BODY OF EVIDENCE

Madonna

BODY OF EVIDENCE (1993.) Director: Uli Edel.

Rebecca Carlson (Madonna of Die Another Day) enjoys kinky sex with her elderly lover, Andrew (Michael Forest). When he dies, cocaine is not only found in his system, but in a nasal spray by the bed, and an autopsy confirms that the combination of the coke and his bad heart led to his death. Rebecca is put on trial for first degree murder with Frank Dulaney (Willem Dafoe of American Psycho) as her lawyer, and Robert Garrett (Joe Mantagna) as the prosecutor. Predictably, Rebecca initiates Frank -- who is married to Sharon (Julianne Moore) -- into some mild "bondage and discipline" sex. Meanwhile other suspects emerge during the trial, including Andrew's ex-lover and secretary, Joanne (Anne Archer), and Rebecca's ex-lovers, Dr. Paley (Jurgen Prochnow) and Jeffrey Roston (Frank Langella). It seems she had a habit of bedding older men with heart conditions and big bank accounts. But did Rebecca murder Andrew or not, and what will the verdict be? It would be easy to pick apart Body of Evidence (which was pretty much excoriated when it first came out), but despite its flaws, I found the movie suspenseful and entertaining. As the very bad girl, Madonna gives a competent performance, but it has no shadings; Mantagna, Dafoe and others are far superior. The protracted sex scenes in the movie will either stimulate or nauseate the viewer depending on whether or not you find Madonna and Dafoe especially attractive (I don't), but they seem to go on forever. One sequence could be described as borderline rape. Rebecca's home and gallery is so large and luxurious that one wonders why she needs anyone else's money (mortgages, perhaps). Michael Forest  [The Money Jungle], the tall, handsome. well-built actor who had numerous film and TV roles in the sixties and who played Adonis on Star Trek, has no lines but simply plays Andrew as a corpse. The film is well-directed by Uli Edel, and looks good as well. Frank Langella again plays an apparently bisexual character as he did in Diary of a Mad Housewife.

Verdict: No Paradine Case, certainly, but on its own terms, a fun junk movie that often resembles softcore porn. ***.

MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS (2017)

Kenneth Branagh as Hercule Poirot

MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS (2017).

Traveling on the Orient Express in 1934, famous detective Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branagh) learns that a man has been murdered and is asked to investigate by his old friend Bouc (Tom Bateman), a representative of the train line. As Poirot interviews the other passengers, he slowly discovers that many of them had some connection to the victim, a man named Rachet, who was really the notorious kidnapper, Casetti (Johnny Depp). As Poirot discovers the many secrets of the numerous suspects, he finds himself with a moral dilemma. I was a bit taken aback when I first heard of this film, but I must say that I was pleasantly surprised when I finally saw it. Although he may not be quite as convincing as David Suchet or Albert Finney in the first version, Branagh is much better as the Belgian detective than anticipated. Unlike Christie's creation -- and for better or worse -- Branagh makes a more "virile" Poirot, and has him mooning over the photograph of a lost love as if to prove his heterosexuality (Poirot was never gay in any case). The movie is also superior to the 1974 version, with better performances from the supporting cast and a more serious tone. Michael Green's screenplay intelligently "opens up" the film in small ways, and the plot doesn't seem quite so far-fetched. Depp is excellent as the racketeer, and there are also notable turns from Michelle Pfieffer as Mrs. Hubbard (she is much better than Lauren Bacall in the original); Derek Jacobi as a nervous manservant; Willem Dafoe as a Pinkerton detective; and Judi Dench as the formidable Princess Dragomiroff. Of the younger players, Josh Gad makes an impression as McQueen, the dead man's secretary, as do Daisy Ridley [Star Wars Part VII] as Mary Debenham and Leslie Odom Jr. as Dr. Arbuthnot. Arbuthnot was not a black character in Christie's novel -- this film is generally faithful to it -- but that does not present a problem, except that at one point the positively drawn character seems to become quite negative. Patrick Doyle's [Thor] score lacks the suspense and tension that a mystery requires, but in the final quarter it does add some depth and somberness to the proceedings. "Never Forget," which we hear over the closing credits, is a pretty song that is very nicely warbled by Michell Pfeiffer, who proved she could sing long ago in Grease 2.

Agatha Christie was still alive when the first version of this story came out. While she admired Finney, she did not admire his mustache, which was nowhere near as "magnificent" (at least in Poirot's opinion)  as it was supposed to be. Love it or hate it, Branagh's mustache would probably have pleased Christie. This movie was absolutely hated by many people -- who thought they fiddled unnecessarily with a "masterpiece" -- but as much as I love Christie's work, I don't consider the novel to be a "masterpiece" nor the first film version, either.

Verdict: Unevenly directed perhaps, but still the best version of this venerable old story. Makes me look forward to Branagh's version of Death on the Nile. ***.

THE WALKER

THE WALKER (2007). Writer/director: Paul Schrader.

Carter Page (Woody Harrelson) is the third in a line of powerful politicians, but he himself is on the outskirts: as a "walker" in Washington D.C. he escorts the wives of important men to social functions and art events that the husband would rather not be bothered with. When one of these lady friends, Lynn (Kristin Scott Thomas), finds her lover butchered in his apartment, Carter is importuned to say that he found the body, and therefore becomes embroiled in scandal and mystery. The Walker certainly has an interesting cast --  Lauren Bacall and Lily Tomlin [Shadows and Fog] are two of the other ladies that Carter knows -- and the premise is an intriguing one, but while the movie is entertaining, it doesn't quite cut it. Having a gay man as the lead character is a step in the right direction, but Schrader won't let Carter be entirely comfortable with his lifestyle, and even adds a wistful postscript involving one of the ladies that almost gives the movie a homophobic subtext. But a bigger problem is that this is, in part, a thriller, and the basic plot is not that original or involving. Carter is an interesting character, however, and Harrelson gives a very good performance, even if at times he seems to be channeling his inner Liberace. Scott Thomas [Mission: Impossible] is also splendid, as is Ned Beatty as Tomlin's husband. Willem Dafoe [Daybreakers] plays Scott Thomas' husband in a brief bit, and Moritz Bleibtreu scores as Carter's sometime boyfriend, Emek.

Verdict: This might have been better if Schrader hadn't written the script. **1/2.

JOHN CARTER

Taylor Kitsch [sic] as John Carter.

JOHN CARTER (aka John Carter of Mars/2012). Director: Andrew Stanton. Disney Studio.

Civil War vet John Carter (the unfortunately named Taylor Kitsch), looking for gold in a cave, touches a medallion that transports his essence millions of miles through space to Barsoom, the planet that we call Mars. Due to his ability to jump vast distances because of the difference in gravity, Carter is sort of adopted by the six-limbed warrior race, the Tharks, especially Tars Tarkas (voice of Willem Dafoe) and the kind-hearted Sola (voice of Samantha Morton), who turns out to be Tarkas' daughter. There is also a red-skinned human race which lives in the city of Helium, including Princess Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins), who wants to turn the Tharks into allies. However, the princess has been betrothed to a man she doesn't love by her father for political reasons, not knowing that she and Helium are only to be betrayed. To the rescue comes John Carter and the Tharks on flying machines.

John Carter is based on Edgar Rice Burrough's novel, the first in the Mars series, "A Princess of Mars." On the plus side John Carter has impressive special effects, scenic design and beautiful settings. Even people who have read the books may find the story confusing at times [audience members unfamiliar with the books and John Carter may wonder what the hell they've wandered into], and the action scenes are a bit too cluttered and busy to be fully thrilling and satisfying. Somehow the whole picture, despite it's eye-popping aspects, just lacks that certain punch. [Director Andrew Stanton previously directed only animated films, and while there is a lot of computer animation in this film, there are also live-action scenes that are not nearly as well done.] Kitsch is an okay actor and makes a fairly sexy Carter, but his approach to the 19th century character is much too 21st century. Lynn Collins, while not beautiful in the conventional sense, is attractive and more on the mark as Dejah Thoris; Dafoe and Morton are also excellent. There is an unnecessary framing device with Edgar Rice Burroughs as Carter's nephew on Earth, and tedious opening sections involving Apaches and the Army. Carter does a little too much jumping around, as if he were a super-hero, and the Heliumites are nearly disfigured by ugly facial tattoos. An added plus is lovable Woola, the great big Martian dog and companion who is assigned to Carter and is always faithfully by his side. A problem with the film is that it tries too hard to be a big epic when Burroughs' entertaining novels were basically pulp fiction and nothing more. The pure storytelling in the books is superior to what Disney's 250 million dollars put on the screen. Both Kitsch and Collins were in X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

Verdict: Not a mega-bomb by any means, but not all it could have been. **1/2.

ANAMORPH

ANAMORPH (2007). Director/co-writer: Henry Miller.

New York City detective Stan Aubray (Willem Dafoe) and his sexy new partner Carl (Scott Speedman) investigate when a serial killer starts using the corpses of his victims as art, painting and posing them in specific, generally grotesque tableaus and then cluing the cops in to where they should stand to get the best "appreciation" of his ghastly projects. This aspect of this fair-to-middling serial killer thriller [with few real thrills] is intriguing, although nowadays it's the sort of thing you see every week on CSI and Criminal Minds. The movie is not badly acted, but it's no great surprise that it was released direct-to-video. James Rebhorn is the police chief, and Deborah Harry, formerly of the rock group Blondie, shows up briefly as an unnamed ":neighbor."

Verdict: Good ideas don't always make great movies. **.