DOCTORS WIVES

DOCTORS' WIVES (1971). Director: George Schaefer.

"I don't appreciate your sleeping with your wife." 

Lorrie Dellman (Dyan Cannon) announces to a group of friends, all of whom are married to doctors as she is, that she intends to sleep with all of their husbands, and has already gotten to two of them. The next day Lorrie is caught in bed with a doctor and shot to death by her husband as everyone wonders which man (who survived the shooting and is fighting for his life in the hospital) was her lover. And this is just in the first ten minutes!

WIVES: McCargo, Williams, Cannon, Rule, Roberts

Unfortunately, anyone hoping for a serious film or just a trash wallow will be disappointed, as Doctors Wives is not a very good picture and sadly isn't quite bad enough to be much fun either. Judging from this movie, doctors, nurses and interns spend almost as much of their time having affairs as they do tending to patients. The wives in the picture consist of Amy (Janice Rule of The Swimmer) who is married to Peter (Richard Crenna), who is having an affair with his head nurse Helen (Diana Sands), whose little boy has an aneurysm. Then there's Della (Rachel Roberts of When a Stranger Calls) who is married to Dave (Gene Hackman) and confesses to him that she also had sex with lusty Lorrie. Maggie (Cara Williams) is separated from Joe (Carroll O'Connor) and drinks too much, while neglected Elaine (Marian McCargo aka Marian Moses) beds an intern-stud named Mike (Anthony Costello) even as her hubby Paul (George Gaynes of One Touch of Venus) is similarly occupied elsewhere. You need a scorecard. (If this makes you want to rush out and buy the DVD, be forewarned.) 

DOCTORS: Gaynes, Hackman, Colicos, O'Connor, Crenna

Others have noted that Doctors Wives comes off more as a racy and frank nighttime TV soap opera than a theatrical movie, and having the competent but bland, strictly small-screen Crenna in the lead doesn't help. Otherwise the cast is game with Roberts, Sands, Cannon and Williams making the best impression. And John Colicos is especially notable as the very cool, near-sociopathic wife killer who  schemes to get out of police custody when he's called to operate on Helen's son, and there are also good turns from Richard Anderson as the D.A. and Ralph Bellamy as Cannon's father. Anthony Costello also scores -- literally as well as figuratively -- as the horny and busy intern. The business with a gal named Sybil recording all of her sexual episodes is stupid, however, as is much of the movie. Several plot elements go unresolved but at least there wasn't a sequel! 

Verdict: For those anxious to see close-up shots of open heart surgery only! Some good performances but otherwise not worthwhile at all. **. 

STARLIFT

Ruth Roman and Dick Wesson

STARLIFT (1951). Director: Roy Del Ruth.

Movie star Nell Wayne (Janice Rule of The Swimmer) gets the notion that Air Force Corporal Rick Williams (Ron  Hagerthy) and his buddy Sgt. Mike Nolan (Dick Wesson) are being shipped overseas for combat in Korea when they are merely picking up wounded soldiers and piloting them home. Nell feels betrayed when she learns the truth, but the press come to the conclusion that she and Rick are engaged and the two are forced to go along with the deception. Meanwhile Nell and other celebrities take part in "Operation: Starlift," which brings movie stars and others by plane to visit wounded servicemen.

Ron Hagerthy and Janice Rule

This is the slender plot for another all-star war movie that starts out as a Doris Day film -- Day plays herself and does a couple of numbers -- but then dismisses her in favor of Ruth Roman (also playing herself) and assorted guest-stars. These include everyone from Louella Parsons to Peter Marshall to Patrice Wymore. Jane Wyman warbles a pleasant tune and is acceptable. Gene Nelson dancers with his customary flair and aptitude in a ballet with Rule. Phil Harris [The Patsy] shows up and does little but repulse everyone with his hideous smile. He also appears in a singing sketch with Gary Cooper playing a Texas Ranger. James Cagney puts in a brief appearance and there is a sketch about a chef that you can miss.

Virginia Mayo does her dance

Starlift does have a couple of highlights, however. There's Gordon MacRae splendidly singing "Good Green Acres of Home" backed by a military chorus. And Virginia Mayo [The Kid from Brooklyn] does a kind of Polynesian dance number and proves herself to be quite skilled in the terpsichorean arts. Ruth Roman is on screen almost as long as Janice Rule but she apparently can neither sing nor dance. As for the two Air Force men, Dick Wesson was generally comedy relief in a few movies and TV shows. After this film, most of Ron  Hagerthy's many credits were on television. Others in the cast include Richard Webb as Colonel Callan and William Hudson as a soldier.

Verdict: Some memorable moments, but generally not one of the better "all-star" war films. **1/2. 

BELL BOOK AND CANDLE

Kim Novak with Pyewacket

BELL BOOK AND CANDLE (1958). Director: Richard Quine.

Shepherd Henderson (James Stewart) lives in Manhattan above an esoteric shop run by the beautiful Gillian Holroyd (Kim Novak). Gillian is a witch, and she decides to use a potion to draw Shep away from his fiancee, Merle (Janice Rule), whom she knew in college and didn't like. Before you know it, Shep is breaking it off with Merle on the day of their marriage and declaring his love for Gillian, even though she believes witches can't feel true love. When Gillian's brother, Nicky (Jack Lemmon), learns the truth, he and author Sidney Redlitch (Ernie Kovacs) -- who is working on a book about witches with Nicky -- ask head witch Mrs de Passe (Hermione Gingold of Gigi) to intercede. Once the spell is removed, will Shep and Gillian discover that their feelings for one another are actually real?

Battling siblings: Novak and Lemmon

Based on a play by James Van Druten, Bell Book and Candle should be an exercise in charming whimsy, but instead it's a leaden bit of foolishness. There are intriguing elements to the picture -- including the notion that, like gay people (not to compare the two!), witches can hide in plain sight -- but the film never recovers from the fact that Gillian at times comes off like a psycho -- her revenge upon Merle while in college is definite overkill. The whole business with witches and warlocks being some kind of secret society isn't handled very well in any case. One would think the performances of the cast would help put this over, but no one -- not even Stewart -- distinguishes himself; Elsa Lanchester [Murder By Death] as Novak's aunt offers her usual dithery portrayal and nothing more. Kim Novak affects a curious speech pattern that sort of fits her role. I must say I was impressed with Gillian's cat, Pyewacket, who slinks through the picture with aplomb.

Bewitched and befuddled: Stewart

Even considering that he's under a spell, Shep discards his fiance in an abrupt and cruel fashion (admittedly he should never have gotten engaged to her in the first place). With its premise of a witch with powers falling in love with an "outsider" or ordinary human, Bell Book and Candle is the obvious progenitor of the TV show Bewitched, which debuted six years later. The contributions of George Duning and James Wong Howe are wasted on this comparative piffle. I think the biggest problem is that this was made the same year as Hitchcock's masterpiece Vertigo, and considering it has the same two stars, Bell very, very much suffers in comparison.

Verdict: I Married a Witch this isn't! **1/4. 

THE SWIMMER

Janice Rule and Burt Lancaster

THE SWIMMER (1968). Director: Frank Perry.

"Pool by pool they form a river, all the way to my home."

Ned Merrill (Burt Lancaster of Desert Fury) shows up at the home of some friends who haven't seen him in awhile. Clad in a bathing suit, he tells them that he intends to swim from pool to pool on the estates in the area until he makes his way home. The reaction of the couple make it clear that something is off. As Ned makes his way on his journey, he encounters different people from his past, including many vulgar people with too much money, and the viewer slowly learns more and more about the truth behind this man's charming veneer and aura of health and success. The Swimmer is a quirky movie that is not for every taste, and some people might see it as an excuse for Lancaster to show off what good shape he was in, but if you're in tune with its style and content, it's an interesting and absorbing experience. Lancaster gives one of his all-time best performances, and he has wonderful support from such as Janice Rule, who plays a bitter ex-lover; Janet Landgard, who was once his babysitter and now is a nubile beauty; and Michael Kearney as a little boy who has been left alone with the maid by his vacationing parents. Joan Rivers, of all people, has a nice cameo as a lonely party guest who is attracted to Ned, and Jan Miner plays a vicious wife at a public swimming pool. Marvin Hamlisch's score is generally a plus. [Hamlisch also composed "Nobody Does It Better" for The Spy Who Loved Me.] The movie manages to work up sympathy for a man who may not be entirely deserving of it. John Cheever, who wrote the short story that inspired the movie, has a cameo as a party guest. Perry also directed Diary of a Mad Housewife.

Verdict: Don't kick a man when he's down. ***1/2.