PENELOPE

Natalie Wood

PENELOPE (1966). Director: Arthur Hiller.

Penelope (Natalie Wood) is the neglected wife of a bank president, James Elcott (Ian Bannen of Psyche 59). Apparently she has had a problem with stealing -- which gives her pleasure -- for some years, but her crowning achievement, some might say, is robbing her husband's bank on the very day it opens. Two cops -- Lt. Bixbee (Peter Falk) and Sergeant Rothschild (Bill Gunn) -- are called in to investigate, and are quickly on the trail of a blond woman with a French accent who disguised herself as an old lady and changed her clothing and wig in the ladies room. The two cops get closer and closer to Penelope, but ultimately arrest a streetwalker named Honeysuckle Rose (Arlene Golonka). Will Penelope come clean and keep this innocent woman out of jail?

Penelope in old lady drag

Penelope has its amusing moments, but as a major comedy it's a bust. Natalie Wood is cute in the picture, but her character calls more for a kookie Gracie Allen-type -- even Phyllis Diller would have been better in some ways -- and Wood doesn't really have sharp comedic skills. Ian Bannen isn't especially funny, either, but although he's initially rather off-putting, his performance is acceptable. At first Dick Shawn as Penelope's psychiatrist doesn't exactly act as if he's in a comedy, but he has his moments as well. Lila Kedrova and Lou Jacobi enliven the film a bit with their portrayal of a couple who run a dress shop. Jonathan Winters is completely wasted in a terrible flashback wherein he plays Penelope's college professor who literally tries to rape her -- even back in 1966 this sequence must have seemed utterly tasteless.

Peter Falk

Yet Penelope never quite made it onto my Films I Just Couldn't Finish list. That's because the movie is generally watchable, moves fairly quickly, and has some interesting twists to it that keep you  involved. As for the other actors, Peter Falk is fine, although one could argue that he's auditioning for his role on Columbo. Bill Gunn is a likable African-American actor who does what he can with a small if sympathetic part. Norma Crane [Night Gallery] is zesty as Elcott's ex-girlfriend, who just won't let go, and Arlene Golanka [Diary of a Bachelor] really runs with her brief portrayal of Honeysuckle. If you don't blink you'll also see adept bits by Jerome Cowan and Fritz Feld. Wood didn't make another movie for three years after this flick bombed at the box office.  

Verdict:  If the biggest laugh comes from a character's burping, you know a comedy is in trouble. **1/2.                                                                                                                                                    

PSYCHE 59

Dysfunctional marriage: Curt Jurgens and Patricia Neal

PSYCHE 59 (1964). Director: Alexander Singer.

"Someone has to stop loving somewhere along the line -- otherwise it's like committing suicide." -- Alison

"All the men I knew have either gotten married or gone queer -- what's going on in this country?" -- Robin

Alison Crawford (Patricia Neal) has been psychosomatically blind since a traumatic incident which she doesn't recall. Considering that the audience is clued in almost from the first that something went on between Alison's husband, Eric (Curt Jurgens) -- a real pig -- and her younger sister, Robin (Samantha Eggar), it doesn't take much to figure out what Alison saw. So much for suspense over the final revelation. Robin has recently broken up with her husband, so she comes to stay with Alison and Eric, something the latter isn't thrilled by -- or is he? Then there's Eric's friend, Paul (Ian Bannen of From Beyond the Grave), who is in love with Robin, and her strange mother-in-law, Mrs. Crawford (Beatrix Lehmann). If this all sounds interesting, be warned that it isn't. Despite the hysterical blindness, the infidelity and betrayal, and god knows what else, the film is actually quite boring until the last couple of minutes -- too little, too late. The acting is good but the characters are so one-dimensional that not even the performances can bring the people fully to life. Maybe Tennessee Williams could have done something with these dysfunctional individuals, or perhaps the producers should have turned it into a wild horror movie with someone -- Pat Neal, maybe? -- wielding an ax on hubby. But despite some interesting elements, this just never jells or amounts to anything but a waste of ninety minutes. It's a shame, because Neal [Diplomatic Courier] is especially fine in this, expertly delineating her character's blindness. While his character is not at all likable, Jurgens' portrayal of the husband, a virile but perhaps frightened man on the cusp of fifty, might have been made somewhat sympathetic, but the part is too under-written for that. Walter Lassally's cinematography is excellent, and there's some nice music by Kenneth V. Jones. Alexander Singer also directed A Cold Wind in August. He simply fails to imbue this film with enough dramatic tension.

Verdict: . **.

FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE (1974). Director: Kevin Connor.

This anthology, based on the work of R. Chetwynd-Hayes, features stories that are loosely tied in with an antique shop run by an elderly proprietor (Peter Cushing). The first story deals with a mirror  with a demonic inhabitant who urges the owner, Edward Charlton (David Warner) to butcher women. In the second story Christopher Lowe (Ian Bannen), a man saddled with a harridan of a wife (Diana Dors,) encounters an old fellow veteran (Donald Pleasance of You Only Live Twice), and his rather odd daughter (Angela Pleasance) who falls for him -- or so he thinks. The third story is about a man (Ian Carmichael) and his wife (Nyree Dawn Porter) who hire a medium, Madame Orloff (Margaret Leighton of The Astonished Heart), to get rid of an "elemental" that is causing havoc. The fourth and final episode, which is easily the best and most suspenseful, has a man (Ian Ogilvy of And Now the Screaming Starts) affixing an antique door to a cupboard and discovering that it now opens into a cobwebbby and sinister old room that is kept alive by human sacrifices, one of whom almost becomes his wife (Lesley-Anne Down).

Verdict: Well-produced Amicus film with some good actors and generally mediocre scripts. **1/2 out of four.