COME BACK TO THE 5 AND DIME, JIMMY DEAN, JIMMY DEAN

Cher

COME BACK TO THE 5 AND DIME, JIMMY DEAN, JIMMY DEAN (1982). Director: Robert Altman.

In a small town in Texas twenty years have gone by since the last meeting of a James Dean fan club in 1955, the year of Dean's death. Incredibly, several of these "disciples" come back to the Woolworth "5 and Dime" store, where the members used to congregate, for a 20th anniversary reunion. Two of the members -- big-boobed Sissy (Cher) and decidedly weird Mona (Sandy Dennis), who supposedly has a son fathered by Dean -- never left town and still work for Juanita (Sudie Bond) at the store. Then there's big brassy Stella Mae (Kathy Bates of Misery), sweetly naive Edna Louise (Marta Heflin), and a newcomer, Joanne (Karen Black), who knows everyone and claims she was once a member of the group -- but no one remembers her. As the day progresses, the ladies share revelations and bear their souls.

Kathy Bates with Karen Black in the background

Originally presented on stage with (mostly) the same cast, and with Altman as director, the play had its fans -- primarily due to the presence of Cher and perhaps its camp/transgender factor -- but was not a big hit with the critics, finding it awfully contrived and sitcom-like, which it is. As with the stage production, Altman decided to use the same actors playing themselves twenty years earlier in sometimes poorly delineated flashbacks, and it not only doesn't work but just confuses the viewer. The frequent jumps in time eventually become tiresome. But while the play and movie, both written by Ed Graczyk, have some interesting elements to them, the story ultimately comes off more like a stunt than serious theater. The film never quite makes up its mind if it's a drama or a black comedy. The dialogue doesn't come naturally from the situations, but seems forced just so each character can have her big moment

Settling scores: Karen Black

Then there's the acting, which is frequently over-rehearsed (understandably) and over-emphatic. Cher was originally supposed to play a transsexual character, but decided she'd rather play Sissy (ironic that her daughter became a trans man years later). She is okay, but it's not much of a stretch from what she used to do in sketches on The Sonny and Cher Show. Sandy Dennis is somewhat good as that ultimate loser, Mona, but she's a positive riot of pauses, tics, nervousness, and grotesque facial expressions. Mona manages to get over her own mortification rather quickly. Karen Black [Invaders from Mars] comes off the best as Joanne, who has come to town to settle a few scores, and she has quite a few bravura moments. Kathy Bates is also quite good, as are Sudie Bond, Marta Helfin and Mark Patton [A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge] as Joe, the one male member of the Disciples, whose character manages to run virtually the entire LGBT gamut before the play is over.

I believe the play is meant to be liberal and kind-hearted, and it can be appreciated on that level, but I think some of the same elements could have been reworked into something with a stronger premise and more interesting situations and characters.

Verdict: It is not true that a remake with Caitlyn Jenner is now in pre-production. **1/2. 

INVADERS FROM MARS

The Supreme Martian Intelligence -- no wonder the martians lose!

INVADERS FROM MARS (1986). Director: Tobe Hooper.

"They're huge, ugly ... Mr. Potato-heads." -- David.

David Gardner (Hunter Carson) sees a spaceship land in the sand dunes past his back yard, but can't get anyone to believe him. His parents (Timothy Bottoms and Laraine Newman) seem to have been taken over by alien mentalities, along with stern teacher Mrs. McKeitch (Louise Fletcher), but a sympathetic school nurse named Linda (Karen Black of Trilogy of Terror) teams up with David to find out what's going on in the sand dunes. There are very large, ugly martians whose bodies are basically big heads with teeth on weird legs, stalking around underground, all lorded over by a "Supreme Martian Intelligence" who seems all brain. Will Linda and David be able to convince the military that there is danger afoot? This remake of the 1950's Invaders from Mars can't quite seem to make up its mind whether it's a parody or just a whimsical sci fi flick seen, like the original, through a child's eyes. This version has much better FX than the original (with elaborate Alien-influenced sets) and much more action as well. A nice touch is that there is that same winding fence leading into the sand dunes as in the original. A highlight -- if that's the word -- is when one of the aliens makes a snack out of Louise Fletcher [Exorcist II: The Heretic] and devours her practically in one gulp! I didn't spot Jimmy Hunt, who was the kid in the original, but he plays a police chief. The performances are all okay for the most part.

Verdict: Slightly more entertaining than the original. **1/2.

THE OUTFIT

Tom Reese and Duvall with Karen Black in the background

THE OUTFIT (1973). Director: John Flynn.

Earl Macklin (Robert Duvall) gets out of prison to discover that his brother was murdered. It seems the two of them knocked off a bank that was owned by the crime cartel, the "Outfit." Macklin decides to pay back and wage war on the Outfit by carrying out heists -- with his pal, Jack (Joe Don Baker) -- that will hit the Outfit where they live. His main antagonist is Outfit bigwig Mailer (Robert Ryan), who lives in a big mansion with bodyguards and has a fairly disinterested wife (Joanna Cassidy). The Outfit is loosely based on the third "Parker" novel by Richard Stark (Donald Westlake), a series of books in which a career criminal is the protagonist. [Another Parker adaptation was The Split.] Frankly, the book is much more entertaining than this indifferently directed "thriller" in which only Robert Ryan gives an especially memorable performance. Baker isn't bad, Karen Black [Trilogy of Terror] has her moments as Macklin's girl, and Duvall is Duvall. Sheree North [Mardi Gras] also has some flavorful moments as the wife of an associate, but Jane Greer isn't very good as Macklin's sister-in-law. Richard Jaeckal, Marie Windsor, and Henry Jones aren't on screen long enough to register much but are all effective. John Flynn also directed The Sergeant.

Verdict: Indifferent adaptation of a gritty Parker novel. **.

TRILOGY OF TERROR

Karen Black and He-Who-Kills

TRILOGY OF TERROR (1975 telefilm). Director: Dan Curtis.

This made-for-TV horror anthology features Karen Black in three stories and several different roles. In "Julie," scripted by William F. Nolan from a Richard Matheson story, a student turns a teacher into a sex slave via blackmail, but which of them is really evil? "Millicent and Therese," (also Nolan from Matheson) deals with prim Millicent and her sexy sister; one woman with a dual personality. "Amelia," which Matheson scripted from his story "Prey," presents a woman with both boyfriend and mother troubles whose life gets worse when she gets a fetish doll that comes to life and attacks her. While this is the best -- and best remembered -- of the episodes, it almost plays like a parody, and the noises made by the doll are rather comical. In other words: lively but silly. Karen Black is quite good in all of the segments. Trilogy of Terror II was made for cable 21 years later.

Verdict: Okay, but where's the terror? **1/2.

THE DAY OF THE LOCUST

The movie premiere that climaxes Locust

THE DAY OF THE LOCUST (1975). Director: John Schlesinger.

"I could only let a fabulously rich man love me. I could only love a man criminally handsome. Please try to understand."

In Hollywood of the 1930's, artist Tod Hackett (William Atherton) lives in the same complex with aspiring star Faye Greener (Karen Black) and her father, an old-time performer named Harry (Burgess Meredith). Although Tod is very drawn to Faye, she wants a man with money, and winds up sexlessly cohabiting with the somewhat strange but wealthy Homer Simpson (Donald Sutherland). There is a nasty-minded midget (Billy Barty) and a bratty Shirley Temple clone (actually played by the male Jackie Earle Haley), as well as two guys who run cockfights out of Homer's garage. After two hours of meandering, the film arrives at a climax at a movie premiere that seems intended to wake the benumbed audience out of their lethargy but is too little, too late. When The Day of the Locust was released, it was overpraised in some quarters because of the admittedly vivid climactic riot and a "daring" scene of a child being stomped to death, which fooled people into thinking this piece of treacle was more adult and "meaningful" than it really was. Time has, unfortunately, not made the movie any better. Karen Black probably gives her all-time worst performance, so irritating is she that she almost sinks the movie right from the first, and Burgess Meredith isn't that much better. Atherton isn't bad at all, but Sutherland gives the best performance as Homer. Barty can do nothing to make his character less of a caricature, but Haley in drag is certainly vivid and memorable. Still, the movie presents unpleasant, and worse, uninteresting characters that you simply don't care about. Natalie Schafer, Nita Talbot, and William Castle [as a director] have small roles, as does Geraldine Page as an evangelist. A scene when a set collapses is well done from a technical standpoint. This was based on a novel by Nathaniel West; I don't know how faithful Waldo Salt's screenplay is to the source material, but it's pretty bad. The absolutely most disgusting scene shows poor Billy Barty kissing a rooster on its bloody beak. Dick Powell Jr., plays his father at the premiere-within-the-movie, which explains why he looks so much like the actor. Although Schlesinger was considered a "serious" director as, say, compared to Robert Aldrich, this movie is in reality little better than Aldrich's atrocious Legend of Lylah Clare! This is almost as bad as Schlesinger's Darling.

Verdict: Just a mess -- and boring to boot! **.