CHU CHIN CHOW

Fritz Kortner and Anna May Wong

CHU CHIN CHOW (1934). Director: Walter Forde. Colorized.  

Now here is a weird one! Chu Chin Chow was originally a highly popular British operetta with music by Frederick Norton that played for years, but is now more or less forgotten. This very interesting film version has only one cast member whose name may be familiar to modern-day film buffs -- Anna May Wong -- although the other players were all well-known in their day. This adaptation uses some of Norton's wonderful (at times Puccinesque) music but drops some of his best songs. It is a version of the story of Ali Baba and the forty thieves. 

Pearl Argyle and John Garrick

Ali Baba (George Robey) is the brother of the much more successful merchant Kasim (Lawrence Hanray). One day looking for firewood in the Dark Forest, Ali discovers the supposedly magic words to open the entrance to the cave of Abu Hasan (Fritz Kortner of Somewhere in the Night) and his band of thieves and cutthroats. Ali makes off with as much booty as he can and becomes one of the richest men in town. Meanwhile Abu and his men waylay the party of the Chinese Chu Chin Chow and kill everyone, even burying the Chinese man alive; Abu impersonates the dead man, planning to sack the palace. Ali's son Nur-al-din (John Garrick) is in love with the gorgeous slave Marjanah (Pearl Argyle) while another slave, Zahrat (Anna May Wong of Daughter of Shanghai), is the beloved of the evil Abu. These characters all come into conflict with one another in unpredictable fashion until Abu secrets his men in large jars of olive oil planning to attack -- until his plans are stymied in violent fashion.

Lawrence Hanray and George Robey

Chu Chin Chow is strange because it is essentially a light-hearted operetta but has some decidedly grim and bloody developments. When Kasim discovers how his brother got his money, he enters Abu's cave only to be dismembered by forty slashing scimitars (although this is not shown graphically). Later a cobbler has to literally sew the pieces together (!) so the corpse can be presentable. Ali, not an especially likable character, immediately moves in on his brother's fat and unmournful widow. (The song about her, "When a pullet is plump," is dropped). The climax, with dancing girls, an initially unimpressed Caliph (Francis L. Sullivan), a knife attack by a vengeful Zahrat, and the jars allegedly filled with olive oil being dropped down a well followed by flaming liquid, is very well-done and exciting. 

An interesting notion is that the cave door is not opened by magic. When someone shouts out "Open O Sesame" a bunch of Abu's prisoners, starved, whipped and tied to a gigantic wheel, revolve this wheel to open the entrance. When Abu wrongly thinks that Zahrat has betrayed him, he ties her to the wheel until she effects an escape and enacts her revenge. The score includes "The Cobbler's Song," the thieves march, "Anytime's Kissing Time," "Marjanah,"  the title tune (sung briefly), as well as a song about the variety of slaves in the market and even one about olive oil, but doesn't include Norton's two best numbers "I Long for the Sun" and "I Love Thee So." Another version of the famous story is Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves starring Jon Hall and Maria Montez.

Verdict: Rather fascinating and unusual musical. ***. 

THE TONTO KID

Rex Bell as the Tonto Kid

THE TONTO KID (1934). Director: Harry L. Fraser. 

Old Rance Cartwright (Joseph W. Girard of The Spider Returns), who owns a ranch, feels that his time is nearly up, and wants his lawyer, Creech (Theodore Lorch) to find his granddaughter, Edna May. and make her an heiress. Cartwright originally hoped to send his former employee, Skeets Slawson, aka the Tonto Kid (Rex Bell) -- whom he fired for insubordination --  to find the granddaughter, but Skeets has other plans. Creech discovers that the long-lost granddaughter may be dead, so with millions at stake he enlists a friend of hers, Nancy (Ruth Mix), to pose as her. Creech's plans take an even darker turn when he kidnaps the real Edna May (Barbara Roberts) with the help of confused Wesley (Buzz Barton). After saving Creech and Nancy from highway robbers, Skeets and Nancy form a bond, which may come in handy when Creech frames the Tonto Kid for murder. 

Rex Bell with Theodore Lorch

Rex Bell, the handsome husband of "It" girl Clara Bow, was a likable and charismatic western cowboy star. The Tonto Kid, although a mediocre flick, illustrates his considerable, rakish appeal. Skeets is no Roy Rogers -- he's a bit of a rapscallion and most people seem to think he's an actual criminal -- although he's ultimately on the side of the angels. Ruth Mix is the child of Tom Mix, and while no beauty, she isn't a bad actress. The Tonto Kid initially has an interesting premise, but then it goes in too many directions. There are a couple of exciting moments, however.  The ending, in which Skeets is sort of roped into a very sudden marriage without even a proposal, is funny and a little scary! Harry L. Fraser also directed The White Gorilla.

Verdict: Rex Bell is the only reason to watch this. **. 

HOUSEWIFE

HOUSEWIFE (1934). Director: Alfred E. Green.

Nan Reynolds (Ann Dvorak) helps to push her husband Bill (George Brent) to success, then has to deal with it when he falls in love with a man-hungry co-worker, Patricia Berkeley (Bette Davis) and says he wants to marry her. You can argue that the film is fairly predictable and formulaic, but it's also well-acted by the principals and surprisingly entertaining. Dvorak is very lovely and capable, Brent proves again that he could give many a winning performance, and Davis is saucy and likable despite her "bad girl" role. John Halliday and Ruth Donnelly also score as, respectively, one of Bill's clients (in his advertising business), who falls for Nan, and Nan's amused and amusing sister-in-law, Dora. 

Verdict: Easy to take and quite enjoyable, with a winning cast. ***

THE MEANEST GAL IN TOWN

Zazu Pitts and El Brendel

THE MEANEST GAL IN TOWN (1934).  Director: Russell Mack. 

Tillie Prescott (Zazu Pitts) owns a small town clothing store and has been keeping company with barber Chris Peterson (El Brendel) for a decade. Chris tells her he won't marry her until he can afford a second barber chair. Tillie decides to splurge on $300 for the chair, but discovers that Chris has installed a sexy lady -- a stranded actress named Lulu (Pert Kelton) -- as his manicurist. Tillie stops speaking to Chris and winds up being taken advantage of by a slick salesman named Jack (Skeets Gallagher). Chris determines to get Tillie's store back for her while Jack and Duke Slater (James Gleason) compete for the favors of Lulu. Will true love win out in the end?

Pert Kelton as Lulu

 The Meanest Gal in Town is a cute picture with good performances and many funny moments. Pert Kelton was the original Alice on The Honeymooners -- first playing the character on Cavalcade of Stars -- and also played Marion the Librarian's mother in The Music Man. Mae West had appeared in two or three films by 1934 and Kelton at times seems to be channeling her (perhaps deliberately), although in general Kelton has her own style. 

Verdict: Amiable comedy with gifted players. ***. 

THE MAN WITH TWO FACES

Edward G. Robinson and Mary Astor

THE MAN WITH TWO FACES (1934), Director: Archie Mayo. 

"The second act is still a fine piece of Limburger." 

Actor Damon Welles (Edward G. Robinson)is appalled to learn that his brother-in-law Stanley Vance (Louis Calhern), isn't dead after all, but has come back into his sister Jessica's (Mary Astor) life and is exerting a seriously unhealthy influence over her. So he cooks up a scheme to disguise himself and ... This dull and predictable movie, based on a minor stage play, wastes the talents of its excellent cast, who give it more than it deserves. Ricardo Cortez plays a theatrical producer and John Eldredge is a playwright. Robinson has such a distinctive face, figure and aura that, fine actor that he is, it's difficult for him to successfully disguise himself. Crisp, well-composed photography is another bonus but nothing can overcome that creaky plot. 

Verdict: Robinson is always worth watching. **.

STINGAREE

STINGAREE (1934). Director: William Wellman. "

You'll be just as safe here -- as you want to be." 

Bizarre but likable comedy-drama-musical-what-the hell? with Irene Dunne as Hilda Bouverie, who desperately wants a career as a singer, and Richard Dix as "Stingaree," a notorious 1874 Australian bandit who wants to make it happen for her -- even if at gunpoint. Unintentional hilarity ensues when Dunne begins singing Lucia di Lammermoor (off-screen) at all the great opera houses -- Dunne has a lovely, perhaps even an operetta-type voice, but Renata Tebaldi she ain't! However, she's as charming as ever in this film. What can one say about Richard Dix except that he's devoid of looks and insouciance and is more at home in those Whistler movies. The movie needed a Tyrone Power type and that Dix is not, although he's at least professional. As others have noted, nobody wants to see the delightful Mary Boland as a mean-spirited bitch, which she is in this film. When she sings (a dubbed voice that is not operatic-great but hardly terrible) another character says: "Being shot right now would be a blessed relief!" Jealous of Hilda's youth and talent, Boland is the type of singer who blames the accompanist for her own inadequacies. There are many amusing moments in the film, an interesting sequence when Hilda hears off-stage gunshots (has her beloved been shot?) at a concert, and the songs, especially "Tonight is Mine," are lovely. So fast-paced that it doesn't give you much time to ponder the absurdity of it all. Una O'Connor is fun as ever as a maid-companion. 

Verdict: Stupid but cute. ***.

SIX OF A KIND

SIX OF A KIND (1934). Director: Leo McCarey. "

According to you everything I like to do is illegal, immoral, or fattening." -- W. C. Fields. 

 A bank employee, "Pinky" Whinney (Charlie Ruggles), and his wife (Mary Boland) advertise for another couple to share expenses as they go on a second honeymoon and drive all the way from the east coast to California. Who shows up but George (Burns) and Gracie (Allen), an unmarried couple with a humongous, if lovable, dog. The foursome and the beast have assorted, funny misadventures as they travel westward, especially in a small town where John Hoxley (W. C. Fields) is sheriff, Mrs. Rumford (Alison Skipworth) is the hotel proprietress, and "Pinky" is accused of stealing $50,000 from the bank where he works -- and of having a mistress! Fields gets to perform his famous pool routine as he explains how he got the nickname of "Honest" John, and it's a delight to see the formidable Boland squaring off against him. One of the funniest bits has Boland falling off a cliff onto a tree. Everyone in the cast is in top form! 

Verdict: This will put you in a good mood if nothing does! ***.

MURDER AT THE VANITIES

MURDER AT THE VANITIES (1934). Director: Mitchell Leisen.

On opening night at Earl Carroll's Broadway revue, the Vanities, a dead body is found far up above the stage dripping blood on chorus girls. Lt. Murdock (Victor McLaglen) investigates while producer Jack Oakie throws a panic. Kitty Carlisle is the star of the show, Ann Ware, who's engaged to the European import -- and her co-star -- Eric Lander (Carl Brisson). Jessie Ralph is the wardrobe mistress-with-a-secret, and Gertrude Michael is the supremely bitchy performer, Rita Ross (she does a lively number on "Marijuana!") Even Charles Middleton -- Ming the Merciless of the Flash Gordon serials -- shows up as another member of the cast. At one point his orchestra playing Liszt is hijacked by a swing/jazz band and he gets even by firing a (prop) machine gun at everyone on stage. Dorothy Stickney, who years later would play the Queen in the Julie Andrews version of Cinderella, steals the show as Norma, Rita's long-suffering maid and punching bag. Danish Brisson was a former boxer who should have stayed with that profession -- his singing voice is grating on the ears (especially in duet with Carlisle's beautiful tones) and he only made a half dozen or so movies. He had a pleasant enough personality and some little acting ability, but major star material he was not.

Verdict: Not exactly murder to sit through but no world-beater, either. **.

I AM A THIEF

Ricardo Cortez and Mary Astor

I AM A THIEF (1934). Director: Robert Florey.

Jewel robberies have become such frequent occurrences in Paris that the board of the insurance firm Hayle's Ltd figures that post-war adventurers have banded together for the purposes of crime. At an auction for the famous Karenina Diamond necklace, the bidders include Odette (Mary Astor) and Pierre (Ricardo Cortez of The Big Shakedown) who wins the necklace and begins a romance with Odette. The action then switches to the Orient Express, where Odette has followed Pierre when he suddenly takes the train to Istanbul. There are other sinister characters, necklace switches and jewel robberies, and at least one murder on the Orient Express.

Irving Pichel and Astor

I Am a Thief is an entertaining picture that keeps you in suspense because you don't know for quite a while just who is the "thief" of the title, with one never being certain if either Astor or Cortez are "on the side of the angels." Astor, looking comparatively drab, is excellent, as usual, while an amiable Cortez gets by mostly on charm. There are good performances from Irving Pichel [Dick Tracy's G-Men] as Count Trentini; Dudley Digges as Colonel Jackson, who wants to buy the necklace from Pierre; Ferdinand Gottschalk as the little fellow, Cassiet; and Hobart Cavanaugh [Dangerous Blondes] as the insurance man Daudet. Although this has a very different plot, Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient Express was published the same year. Suspects are gathered in a coach at one point just as in the Christie novel.

Verdict: Smooth, fun picture with good performances. ***.  

THE WOMAN CONDEMNED

Claudia Dell and Richard Hemingway

THE WOMAN CONDEMNED (1934). Director: Mrs. Wallace Reid (Dorothy Davenport).

Mediocre radio singer Jane Merrick (Lola Lane) confuses everyone, especially her boss and lover Jim (Jason Robards Sr. of Desperate), by taking off for unknown reasons and refusing to come out of her apartment. She gives instructions to her maid, Sally (Louise Beavers), that she is to tell everyone she is not at home. Then a woman named Barbara (Claudia Dell of The Lost City) is arrested when she is found sneaking around the tony apartment house where a woman is later found murdered. Reporter Jerry Beall (Richard Hemingway) goes to bat for Barbara when she's accused of the crime, and even winds up being married to her in court when he falsely tells one judge she is his fiancee. Confused? The Woman Condemned is suspenseful all right, primarily because you're wondering what the hell is going on and how these different people fit together. The solution is somewhat ridiculous, but what is especially mind-boggling is the silly reason for why Jane feels she needs to disappear. Director Dorothy Davenport, who had been married to the late Wallace Reid, an actor, was also an actress and she dabbled in writing and directing.She proves as adept as most of her male colleagues of the time. The cast in this is also adept, with Mischa Auer playing against type as a doctor. Richard Hemingway was a pleasing leading man -- despite his mild-mannered demeanor he was a boxing champion in real life -- but he had very few credits. Lola Lane [Deadline at Dawn] was one of the Lane sisters, Priscilla being the most successful.

Verdict: This holds the attention but there isn't much pay-off. **1/2.

CRIME WITHOUT PASSION

Margo

CRIME WITHOUT PASSION (1934). Produced, written and directed by Ben Hecht and Charles MacArthur.

Reading a note: ""If you're not here by four o'clock the comedy is finished -- Carmen.' You should have signed it 'Pagliacci.'" -- Lee

A brilliant if arrogant lawyer, Lee Gentry (Claude Rains), is involved with a club entertainer named Carmen (Margo) but thinks he would be better off with the less tempestuous and more patrician Katy (Whitney Bourne). Carmen was once involved with a man named Eddie (Stanley Ridges), and Lee tries to make a big deal out of Eddie's coming to see her just so he can make her the "fall guy" and end his relationship with her. But Carmen is no fool, and things don't work out the way anyone intended. Crime Without Passion has some good acting -- Margo [Lost Horizon] and Rains [The Passionate Friends] are both splendid -- dialogue and situations, but it falls apart by ignoring certain realities of the criminal justice system (even back in those days). Just because someone gets shot doesn't always make it first degree murder. Anyway, the film is brief and minor. Hecht also co-authored the screenplay for Legend of the Lost.

Verdict: Good lead performances can't save a turgid movie. **.

THE NINTH GUEST

Genevieve Tobin and Hardie Albright

THE NINTH GUEST (1934). Director: Roy William Neill.

A group of people who know and who often vehemently dislike one another receive telegrams inviting them to a party in a penthouse. Once there, they wait to find out who the host is, but -- before you can say *Ten Little Indians or And Then There Were None -- they hear a strange voice on a recording telling of past misdeeds and warning that they are all going to die. The phone lines are cut, and the gate leading to the elevator is wired for electricity. The frantic arguing guests include Jean (Genevieve Tobin), who once was the lover of newspaper man, Jim (Donald Cook); Sylvia (Helen Flint), who has marital secrets; disgraced Mayoral candidate Burke (Charles C. Wilson); Henry Abbott (Hardie Albright), who was thrown out of school by Dr. Reid (Samuel S. Hinds); and several others. What's especially remarkable about The Ninth Guest is that it actually *pre-dates the publication  of Agatha Christie's Ten Little Indians by five years. The Ninth Guest boasts a very fast pace, not too much comedy relief to spoil the tense atmosphere, a very generous amount of suspense, some interesting psychological aspects, and good acting, especially from Flint [Give Me Your Heart] and Albright [The Crash]. Roy William Neill also directed a whole host of wonderful Sherlock Holmes films. NOTE: You can find this movie at Free Classic Movies.

Verdict: Worthwhile and quite entertaining suspense film -- possibly an influence on Christie -- with some "shocking" sequences. ***.

EVERGREEN

Just a guppie: Jessie Matthews

EVERGREEN (1934). Director: Victor Saville.

Music hall star Harriet Green (Jessie Matthews) has fallen in love and decided to retire. Her sycophants tell her that she is ageless and will remain "evergreen." Then someone gives her distressing news and she runs off all of a sudden. Decades later, Harriet's lookalike daughter, also named Harriet, shows up in London, and winds up masquerading as her own "ageless" (and deceased) mother. She herself becomes a music hall star, but how long can the deception last? Aside from one lovely tune, 'Springtime in Your Heart" -- which I believe is by Roger Woods and not Rodgers and Hart, who contributed one or two minor ditties -- this is a decidedly poor British musical starring the "talents" of the fish-faced Jessie Matthews whose singing is a trial for the ears -- Betty Boop, anyone? At least when her friend Maudie (Betty Balfour) does a horrendously bad version of an aria from Rigoletto, it is meant to be funny. At one point young Harriet's singing boyfriend Tommy Thompson (Barry MacKay) pretends to be the older Harriet's son, and the two put on a romantic (!) act together, which is gross in of itself. The final production number is okay, there is a weird "futuristic" bit with descending tubes transforming dancers into space-types, but for the most part these numbers are bad imitations of MGM musicals. Matthews later played the mother of Tom Thumb. Matthews has her fans; I am not among them.

Verdict: Stupid, with mostly uninteresting players, and just one good song. **.  

TAILSPIN TOMMY

TAILSPIN TOMMY (12 chapter Universal serial/1934). Director: Lew Landers.

Air enthusiast Tommy Tompkins (Maurice Murphy) of Littleville is given the nickname "Tailspin" by an aviatrix named Betty Lou Barnes (Patricia Farr). Proving his ability as a pilot, Tommy gets a job delivering mail by air, and distinguishes himself with his acts of bravery. Wade Taggart (John Davidson) runs a rival company and tries to wipe out Tommy with acts of sabotage. Finally, the young man comes to the attention of Hollywood, who casts him as -- what else? -- a pilot in their aerial adventure film " Midnight Patrol." Based on Hal Forrest's comic strip, this is a kind of creaky old serial but the flying scenes are still fairly exciting, and there are some good cliffhangers involving crashing aircraft, a well-done earthquake, a train hurtling toward a chasm where the bridge has collapsed, and Tommy being dragged behind a plane as he dangles from a rope. The serial temporarily becomes a bit weird with a sequence in which Tommy and Betty Lou find themselves in an old mansion where a mad scientist traps them in a room with electrical dynamos. Noah Beery Jr. [The Three Musketeers] plays Tommy's intellectually challenged friend Skeeter, and others in the cast include William Desmond, Grant Withers, Dennis Moore, and the never-young Walter Brennan in a bit.  Maurice Murphy makes a pleasantly boyish and enthusiastic Tailspin. He had been acting since the age of ten, and amassed 57 credits. Followed by Tailspin Tommy in the Great Air Mystery in which Murphy was replaced by Clark Williams.

Verdict: Not an especially memorable serial but it has points of interest. **1/2.

TARZAN AND HIS MATE

Cheeta gives Tarzan a kiss

TARZAN AND HIS MATE (1934). Director: Cedric Gibbons.

In  this first sequel to Tarzan the Ape Man, Harry Holt (Neil Hamilton), who is still in love with Jane (Maureen O'Sullivan) returns to Africa to try to get her back, as well as to get some ivory. His slimy friend, Martin (Paul Cavanagh), is broke and after ivory as well, and has no moral values whatsoever. Harry wants Jane to importune Tarzan (Johnny Weissmuller) to take the men to the elephants' graveyard -- which Holt was trying to find in Tarzan the Ape Man - but Tarzan won't allow the place to be desecrated -- besides, Jane's father is also buried there. Then there is an angry tribe of nasty natives who go after the party and kill many of their number after first murdering two rival ivory hunters, whose corpses are left to rot, hanging from trees and covered with crawling insects. Tarzan and His Mate is essentially a retread of the first, more interesting picture, but it is also intense and violent, and has several good scenes: Tarzan battling a truly humongous crocodile; Jane taking a sensual nude swim with Tarzan (in his loincloth); and a climactic attack by a pride of hungry lions. The original Cheeta, who appears almost man-sized, dies in the film and is replaced by a new, smaller Cheeta, who at one point, in the movie's funniest scene, rides on the back of an ostrich! Considering some of his actions, Martin's death isn't nearly horrible enough. The performances are adequate, with Cavanagh [Son of Dr. Jekyll] having the edge. Cedric Gibbons was originally an Oscar-winning art director [Mad Love] and reportedly Jack Conway and others worked on this film uncredited. Gibbons only directed this one film.

Verdict: For heaven's sake -- stay away from the elephant's graveyard. Nothing good ever comes of it! **1/2.

THE THIN MAN

William Powell prepares to question the suspects

THE THIN MAN (1934). Director: W. S. Van Dyke.

Nick Charles (William Powell) retired as a detective when his wife, Nora (Myrna Loy), inherited a fortune from her father. On a trip back to New York, Nick discovers he can't stay away from sleuthing when several people he knows are embroiled in murder. Dorothy Wynant (Maureen O'Sullivan) is worried when her father, Clyde (Edward Ellis), disappears, and things get more complicated when Clyde's mistress, Julia (Natalie Moorhead of The Curtain Falls) is found murdered. More deaths follow as the suspects pile up: Wynant's ex-wife Mimi (Minna Gombell of Babbitt); his weird son, Gilbert (William Henry of Nearly Eighteen); his lawyer, MacCauley (Porter Hall); Mimi's gigolo and second husband, Chris (Cesar Romero); and several other nefarious types. Nick gathers all of the suspects (he pronounces the word with the accent on the second syllable, which is kind of charming in an old-fashioned way) at a dinner party he hosts with an utterly baffled Nora. The Thin Man has good performances from all -- Gertrude Short is snappy in a small role as the shrewish girlfriend of a dead hood -- but one could argue that there's more silliness than humor and it often gets in the way of the not-very-memorable story, although it does manage to build up minor interest and suspense as it goes along. Nobody who watches this will especially care who the killer is. Powell does his usual suave shtick with aplomb; Loy is fine if typically arch; and the little dog Asta almost runs off with the show. There were five sequels to this popular film, most of which, if memory serves me, were superior to this first entry. The title refers to the vanished Wynant, described by police and papers as a "thin man with white hair." Nick, rarely without a drink in his hand, seems half-inebriated throughout the movie. Nat Pendleton is the detective on the case, and Henry Wadsworth is Dorothy's fiance, Tommy.

Verdict: Too self-consciously "cute" by half but not without its moments. **1/2.

CHARLIE CHAN IN LONDON

Drue Leyton, Warner Oland and Ray Milland

CHARLIE CHAN IN LONDON (1934). Director: Eugene Ford.

Pamela Gray (Drue Leyton) is convinced that her brother, Paul (uncredited), is innocent of the murder of an inventor named Hamilton, but his appeal has been denied and he is facing execution. Although Pamela's fiance, Neil (Ray Milland), Paul's lawyer, doesn't believe in his client's innocence, Charlie Chan (Warner Oland) isn't so sure. He has only a couple of days to prove the man's innocence and save his life. Then there's a "suicide" of one of the suspects, and an attempt is made on Chan's life ... Among the suspects are the horse groom Lake (John Rogers); grumpy, uncooperative Major Jardine (George Barraud); Phillips, the butler (Murray Kinnell); Geoffrey Richmond (Alan Mowbray); and his girlfriend, Lady Mary (Mona Barrie), among others. Detective Sergeant Thacker is played by E. E. Clive. Considering the circumstances, Charlie Chan in London should have been a lot more suspenseful than it is, but the actors, Oland included, are more than competent and the movie is watchable. The ending is charming.

Verdict: Chan capably treading water. **1/2.

THE CURTAIN FALLS

Henrietta Crosman

THE CURTAIN FALLS (1934). Director: Charles Lamont.

A broke elderly woman crosses the Atlantic, shows up at an old British manor house, and announces to the family that she is Aunt Hettie, the infamous Lady Scorsby. Accepted into the family Hettie sees that there are problems that need her attention, and she sets out to make things right. Dorothy (Dorothy Lee) has fallen in love with a man, Barry (William Bakewell of Battle of the Sexes), of whom the family doesn't approve, and her mother Katherine (Natalie Moorhead) is falling for the married Lothario, Martin (Jameson Thomas). Her husband, John (Holmes Herbert of Daughter of the Dragon), has had business reversals and is living on bluff. His son Allan (John Darrow) owes a great deal of money to gambling den owner Taggart (Eddie Kane). But the biggest secret is held by Hettie herself. As a drama this film is no great shakes, but it's bolstered by the performance of Crosman and has a moving wind-up and several adept portrayals from the supporting cast. Hettie putting one over on Taggart in his own crooked gambling den is a highlight of the movie. Lamont was a prolific director of certain Abbott and Costello movies as well as such films as Chip Off the Old Block.

Verdict: An engaging lead performance and an interesting situation never hurt. ***.

PIRATE TREASURE

PIRATE TREASURE (12 chapter Universal serial/1934). Director: Ray Taylor.

Achieving the world's record for a solo flight, Dick Moreland (Richard Talmadge) decides to use the prize money to organize a voyage to search for his pirate ancestor's gold. Unfortunately, others get wind of his notion and try to snatch away the charts that he needs to reach the island in the south seas where the treasure is. Dick has a girlfriend, Dorothy (Lucille Lund), who takes the journey with him along with her father, and there is a nasty female who works with the bad guys named Marge (Beulah Hutton). Pirate Treasure is primitive but occasionally lively, such as a fight on top of a speeding train, a boat that smashes into a buoy, some gators in a lagoon, and an especially suspenseful sequence involving a falling crate in chapter seven. The fisticuffs are far below the Republic level -- everyone just flails their arms like children smacking each other and there is no nifty choreography. The island is full of angry natives. Talmadge's voice is kind of comical, like a German comedian, and hardly heroic-sounding.

Verdict: One of the serials you can probably miss. **.

SHE HAD TO CHOOSE

Isabel Jewell and Regis Toomey

SHE HAD TO CHOOSE (1934). Director: Ralph Ceder.

Sally Bates (Isabel Jewell) makes her way to Hollywood and a hopefully better life, but would have wound up sleeping in her car were it not for the kindness of Bill Cutler (Buster Crabbe), who runs a food stand with his mother (Maidel Turner of State of the Union). Bill develops feelings for Sally, although he already has a girlfriend in wealthy, snooty Clara (Sally Blane). However he has a rival for Sally's affections in Jack Berry (Regis Toomey of Shopworn), who loves to drink and party. In the meantime, Bill's mother turns out not to be quite as nice as she at first seems. Jewell [The Seventh Victim] is an appealing performer, the other cast members are fine, but She Had to Choose becomes increasingly ridiculous and melodramatic. The funniest scene -- intended to be dramatic -- is when Sally rips off a dress she is wearing [unbeknownst to her it belongs to Clara] after an altercation and runs out of a nightclub in her slip. And things get more ridiculous after that! One assumes the title has to do with which man Sally will choose, as she really isn't given any other "choices" in the movie.

Verdict: Don't choose this movie. *1/2.