IF YOU COULD ONLY COOK

Jean Arthur and Herbert Marshall

IF YOU COULD ONLY COOK (1935). Director: William A. Seiter.

Jim Buchanan (Herbert Marshall) is engaged to Evelyn Fletcher (Freida Inescort), whose chief interest in him seems to be his money. One afternoon in the park Jim encounters job-hungry Joan (Jean Arthur), who assumes he's out of work and importunes him to go with her to answer an ad for cook and butler in the mansion of gangster Mike Rossini (Leo Carrillo of Horror Island). Smitten with the refreshingly sweet and honest Joan, Jim goes along with the gag, although Rossini assumes the two are married. Understandably, all manner of complications occur. If You Could Only Cook is standard, silly, highly contrived screwball comedy stuff, only the laughs don't quite arrive with enough frequency. Arthur and Marshall are both wonderful, however, and their performances are the chief reason for watching the movie. Carrillo is fine, Inescort is given little to do but does it well, and Lionel Stander [Mr. Deeds Goes to Town] is simply gross and typically repulsive as Rossini's good right hand. Jean Arthur and Leo Carrillo also appeared together in History is Made at Night.

Verdict: Slight and over-familiar, but the stars are great. **.

MANHATTAN MERRY-GO-ROUND

MANHATTAN MERRY-GO-ROUND (1937). Director: Charles Reisner.

Jerry Hart (Phil Regan) sings in a Manhattan nightclub on a revolving platform or "merry-go-round." His fiancee is Ann Rogers (Ann Dvorak), who is a secretary for a music business. Said business is taken over by hood Tony Gordoni (Leo Carrillo), who wants to sign the temperamental opera diva "Charlizzini" (Tamara Geva) to a recording contract. Gordoni forces Jerry to charm and romance "Charlie" and stay attendant on her even as Ann waits at the altar and is jilted. Will Ann ever forgive Jerry? Phil Regan [We're in the Money] was a handsome and popular crooner of the period who never quite made it in pictures, probably because his contract was with Monogram and Republic and not MGM. But he was "dreamy" looking, had a very nice voice, and was a competent enough actor, being adept and pleasing in Manhattan Merry-Go-Round. Ann Dvorak [Out of the Blue] is completely wasted in this, but Geva manages to be somewhat amusing as the diva, even if you begin to wish someone would shoot her. Regan manages to sing an aria from "Martha" not too shabbily, but the film's musical highlight may be Cab Calloway's rendition of "I Want to Make Rhythm." Other "artists" in the film are singing cowboy Gene Autry [Phantom Empire] and Kay Thompson and Her Girls, who are utterly lacking in distinction. The real Joe DiMaggio has a cameo as himself, but is mistaken for a radio singer and tries to warble a tune. A male supporting character practices hand-kissing with Phil Regan, which prompts some raised eyebrows from lady passersby.

Verdict: Another mediocre Republic musical with some interesting players. **.

HISTORY IS MADE AT NIGHT

Charles Boyer and Jean Arthur

HISTORY IS MADE AT NIGHT (1937). Director: Frank Borzage.

Ship builder Bruce Vail (Colin Clive) is pathologically jealous of his innocent wife Irene (Jean Arthur) until finally she's had enough and wants out. Vail will do anything to prevent the divorce, to that end paying Irene's chauffeur in Paris to pose as her lover. Interceding in this phony scenario is head waiter Paul Dumond (Charles Boyer), whose good intentions pave the way for all sorts of problems when Vail decides that he must be Irene's lover and frames him for murder. Believe it or not, it all builds up to a [post] Titanic-type shipwreck. Because of its rather ridiculous plot -- Dumond quits his job to follow Irene to America after knowing her one day, and even drags along the chef Cesare (Leo Carrillo)-- History almost becomes a shipwreck were it not for its romantic intensity and, most importantly, the wonderful performances of the leads. You wouldn't think that Arthur and Boyer would make a good pair, but they play marvelously together and are completely convincing no matter what the story line throws at them -- and it throws a lot. The bit with the ship hitting an iceberg is well-handled on the technical side and the wind-up is moving as well. It's also fun to watch the sharp Boyer taking over an American restaurant and getting everyone to snap to it in record time. Carrillo and especially Clive also offer sterling performances.

Verdict: Quite absurd but also quite entertaining due to the two stars. [It also helps to be an incurable romantic.] ***.

HORROR ISLAND

HORROR ISLAND (1941). Director: George Waggner.

When Bill (Dick Foran) and partner Stuff (Fuzzy Knight) discover that the former has inherited an island with a castle on it, they decide to bring tourists there for a treasure hunt. Tobias (Leo Carrillo) insists that the island hides pirate Henry Morgan's treasure, but half of his map showing where it is supposedly located has been stolen by a phantom with a mask and cloak. This same phantom shows up on the island, of course, where he sneaks among such guests as Wendy (Peggy Moran), George (John Eldredge) and Arleen (Iris Adrian). Although there are a couple of murders, if you're expecting anything really horrific on or in the badly named "Horror Island," try another movie. This is an okay time-passer with reasonably pleasant performances and a very slight dab of atmosphere.

Verdict: At least it's not very long. **1/2.

FOUR FRIGHTENED PEOPLE

Colbert gives a come hither look in "Four"

FOUR FRIGHTENED PEOPLE (1934). Director: Cecil B. DeMille.

"This is practically virgin territory."

"Perhaps that's why Corder doesn't like it."

When bubonic plague breaks out on a ship, four passengers escape in a small boat and wind up in Malaya, where they have to go through a jungle with various pitfalls to, hopefully, make it to civilization. The four are geography teacher Judy Jones (Claudette Colbert), reporter Stewart Corder (William Gargan), society do-gooder Mrs. Mardick (Mary Boland), and unhappily married Arnold Ainger (Herbert Marshall). Leo Carillo plays Montague, who guides the four through the jungle. The prim, unsophisticated Judy blossoms into a woman during the trek, and soon Corder and Ainger are competing for her, even as some natives want to keep portly Mrs. Mardick prisoner until the others can return with her weight in rice. The rather dull narrative [despite all the goings-on] is briefly enlivened by the appearance of a carnivorous plant that eats a cute animal, and a playful chimp [probably played by the famous, talented Cheetah] who steals Judy's shoes. Colbert is initially quite good in the film, completely de-glamorized, but later on becomes shrill and irritating, overplaying every scene; the other actors are fine. Colbert gave some fine performances, but this is not one of them. DeMille made some great movies, but this is a tiresome throwaway, pretentious and often predictable.NOTE: This is the shorter 78 minute version, which is quite long enough.

Verdict: One trip through the jungle you can avoid. **.

THE GAY DESPERADO

THE GAY DESPERADO (1936). Director: Rouben Mamoulian.

The story is some stuff and nonsense about Mexican bandits being influenced by Hollywood movies, kidnapping a young couple, while one of their number, Chivo (Nino Martini) , happens to have a major operatic voice. This is one of only a half dozen movies done by Martini, and he's really the only reason to tune in. He was not at all a bad actor for this kind of stuff, but boy what a voice! He sings the pants off "Celeste, Aida!" from Verdi's Aida, proving that he is no poser like Andrea Bocelli, but the genuine article -- an outstanding dramatic tenor. Whenever he's not singing the movie is kind of tiresome, despite the snappy presence of Ida Lupino as the love interest. Leo Carrillo and Mischa Auer are also in the cast.

Verdict: Sing, fellow, sing! **1/2.