TEN LITTLE INDIANS (1965)

Hugh O'Brian and Shirley Eaton

TEN LITTLE INDIANS (1965). Director: George Pollock. 

Ten people, including two servants, are given invitations to work or play at an isolated estate located high atop a mountain and accessible only by cable car. They discover the strange nursery rhyme about "ten little Indians" in each of their rooms The mysterious voice (Christopher Lee) of their unseen host declares that they have each gotten away with killing someone, and now it is time to pay the piper. The first to go is singer Mike Raven (Fabian), who ran over two people and barely got a slap on the wrist -- he dies by arsenic -- and then more murders occur, somehow each corresponding to the method of death mentioned in the rhyme. Will anyone be left alive? 

Leon Genn and most of the group

George Pollock had previously directed four Agatha Christie "Miss Marple" adaptations, and he does a good job adapting her "And Then There Were None/Ten Little Indians" to the screen. While I might have preferred a little more tension, this is not quite as "cutesy" -- for lack of a better word -- as the forties film And Then There Were None. Hugh O'Brian pretty much smirks his way through the movie, as if he were above it all (which he isn't), but his performance is adequate, although the other cast members are more on target. Stanley Holloway, Shirley Eaton, Dennis Price, Leo Genn, and Mario Adorf (as the houseman) deliver adept performances, while Fabian gets an "A" for effort and Wilfrid Hyde White seems to think he's back in that forties adaptation and can best be described as annoyingly impish. Surprisingly Daliah Lavi has a very good turn as the high-maintenance actress Ilona Bergen, and comes through in her scene when she admits all about her past. As the cook and housekeeper Marianne Hoppe is, perhaps, a bit too hysterical. 

Dennis Price and Wilfrid Hyde White

This version transplants the story from an island to a mountaintop and two of the murders center on falls from great heights, one in a cable car whose cable snaps, and the other while a character attempts a climb down the mountain to get help; these are well-handled, and the film has genuine suspense. O'Brian and Eaton are given a love scene that seems a bit out of place. Malcolm Lockyer's jazzy score does little for the picture, but the lensing is sharp thanks to cinematographer Ernest Stewart. This was George Pollock's last theatrical feature. 

Verdict: Very entertaining Christie picture with some fine performances. ***, 

AROUND THE WORLD UNDER THE SEA

Wynn, Eaton, Kelly, McCallum, Bridges and Thompson

AROUND THE WORLD UNDER THE SEA (1966). Produced and directed by Andrew Marton.  Produced by Ivan Tors. 

An increasing danger of undersea quakes that could endanger millions on land causes scientists to decide to implant special sensors in various places on the sea bottom, providing a sort of early warning system. To achieve this Doug Standish (Lloyd Bridges) and Craig Mosby (Brian Kelly) gather a team to occupy their sub, the Hydronaut, and voyage around the world. The team members consist of Hank Stahl (Keenan Wynn), Dr. Orin Hillyard (Marshall Thompson), Dr. Maggie Hanford (Shirley Eaton), and Philip Volker (David McCallum), who agrees to help only if they go on a salvage operation that could net millions once all the sensors are planted. But this operation is interrupted by an eruption, and the crew of the Hydronaut may find themselves in really hot water ... 

Shirley Eaton and Brian Kelly

Around the World Under the Sea may have been intended as producer Ivan Tors' answer to Irwin Allen's Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, but it certainly falls short of providing the same entertainment value. Although there is much talk of the ever-present danger of quakes and the necessity of planting the sensors, there is no sense of urgency and no real suspense until, perhaps, the final sequence. The actors are competent enough for the most part, but not quite up to the challenge in their most intense scenes. 

Lloyd Bridges and Brian Kelly

Tors filled the movie with such TV stars as Bridges from Sea Hunt, Kelly from Flipper, Thompson from Daktari, McCallum from The Man from U.N.C.L.E., who affects the same accent he used as Ilya in that series, and then throws in the irascible Keenan Wynn and the sexy Shirley Eaton to cause some minor tension among the boys. Eaton and Thompson seem to be romantically involved at the beginning of the movie, but halfway through she shifts her attention to Kelly, but there's no major reaction from Thompson. Although one could argue that this avoids a cliche -- although there are plenty in this movie -- it also strips the movie of any melodrama, which it could have used. We do get a gigantic eel that shows up and sniffs around the sub, but the problem with this is that it doesn't really seem to be endangering it or the people aboard. (I thought I spotted a few moments of 3D animation during this sequence and stop-motion expert Jim Danson is listed in the credits.)

David McCallum appeals to Shirley Eaton

The science of the film is suspect as well. At the climax, the water around the sub should have been boiling from the heat, and other things don't make much sense. However, some viewers might enjoy that Shirley Eaton loses the top of her bathing suit at one point where it floats outside of a porthole (or whatever they call it on a sub), and Harry Sukman's score has its effective moments. The screenplay is not well-constructed and hardly takes advantage of a very workable premise. There is no real characterization to speak of. 

Verdict: By no means dreadful, but too blah to be memorable. **1/4. 

A WEEKEND WITH LULU

Leslie Phillips

A WEEKEND WITH LULU (1961). Director: John Paddy Carstairs.

Timothy (Leslie Phillips of Doctor in Love) wants to go on Holiday with his fiancee, Deirdre (Shirley Eaton of Goldfinger). To that end his buddy Fred (Bob Monkhouse) lends him a caravan -- or trailer -- that he borrowed from someone else. They hitch the trailer -- which is called "Lulu" -- to an ice cream van, and all seems set until Tim discovers that Deirdre's rather horrid mother, Flo (Irene Handl), is going along with them, along with Fred. As they sleep the trailer somehow winds up being put on board a train as "freight" and they wind up over the border and in France. In a foreign country and not certain how to get back before the weekend is up, the foursome have various misadventures involving everything from the Tour de France to an amorous French count named de Grenoble (Alfred Marks) before finding their way back.

Eaton, Phillips, Monkhouse and Handl

You want to like the amiable Weekend because the players are more or less likable and there are some amusing situations in the movie, but aside from one solid laugh the movie never really erupts into hilarity. The script seems written on the go, throwing in sequences as the crew and our characters drive around the French countryside hoping to find chuckles. Phillips is fine as the genial Timothy, and Eaton is attractive and more-than-competent as his somewhat out-of-his-league fiancee. Monkhouse, a very popular British comedian, is fine as the more larcenous of the two men, although his schemes often backfire. Handl makes the most of her role as the mother, although through most of the movie she's too unpleasant to really take to. John Paddy Carstairs also directed Made in Heaven.

Verdict: For a classic British comedy watch The Belles of St. Trinian's instead. **. 

THE BLOOD OF FU MANCHU

Christopher Lee as Fu Manchu

THE BLOOD OF FU MANCHU (aka Kiss and Kill/1968). Director: Jess Franco. Produced by Harry Alan Towers.

From the South American jungles and a hidden city, Fu Manchu (Christopher Lee) sends forth ten kidnapped and mind-controlled women on a mission to murder ten of his most hated enemies. Fu Manchu uses special Incan black cobras to spread poison through the women, who can then deliver a "kiss of death" to their chosen victims. Sir Denis Nayland Smith (Richard Greene of Island of the Lost) is one of these victims, but he doesn't die immediately but goes blind instead. Smith insists that his friend Dr. Petrie (Howard Marion-Crawford of The Hasty Heart) take him to South America where he can meet up with his agent, Carl Jansen (Gotz George), and get an antidote from Fu Manchu. Tsai Chin is again cast as Fu's nasty daughter, Lin Tang, and Maria Rohm plays Ursula, the daughter of a murdered professor who had been traveling with Carl. The movie is nearly over before Shirley Eaton, who played Sax Rohmer's villainess Sumuru in two movies, shows up as one of the kissing assassins in scenes that could almost be outtakes from her second Sumuru flick, The Girl from Rio (which was also produced by Harry Alan Towers). Ricardo Palacios plays the irritating bandit chief Sancho Lopez, but he plays it well and his death is satisfying. Despite an amusing and workable premise and some interesting settings, The Blood of Fu Manchu has low production values and doesn't have much suspense or excitement. Lee plays Fu strictly for the paycheck. Greene is actually quite good as Smith and George makes an attractive secondary hero. This is the fourth of five Fu Manchu/Chris Lee movies.

Verdict: Sadly, there were worse Fu Manchu movies to come. **.

THE GIRL HUNTERS

Mickey Spillane and Scott Peters

THE GIRL HUNTERS (1963). Director: Roy Rowland.

"Tough guys I got all the time. Old tough guys I don't need." -- bar owner.

Mike Hammer (Mickey Spillane) has given up his practice and gone on a months-long bender after his secretary, Velda, supposedly ran off with another man and may be either missing or dead. His once-friendly antagonist, Captain Pat Chambers (Scott Peters), was also in love with Velda and is furious with Mike for putting her in danger. Sobered up, Hammer helps investigate the murder of a government agent, all the while hoping to find Velda, with the help of G-Man Rickerby (Lloyd Nolan) and a beautiful widow, Laura (Shirley Eaton), whose husband's murder may also have something to do with the case; a communist plot. Then there's the "red" hit man known only as the "Dragon" (Larry Taylor). Frankly, it's hard to follow the convoluted Girl Hunters at times, although the movie has a fast enough pace and is entertaining and well-acted. Spillane may not have been impressive playing himself in Ring of Fear, but in this he's actually quite good as his creation Mike Hammer. Spillane may not have been an Olivier or had great range, but he could have been developed as a tough guy hero or gangster in future films, but he was probably making enough money as a novelist. Scott Peters scores as Pat; he mostly had television credits. Nolan [Portrait in Black] is excellent, as is Charles Farrell as Grissi, who also assists Mike in the adventure. [This is not the Charles Farrell who appeared on My Little Margie.] Shirley Eaton, who had previously appeared in some of the British "Carry On" movies, appeared the following year in Goldfinger and became especially famous. Although Eaton gives a fine and sharp performance in Girl Hunters, she retired to raise a family after appearing in a few more mostly mediocre movies. Girl Hunters is quite gruesome and hard-edged (if not graphic) at times with a particularly nasty coda, but its central mystery is never quite resolved. Kenneth Talbot offers some superior black and white Panavision cinematography, and the film is well-directed and well-produced.

Verdict: Despite many imperfections, this is pretty good film noir. ***.

SPIES, SPIES, AND MORE SPIES

SPIES, SPIES, AND MORE SPIES. 

This week we look at a round up of spy movies and novels, including the latest James Bond feature, Spectre; two recent James Bond novels, Solo and Trigger Mortis (love that title!); three eurospy movies featuring Tom Adams as Charles Vine, Tony Kendall as Kommissar X, and Gordon Scott as Bart Fargo; a spy spoof, Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs, starring Vincent "Just give me the money" Price; and The Girl from Rio, which is not a spy movie as such but certainly borrows all the conventions of the genre. Some of these movies are fun; others are just dreadful, not "so bad they're good" but just bad. But that's what you get with this genre: either a slick piece of entertainment or pure schlock!

THE GIRL FROM RIO (1969)

Shirley Eaton as Sumuru  or Sumitra or Sumanda

THE GIRL FROM RIO (aka Rio 70/aka Die sieben Manner der Sumuru/1969). Director: Jess Franco.

In this pseudo-Eurospy movie and sort-of sequel to The Million Eyes of Sumuru, the arch-villainess who wants women to take over the world has created her own country of Femina. Sumuru (Shirley Eaton) kidnaps people and does other nefarious deeds to raise money for her all-female nation. A private eye named Jeff Sutton (Richard Wyler) has been hired to find his client's daughter, Ulla (Marta Reves), and cooks up a scheme to carry a suitcase allegedly filled with ten million dollars, figuring Sumuru is sure to nibble at the bait and take him to where Ulla is imprisoned. A weird character named Masius (George Sanders) has also heard about the money and orders his hit man, Carl (Herbert Fleischmann). to get it, meaning Jeff not only has to get Ulla out of Sumuru's jail but dodge attacks from Carl and his cronies. "Sumuru" first appeared in several novels by Sax Rohmer, the creator of Fu Manchu, but for some reason she is called "Sumanda" in this even as the closing credits list her name as "Sumitra." By any name, The Girl from Rio is an atrocious film, whose only purpose is to combine a trip to Rio for Carnivale with a tax loss. Eaton does her best, Sanders is as professional (and as wasted) as ever, and Wyler [The Strange Door] is also a capable enough actor, but the movie can best be described as a glorified home movie with terrible cinematography and typically poor Jess Franco direction. Sumuru keeps her prisoners in glass cells, half-naked, and entranced by a hypnotic mist. One scene has Jeff "tortured" by having several women crawling all over him and kissing him. The shame of this is that Rohmer's character was an interesting one, with fascinating aspects, but she's been reduced to a cartoon. The novels definitely had a homoerotic edge to them, although Sumuru was clearly interested in men, but in this movie the only sex she has is with another woman. The title tune is pleasant, although it reminds one of "The Girl from Ipanema." Most of the money for this film seems to have been spent on costumes for Eaton and the ladies. The script is by schlockmeister Harry Alan Towers, who also produced the film. Jess Franco's The Awful Dr. Orloff was not as awful as this. Rohmer's character later appeared in the 2003 film Sumuru.

Verdict: Interminable! *.

THE MILLION EYES OF SUMURU

Shirley Eaton as the evil Sumuru

 THE MILLION EYES OF SUMURU (1967).  Director: Lindsay Shonteff.

 Back in the 1950s Sax Rohmer, the creator of Fu   Manchu, decided to start another series about a  mysterious master villainess named Sumuru.  There were five books in this series. I've only  read two of the five books so far, and they are  fun, if below the fiendish and suspenseful level  of the Fu Manchu novels. But they are all  masterpieces compared to this woeful film  adaptation. In this Sumuru (Shirley Eaton), like  in the books, wants to create a new golden world  via her female helpmates and doesn't care who  she has to kill to get it. Tommy Carter (Frankie  Avalon) and Nick West (George Nader) are  some kind of agents out to stop Sumuru from various plots and assassinations. Million Eyes is cheap and cheap-looking, but the worst problem is the approach, which is meant to be light, even tongue-in-cheek, like a sixties spy film, but instead comes off as stupid. The shame of it is that Eaton [Your Past is Showing] not only looks beautiful in her dark wig but gives an excellent performance, perfectly embodying Sumuru in a way that would probably have pleased Sax Rohmer. The less said about Frankie Avalon, who wandered in from a beach party movie, and  George Nader [Shannon] the better. Nader was capable of some excellent performances, such as in a sixth season episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents, but he doesn't seem to have a clue as to how to play his role in a mish mosh like this. As in the novels, Sumuru has a habit of turning her enemies into stone. Wilfred Hyde-White adds a touch of class as Colonel Baisbrook and Klaus Kinski [Circus of Fear] is sort of fun as President Boong and his double. That same year James Coburn starred in In Like Flint, which was also about an all-female organization trying to take over the world. Maybe the screenwriter was a Sumuru fan.

Verdict: Both Sumuru and Sax Rohmer deserve better. Hell, even Frankie Avalon does! *1/2.

YOUR PAST IS SHOWING / THE NAKED TRUTH

YOUR PAST IS SHOWING aka THE NAKED TRUTH (1957). Director: Mario Zampi.

A man named Mr. Dennis (Dennis Price) pays a call on several individuals and tells them that they either pay him ten thousand in two weeks or he'll publish an embarrassing expose of their exploits in his new paper The Naked Truth. Some of his victims individually decide that the only way to take care of Mr. Price is to kill him -- with varying but always comical results. Terry-Thomas (pictured) and Peter Sellers are two of the victims, and a very funny team-up they are. Peggy Mount is a scream as writer Flora Ransom (who was "indiscreet" in her youth) and Joan Sims as her daughter Ethel is even funnier. Miles Malleson (Ransom's future husband), Georgina Cookson (Terry-Thomas' wife), and Shirley Eaton (another blackmail victim) add much to the fun. The movie goes in a lot of amusing directions which won't be revealed here. Suffice it to say, it's a lot of macabre fun with some really memorable sequences. And it provides more proof that Sellers was a comic genius.

Verdict: A darkly comic romp indeed. ***.