STAR!

Daniel Massey, Julie Andrews, Richard Crenna

STAR! (1968). Director: Robert Wise.

It must have seemed like a good idea back in the sixties. Let's take the director of the mega hit The Sound of Music, Robert Wise, and team him up with Julie Andrews, the star of not only that film but of Mary Poppins. This was the period of big, long "road show" movie musicals, and everyone must have figured Star! would be one of the biggest and most successful of them all. Boy, were they wrong! Let's get one thing straight at the start. Star! didn't fail because tastes had changed (even if they had); it failed because it was bad.

"Poor Jenny" from Lady in the Dark

Even if The Sound of Music hadn't been based on a hit musical, it had a compelling story line. Star! is not based on anything but the life of Gertrude Lawrence, best known to those of us today as the star, with Yul Brynner, of the wonderful Rodgers and Hammerstein Broadway musical The King and I. She had only a few film appearances, and while she was well-known in theatrical circles, she was perhaps not quite a household name. So Star! was already lacking built-in pre-appeal. Then there was the fact that the only thing Lawrence and Andrews had in common is that they were British; Andrews simply wasn't able to successfully approximate the real Gertrude Lawrence. The sketches and songs early in the picture that are meant to be funny fall completely flat because Andrews, despite her talent, is no Lucille Ball  -- nor Lawrence. Andrews makes a good try at coming off like a tempestuous and difficult diva (which is how the film tries to portray Lawrence ) but she just can't get that far away from Maria Von Trapp.

Spending spree at Cartier's 

Star! provides some basic facts of Lawrence's life, although it fictionalizes and exaggerates a lot and combines two suitors, a banker and a small-time producer, into one character (Richard Crenna). Her other suitors include a military captain (Michael Craig), another actor named Charles (Robert Reed), a show biz type briefly essayed by Anthony Eisley, and a husband named Jack (John Collin), who is nothing much like Lawrence's actual first husband. Her closest relationship is probably with Noel Coward, played herein by a de-sexualized Daniel Massey. (The production saved money no doubt by casting male actors who couldn't command large fees.) The film also details her troubles with debts and taxes that nearly landed her in jail, and one of the best scenes has her dramatically declaiming before a a judge (Murray Matheson of Wall of Noise) in bankruptcy court. Lawrence spent much more than she earned, thinking nothing of, say, dropping into Cartier's to buy whatever she fancied.

"He Never Said He Loved Me"

There are several production numbers in the film, staged by actor-choreographer Michael Kidd [It's Always Fair Weather], but most of them are unmemorable, campy, too-weird, or all three. The "Poor Jenny" number from Lady in the Dark is at least lively, but also staged in a way that is more stupid than inventive. There is a silly number set in a Limehouse brothel that could have used more dancing. The one production number I enjoyed, very well performed by Andrews, was one in which she appears to be a harem girl singing about how her doctor loves all of her separate parts but "He Never Said he Loved Me." It has the whimsy that the rest of the film is lacking. At another point Andrews sings a simple love song on a bare stage and nails it beautifully.

The movie makes the mistake of proceeding as a documentary of Lawrence's life which the lady herself is watching and commenting on. Although this is a widescreen picture, about half the movie uses about only a third of the screen to reproduce black and white newsreels. It's a dumb and pointless approach. But then the whole project was ultimately pointless, laying an egg at the box office, almost killing off Andrews' career, incurring the wrath of bored critics, and doing little to revive interest in the real Gertrude Lawrence, considered one of the greatest theatrical talents of the 20th century -- more's the pity. The movie never even mentions her appearance in the film version of The Glass Menagerie, nor --shockingly -- her triumph in The King and I. 

Verdict: Ten good minutes out of three hours (!) is not enough to save this movie. **. 

WALL OF NOISE

Ty Hardin and Suzanne Pleshette

WALL OF NOISE (1963). Director: Richard Wilson.

Horse trainer Joel Tarrant (Ty Hardin) goes to work for Matt Rubio (Ralph Meeker) who wants to get involved in racing. Angered when Joel's girlfriend, Ann (Dorothy Provine), whom he treated like crap, goes off with his friend and jockey, Bud (Jimmy Murphy), Joel takes up with Rubio's sophisticated and neglected wife, Laura (Suzanne Pleshette). Will their horse win the big race? Will Joel wind up with Ann or Laura? Is there any way that anyone could possibly care? Wall of Noise is an incredibly dull picture that is bolstered strictly by the talents of its supporting case, especially Meeker [Jeopardy], Murphy, Simon Oakland, Murray Matheson, and George Petrie. Hardin [Berserk] is only adequate, one of these lesser-talented hunks who plays everything in a key of anger because it's easier to do than real emoting -- he is always grimacing as if he's smelling something bad -- and Pleshette offers one of her rare lousy performances. The dialogue is often cliched and terrible, but it isn't helped by its delivery: Hardin and Pleshette [A Rage to Live] set off  as much passionate sparks as a wet firecracker. Even the racing scenes are dull, and after awhile you're just impatiently waiting until this bomb is over. Richard Wilson also directed the equally awful Raw Wind in Eden, which at least had a better title.

Verdict: Not enough noise to drown out this stinker, but the horses are nice. *1/2.

FLIGHT TO TANGIER

FLIGHT TO TANGIER (1953). Director: Charles Marquis Warren.

Susan Lane (Joan Fontaine), a reporter, arrives at the airport in Tangier only to see a small plane crash in flames. The pilot was supposed to be her boyfriend, Hank (John Picard), but there are no bodies on board the aircraft. Adventurer and war hero Gil Walker (Jack Palance) helps Susan find Hank and stay out of the clutches of sinister Danzer (Robert Douglas), whose girlfriend Nicki (Corinne Calvet) has a hankering for Gil and a few secrets of her own. Accused of murdering a policeman, Gil goes on the run with the two ladies as they all try to find Hank and whatever booty it is that Danzer is after. The first thing you have to wonder about Flight to Tangier is how on earth a classy actress like Fontaine wound up in this Grade C movie that pretty much utterly wastes her talents. Palance [Torture Garden] is fine, as weird as ever, Calvet [So This is Paris] is beautiful and not bad, although she's not quite up to her tougher scenes, and clean-shaven Douglas makes a fairly bland villain unlike his mustachioed bad guy of This Side of the Law. At least half the movie seems to consist of Fontaine and Palance -- an unlikely pairing -- running and running around occasionally scenic views of "Tangier." Murray Matheson has a small but pivotal role as a passenger on the plane who has something important to deliver. Warren also directed Unknown Terror, which is a lot more fun. If this was actually released in 3-D as the poster suggests, the movie apparently does little with the process.

Verdict: A couple of good scenes but this never amounts to much. **.

TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE

A bizarre image from "Good Life"

TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE (1983). Multiple directors. Narrated by Burgess Meredith.

This big-screen adaptation of the famous TV show does not begin auspiciously with a dragged-out, unfunny framing sequence with Dan Aykroyd and Albert Brooks as ambulance men who sing theme songs from old television shows to pass the time; this builds up to a gag that is neither scary nor amusing.

The first segment of the movie is a new story entitled "Time Out," in which an embittered man (an excellent Vic Morrow) takes out his dissatisfaction with life on minorities such as Jews and Blacks, but then winds up back in Nazi Germany [as a Jew] and in the South [as a black], and so on. The tragic deaths that occurred during filming this segment and the repercussions were chronicled in the superb book Outrageous Conduct. "Time Out" is well-directed and edited, but it basically marked the end of director John Landis' big-screen career.

The original "Kick the Can" on The Twilight Zone [season 3], set in the Sunnyvale nursing home in which some of the inhabitants magically turn into children, has a good idea but is poorly developed, although it has a touching opening scene when one resident packs to go home with his son only to be told he has to stay in Sunnyvale. [The old people in the episode all seem too lively and lucid to be in a nursing home, which is also true in the movie.] The movie's adaptation is an improvement -- instead of just letting the "children" run off to go who knows where, it deals with the possible consequences of their transformation -- where would the kids go and do they really want to live life all over again? Murray Matheson and Scatman Crothers give good performances along with the rest of the cast. Directed by Steven Spielberg.

The adaptation of "It's a Good Life" is discussed in the post on Jerome Bixby's short story and the different film and TV versions of it. 

"Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" [season 5] starred a notable William Shatner as a man who'd already had one nervous breakdown on a plane, and has the misfortune of being on another plane when a gremlin or alien creature decides to poke about on the wing outside his window. This was a good episode, even if the monster looked like a hairy Harpo Marx. The creature's appearance is improved in the movie. and the sequence -- while played like a black comedy as is "It's a Good Life" -- is often intense and exciting. John Lithgow is okay as a more nervous and hysterical passenger than Shatner played. Directed by George Miller. 

Verdict: Overall, this is really just so-so. **1/2.