LOUSY NEW MOVIE: KNIVES OUT

The family of Knives Out

KNIVES OUT (2019). Written and directed by Rian Johnson.

Popular author Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer of The Fall of the Roman Empire) is found dead, apparently of a slit throat, the night of his birthday party in his beautiful mansion. His death is initially thought to be a suicide, but his caregiver, Marta (Ana de Armas), may know a lot more than she's saying -- at least at first. A private investigator named Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) has been hired -- although he doesn't know by whom -- into investigating Thrombey's death, so he speaks to all of the relatives -- and Marta. Then at the reading of the will, everyone finds out just who Thrombey left his money to and pandemonium ensues.

Daniel Craig as a southern private eye

I'm not at all certain what writer/director Rian Johnson was thinking of when he put together this movie, which is not a witty comedy and certainly not a serious drama or even clever mystery. If he was trying to come up with a master sleuth along the lines of Hercule Poirot with Benoit Blanc, he comes a cropper. Although Daniel Craig [Spectre] does a convincing enough southern accent and gives a good performance, Blanc is a completely one-dimensional and uninteresting detective. If this is an Agatha Christie pastiche, it's a petty poor one. One of the worst elements of the film is that the heroine literally pukes whenever she tells a lie, which is often. This business is not only disgusting but gets tiresome very quickly. Some elements of the plot are mildly clever, but Rian Johnson is certainly no Christie.

Barf Baby: Ana de Armas

What's worse, the film is almost completely devoid of memorable dialogue. Some viewers complained that the movie's politics were too leftist -- some of the family members have conservative views, some don't, but in either case these are mere attempts at characterization, which the film has all too little of -- but I found it ironic and amazing that the African-American cop assigned to the case, Lt. Elliott (LaKeith Stanfield), is both literally and figuratively shunted aside the minute the southern P.I. shows up, having very little to do or say thereafter! This is progressive?

The minute I saw that Jamie Lee Curtis [Halloween] was in the film I feared it would be a stinker, and I was right, although Curtis' performance is actually okay. As the lead character, Ana de Armas is competent but she completely lacks distinction as a performer, at least in this film. However, I was impressed with the performances of Christopher Plummer (seen in flashbacks), Don Johnson, Chris Evans, and Toni Collette [Fright Night], among others, as various members of the Thrombey family. The worst thing I can say about Knives Out, however, is that it's overlong and becomes tedious with only a few spurts of minor excitement along the way. It's easily thirty minutes too long.

Verdict: Puke on this movie and read a great Agatha Christie novel instead. **.

FANTASTIC 4: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER

Doug Jones as The Silver Surfer

FANTASTIC 4: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER (2007). Director: Tim Story.

In this sequel to Fantastic Four, Mr. Fantastic (Ioan Gruffud) and the Invisible Woman (Jessica Alba) are about to get married. Their wedding day, unfortunately, is interrupted by the arrival of a silver flying alien popularly known as the Silver Surfer (Doug Jones; voiced by Laurence Fishburne). In one of the movie's best sequences, the Surfer and the Human Torch (Chris Evans of Captain America: The Winter Soldier) engage in high-flying battle over Manhattan, near the Washington monument, and inside the Holland (or is it Lincoln?) tunnel. But there are other problems besides the Surfer -- Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon) has stolen his cosmic surfboard; the members of the FF suddenly find themselves switching powers; and it develops that the Surfer is only the Herald of an energy-absorbing monstrous mass known as Galactus who intends to suck the earth dry. While the film's conception of Galactus is disappointing, the Surfer is well visualized, and the film is a more than acceptable popcorn movie. Sometimes the picture is a little too light-hearted for its own good, although it never quite becomes high-camp. The fourth member of the team is the Thing (Michael Chiklis). Although McMahon can be a touch hammy, he is effective as "Dr. Doom," and the other actors all do a nice job as their comic book counterparts. There were only two films in this FF series, which has just been rebooted with a completely different cast.

Verdict: Fun, with good FX and action sequences, if perhaps a touch too lightweight. ***.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (2014). Directors: Anthony and Joe Russo.

The spy organization SHIELD is compromised, and the chief, Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), attacked. Captain America (Chris Evans) discovers that the evil group HYDRA has been hidden inside SHIELD all the time. With the assistance of the Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and Sam Wilson, the Falcon (Anthony Mackie), Cap takes on HYDRA, the Swiss scientist Arnim Zola (Toby Jones), Batroc (Georges St-Pierre), and a character from his past known only as the Winter Soldier, (Sebastian Stan) who is actually Cap's old partner, Bucky Barnes, now turned assassin. Evans [Fantastic Four] and Johansson [Marvel's The Avengers] give good performances, and there's a nice, well-played part for Robert Redford [Lions for Lambs] as the corrupt Alexander Pierce. Captain America: The Winter Soldier is busy, has some good action scenes and stunt work, but overall is second rate. It is a slight improvement over Captain America: The First Avenger however.

Verdict: Maybe the next one will get it right. **1/2.

FANTASTIC FOUR

Invisible Woman, Mr. Fantastic, Human Torch and the Thing

FANTASTIC FOUR (aka Fantastic 4/2005). Director: Tim Story.

Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd of Sanctum), his ex-girlfriend Susan Storm (Jessica Alba), her brother Johnny (Chris Evans of Captain America: The First Avenger), and buddy Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis) all participate in a space experiment with college acquaintance and scientist Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon). Unfortunately things go a little awry and they all wind up with strange, super-human powers. Sue can become invisible and create force fields. Johnny becomes a flying, blazing Human Torch. Reed can stretch any part of his body like a latter day Plastic Man; and Ben turns into a lump of orange rocks with incredible super-strength. Together they become known as the Fantastic Four and save the city when Von Doom [aka "Dr. Doom"] mutates into a metallic maniac and goes on the rampage. Despite some changes to their origin, this often captures the feel of the old Stan Lee-Jack Kirby Fantastic Four comic books of the silver age. There's a generous amount of humor, but it generally comes from the situations and isn't forced, as well as some pathos concerning the situation of "the Thing," as Ben becomes known, who loses his sweetheart when she can't deal with his ugliness. The movie presents the inter-relationships of the foursome along the lines of the comic, with a callow, often insensitive Torch goading the Thing into destructive rages, and so on. All five of the actors, including McMahon, while they may not at first seem like perfect casting, do a fine job bringing these super-heroes to life. Alba received a lot of knocks, but she has authority and gives a perfectly good performance. The only problem with the movie is that the climax is rather short. For more information on the Fantastic Four comic see The Silver Age of Comics.

Verdict: Fun Marvel Comic Book Movie. ***.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER

CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER (2011). Director: Joe Johnston.

The super-hero Captain America first appeared in comics during the golden age of the 1940's. He was brought back in the sixties with the explanation that he had been in suspended animation for decades. Captain America, The First Avenger takes the same tack, but decides to make the movie a long flashback to the forties, presumably hoping sequels and the upcoming Avengers movie will show Cap in action in the modern age. Steve Rogers is a short, skinny but brave and plucky young man who wants to serve his country but is judged 4-F. The character is so likable that you root for him to make it just as he is [the comics never delved too much into Roger's pre-Captain America life], although to be fair it is not his new physique [after he volunteers for an experiment] that wins him admiration, but his actions. For inexplicable reasons the script [by Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely and others]  includes a dumb middle section in which the new Cap is not sent into action but only used as a poster boy in war bonds advertisements, allowing other characters to call him "Tinkerbell" and "chorus girl." This has absolutely nothing to do with the comics. One intelligent change is that his boy partner, Bucky, has been turned into an adult, another soldier and good friend of Steve's [he never actually becomes a costumed partner, however].

Chris Evans is quite good as Steve Rogers/Captain America. Hayley Atwell is acceptable as Peggy Carter, who was a spy in the comics but here is a drill sergeant [not likely in the forties!]. Tommy Lee Jones, looking like the wreck of the Hesperus, plays an old warhorse colonel. Hugo Weaving is effective enough as Johann Schmidt, better known as the evil Red Skull, Cap's nemesis. [In this the Skull belongs to the evil organization Hydra.] The trouble with Captain America is that it doesn't have much of a story, the action scenes are all kind of blah and are poorly directed and edited for the most part, and it never catches the sheer colorful excitement of the comic book hero. Believe it or not, despite all the money spent on this production, it really isn't much better than that the low-budget Captain America with Matt Salinger. And it's never as thrilling or entertaining as the old cliffhanger serial, Captain America. It also at times has an old-fashioned sensibility that is not really explained away by the time period. NOTE: To read more of the sixties comic book adventures of Captain America, see The Silver Age of Comics.

Verdict: A major disappointment. **.