DIAMOND HEAD

Yvette Mimieux, Elizabeth Allen, Charlton Heston

DIAMOND HEAD (1962). Director: Guy Green.

Widower King Howland (Charlton Heston) is a wealthy land owner in Hawaii who lives with his sister-in-law, Laura (Elizabeth Allen of Donovan's Reef), and his younger sister, Sloane (Yvette Mimieux of The Time Machine). Sloane is in love with an islander named Paul (James Darren), who returns her feelings, but neither King nor Laura approve of the marriage. "We've never mixed blood," King says, as he tries to enlist Paul's half-brother, Dean (George Chakiris) in breaking up the romance. Dean may have reservations about the union, but he will not speak out against it, although his mother (Aline MacMahon of Babbitt) feels mixed marriages will dilute the Hawaiian minority. Complicating the whole situation is that the hypocritical King is having an affair with an Asian woman (France Nuyen) who is going to have his child. At a party to celebrate the upcoming nuptials between Sloane and Paul, a tragedy occurs ... 

Heston

Diamond Head may take advantage of some gorgeous scenery, but its dramatic value is somewhat lacking. The admirable attempts to denounce racism are half-hearted, especially when you consider that the three main "Hawaiian" roles -- Jimmy, Dean, and their mother -- are played by Caucasian actors. Heston displays his usual charisma, and  his performance is perfectly competent but unmemorable. Elizabeth Allen is okay in the thankless role of the sister-in-law secretly in love with her late sister's widower. Chakiris and MacMahon -- and to a lesser extent Darren -- are notable, and Mimieux gives a fairly strong and sensitive performance, as does Nuyen -- perhaps the best in the picture. Harold Fong makes an impression as King's major domo, Koyama, and Marc Marno is vivid as Nuyen's sleazy brother, Bobby. 

A sub-plot has to do with King planning to run for the state senate, and there are also a couple of obvious hints of his incestuous feelings for his sister. That being said, the movie has an absolutely horrible ending which I believe was tacked on by someone who let their common sense run away with them. 

Verdict: You might have a better time watching reruns of Hawaiian Eye. **1/2. 

HOLD BACK TOMORROW

John Agar and Cleo Moore

HOLD BACK TOMORROW (1955). Written, produced and directed by Hugo Haas. 

In an unspecified foreign country, a former hooker, Dora (Cleo Moore), is saved from drowning herself on the very eve that a prisoner named Joe Cardos (John Agar) -- who murdered three people -- is to be executed. Joe wants company for his final request, and since Dora needs money -- or hopes that Joe will strangle her -- she agrees to entertain him in his cell. Joe proves to be grumpy and hostile, and Dora is not certain she even wants to bother trying to make friends with him. But somehow these two dysfunctional individuals manage to form an unlikely romantic attachment to one another (sexual, maybe) ...

Even on Death Row Agar looks great!

Let me make it clear that I can hardly call the utterly-contrived Hold Back Tomorrow a good movie, but it also isn't worthless. Although I can't quite say that Agar is outstanding, he probably gives his best performance in this movie and gets his character across quite well. In her career Moore has rarely risen above mediocrity -- it's almost comical when she says "I haven't eaten for days" but is completely unable to get this across in her acting -- but she is also much better in this film than in others, possibly because her co-star was giving it his all. Agar also looks handsomer than usual.

Beautiful when wet: Cleo Moore

Haas' screenplay is a bit nutty and naive but it does have some good dialogue going for it. Although two of the people Joe strangled may have been rotters, there is virtually no mention of the innocent guard he shot during a robbery (the crime that first got him incarcerated) as this might have made him even less sympathetic. Of course Haas could have created more sympathy for Joe if he'd had him expressing some remorse for the dead man and his family. Joe blames everyone else for his misdeeds, and dopey Dora -- not the brightest bulb in the chandelier by any means, although she's certainly smarter and nicer than Joe -- goes right along with it, swallowing every word. 

Moore and Agar look to the heavens

I won't give away the ending except to say that I find it unlikely that Joe and Dora would ever have really made it as a couple. Whatever their struggles or problems early in life, one can tell that neither have the wherewithal to make much of anything work for them. One of the most amusing aspects of the flick is that Frank DeKova, of all people, plays the prison priest! Harry Guardino has an early role as a cop. The title tune for the picture is rather pleasant. Haas also teamed Moore and Agar up for his earlier film Bait, which is even worse than this! 

Verdict: Certainly an interesting idea and a truly odd romance, but the movie is half-baked and not really credible despite some decent performances. I didn't find it remotely moving. At least it is not an anti-capital punishment polemic. **.  

QUEEN BEE

Joan as Eva Phillips

QUEEN BEE (1955). Written and directed by Ranald MacDougall. Colorized version.      

"Really that Dr. Pearson is absurd. He actually trembles when he talks to me. You'd think he'd never seen a beautiful woman before." -- Eva. 

Although dating Jud Prentiss (John Ireland of The Ceremony), the Yankee Eva (Joan Crawford) sets her cap for Jud's boss, Avery Phillips (Barry Sullivan of Pyro), a wealthy Southern gentleman, and follows him home. Eva lies and tells Avery that she's pregnant, and the "gentleman" literally leaves his fiancee, Sue (Fay Wray), at the church door to run off with Eva. Years later the two are trapped in a miserable, dysfunctional marriage with Avery spending most of his time in his bedroom getting drunk. Ironically, Avery is nicknamed "Beauty" but now has a large scar on his face due to a drunken driving accident. Meanwhile the aforementioned Jud has fallen for Avery's sister, Carol (Betsy Palmer), who positively loathes Eva. Into this miasma of Southern rage and scandal comes Eva's sweet cousin, Jennifer (Lucy Marlow of He Laughed Last), who is moving into the mansion completely unaware of the goings-on. When Eva, who never lets go of a man, finds out that Jud and Carol are engaged, things in the household will get even tenser, if such is possible ... 

Mrs. Vorhees meets Lucy Harbin

Queen Bee is certainly not a perfect movie, but it is a strangely compelling melodrama with a lot going on in the background. Joan Crawford dominates the picture, of course, as she should, and gives a highly effective performance as a rather nasty character who admits what she is but still can't help making excuses for her behavior. If you don't quite believe her when she's showing vulnerability, it's because you can't quite imagine Eva ever being vulnerable in any real sense, although she is not above playing on people's sympathies. 

Cocktails and savagery at the Phillips

As for the rest of the cast, Betsy Palmer stands out as Carol, standing up to Eva/Joan on occasion even as you realize she is just no match for her strong-willed, highly neurotic sister-in-law. Lucy Marlow, with her odd square face, has a couple of unconvincing moments but is basically solid as the ultimately disillusioned Jennifer. (You're not quite certain how or why she falls for the dissolute Avery, and any actress might have a hard time making that convincing.) Fay Wray has one scene as Sue, the jilted fiancee, who seems to have lost herself in never-got-over-it vagueness. Wray is good, but it's hard to imagine that she would ever want anything to do with this couple, let alone have cocktails with them in their drawing room. 

Barry Sullivan with Crawford

The men don't fare as well. John Ireland and Barry Sullivan give rather stilted, rushed line readings as compared to the ladies. William Leslie makes an impression, however, as the handsome and charming Ty, and Jennifer seems demented in preferring Avery, on the verge of cirrhosis of the liver, over this hunk. Katherine Anderson is suitably hard and unpleasant as the nurse who takes pleasure in being nasty to the little boy (Tim Hovey) who suffers nightmares, until the little guy knows "how [the nightmare] ends" at the violent climax. Hovey is as adorable and adept as ever. (A sobering postscript is that the fellow committed suicide at only 44.) Willa Pearl Curtis, as a maid, has a nice vignette when she expresses sympathy to Jennifer over being dumped and muses about her own romantic missteps. Years later Crawford and Palmer both played deranged murderesses, Crawford in Strait-Jacket (at the opening) and Palmer in Friday the 13th. Handsomely shot by Charles Lang. 

Verdict: Crawford in a compelling portrait of a woman who deservedly hates herself. ***. 

SPLIT SECOND

Alexis Smith, Paul Kelly, Stephen McNally 

SPLIT SECOND (1953). Director: Dick Powell. Colorized version. 

Sam Hurley (Stephen McNally) has broken out of prison with his buddies, Bart (Paul Kelly) and Dummy (Frank DeKova), and are hoping to retrieve some loot from an armored car robbery. Hurley commandeers a car driven by Ashton (Robert Paige) and his lover, Kay (Alexis Smith), and when that runs out of gas, takes over a vehicle driven by reporter Larry (Keith Andes) and hitchhiker Dottie (Jan Sterling). Sam takes the whole group to a ghost town in the desert, even though everyone knows that the following morning an atom bomb being tested will go off and decimate the place! Before they can get out of there, Hurley calls Kay's estranged husband, Dr. Garven (Richard Egan), and tells him to fly down and take a bullet out of Bart or else Kay will die. 

Richard Egan comforts Alexis Smith

Now right there you can see the problem. Even if Garven is still in love with the wife who is divorcing him, it seems ridiculous and unreasonable for him to take so much time getting to Bart instead of telling the police exactly where he is! Surely the cops would have a better chance of rescuing Kay and the others than Garven! Split Second  may be fast-paced, but it's not so fast that the audience won't be scratching their heads over this ludicrous plot hole. Garven has hours during which he can contact the authorities. Frankly, things get a little tiresome in that ghost town before things heat up for the climax. Another weird scene is when Ashton practically seems to be begging Sam to shoot him, and Bart's sudden character reversal is senseless as well, even though it's made clear early on that Bart is not the mad killer type like his friend Hurley..

Stephen McNally

Stephen McNally gives another sharp and dynamic performance as Sam, always convincing whether he's snarling at his captors, shouting orders, or romancing the ladies, one of whom goes along with his addressals for her own protection. The other performances are all good as well, with Smith having the showiest role. The climax is terrific, although the writers seem not to have considered the possible effects of radiation poisoning. Dick Powell directed this and generally keeps things moving, although Hitchcock had nothing to worry about. 

Verdict: Interesting idea that doesn't quite work. **1/2. 

SWISS MISS

The classic piano sequence

SWISS MISS (1938). Director: John G. Blystone. Colorized version. 

While composer Victor Albert (Walter Woolf King of A Night at the Opera) is in a quaint Swiss village with his assistant, Edward (Eric Blore), trying to work on his new operetta, Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy are trying to sell mousetraps -- where there's cheese, there must be mice. Along comes Victor's soprano wife, Anna (Grete Natzler aka Della Lind), the last person he wants to see because he fears he's in her shadow. Unable to pay a restaurant bill after being given worthless money, Stan and Oliver go to work for the inn, as does Anna, who figures this will keep Victor from ordering her out of town. She also figures she can be perfectly convincing as the peasant girl who is the heroine of her husband's new operetta, although he is doubtful. While all this plays out, everyone sings songs, including the most memorable, "I Can't Get Over the Alps." (Other songs, such as "The Cricket Song," are not as memorable.) 

It may not be a masterpiece, but Swiss Miss is a cute, amusing film with two major set-pieces. The first is  when Stan has a funny encounter with a Saint Bernard

Stan and the St. Bernard

whose brandy he covets (Laurel shows that he does have some brains after all). The second is the hilarious bit when the boys try to push a piano across a rope bridge that is precariously hanging over a gorge far, far below! (This tops the piano sequence in a short they did in 1932, The Music Box.) There's even, improbably, a gorilla who also figures in the funny postscript. This was the last film for Viennese actress-singer Grete Natzler, who is pretty and charming. NOTE: TCM once dared to show a 66 minute shortened version of this film without "I Can't Get Over the Alps," for shame. Sue me, I love that number!

Verdict: The boys are always great! ***.  

BEYOND THE FOREST

"What a dump!" Joseph Cotten and Bette Davis

BEYOND THE FOREST (1949). Director: King Vidor. Colorized version.

"You wear that yourself. No dead cat for me -- mink!" -- Rosa to Jenny. 

Rosa Moline (Bette Davis) lives with her doctor husband, Lewis (Joseph Cotten), in the town of Loyalton, Wisconsin. Growing older, Rosa is desperate to find a more exciting life in Chicago with businessman Neil Latimer (David Brian), with whom she is having an affair. However, Rosa's plans are stymied when she runs off to Chicago and discovers that Neil has a new fiancee. But when Neil comes back to Loyalton for a birthday party for his employee Moose (Minor Watson), Rosa realizes that she still has a chance with Neil. But Moose may throw a monkey wrench into her plans ... 

"If I don't get out of this town I'll die!"

Excoriated for years -- even Davis expressed her hatred for the picture -- Beyond the Forest has come in for reassessment and garnered new fans over the years. What the movie has going for it is Davis' vivid performance, solid supporting performances from most of the cast, fast-paced and dramatic direction from King Vidor, an evocative score by Max Steiner that makes adroit use of the song "Chicago" but also has its own compelling themes, and fine cinematography from Robert Burks. While Rosa is not exactly an admirable woman -- she is rather a pathetic figure, in fact -- Davis gets across her utter desperation, especially in a sequence when she stands by her bedroom window with the fiery smelters in the background. "If I don't get out of this town I'll die. If I don't get out of this town I hope I die."

I'm not just any woman -- I'm Rosa Moline!

Ann Doran as a woman with many children has an interesting exchange with Rosa in the post office. Doran expresses sympathy for Rosa, possibly because she herself feels a bit trapped by the small-town life she lives with half a dozen offspring to look after. "This town has been tough on Rosa," she says, to which a neighbor replies, "Rosa's been tough on the town." Vidor peppers the film with other interesting vignettes as the movie unfolds, a murder occurs, along with a decidedly unwanted pregnancy. Rosa's husband is a perfectly nice man, but he can't give Rosa what she needs and is terrible unexciting. You sense if he slapped her around she would respect him more (or kill him). 

Davis with David Brian

Dona Drake (of Kansas City Confidential)   certainly makes an impression as Jenny, the slovenly, funny maid who works for the Molines and exchanges comical barbs with Rosa, reminding her that if she fires her she, Rosa, will have to do the work. Drake also figures in the bravura climax to the picture, when a fever-wracked Rosa makes up her mind to get to the train to Chicago come Hell or high water. There's an operatic intensity to this sequence as Rosa determinedly if on unsteady legs makes her way to the train station where she meets her ultimate fate. 

Verdict: Think what you will of this, Davis saunters through this saucy film noir, a variation of Madame Bovary, with aplomb. ***. 

THE SEX SYMBOL

Connie Stevens phones her shrink

THE SEX SYMBOL (1974 telefilm). ABC Movie of the Week. Director: David Lowell Rich. NOTE: This is the expanded European version with nudity. 

Movie star Kelly Williams (Connie Stevens) has just been let go from her latest picture -- gossip maven Agatha Murphy (Shelley Winters) cackles on TV that she is through in Hollywood -- and reviews her life, marriages, and love affairs with an unseen psychiatrist. Kelly has a dalliance with Senator O'Neal (Don Murray), and marries former football star Butch Wischnewski (William Smith) and artist Calvin Bernard (James Olson). Will her pills and alcohol lifestyle eventually be Williams' undoing?

Stevens

Connie Stevens, best-known as the petulant, cloying "Cricket Blake" in Hawaiian Eye, was clearly trying to change her squeaky-clean image with this TV movie, and even bares her breasts in a couple of scenes that were added to the theatrical European version. (It's a bet ABC didn't show these!) The Sex Symbol is obviously based on the life of Marilyn Monroe -- the men in Williams' life are stand-ins for JFK, Joe DiMaggio and Arthur Miller -- but Stevens' has none of that special quality that so distinguished "the adorable one." One can't imagine "Kelley Williams" ever having the kind of career or impact that Monroe had. In fact there are times that Stevens comes off as if Philip, the social director at the Hawaiian Village Hotel on Hawaiian Eye, decided to put on the Marilyn Monroe Story for the hotel's theater and put Cricket in the part! 

James Olson

Stevens gives it the ol' college try and is not terrible, just not that impressive. Shelley Winters seems to be having fun as the gossip maven but does little to make the woman more than a complete caricature. James Olson comes off the best and gives a more than solid performance, and the scenes between him and "Kelly" are psychologically astute. Smith and Murray are fine, but it's weird to see Murray, as he co-starred with the real Monroe in one of her best films, Bus Stop. A notable performance is given by, of all people, director-producer William Castle, who proves quite adept as an actor, playing a sleazy producer. Nehemiah Persoff is another sleazy character, and Milton Selzer and Jack Carter are Kelly's agents. Madlyn Rhue plays Kelly's friend and companion.  

Stevens with William Castle

The Sex Symbol has its entertaining moments, but the scenes of Kelly's long, boozy meltdowns eventually become boring. Although Marilyn Monroe's life story played out in the fifties and sixties, The Sex Symbol seems strictly of the seventies when it was made. Stevens followed this up with a raunchy film called Scorchy, then did numerous TV guest-spots and more made-for-TV movies. Although the real Monroe only joked about putting her breasts in the cement at Grauman's Chinese Theater, Kelly Williams actually does it.

Verdict: Stick with the real thing. **1/4.

IN THE NAVY

Bud Abbott, Dick Foran, Lou Costello

IN THE NAVY (1941). Director: Arthur Lubin. Colorized version. 

Russ Raymond (Dick Powell), singing star, wants to get away from his adoring fans and become anonymous in the Navy. Reporter Dorothy Roberts (Claire Dodd of Babbitt) is determined to get a photo of him for her magazine, somehow thinking this will be a big story. (Even Elvis getting a haircut for the Army wasn't that big a story!) Russ in his new identity encounters the film's true stars, Abbott and Costello, as sailors Smoky and Pomeroy. Chubby Pomeroy thinks of Patti of the Andrews Sisters as his girlfriend, but she may not be so inclined. Everyone sings! 

The Andrews Sisters

In the Navy is an amiable if minor A&C comedy with some amusing moments and pleasant tunes that are not that memorable all told. Bud and Lou do their usual schtick and do it well. Dick Foran is fine as their slightly grouchy superior officer and Powell does his best as straight man for the boys. Claire Dodd is professional but comparatively bland as the persistent reporter. Patti Andrews displays personality to spare, and she and her two sisters sing up a harmonizing storm. The highlight of the movie is actually some splendid tap-dancing from the Condos Brothers duo. Foran and the Andrews trio also appeared together in Private Buckeroo, where Foran gets to do a lot more singing. The Andrews Sisters did a pilot for a TV sitcom in 1951 but no network picked it up. 

Verdict: The boys have done better but this has its moments. **1/2. 

THE BLACK ABBOTT (1963)

The Black Abbott on the prowl

THE BLACK ABBOTT (aka Der schwarze Abt/1963). Director: Franz Josef Gottlieb. 

Lord Harry Chelford (Dieter Borsche of Dead Eyes of London) lives on his estate -- which is reputed to be haunted by a Black-robed Abbott -- and is engaged to Leslie (Grit Boettcher), although she clearly prefers her fiance's cousin, Dick Alford (Joachim Fuchsberger). Leslie's brother, Arthur (Harry Wustenhagen), has a great deal of debts, and is taken advantage of by his employee, Fabian Gilder (Werner Peters) -- Arthur either talks his sister into marrying Gilder, or he will send Arthur to prison. In the meantime, Gilder, Mary (Eva Ingeborg Scholz) who wants Lord Chelford for herself, and others -- including the berobed abbott -- are searching the grounds of the Chelford estate for a rumored treasure of gold. Someone has already been stabbed to death -- who will be next?

Kinski with Fuchsberger

The Black Abbott is based on an old novel by Edgar Wallace which is convoluted and dull and which I never did manage to finish. This film version -- there have been several -- is almost too faithful to the story and is also convoluted and dull. Frankly, although I generally love West German krimi (crime) movies based on Edgar Wallace novels, if this had been the first one I watched I probably wouldn't have sat through the others. Fuchsberger and Peters are familiar players -- Klaus Kinski (of Web of the Spider) is also in this, playing a sinister butler with a criminal history -- and we are also plagued by the presence of the awful Eddi Arent in his usual role of police bumpkin and alleged comedy relief.  

Mismatch: Werner Peters with Grit Boettcher

The Black Abbott has some atmosphere but not much suspense despite so many different characters running around to little effect. More than one of them dress up as the Black Abbott on different occasions, although there usually isn't much sense to it. There was a British film version of the novel in the thirties, and other krimi movies were based on it afterwards (such as The College-Girl Murders in 1967), although these took a lot of liberties. If you're looking for a horror film with a sinister monk beheading people, this isn't it. What you will get instead is a tedious mystery film that fades from memory even as you're watching it. 

Verdict: Could have killed the West German Edgar Wallace sub-genre practically at the starting gate. *. 

HOLLYWOOD HIGH: A Totally Epic, Way Opinionated History of TEEN MOVIES

HOLLYWOOD HIGH: A Totally Epic, Way Opinionated History of TEEN MOVIES. Bruce Handy. Avid Reader Press/Simon and Schuster; 2025.  

Be forewarned if you're looking for a book that critiques dozens and dozens of movies about teens that came out in the fifties and sixties, this is not that book. What it is is an amusing and informative look at Hollywood's attitudes towards teenagers -- and vice versa -- from decades ago until recent days. He has a section on Andy Hardy but doesn't really analyze the various entries in that series, then quickly moves on to an in-depth analysis of Rebel Without a Cause, the Beach Party movies, and then mostly focuses on other select films such as American Graffiti, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Boyz in the Hood and more. With the exception of Graffiti, which I never especially cared for, I haven't seen or wanted to see most of the movies Handy covers. He has a whole loooong chapter on John Hughes, a filmmaker I have never had the slightest interest in. But here's the rub: Handy is such a good and entertaining writer, that he kept me turning the pages as much as if he were writing about subjects more to my liking -- he's that good. No, Handy hasn't convinced me to rush out and pick up a slew of Hughes' movies, but he does a good job of informing the reader about his subject while keeping us engaged and amused. 

Verdict: The great teen movie book has yet to be written, but this highly interesting tome is worth perusing until it is. ***.