BACK FROM ETERNITY

BACK FROM ETERNITY (1956). Director: John Farrow.

In this widescreen if black and white remake of Five Came Back (which was also directed by John Farrow), a motley group of passengers survive a crash in the South American jungle, only to realize that only a few of them can fly away and there are headhunters right around the corner. Back from Eternity could have been a terrific, gut-wrenching movie if only all of the dumb "Hollywoodisms" had been excised from the script. True, I've watched plenty of silly if entertaining dumb Hollywood movies, but what makes Eternity worse is that it had so much potential. True, the final few minutes are suspenseful, the acting isn't bad, and the conclusion has a certain power, but otherwise it's not a very good movie. Anita Ekberg [Screaming Mimi] got the lion's share of the publicity, and aside from being beautiful and busty, she's not a bad actress, either (by Hollywood standards, at least), although her American career didn't last long. (She appeared in this before her famous role in Fellini's La Dolce Vita.) Robert Ryan as the possibly tippling pilot is perhaps less effective in this than in other films, but Rod Steiger offers the best performance as a condemned man being brought back for execution. Phyllis Kirk and Gene Barry are effective enough as an engaged couple who have problems, and Beulah Bondi and Cameron Prud'homme are fine as an elderly professor and his wife. Jesse White is Jesse White.

SPOILER ALERT: Now let's talk about those "Hollywoodisms:" Fred Clark is taking Steiger back for execution, but he uses no handcuffs on a supposedly dangerous felon. Kirk and Ekberg have a completely ridiculous "cat fight" over a man that serves only to show the latter in a wet, clinging outfit. Worse still is the whole business with the lovely stewardess, Maria (Adele Mara of Night Time in Nevada). First let's make it clear that Maria is a friend and co-worker of the pilot and his co-pilot (Keith Andes), and is an attractive and really nice person. Saving a little boy (Jon Prevost) from falling out of the plane when a tank smashes open the door, she herself falls to her death in a horrifying moment. There is no scene when Andes tells Ryan what happened. After the plane lands in the jungle, Ryan says to Andes "everyone all right?" to which Andes replies that the passengers were only a little bruised. There's absolutely no mention of brave Maria and her horrible death throughout the rest of the movie, and these are her co-workers!  (A somewhat similar sequence occurred in another plane crash drama The Crowded Sky.) Admittedly, the passengers are having their own problems, but even during a quiet, contemplative moment much later on, when the pious professor and his wife lead everyone in the Lord's Prayer, nobody offers up a prayer for Maria. It's unbelievable, cold-blooded and illogical scenes like this (or the lack of them) and others that make me classify Back From Eternity less as drama than as schlock. Farrow's direction, although the plane scenes are well-handled, also does little to disguise/detour around some moments of really bad acting.

Verdict: The final quarter has its moments but then there's the rest of it ... **.

MY SISTER EILEEN (1955)

Janet Leigh and Bob Fosse

MY SISTER EILEEN (1955). Director: Richard Quine.

Ruth Sherwood (Betty Garrett) and her younger and prettier sister Eileen (Janet Leigh of The Spy in the Green Hat) come from Ohio to Greenwich Village to pursue careers as, respectively, a writer and an actress. Eileen becomes entangled with lunch counter waiter Frank (Bob Fosse) and on-the-make reporter Chick (Tommy Rail), while Ruth is involved with prominent magazine editor, Bob Baker (Jack Lemmon). Will the sisters find success and romance?

Bob Fosse and Betty Garrett

My Sister Eileen was originally filmed in 1942 with Rosalind Russell playing Ruth. Russell then reprised the role in a Broadway musical version entitled Wonderful Town with music by Leonard Bernstein. Columbia Pictures, which owned the rights to the original film, wanted to do a film adaptation of Wonderful Town with Judy Holliday stepping into the lead, but the show's producers wanted too much money. Therefore they decided to remake Eileen and add a completely new and different score by Leo Robin and Jule Styne. Meanwhile, Judy Holliday became unavailable and Betty Garrett, oddly, was signed to the part.

Jack Lemmon

Garrett, who was married to the blacklisted Larry Parks, is pleasant and competent enough as Ruth, but she can't hold a candle to Rosalind Russell. My Sister Eileen did not lead to major stardom for Garrett, who had bigger successes on television (All in the Family; Laverne and Shirley). Aside from a film noir feature some years later, Eileen was, in fact, Garrett's last starring role. Everyone in this remake is a step downward from the cast in the earlier film with the exception of Bob Fosse, who is very appealing, and Tommy Rail, who is handsome and adept, although, like Fosse, better known for his dancing (and in Fosse's case, choreography and direction). Ironically, Fosse's role in the original picture was played by Richard Quine, who co-wrote (with Blake Edwards) and directed this remake. Jack Lemmon is also quite nice as the editor, Bob Barker. Lemmon and Quine reunited for How to Murder Your Wife ten years later.

Kasznar, Leigh, Garrett, York

Other roles are filled by Kurt Kasznar as the landlord and Dick York as the off-season football player (which the skinny York scarcely resembles) who lives upstairs. The roles of the sisters' father and grandmother have been eliminated, along with the fortune teller Effie. This remake is not only in Technicolor and CinemaScope but it's been opened up with scenes in Frank's drug store, the El Morocco nightclub, and even the Brooklyn Navy Yard, although the apartment and Village scenes are clearly filmed on a sound stage. The Portuguese merchant marines have become Brazilian sailors. Expanding this sequence just creates a ridiculous scene in which these guys all chase after the not-very-sexy Garrett, something not handled quite so blatantly in the original. The conga scene from the original movie becomes a big production number but loses most of its charm. Another change has Ruth pretending that her stories about Eileen are really about her, an unnecessary development that goes nowhere.

Garrett, Fosse, Leigh, and Rail

Then there are the songs. Jule Styne, the composer of Funny Girl, Gypsy and Darling of the Day can be counted on for some nice numbers and he delivers such good tunes as "I'm Great But No One Knows It," "There's Nothin' Like Love" and "Give Me a Band and My Baby." One of the best scenes in the movie has Fosse and Rail doing a dancing dual as Eileen goes off for an audition.

Verdict: On its own terms, this can be entertaining, and the musical interludes are generally nice, but on a whole it's a cut below the original. **1/4.

GOOD NEWS

Peter Lawford and June Allyson

GOOD NEWS (1947). Director: Charles Walters.

Love is in the air at Tait University. Beef (Loren Tindall) is crazy about Babe (Joan McCracken), but she only has eyes for skinny Bobby (Ray McDonald). Connie (June Allyson) is smitten with football hero, Tommy (Peter Lawford), but he pangs for a new student, the pretentious, money-hungry, French (mis)quoting Pat (Patricia Marshall). Pat resists Tommy because she thinks the stuffy Peter Van Dyne III (Robert E. Strickland) has much more money. Considering who the stars of the picture are, it's no secret who will wind up with whom.

Patricia Marshall and Peter Lawford

Good News is a remake of a 1930's musical that was based on a Broadway show from the twenties. The plot -- such as it is -- was silly and insubstantial for 1930 let alone 1947, so the movie has to get by on its charm, its cast and its music. Neither Peter Lawford nor June Allyson can really sing -- Lawford is especially horrible to listen to; even his speaking voice is overly nasal -- and the other cast members don't have such dulcet tones, either, although Marshall is okay and McCracken (who was on Broadway in Rodger and Hammerstein's Me and Juliet) at least has personality and a voice best described as flavorful. Then there are the songs [De Sylva/Henderson/Brown].

Varsity Drag

Some of the songs are instantly forgettable, but there are a few that stay in the memory. "The Best Things in Life are Free" is, of course, a well-known standard, but there's also "Lucky in Love," as well as "Pass That Peace Pipe", "Just Imagine" and "Varsity Drag," which is the movie's liveliest production number. The performances across the board are all good, even though hardly anyone looks like a college kid with maybe the exception of 27-year- old McDonald. Allyson is certainly much more appealing in this than the rather freakish Penny Singleton in the 1930 version. Lawford has enough charm to get by even though he is hardly perfect casting. Others in the cast include Mel Torme as a student, Connie Gilchrist as a house mother, Donald MacBride as a rapacious coach, and Clinton Sundberg as a French teacher. Patricia Marshall did not appear in another movie for 28 years; she appeared primarily on the stage. McDonald only lived until 37 and McCracken died at 43.

Verdict: Mindless kitsch but fun if you're in the mood. **3/4. 

MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS (2017)

Kenneth Branagh as Hercule Poirot

MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS (2017).

Traveling on the Orient Express in 1934, famous detective Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branagh) learns that a man has been murdered and is asked to investigate by his old friend Bouc (Tom Bateman), a representative of the train line. As Poirot interviews the other passengers, he slowly discovers that many of them had some connection to the victim, a man named Rachet, who was really the notorious kidnapper, Casetti (Johnny Depp). As Poirot discovers the many secrets of the numerous suspects, he finds himself with a moral dilemma. I was a bit taken aback when I first heard of this film, but I must say that I was pleasantly surprised when I finally saw it. Although he may not be quite as convincing as David Suchet or Albert Finney in the first version, Branagh is much better as the Belgian detective than anticipated. Unlike Christie's creation -- and for better or worse -- Branagh makes a more "virile" Poirot, and has him mooning over the photograph of a lost love as if to prove his heterosexuality (Poirot was never gay in any case). The movie is also superior to the 1974 version, with better performances from the supporting cast and a more serious tone. Michael Green's screenplay intelligently "opens up" the film in small ways, and the plot doesn't seem quite so far-fetched. Depp is excellent as the racketeer, and there are also notable turns from Michelle Pfieffer as Mrs. Hubbard (she is much better than Lauren Bacall in the original); Derek Jacobi as a nervous manservant; Willem Dafoe as a Pinkerton detective; and Judi Dench as the formidable Princess Dragomiroff. Of the younger players, Josh Gad makes an impression as McQueen, the dead man's secretary, as do Daisy Ridley [Star Wars Part VII] as Mary Debenham and Leslie Odom Jr. as Dr. Arbuthnot. Arbuthnot was not a black character in Christie's novel -- this film is generally faithful to it -- but that does not present a problem, except that at one point the positively drawn character seems to become quite negative. Patrick Doyle's [Thor] score lacks the suspense and tension that a mystery requires, but in the final quarter it does add some depth and somberness to the proceedings. "Never Forget," which we hear over the closing credits, is a pretty song that is very nicely warbled by Michell Pfeiffer, who proved she could sing long ago in Grease 2.

Agatha Christie was still alive when the first version of this story came out. While she admired Finney, she did not admire his mustache, which was nowhere near as "magnificent" (at least in Poirot's opinion)  as it was supposed to be. Love it or hate it, Branagh's mustache would probably have pleased Christie. This movie was absolutely hated by many people -- who thought they fiddled unnecessarily with a "masterpiece" -- but as much as I love Christie's work, I don't consider the novel to be a "masterpiece" nor the first film version, either.

Verdict: Unevenly directed perhaps, but still the best version of this venerable old story. Makes me look forward to Branagh's version of Death on the Nile. ***.

ALL THE KING'S MEN (2006)

Sean Penn

ALL THE KING'S MEN (2006). Director: Steven Zaillian.

Willie Stark (Sean Penn) rises up from the Louisianan swamps to the governor's mansion, accompanied by reporter and associate Jack Burden (Jude Law). Jack has a father figure in Judge Irwin (Anthony Hopkins), and has long carried a torch for Anne Stanton (Kate Winslet), whose brother, Adam (Mark Ruffalo) is wooed by Stark for an important medical position. But then Jack helps Willie get information that the latter uses to blackmail the judge ... This remake of the 1949 All the King's Men is inferior in every way. Sean Penn [Mystic River] plays with his customary dynamism, but his gesticulating in certain sequences borders on the ludicrous and his southern accent is so thick that there are times you can hardly understand him. While Jude Law [Black Sea]  has his moments, through most of the movie you get the impression that he just wants to go off somewhere and get a good night's sleep. The father-son dynamic between the two men is lost because Penn and Law look around the same age, although Penn is the older by twelve years. Events that are played up in the original movie are so downplayed in the remake that it's as if they never happened. We hardly see Stark's wife, his son has been written out of the movie altogether (eliminating a development that was a key plot point in the original) , and Mercedes McCambridge's character in the original, now played by Patricia Clarkson [Far From Heaven], is practically reduced to a walk-on. Jackie Earle Haley is scary in every sense of the word. Badly directed (despite some pseudo-artistic touches), and with a poor script, as well as a cast that has done much better work in other films, All the King's Men is a tedious misfire.

Verdict: Stick with the original. **.

CASBAH

Yvonne De Carlo and Tony Martin 

CASBAH (1948). Director: John Berry.

Thief Pepe le Moko (Tony Martin) hides out in the Casbah while the friendly cop Slimane (Peter Lorre) hopes he'll step out of his safe harbor so he can arrest him. Pepe falls for Gaby (Marta Toren), who is the fiancee of the wealthy Claude (Herbert Rudley of Decoy), inspiring jealousy both in Claude and in Inez (Yvonne De Carlo), who thinks of herself as Pepe's one true love. Naturally, nobody's plans work out as they intended. It was only a matter of time before someone got the idea of making a musical out of the Pepe le Moko story -- filmed at least twice before as Pepe le Moko and Algiers -- and this is the closest you'll ever get, as this is what you might call a semi-musical remake with crooner Martin singing a couple of vaguely pleasant tunes by Harold Arlen and Leo Robin (Martin is in splendid voice). Casbah is not nearly as bad as you might expect, with Martin making a sexier and gruffer Pepe, and Peter Lorre spicing up the proceedings with his typically interesting portrayal of Slimane. In this version the Casbah seems less a filthy ghetto and more a mere tourist attraction, but it has at least as much artificial atmosphere as the first two versions. Unlike Algiers, Casbah is not a copy of Pepe le Moko, but eliminates some characters, has different sequences, and makes Gaby even more independent than in the other versions but also less likable. Swedish actress Toren had a few uncredited parts before being "introduced" in this film as the "next Ingrid Bergman." She's adequate and managed to amass a number of credits but she died tragically young at thirty. Yvonne De Carlo is her saucy self as Inez, although she's not always photographed very flatteringly. Other cast members include Douglas Dick [The Accused] in an unsympathetic character part; Hugo Haas as a friend of Pepe's; and the always-interesting Virginia Gregg as a friend of Gaby's. If there's any problem with Casbah, it's that this version tries too hard to make this some kind of tragic love story when the lovers barely know one another, are completely one-dimensional, and Martin and Toren don't even have that much chemistry together. The shot of Martin on the runway while the plane bearing Toren soars overhead is a dramatic composition but it also comes off as a little hokey considering. Interestingly, while the earlier versions only talk about how difficult it would be for the police to get a captured Pepe out of the Casbah, this version actually shows us how difficult it would be, as all of Pepe's cronies come to his rescue after he's been handcuffed, attack the cops, and free him. John Berry also directed Tension.

Verdict: The odd but arresting duo of Martin and Lorre almost make this work. **1/2.

INVADERS FROM MARS

The Supreme Martian Intelligence -- no wonder the martians lose!

INVADERS FROM MARS (1986). Director: Tobe Hooper.

"They're huge, ugly ... Mr. Potato-heads." -- David.

David Gardner (Hunter Carson) sees a spaceship land in the sand dunes past his back yard, but can't get anyone to believe him. His parents (Timothy Bottoms and Laraine Newman) seem to have been taken over by alien mentalities, along with stern teacher Mrs. McKeitch (Louise Fletcher), but a sympathetic school nurse named Linda (Karen Black of Trilogy of Terror) teams up with David to find out what's going on in the sand dunes. There are very large, ugly martians whose bodies are basically big heads with teeth on weird legs, stalking around underground, all lorded over by a "Supreme Martian Intelligence" who seems all brain. Will Linda and David be able to convince the military that there is danger afoot? This remake of the 1950's Invaders from Mars can't quite seem to make up its mind whether it's a parody or just a whimsical sci fi flick seen, like the original, through a child's eyes. This version has much better FX than the original (with elaborate Alien-influenced sets) and much more action as well. A nice touch is that there is that same winding fence leading into the sand dunes as in the original. A highlight -- if that's the word -- is when one of the aliens makes a snack out of Louise Fletcher [Exorcist II: The Heretic] and devours her practically in one gulp! I didn't spot Jimmy Hunt, who was the kid in the original, but he plays a police chief. The performances are all okay for the most part.

Verdict: Slightly more entertaining than the original. **1/2.

THE BREAKING POINT

Patricia Neal and John Garfield

THE BREAKING POINT (1950). Director: Michael Curtiz.

"A man alone ain't got no chance."

NOTE: Some plot points are revealed in this review.

Harry Morgan (John Garfield) is married to a loving wife named Lucy (Phyllis Thaxter) and has two adorable little girls. Harry is trying his best to keep his charter fishing business afloat, but it doesn't help when one client takes off and stiffs him, leaving behind his girlfriend of the moment, Leona (Patricia Neal). Harry resists Leona's charms, but he can't resist getting into criminal activity to pay his bills, and after an interlude with some smuggled Chinese, winds up using his boat as a getaway in a robbery. But will anybody get away with anything? The Breaking Point is the second (and apparently more faithful) version of Hemingway's To Have and Have Not, and for much of its length plays like gritty if meandering film noir. Patricia Neal makes the most of her few scenes, but she seems thrown in for little purpose except to test the anti-hero's resolve -- at least one scene seems completely contrived. Garfield is good, while Thaxter perhaps underplays too much as his wife. Wallace Ford [The Mummy's Hand] is memorable as a slimy lawyer who offers Harry less kosher jobs when he needs the money, and Victor Sen Yung [Charlie Chan in Honolulu], formerly one of Charlie Chan's sons, scores in a sinister role as a man smuggling his fellow Chinese but who doesn't give a damn about them. One of the most notable performances comes from William Campbell [Dementia 13] as a smart-talkin' hood with an itchy trigger finger. Juano Hernandez is also fine as Wes, Harry's ill-fated deck hand who tries to keep his boss and friend out of trouble to his ultimate regret. The final shot of the film, showing Wes's little boy all alone on the dock wondering where his father is, is absolutely heart-breaking, reminding the audience of the tragic cost of  Harry's actions. It is an unusual way to end the film, as generally the lives and deaths of supporting (especially minority) characters were forgotten by the closing credits. The Breaking Point is imperfect, but it may be the best adaptation of Hemingway ever. Superior cinematography from Ted D. McCord. Composer Max Steiner was clearly not allowed to break out all the stops but he should have been.

Verdict: Absorbing, generally well-acted melodrama with an extra layer of depth. ***.

PHOENIX

Nina Hoss and Ronald Zehrfeld

PHOENIX (2014). Director: Christian Petzold.

Nelly (Nina Hoss), a concentration camp survivor whose face has been reconstructed, returns to Germany and is helped by her dear friend Lene (Nina Kunzendorf). Nelly wants to find her husband, Johnny (Ronald Zehrfeld), but Lene warns her that he betrayed her to the Nazis. Nelly can't believe this, but when she re-encounters Johnny, he doesn't recognize her and in fact wants her to pretend to be herself so he can lay claim to her money. Loving not wisely but well, Nelly goes along with the "deception," but she may not be able to deal with the bitter truth. Phoenix may seem to borrow a plot point from Anastasia or Return from the Ashes, which is not surprising in the latter case since Phoenix and Return were both based on the novel Le Retour des cendres. The story is treated quite differently in each film, however. Return from the Ashes is basically a suspense film, whereas Phoenix, although it has some suspense in its understated way, is more of a drama. Phoenix also examines the feelings of Jews and other Germans in the post WW2 period, and is quite moody and low-key. This approach may not work for everyone, but it is quietly powerful nevertheless. Another change is that there are hints that the character of Lene may be a lesbian who is in love with Nelly, making certain late developments in the picture even more tragic. The film is very well acted by the entire cast. One might wish, however, that despite the numbness felt by the main character, there was a little more emotion in the picture and perhaps a more dramatic windup..

Verdict: Flawed but absorbing. ***

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE? (1991)

Twisted Sisters: Vanessa and Lynn Redgrave

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE? (1990 telefilm). Director: David Greene.

"You always were a personality actress. Same performance, different outfit." -- Jane to Blanche.

Former child star Baby Jane Hudson (Lynn Redgrave) lives in a Hollywood mansion where she takes care of her crippled sister, former movie star Blanche Hudson (Vanessa Redgrave). The two sisters -- played by two real-life sisters -- have always had a problematic relationship, but things get worse when Jane discovers that her sister plans to sell the mansion and put her in an institution. Jane begins a campaign of harassment against her sister even as she plans her comeback with video shop owner and part-time drag queen, Billy (John Glover). Meanwhile Blanche does her best to escape her tormentor before the worst can happen. This TV remake of the classic What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? teaming two famous real-life sisters, must have seemed an irresistible notion, but however formidable the talents of Lynn and Vanessa they are "pygmies" compared to the even more formidable Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. That being said, Lynn [Georgy Girl] and Vanessa, with very different acting styles from the two Hollywood movie stars, give good, perhaps more naturalistic, performances. The telefilm has other pleasures, including Bruce A. Young as Blanche's handsome physical therapist (also an aspiring actor) and John Glover's wonderful portrayal of Billy, who tries his damnedest to get Baby Jane back into show business -- which culminates in a "showcase" in a bar which is one of the most memorable scenes in the picture. An in-joke has Blanche/Vanessa watching one of her older movies on television and saying "So many things that Tony could have improved upon" -- Vanessa was married to film director Tony Richardson for five years; she later married her Camelot co-star Franco Nero and they are still married to this day. This version is not as much of a horror film as the original, despite two murder sequences. Peter Manning Robinson's music helps add some pathos to the conclusion, but it still doesn't make sense that Jane would say "you mean all this time we could have been friends" when she finds out Blanche was only crippled trying to kill her sister!

Verdict: Not as good as the original, but not without its peculiar "charms." ***.

OLDBOY

Elizabeth Olsen and Josh Brolin

OLDBOY (2013). Director: Spike Lee.

Joe Doucett (Josh Brolin) is a self-destructive, hard-drinking douche bag of a man who has little to do with his ex-wife and baby daughter. One night he wakes up in what seems to be a hotel room -- and spends the next twenty years there as the world goes by, "missing" such events as 9/11 and the New Orleans hurricane. He learns through the TV that his ex-wife has been raped and murdered. When Joe gets out, he makes up his mind to find out who imprisoned him and why. Oldboy is a remake of a 2003 Korean film, and while it certainly has a fascinating premise, its execution is problematic; one wishes Lee hadn't tried so hard to emulate Quentin Tarantino. At one point, Joe takes on a half dozen nasty hoods all by himself a la Captain America; such scenes as this push the film right up to the edges of camp. Once you accept that the movie has become increasingly far-fetched and even ridiculous, you can get caught up in the suspense of wondering what exactly is going on, although some viewers may not care. The movie has a twisted ending which may have fooled some people into thinking this is better than it really is, but you may be asking yourself if it really adds up to anything. Brolin [American Gangster] gives an excellent performance, and there is nice work from Samuel L Jackson [Twisted], Elizabeth Olsen, Sharlto Copley, Michael Imperiolo, and James Ransone [Sinister 2]  as a doctor, among others. The lead character is definitely an asshole but he probably doesn't deserve all that happens to him. There is no attempt to actually make Brolin or other characters look twenty years older; in the early scenes a 45-year-old Brolin is playing 25.

Verdict: Arresting at times, but there's less here than meets the eye. **1/2.

DEAD EYES OF LONDON

DEAD EYES OF LONDON (aka Die toten Augen von London/1961). Director: Alfred Vohrer.

In London, there is a series of "accidental drownings" of vision-impaired men on foggy nights. These deaths are tied in with the Greenwich insurance company and may have something to do with a home for blind pensioners run by Reverend Dearborn (Dieter Borsche). Then there are the infamous, possibly mythical "blind killers of London" run by Jacob Farrell aka "Blind Jack" (Tor Johnson lookalike Ady Berber). Inspector Holt (Joachim Fuchsberger) and a braille teacher named Nora (Karin Beal) nearly pay a heavy price for getting involved in this mystery. Dead Eyes of London is a remake of an old Bela Lugosi film of the same title (aka The Human Monster), and it is an extremely suspenseful movie with some very good plot twists. Karl Lob has contributed some unusual camera work, such as a shot from inside a man's mouth as he sprays his throat! There's an exciting climax, and a well-handled murder inside an elevator shaft. The biggest "name" in the cast is Klaus Kinski [Doctor Zhivago] as Edgar Strauss. Based on a novel by the prolific Edgar Wallace.

Verdict: Well-done West German suspense thriller. ***

STATE FAIR (1962)

Pat Boone and Ann-Margret

STATE FAIR (1962). Director: Jose Ferrer.

In this CinemaScope remake of the 1945 State Fair, the Frake family are off not to a fair in Iowa but in Texas. Mom (Alice Faye) and Dad (Tom Ewell) still want ribbons for their mincemeat and boar, respectively, but now the son Wayne (Pat Boone) races cars while sister Margy (Pamela Tiffin), still restless, is bored with her now-handsome fiance, Harry (David Brandon). At the fair Wayne meets up with entertainer Emily (Ann-Margret) and Margy encounters radio interviewer Jerry (Bobby Darin). Now let's see -- Darin  and Boone [Mardi Gras], of course, simply had decades of experience in musical theater (!) but in spite of this they are not as bad singing show tunes as you might expect. In fact, after Tom Ewell, Boone actually gives the best performance in the movie (credit director Jose Ferrer, perhaps). Boone has a nice voice, and puts over such numbers as "That's for Me" and a new song (Rodgers composed several new numbers for this remake), "Willing and Eager." Darin, usually a very different kind of singer, also delivers when he croons "You're Not an Angel." Faye is given a new number that she sings to her daughter, "Never Say No to a Man" and she and Ewell, who obviously can't sing "I Owe Iowa" anymore, perform "The Littlest Things in Texas" instead. The new songs are perfectly pleasant. Unfortunately, "Isn't It Kind of Nice?" is horrendously staged, first as a weird burlesque and then jazzed up with Ann-Margret [Any Given Sunday] tearing at that lobster again while she sings, although she is better when she relaxes a bit doing "Willing and Eager" with Boone. "It's a Grand Night for Singing" doesn't get a big production nearly as good as the one in the original. Unlike Dana Andrews in the first version, Darin plays the character like a cheap and common playboy, making it improbable that Margy would fall for him or vice versa; Wayne's hasty romance with Emily is only slightly more convincing. Wally Cox [The Night Strangler] is funny as the judge who gets inebriated on mincemeat. Alice Faye is okay as the mother, but there are times when you get the impression she'd rather be anywhere else than in this movie. She's given some funny lines -- "[Ewell] won't be happy until that hog shows up in Who's Who" -- but her delivery is always flat. Faye was to play the daughter's role in the 1945 movie but abruptly retired; this was supposedly her comeback. State Fair was finally turned into a Broadway musical in 1996 using songs from both movies and a couple from lesser-known Rodgers and Hammerstein shows.

Verdict: Has some nice moments but decidedly inferior to the original. **1/2.

GOODBYE, MR. CHIPS (1969)

     

Petula Clark wonders what she ever saw in Mr. Chips?

 GOODBYE, MR. CHIPS (1969). Director:    Herbert Ross. Screenplay by Terence      Rattigan.

 "Yesterday I was their age. Tomorrow they'll    be my age. Sooner, much sooner, than they  know."

  This version of the classic film Goodbye, Mr.    Chips adds technicolor, panavision, music and lyrics, as well as a half hour to the running time, and it still can't compare to the original. Although he gives it -- pardon me -- the old college try,  Peter O'Toole is gravely miscast as Mr. Chipping. His performance has some good moments, but by and large he fails to make Mr. Chips anything more than an old fuddy duddy that would hardly endear himself to students, women, or anyone else. In the original, Robert Donat was a fuddy duddy, yes, but he imbued the character with warmth, charm, and humanity, things O'Toole completely lacks. Surprisingly, Petula Clark, better known as the pop singer of "Downtown" and other hits but who also had an acting career, gives a sharp and confident and believable performance as Chips' wife, the colorful entertainer, Katherine. In the original film, Chips' wife, played by Greer Garson, was another more or less genteel soul (although more outgoing than her husband) so her union with Chips never seemed implausible. But in this remake, one can't ever imagine the free-spirited Katherine seriously hooking up with the dense, stuffy and altogether unpleasant school teacher, Chips. If the on-camera relationship works, it's strictly because of Clark. The only scene in this movie that ever comes close to having the quality of the original version is when Chips is in the classroom when he discovers his wife has died -- not in childbirth as in the first movie, but blown up by a German bomb. Otherwise, this movie is not very moving (not even the aforementioned scene, frankly) and seems to do everything it can to avoid even honest sentiment. Except for one incident, WW1 is glossed over as if it hardly happened and Mrs. Chips might just as well have been killed in a car accident. The songs, with both music and lyrics by Leslie Bricusse, (John Williams also contributed to the score), are hit or miss. There's a lovely boys chorus early in the picture, and an excellent "London is London" production number when Katherine appears in a stage musical before meeting Chips, some mildly pretty ditties, but with few exceptions the lyrics are trite and cliche-ridden. Petula Clark has a perfectly good voice, but O'Toole should have been strongly importuned to have his singing dubbed -- he is, in a word, awful. Herbert Ross' [The Last of Sheila] direction is fairly leaden and it is an effort to even sit through this all the way to the conclusion. Michael Redgrave is okay but nearly invisible as the headmaster; Sian Phillips [Becket] scores as Katherine's friend, the pixilated Ursula Mossbank; as does Michael Bryant [The Ruling Class] as fellow teacher, Max; and there is some very nice work from the boys, especially Michael Culver, Tom Owen, and John Gugolka.

Verdict: Pretty bad remake that seems to get worse the longer it goes on. **.

THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE (1962)

Glenn Ford and Ingrid Thulin with backdrop of Notre Dame

THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE (1962). Director: Vincente Minelli.

This remake of the silent film of the same title has been updated to WW Two. Argentinian Madriaga (Lee J. Cobb) is dispatched with rather quickly, and most of the story takes place in Paris, where an initially superficial Julio Desnoyers (Glenn Ford) has an affair with the married Marguerite Laurier (Ingrid Thulin of The Silence). Julio's father Marcelo (Charles Boyer) had deserted Army service years before and begs his son to fight the Nazis, unaware that Julio has already joined the resistance. This leads to the movie turning into a ersatz spy picture that has Julio going off on a suicide mission and a final confrontation with his cousin Heinrich (Karl Boehm of Sissi). Other characters include Julio's sister Chi Chi (Yvette Mimieux of Light in the Piazza) who joins the resistance much sooner; Marguerite's husband, Etinne (Paul Henreid); and Heinrich's father, Karl (Paul Lukas). It's amazing that adding all the excitement and peril of WW Two, plus technicolor and CinemaScope, has not resulted in a better movie than the original, but a far worse one. A middle-aged Glenn Ford is horribly miscast -- Minelli wanted a more appropriate Alain Delon but MGM nixed it -- and his love affair with Marguerite never for a minute seems passionate or believable. Scenes that should crackle with tension and drama are frittered away by Minelli's lacklustre direction. Not a single actor ever gets a close up, further distancing us from the characters, and Andre Previn's musical score can best be described as insipid. Milton R. Krasner's cinematography is a plus, but the sweeping vistas do little to pull us into the story. Other changes from the silent version include more wartime interaction between the two families -- one French, the other German -- and Etienne is not blinded. A bizarre sequence has Marguerite telling her husband she's leaving him for Julio the exact instant after he shows up, shattered by being tortured, after months away -- what perfect timing! Badly written and poorly made despite all the technological advances, this is a colossal bore. Of the cast, only Charles Boyer makes much of an impression. Like the silent version, this also has shots of phantom horsemen floating through the skies, and this time it seems even hokier.

Verdict: Stick with the original. ** out of 4.

THE WICKED LADY

 Faye Dunaway having a Horrible Hair Day

THE WICKED LADY (1983). Director: Michael Winner.

In this remake of The Wicked Lady, Caroline (Glynis Barber) is about to marry the wealthy Sir Ralph Skelton (Denholm Elliott), when along comes her cousin Barbara (Faye Dunaway) who steals away Skelton, marries him, and retains poor Caroline as her domestic. When Barbara loses a treasured heirloom in a card game to witchy sister-in-law Lady Kinsclere (Prunella Scales), she decides to disguise herself as a highwayman and steal the jewelry back. Barbara realizes that she finds great excitement as a robber and decides to continue her career, meeting up with the notorious Jerry Jackson (Alan Bates) ... This is not quite a black comedy version of the original, but it does border on the burlesque, especially with the portrayal of Dunaway during one part of her campaign to come off like a drag queen having a Hideous Hair Day. There is no subtlety whatsoever to Dunaway's performance, but then no one comes off that well under Michael Winner's direction, despite some of the noted players. Barber makes little impression as Caroline, and even the great John Gielgud as the pious servant Hogarth can't hold a candle to Felix Aylmer in the original. It's hard to believe that Caroline would prefer Ralph as portrayed by Elliott over Kit Locksby (Oliver Tobias). That being said, The Wicked Lady retains its great story and those who are unfamiliar with the Margaret Lockwood-James Mason version may at least find it entertaining. This is almost a scene-by-scene remake but it adds a kinky, gratuitous cat fight between Barbara and Jackson's girlfriend (Marina Sirtis), with the former taking a whip to the latter's naked breasts at a public hanging. Alan Bates [Georgy Girl] does what he can with the Jackson role, but he hasn't that perfect style of Mason. Dunaway is almost photographed as badly in this as she was in The Eyes of Laura Mars.

Verdict: Unless you like seeing bare breasts being whipped, skip this and stick with the far superior original. **1/2 out of 4.

ONE MILLION YEARS B.C.

Tumak (John Richardson) kills an allosaurus

ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. (1966). Director: Don Chaffey.

In this color remake of One Million B.C., which uses the same story more or less, Tumak (John Richardson) is thrown out of his prehistoric rock tribe and wanders around until he encounters Loana (Raquel Welch) and her tribe, the shell people. The shell people are a kinder, gentler tribe who could teach the rock people a thing or two, which they try to do with Tumak when they all go fishing with spears. The first "dinosaur" we encounter is a positively gargantuan real-life lizard who tries to make a snack out of Tumak, and then there's a giant stop-motion turtle that fails to impress. But FX wizard Ray Harryhausen really gets into his stuff with an attack on the shell people's camp by a hungry allosaurus, a marvelous sequence, as well as a battle between a T-rex (or ceratosaurus, which it resembles) and a triceratops, not to mention the pterodactyl that snatches Welch off of the beach and tries to feed her to the flying monster's young'uns. Despite the big improvement in special effects work since the 1940 version, this is not as compelling as the original, with Harryhausen's stop-motion effects work being virtually the only point of interest. Martine Beswick [From Russia with Love] has a lively "cat fight" with Welch. Mario Nascimbene's "epic" if sleepy score doesn't really do that much for the movie. Photographed by Wilkie Cooper. As the lovers, Richardson [She] and Welch [Fantastic Voyage] do what they can. A Hammer-7 Arts production.

NOTE: On the imdb.com page for this movie it is listed as a "goof" that a ceratosaurus fights a triceratops when these creatures lived in different eras of the prehistoric world. Considering this movie illogically puts human beings and dinosaurs in the same time period -- not to mention Raquel Welch as a cavewoman -- that hardly seems like a legitimate complaint!

Verdict: Some lively monsters in a disappointing remake. **1/2.

POLTERGEIST (2015)

POLTERGEIST (2015). Director: Gil Kenan.

In this remake of the 1982 Poltergeist a family moves into a house that was built over a cemetery. It isn't long (less time than in the original) that strange things begin to happen, and then the little girl, Madison (Kennedi Clements), disappears into a closet and a dimension of lost souls. This version comes up with some new angles to the original film. In the 1982 version the kitchen chairs get stacked up on the table in seconds, while in this version the boy, Griffin's (Kyle Catlett), comic books get stacked up in the hallway. We get more of a view of the other-dimensional world of the dead, and there are striking images of corpses trying to force their way into our world from the child's closet. Oddly, however, the climax in this is rather abrupt and simply can't compare to the original's. The performances are okay -- Sam Rockwell [Iron Man 2] is the father, Rosemarie DeWitt is the mother, with Jared Harris as TV ghost hunter Carrigan Burke, among others -- but the picture is pretty much stolen by little Catlett, who gives a winning performance as the frightened little boy, Griffin. Ghosts or no ghosts, the parents seem even more irresponsible in not going to the police than in the 1982 version. One sequence with a drill and a terrified ghosthunter, Boyd (Nicholas Braun), nearly turns into torture porn but wisely shows restraint. Jane Adams and Susan Heyward play other psychic investigators.

Verdict: Okay, but a cut below the original. **1/2.

THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. (2015)

Henry Cavill as Solo and Armie Hammer as Illya

THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. (2015). Director: Guy Ritchie.

Back during the days of the Cold War, CIA agent Napoleon Solo (Henry Cavill) crosses figurative swords with Russian agent Illya Kuryakin (Armie Hammer) when the two are on opposite sides of a mission in which the former is helping a woman named Gaby (Alicia Vikander) get out from behind the iron curtain. Gaby is the daughter of a former Nazi scientist, Dr. Teller, who has been working on a nuclear device for an organization run by the sinister Victoria (Elizabeth Debicki). Solo, Illya and Gaby's new mission is to infiltrate Victoria's operation and find the bomb, even as the two male agents are told their respective countries must win the arms race and get their hands on a certain disc, over each other's dead bodies if necessary. The Man from U.N.C.L.E. is a refashioning of an old television series that many of today's moviegoers have never heard of or even seen. There are so many changes that you wonder why they even made the movie under this title or who the audience for the picture was supposed to be. As in several old Eurospy movies and more recent TV shows, Solo is turned into a black market criminal who is blackmailed into working for the CIA. Hugh Grant [Love Actually] plays Waverly, but the name "U.N.C.L.E." is only referred to as a codename in the final moments of the picture. Victoria's organization isn't given a name, and THRUSH, the main adversary of the heroes in the TV series, is never mentioned. There are no cameos by the stars of the series, Robert Vaughn or David McCallum. Speaking of which, Henry Cavill's [Immortals] performance as an arch, super-cool, stylish super-spy isn't bad for what it is, but the man has absolutely no charm, at least in this. Hammer is more on the mark as a different kind of Illya, but the movie is stolen by Debicki as the villainess, who makes Gervaise Ravel of the old show seem like a piker in comparison. Director Ritchie tries to make the film different and whimsical, but this approach often backfires, such as when what could have been an exciting scene on a river is muffed by the "cute" stylistics. Some of the other action sequences are okay, however. Arguably the best and most darkly comical scene in the movie involves Solo being tortured by Gaby's sadistic Uncle Rudi (Sylvester Groth), whose ultimate fate is pleasantly ironical, as is Victoria's in the film's entertaining (if rather abrupt) climax. John Mathieson's cinematography is outstanding, guaranteeing that the film looks great, but the score, a hodge podge of generally inappropriate musical cues, is terrible, with a fairly hideous theme song wailed by a female singer. If Jerry Goldsmith's terrific theme for the TV show is in there somewhere, I missed it. The women in the film are attractive, but not especially glamorous a la James Bond; in fact one could argue that most of the sexual tension in this is between the two men, (although it must be said that being a stylish clothes horse with good taste doesn't always add up to being gay, or vice versa). The script for this is somewhere between one of the really bad overly campy episodes of the old series and the much better ones of the first and fourth seasons.

Verdict: This isn't totally terrible and there are enjoyable moments and performances. Fans of the show will probably be disappointed, however. **1/2.

THE THIEF OF BAGDAD (1940)

John Justin and June Duprez

THE THIEF OF BAGDAD (1940). Directors: Michael Powell, Ludwig Berger, and others.

In this first remake of the silent film with Douglas Fairbanks, King Ahmad (John Justin) is dethroned and imprisoned by the evil usurper Jaffar (Conrad Veidt). Ahmad meets a young beggar-thief named Abu (Sabu) in jail, but the two affect an escape. The Sultan (Miles Malleson, who also wrote the screenplay), trades his daughter, the princess (June Duprez of None But the Lonely Heart) for a mechanical horse that flies. This exchange is engineered by Jaffar, who has designs on the princess, who, unfortunately for her, is in love with Ahmad. Confronted by Ahmad and Abu, Jaffur blinds the former and turns the latter into a dog. Human again, Abu encounters a gargantuan genie (Rex Ingram) who helps him steal a fabulous ruby eye from a statue guarded by an enormous and hideous spider. Ahmad gets his sight back, but only in time to face the headsman's sword. Will Abu be able to get back to Bagdad on a flying carpet in time and save the day? The Thief of Bagdad is an excellent fantasy film that boasts amazingly beautiful Technicolor, some wonderful effects work (despite some fuzzy process shots), a very creepy and almost beautiful mechanical spider, and top-notch performances from the appealing Justin and Duprez, and especially Conrad Veight. Sabu is charming as the young thief, and Rex Ingram, although he doesn't exactly sound like something out of the Arabian nights, is terrific as the frightening if personable genie/djinn. While this movie really must have been quite eye-popping in its day, it is still a very memorable and entertaining picture 75 years later. Malleson appeared in the 1959 remake of The Hound of the Baskervilles. This was the first film for John Justin, who played Dorothy Dandridge's lover in Island in the Sun, made quite a few other movies, and often appeared on the stage, including productions of Shakespeare. The Thief of Bagdad was remade again in 1961.

Verdict: Watch out for that giant Djinn! ***1/2.