THE VIRGIN QUEEN

THE VIRGIN QUEEN (1955). Director: Henry Koster.

Ambitious Walter Raleigh (Richard Todd) makes his clever way to the court of Queen Elizabeth (Bette Davis) and becomes one of her favorites. All the while he's hoping she'll give him some ships to sail -- seeking treasure from the New World-- and dallying with a pretty lady-in-waiting and ward of the queen, Beth Throgmorton (Joan Collins). Although he is not billed above the title with the others, Herbert Marshall, who co-starred with Davis in The Letter, plays Lord Leicester. This is an interesting and entertaining movie, but the central performance is a bit problematic. Davis has her moments, certainly, but sometimes you get the impression that the queen is not being played by Bette Davis, but by Baby Jane Hudson! A definite problem is that Davis, despite the quasi-British accent she always affected, is not English, and she seems to be giving an impression of a queen rather than simply becoming the part. In a word, she's almost awful at times, but not enough to sink the picture. Todd, Marshall, Collins (who actually out-acts Davis) and the other cast members are all terrific.

Verdict: Hardly Bette's finest hour, but not without interest. ***.

THE GIRL IN THE RED VELVET SWING

Joan Collins as Evelyn Nesbit

THE GIRL IN THE RED VELVET SWING (1955). Director: Richard Fleischer. 

Young model Evelyn Nesbit (Joan Collins) is so attractive that she comes to the attention of many men, including famous New York architect Stanford White (Ray Milland), who is married, and Pittsburgh millionaire Harry Thaw (Farley Granger), who is not. Evelyn and Stanford fall in love but he refuses to leave his wife, and she has little interest in being a kept woman on the side. Stanford's attempts to turn her into a kind of daughter, sending her to finishing school, don't work out, but Evelyn finally marries the abusive and rather obnoxious Harry. Harry is still obsessed with her past relationship with Stanford, and his murderous actions will lead into the real-life "trial of the century."

Collins with Ray Milland

The Girl in the Red Velvet Swing, for which Nesbit herself served as consultant, is a highly entertaining mix of truth, half-truths, fabrications and dramatic license. Although she claimed on the witness stand that she was drugged and raped by Stanford, this film suggests that she was perjuring herself upon the insistence of her mother-in-law. (How old she actually was when she and White had sex is debatable.) Despite situations that would blacken her character back in the day, the film generally treats her in a sympathetic manner; White as well. Collins and Granger give good if imperfect performances, but Milland comes off best. 

Farley Granger with Collins

There are some fine supporting performances in the film. Glenda Farrell, whom I didn't even recognize, as Mrs. Nesbit; Luthor Adler [House of Strangers] as Shaw's lawyer; Gale Robbins [Double Jeopardy] as Gwen Arden, Evelyn's friend and fellow entertainer; Frances Fuller as White's wife, Bessie; Cornelia Otis Skinner as Harry's mother; Richard Travis as Charles Dana Gibson; and others. The film is handsomely produced with a score by Leigh Harline and cinematography by Milton R. Krasner. The movie Ragtime also looks at the Stanford White murder, although in that movie Evelyn Nesbit is not only presented basically as a greedy dingbat but is almost a comic figure. Marilyn Monroe refused to do the film and it would have been interesting to see her take on Evelyn. Richard Fleischer also directed Fantastic Voyage and many others. 

Verdict: If taken with a grain of salt this is a slick, well-acted drama. ***1/4. 

ESTHER AND THE KING

ESTHER AND THE KING (1960). Director: Raoul Walsh.  

King Ahasuerus (Richard Egan of Wicked Woman) of Persia returns home from battle and rewards Simon (Rik Battaglia of Raw Wind in Eden), who saved his life, with a symbolic sword. Simon is engaged to Esther (Joan Collins of Land of the Pharaohs), the beautiful niece of adviser Mordecai (Denis O'Day). The faithless Queen Vashti (Daniela Rocca), the lover of the evil Prince Haman (Sergio Fantoni of Diabolically Yours), is kicked out on her keester while the search is on for a new queen. Wouldn't you know that Esther would be one of the women rounded up by barbaric soldiers, and that the king would find her most comely? Although still in love with Simon, Esther does feel great admiration for the king, and goes along with it when Mordecai tells her what good she can do for her people, the Jews, if she becomes the new queen. But Haman and his ally, the brutal Klydrathes (Renato Baldini), won't take this lying down.  

Richard Egan and Joan Collins

Loosely based on the biblical story (which itself is not really based on historical facts) Esther presents a compelling situation and tangled love story but the execution is only fair-to-middling. Essentially an Italian production filmed in Rome and with an all-Italian cast (aside from the two leads), it has that low-budget look despite some impressive crowd sequences and advancing armies. Although not the best casting in either case, Egan and Collins give good enough performances, although Sergio Fantoni steals the movie with his skillful and sinister turn as the ever-plotting Haman. Handsome Rik Battaglia as Esther's original lover also causes one to wonder which man our sweet Esther will ultimately wind up with. 

Caught between two loves: Collins with Rik Battaglia

Daniela Rocca sizzles a bit as the disloyal queen who tries to win over her husband's favor with a sexy court dance (supposedly done not by Rocca but a dancer), and Rosalba Neri also scores as another one of Haman's lovers, Keresh, who steals a golden cape given to Esther by the eunuch Hegai (Walter Williams) and winds up strangled in Esther's place. Mario Bava, later best-known as a horror filmmaker, did the cinematography, and there is an interesting score by Angelo Francesco Lavagnino and Roberto Nicolosi. 

Verdict: By no means a terrible movie, but you may wish a Ray Harryhausen monster would show up now and then. **1/2. 

THE WAYWARD BUS

Jayne Mansfield, Delores Michaels, Rick Jason

THE WAYWARD BUS (1957). Director: Victor Vicas. 

Johnny Chicoy (Rick Jason of This is My Love) drives his bus on a route across the border into San Juan while his wife, Alice (Joan Collins of Land of the Pharaohs), runs the truck stop diner where the passengers embark. Both are afraid that they are not truly loved by their spouse. As Johnny walks out in anger, he gets involved with some of the passengers, who include the dyspeptic Van Brunt (Will Wright); Mr. and Mrs. Pritchard (Larry Keating and Kathryn Givney); their daughter Mildred (Delores Michaels), who has a yen for Johnny; travelling salesman Ernest Horton (Dan Dailey); and erotic entertainer Camille Oaks (Jayne Mansfield), who dodges passes from both Horton and Pritchard but winds up falling for the former. Not only is there the question of whether or not the passengers' assorted issues can be resolved, but if they'll even survive the trip when very dangerous weather conditions threaten their very lives. 

Rick Jason and Joan Collins

The Wayward Bus, taken from a John Steinbeck novel, is an unusual, imperfect, but ultimately worthwhile picture. With his handsome, masculine features and decided acting ability -- he gives a very strong performance in this -- Rick Jason should have become a major star, but the film was not a big hit. Almost completely deglamorized for this role of a drab housewife and cook, Joan Collins is less miscast than you might imagine and is effective. The romance between Dailey and Mansfield is never convincing, although Dailey is winning and Mansfield is at least competent, but there are dozens of actresses, Monroe included, who would have been stronger. Delores Michaels is lovely in the movie -- making much more of an impression than Mansfield -- but she only had a few credits after this. In addition to the actors already named, we have nice performances from Betty Lou Keim, as Norma the counter girl, and (Mr.) Dee Pollock as Kit, the teenager who assists Johnny and Alice; he had a long career. Robert Bray makes an impression as Morse, who has a hankering for Alice. 

In addition to some very good acting, The Wayward Bus has other plusses, such as the widescreen cinematography by Charles G. Clarke and a fine, evocative and highly interesting musical score by Leigh Harline. There is also a splendid action sequence when the bus must travel over a very, very long and crumbling wooden bridge directly over rushing rapids  -- this sequence is a nail-biter. The film was undoubtedly made just to take advantage of the publicity for the earlier Bus Stop, which starred Monroe, also featured bus trips and truck stops, and even had Robert Bray in the cast. 

Verdict: Memorable "lost" film with some very good performances. ***. 

THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. Season 3

Reta Shaw as a sinister THRUSH agent

THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. Season Three.  1966.

Napoleon Solo (Robert Vaughn) and Illya Kurakin (David McCallum), as well as Mr. Waverly (Leo G. Carroll), are back for a third season of Uncle. Fans of the show generally consider this the worst of the four seasons, as there were times the program began to resemble an out and out comedy a la Get Smart. In spite of this, some of the more absurd episodes were fun. The first two episodes concerned homicidal females: "Her Master's Voice" had the mesmerized staff at a girls' school taking after the agents; and the memorably batty "The Sort of Do-It-Yourself Dreadful Affair" featured killer robots modeled on beautiful women. The entertaining two-part "Concrete Overcoat Affair" was turned into the theatrical feature The Spy with the Green Hat. A silly but zesty episode had the wonderful Reta Shaw [Sanctuary] as a THRUSH operative trying to find a scientist (Victor Borge) with a dangerous formula in his head in "The Suburbia Affair." A ray that could put people into instant suspended animation figured in "Deadly Smorgasbord." "Off-Broadway Affair" starred Shari Lewis in a tale of THRUSH using a theater to gain access to computer info. At least two of the season's episodes were not campy. "Galatea Affair" starred Joan Collins [Tales that Witness Madness] as a woman trained to take the place of a lookalike, a baroness working for you-know-who. "The Candidate's Wife" also featured a double substituted for the wife (Diana Hyland of Jigsaw) of a presidential nominee. Understandably, these were two of the season's best episodes.

Fans generally consider the worst episode to be "The Super Colossal Affair" in which the mob drops a bomb on Los Angeles which turns out to be -- unfortunately for poor Illya -- a ten ton stink bomb! Okay, this is a far cry from what the fans were hoping for, but I have to say this episode is absolutely hilarious, which was generally not true for many of its campy, would-be comical episodes -- yes, "Super Colossal" was not the worst episode of season three. J. Carrol Naish is very funny in this story as well.

Verdict: A comedown from seasons one and two, but still entertaining. **1/2.

LAND OF THE PHARAOHS

The imposing pyramid-tomb

LAND OF THE PHARAOHS (1955). Producer/director: Howard Hawks.

"Strange religion to deny a future to those who failed in the past."

Pharaoh Khufu (Jack Hawkins) has one main goal, and that is to see that his tomb will be completely safe from violation so he can enjoy his treasures in the after-life. Learning that many other tombs have been broken into, Khufu has the slave and architect Vashtar (James Robertson Justice) design and build an impregnable -- and clever -- burying place for him. In the meantime foreign Princess Nellifer (Joan Collins), herself turned into a slave, manages to make herself one of Khufu's wives, and is determined to become Queen of All Egypt no matter whom she has to kill; obviously power has gone to her head. But will she achieve her goal, or succumb to a much more ironic fate ... ? Land of the Pharaohs is a very entertaining movie, with a splendid lead performance from the authoritative and commanding Jack Hawkins [Ben-Hur]. Joan Collins is also very effective, especially in her early confrontations with Hawkins -- as are Sydney Chaplin as Nellifer's lover, Treneh, the captain of the guard, and Alexis Minotis as Hamar, the Pharaoh's good right hand. There's some odd casting in this, however, with Justice (who usually plays blustery characters in such films as Doctor in Love) adequate as Vashtar and Dewey Martin [The Thing from Another World] handsome and acceptable as Vashtar's grown son, Senta. (Hawks used Martin in other movies as well.) At times the brassy musical score [Dimitri Tiomkin] reminds one of a Broadway musical, and Hawks' direction is not as assured or inspired as it might have been, although the settings are always colorful and the movie has an elaborate production. There's a scene when some who have displeased Pharaoh are thrown to the gators. Believe it or not, William Faulkner was one of the screenwriters! Great ending! Oddly, the movie was a commercial failure.

Verdict: Perhaps not as fictional as one might imagine, although this is still Hollywood. ***.

THE DEVIL WITHIN HER

Cute li'l fella

THE DEVIL WITHIN HER (aka Sharon's Baby/I Don't Want to Be Born/1975). Director: Peter Sasdy.

Lucy Carlesi (Joan Collins) does an act with a dwarf, Hercules (George Claydon), who tries to take liberties with her in her dressing room. When she doesn't comply, he puts a curse on her. The result is that Lucy becomes suspicious of, and terrified by, her adorable baby boy, Nicholas, who is apparently possessed by the still-living Hercules and runs about committing fiendish murders, such as beheading Lucy's doctor (Donald Pleasence) with a shovel! The Devil Within Her is utterly absurd but entertaining, greatly abetted by the very good performances of Collins, Pleasence, John Steiner as a sleazy club owner, Tommy; Ralph Bates [Horror of Frankenstein] as Lucy's husband, Gino; Caroline Munro [The Spy Who Loved Me] as her sister, Mandy; and especially Eileen Atkins [Madame Bovary] as her sister-in-law, Sister Albana. It's Alive, which was made the year before and also featured a killer baby, at least gave its monster fangs and claws and a hideous appearance, but aside from a couple of illusions of the infant resembling the dwarf, this baby is just an adorable little tyke, making the whole project even weirder (the child is so angelic-looking that his gruesome acts seem rather comical). Peter Sasdy also directed Hands of the Ripper and many others. The original title of the film was Sharon's Baby even though the mother is named Lucy. While this film is by no means intellectual, one could claim that it cleverly exploits parents' fears about children and the life/financial changes the little dears bring about. Ray Bradbury once contributed just such a story to an EC horror comic in the fifties.

Verdict: Ridiculous but has a good cast and even some suspense. **1/2.

TALES FROM THE CRYPT (1972)

Joan Collins and a nasty Santa

TALES FROM THE CRYPT (1972). Director: Freddie Francis.

Long before the HBO series, there was this anthology film from Amicus that adapted several stories from the old 1950's E.C. horror comics, including Tales from the Crypt. Several people wind up in a mysterious crypt presided over by no less than a be-cloaked Sir Ralph Richardson, the crypt keeper [nothing like the cackling puppet on the TV series]. He tells them of their future fates, the inference being that they can avoid them if they change their ways. Joan Collins murders her husband and has to deal with a homicidal Santa in "And All Through the House." [The adaptation on the later series is superior to the version in this film.] Peter Cushing gets "Poetic Justice" after being bedeviled by neighbors. In "Reflection of Death" an unfaithful husband (Ian Hendry) survives a car wreck -- or at least thinks he does. "Wish You Were Here," a variation on "The Monkey's Paw," has a woman wishing for her husband to come back to life after he dies in a car wreck, but discovers that it's all in the phrasing. In "Blind Alleys" the residents of a home for the blind who are outrageously mistreated get a grisly revenge on the head of the institution. The movie is fun, well-acted, but has absolutely no style. Followed by The Vault of Horror.

Verdict: Some intriguing ideas get so-so treatment. **1/2.