Lively, entertaining reviews of, and essays on, old and newer films and everything relating to them, written by professional author William Schoell.

Thursday, February 20, 2020

FILMS I JUST COULDN'T FINISH ROUND 4

FILMS I JUST COULDN'T FINISH ROUND FOUR. 

As noted previously, these are not reviews, per se, but notes on films that I watched or suffered through until I just gave up on them for one reason or another. Sometimes I skipped to different sections just to get a sense of what was going on or to see if the film became more entertaining. Not all of these pictures are necessarily bad, they just didn't hold my attention. If you see one on the list that you think deserves another look, let me know.

Meet Mr. Callaghan (1954) is a British private eye movie about the murder of a wealthy man with four nephews and other suspects. The main character and lead actor are both rather irritating in their way, and the movie is full of cliches. I couldn't care less who the murderer was.

Sodom and Gomorrah (1962), which was directed by Robert Aldrich,  actually did not necessarily seem like a bad biblical spectacle of sorts, but I didn't care for the cast, which included Stewart Granger and a lot of actors whom I didn't find that interesting. This is an international co-production, not a Hollywood film, the reason why the cast is not exactly stellar. It all seemed a little tacky as well, just not something I wanted to spend another hour and a half on.

The Weekend Murders (1970) is actually a dubbed Italian film originally entitled Concerto per pistola solista. It is a take-off on an Agatha Christie-type British manor mystery with a reading of a will and (off-screen) murders occurring afterward. Comedy is provided by a Scotland Yard Inspector and a country sergeant who proves smarter than his superior. I actually watched most of this but it's rather slow and silly and eventually I just skipped to the end to find out who the killer was. The film's "composer," Franceso de Masi, has the temerity to rip off Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto # 1 for the theme music, which one hopes was deliberate. The picture has no style and is not memorable.

Innocent Bystanders (1972) is a late-entry spy saga starring Stanley Baker as an aging operative who is sent on assignment by Donald Pleasence, but isn't apprised of all of the facts. I found the "mod"-like style of the film to be off-putting, and couldn't quite get through a quarter of it.

Screamers (1979) is a dubbed Italian film with Richard Johnson and Barbara Bach hoping to get treasure that is guarded by some mutated Atlanteans who have become half man and half fish. The prologue in a cave with Cameron Mitchell and Mel Ferrer has some gory moments and appears to be added afterward. In the main story Joseph Cotten plays a scientist who wants to study the fish-men. This is slow and unrewarding and isn't really a horror film at all.

Frances (1982) stars Jessica Lange in a very heavily fictionalized version of the life of actress Frances Farmer based on a biography that was later largely discredited. I didn't just turn this off after a time because I knew I wasn't going to get the real story -- Sam Shepard saunters through the movie and narrates even though his character never actually existed -- but the dramatic license at times becomes ludicrous, illogical and even outlandish. For the record Farmer was never lobotomized as this film depicts!

The Human Stain (2003) didn't hold my attention even though it actually has some interesting aspects in this study of an academic (Anthony Hopkins and Wentworth Miller in different time periods) who has hid the fact that he's African-American for virtually all of his adult life. (Ironically, he quits his job when he's accused of racism.) Based on a novel by Philip Roth (The Humbling) we have yet another old man in an improbable relationship with a much younger woman (Nicole Kidman). Both Hopkins and Kidman are miscast, and the film meanders a little too much, although Miller (bi-racial in real life) gives a very good performance.

Masks (2011) is a German-language version of an Italian giallo film, or at least that's what its proponents say it is. About a young lady who comes to study at a strange acting school, the movie is slow and dull despite the occasional bloody sword attack. Comparing it to the (best) work of Dario Argento is ridiculous. This had trouble holding my attention for more than a third.

Camp Dread (2014) is a pretty terrible film about a down-on-his-luck horror film maker (the down-on-his-luck Eric Roberts) who concocts a scheme to use troubled youths on a reality show that will ultimately turn into something like one of his horror movies. Then the youths begin getting killed. The film hasn't a dollop of atmosphere and some of the actors are amateurish to boot. Not compelling nor well-made enough to keep watching.

Suspiria (2018) is a remake of a much better film by Dario Argento centering on a coven of witches in a dance studio. The remake takes place in post WW2 Berlin, and in an attempt to add some depth and pathos to the story, drags in the events of the holocaust. The movie is long but the real problem is that it just didn't grip me or pull me into the story the way that Argento did. If they had stuck to making a simple and effective horror film this might have amounted to something. Tilda Swinton is quite good -- amazing, in fact -- in a dual role. I got about halfway through this and then peeked at subsequent sequences, some of which seemed so silly as to be laughable. Jessica Harper, the lead in the original Suspiria, has a cameo role.

Book Club (2018) has four friends -- Jane Fonda, Diane Keaton, Candice Bergen and Mary Steenburgen -- reading "Fifty Shades of Gray" for their book club and having assorted misadventures with men. Okay, for awhile this was cute, but it seemed too much like an extended ad for "Fifty Shades" (I wouldn't be surprised if the book's publisher is a division of the production company.) Too much like a sitcom, the humor is of the variety of friends getting together and making jokes about sex, the same stuff you can hear in any bar. This wasn't terrible, it just didn't hold my interest for more than half an hour. I was surprised that for a film supposedly against age discrimination, it portrays the very elderly in the same disdainful light as everything else.

Other films that failed to grip me: Hootenanny a-Go-Go; A Swingin; Summer; Gidget Goes to Rome; Every Day's a Holiday with Freddie and the Dreamers; Tough Kid; Racing Blood with Frankie Darro; Juvenile Court with Rita Hayworth; Wild Racers with Fabian; Promises, Promises with Jayne Mansfield, Maid for Murder; Hollywood Dreams; This Man is Dangerous; Adventures of a Private Eye; A Yank in Ermine; Badge of Honor with Buster Crabbe; Girl Loves Boy with Eric Linden; the eurospy flick 13 Days to Die; Doorway to Suspicion; Tale of Five Cities/Women starring Bonar Colleano; The Final Countdown with Kirk Douglas in bangs; and Master Stroke, a caper movie. 

2 comments:

angelman66 said...

Love these peeks into your viewings, Bill, and agree with most that I have tried to watch. But must defend the Jane Fonda Diane Keaton, it was cute if mild, and actually liked the Suspiria remake more than I thought I would ( but of course prefer the Argentine original!)
Have a great week!!
- Chris

William said...

You, too, Chris. As always, thanks for your comments!