LOUSY NEW MOVIE: KNIVES OUT

The family of Knives Out

KNIVES OUT (2019). Written and directed by Rian Johnson.

Popular author Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer of The Fall of the Roman Empire) is found dead, apparently of a slit throat, the night of his birthday party in his beautiful mansion. His death is initially thought to be a suicide, but his caregiver, Marta (Ana de Armas), may know a lot more than she's saying -- at least at first. A private investigator named Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) has been hired -- although he doesn't know by whom -- into investigating Thrombey's death, so he speaks to all of the relatives -- and Marta. Then at the reading of the will, everyone finds out just who Thrombey left his money to and pandemonium ensues.

Daniel Craig as a southern private eye

I'm not at all certain what writer/director Rian Johnson was thinking of when he put together this movie, which is not a witty comedy and certainly not a serious drama or even clever mystery. If he was trying to come up with a master sleuth along the lines of Hercule Poirot with Benoit Blanc, he comes a cropper. Although Daniel Craig [Spectre] does a convincing enough southern accent and gives a good performance, Blanc is a completely one-dimensional and uninteresting detective. If this is an Agatha Christie pastiche, it's a petty poor one. One of the worst elements of the film is that the heroine literally pukes whenever she tells a lie, which is often. This business is not only disgusting but gets tiresome very quickly. Some elements of the plot are mildly clever, but Rian Johnson is certainly no Christie.

Barf Baby: Ana de Armas

What's worse, the film is almost completely devoid of memorable dialogue. Some viewers complained that the movie's politics were too leftist -- some of the family members have conservative views, some don't, but in either case these are mere attempts at characterization, which the film has all too little of -- but I found it ironic and amazing that the African-American cop assigned to the case, Lt. Elliott (LaKeith Stanfield), is both literally and figuratively shunted aside the minute the southern P.I. shows up, having very little to do or say thereafter! This is progressive?

The minute I saw that Jamie Lee Curtis [Halloween] was in the film I feared it would be a stinker, and I was right, although Curtis' performance is actually okay. As the lead character, Ana de Armas is competent but she completely lacks distinction as a performer, at least in this film. However, I was impressed with the performances of Christopher Plummer (seen in flashbacks), Don Johnson, Chris Evans, and Toni Collette [Fright Night], among others, as various members of the Thrombey family. The worst thing I can say about Knives Out, however, is that it's overlong and becomes tedious with only a few spurts of minor excitement along the way. It's easily thirty minutes too long.

Verdict: Puke on this movie and read a great Agatha Christie novel instead. **.

GUILTY AS SIN

Don Johnson and Rebecca De Mornay

GUILTY AS SIN (1993). Director: Sidney Lumet.

"He chose me to defend him before he murdered his wife."

Rising attorney Jennifer Haines (Rebecca De Mornay) takes on a client who is handsome if immoral, a gigolo named David Greenhill (Don Johnson) who has been accused of pushing his wealthy wife out of a window. Jennifer takes Greenhill's case against her better judgment, regrets it, tries to back out, but is told by a judge (Dana Ivey) that dropping pro bono cases is a no no. Meanwhile her friend and investigator Moe Plimpton (Jack Warner) discovers some disturbing things about her client, who seems to have been obsessed with Jennifer for quite some time. Then Jennifer's boyfriend, Phil (Stephen Lang), is brutally attacked, and worse things are in store for other of Jennifer's associates. Guilty as Sin is an entertaining, if far-fetched, thriller with good performances -- Johnson and De Mornay, make a good team, if that's what it can be called -- although Larry Cohen's screenplay has Jennifer doing things that she seems too smart to do. Norma Dell'Agnese makes her mark as Jennifer's secretary, Emily, as do Christina Grace and Barbara Eve Harris as two of David's "admirers." Stephen Lang [Save Me] is fine as Phil, and gets the bedroom scenes that, oddly, they never give Johnson, who was considered a sex symbol (along with De Mornay) at the time. Don Johnson [The Hot Spot] is quite good and exhibits star appeal, but never quite made it as a major movie star; he's now back on television in Oil. De Mornay's [The Trip to Bountiful] career is also more low-profile these days, with much television work as well. As for director Sidney Lumet [Child's Play], this is a minor work in his canon. A death-by-fire scene is one of the liveliest in the movie.

Verdict: Improbable at times, but well-acted and engaging. ***.