, but Leonard isn't much of an actor yet is given two roles to play. Jayne Mansfield has done better work elsewhere, such as an episode on The Alfred Hitchcock Hour. The film is padded with long sequences of good-looking young people dancing. Cates also directed Who Killed Teddy Bear? and little else of note.

Verdict: Get ready to hit that fast-forward button -- or "stop!": *1/2.

THE GIRL CAN'T HELP IT

THE GIRL CAN'T HELP IT (1956). Director: Frank Tashlin.

"Fats" Murdock (Edmond O'Brien) hires washed-up press agent Tom Miller (Tom Ewell) to turn his sort of girlfriend Jerri Jordan (Jayne Mansfield of the massive mammaries) into a famous singer -- unfortunately the girl can't sing. This basically borrows the plot of Born Yesterday and adds a rock music background [there are song numbers performed by guest artists]. In a rather weird subplot development, Miller is obsessed with the real-life singer Julie London, who broke his heart [and who is heard singing "Cry Me a River."] Henry Jones and Barry Gordon have small roles. Mansfield exhibits an appealing personality if no great acting ability, but she isn't terrible. O'Brien and Ewell seem to be having fun, and the former even sings! Amusing final twist.

Verdict: Good-natured, if minor-league comedy. **1/2.

ILLEGAL

ILLEGAL (1955). Director: Lewis Allen.

When District Attorney Victor Scott (Edward G. Robinson) discovers that he's sent an innocent man to the electric chair, he resigns, drinks, and winds up in a downward spiral that leads to him working with hoodlum Frank Garland (Albert Dekker). There comes a conflict of interest when he defends a former associate and close friend, Ellen Miles (Nina Foch), who is accused of murder and whose defense is tied in with Garland's activities. Hugh Marlowe has one of his more interesting roles as Foch's husband, and Jayne Mansfield, chest out-thrust, plays one of Garland's girlfriends (her performance is mediocre at best). DeForest Kelley of Star Trek fame plays the innocent man who goes to the chair, and Ellen Corby scores as Scott's no-nonsense secretary. Illegal is a snappy if pat movie with a great performance by Robinson -- his drunk scenes are masterful. Jan Merlin makes a striking and sinister gunsel and hit man, Andy Garth, and Nina Foch does a nice job as well.

Verdict: Minor but entertaining. **1/2.