DARK SHADOWS: RETURN TO COLLINWOOD

DARK SHADOWS: RETURN TO COLLINGWOOD. Pomegranate Press; 2012.

Kathryn Leigh Scott, who played Maggie Evans on Dark Shadows, came out with this new photo book on the eve of the release of Tim Burton's quite dreadful big-budget film adaptation. Scott writes of how the members of the old cast, especially Jonathan "Barnabas" Frid, were disappointed that they were given no actual characters to play but were condescendingly cast as "party guests" (whom I never even spotted). Helena Bonham Carter, cast as Dr. Hoffman, was pleasant to their faces but later announced that the old series was "awful." (Apparently she said this before she saw the movie!) The rest of the book is full of notes and photographs pertaining not just to the original series, but the 12 episode remake starring Ben Cross as Barnabas. Then there are such anecdotes as the time Gale Sondergaard showed up on the set of the sixties series, and apparently auditioned for a role she either didn't get or didn't want. Scott also writes of what went on behind the scenes of the two Dark Shadows movies, such as House of Dark Shadows, that were made immediately after the cancellation of the TV show. The main focus of the book, of course, is on Scott, but there are interesting observations of the other actors as well.

Verdict: Primarily for Dark Shadows fanatics but packed with good photos. ***.

MARY SHELLEY'S FRANKENSTEIN (1994)

Robert De Niro

MARY SHELLEY'S FRANKENSTEIN (1994). Director: Kenneth Branagh.

Kenneth Branagh [Wallander; Sidetracked] both directed and plays Victor Frankenstein in this version of the venerable story, that -- as expected, regardless of the title -- plays as fast and loose with Mary Shelley as any other Frankenstein movie. Unlike the novel, the film shows us the man who became the basis of the monster, and in a ridiculous scene that borders on travesty, Victor tries to bring Elizabeth (Helena Bonham Carter of Dark Shadows) back to life! Tom Hulce plays Henry Clerval, with Aidan Quinn as Captain Walton and Ian Holm [Another Woman] as the elder Baron Frankenstein. When I first saw this I was rather appalled by Robert De Niro's performance as the monster, but he seemed a bit better this time around. The actors are all good, but none are great, and the time frame is all wrong. This has a handsome production, but Patrick Doyle's score, while good, is frequently over-dramatic.

Verdict: "Mary Shelley's" Frankenstein this isn't! **1/2.

DARK SHADOWS (2012)

Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins

DARK SHADOWS (2012). Director: Tim Burton.

"I don't think people take meetings at the bottom of the ocean."

If you were hoping that Tim Burton's big screen retake of the old horror soap opera Dark Shadows would be another entertaining horror-dark comedy romp like Sleepy Hollow, or just entertaining like Ed Wood, be advised that Dark Shadows, unlike those two films, is a real stinker. A prologue that takes place in 1760 is promising as it details what happens when witch Angelique (Eva Green) puts a curse of vampirism on Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) because he spurned her love. The action then switches to 1971 Collinsport where Barnabas is accidentally disinterred from his grave and rejoins the family, consisting of Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer), her daughter Carolyn (Chloe Grace Moretz), Dr. Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter), the handyman Willie (Jackie Earle Haley), among others, and new arrival Victoria Winters (Bella Heathcote), who is governess to little David (Gulliver McGrath) and the spitting image of Barnabas' old love, Josette. Who cares? 

Even fans of the old show will be disappointed in this very silly updating that consists mostly of empty (if well-done) pyrotechnics. There is the occasional funny line and clever moment -- Barnabas and Angelique have disco sex and a bit with laughing portraits-come-alive -- but all that really holds this together is Bruno Delbonnel's stunning cinematography, which deserves a better script to showcase it. Depp also gives a very good performance, as do Pfeiffer, Carter and especially Eva Green [Casino Royale], but they all take a back seat to the formidable Christopher Lee in a cameo as a sea captain. (Some of the original cast members of the TV show supposedly appear in a party scene but they are impossible to spot.) This is a blatant misfire -- too bad.

Verdict: Is this Dark Shadows -- or The Munsters?" *1/2.