MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE

MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE (1999). Director: Luis Mandoki.

A reporter named Theresa (Robin Wright Penn) finds a note inside a bottle and determines to find out which man wrote this romantic missive to the woman he loved. It turns out to be fisherman Garret Blake (Kevin Costner), who penned the note to his dead wife. An awkward romance develops between the two while Garret's salty father, (Paul Newman) kibbitzes. Now and then Illeana Douglas, who also works at Theresa's office, pops her plug-ugly head in. They sure don't make romantic movies like they used to! Director Luis Mandoki moves things at a snail's pace, making the movie an effort to sit through. The acting is not bad at all, but it isn't enough to keep this from being a real snoozer.

Verdict: The kind of movie that gives "chick flick" a bad name. *1/2.

HAIR

HAIR (1979). Director: Milos Forman.

By the time this film version of the sixties "hippie" musical was released in 1979 it was already dated, and today it comes off less as a document of its time than as mind-numbing rot. A storyline was fashioned in which Claude (John Savage), a farm boy heading for Vietnam, runs into the hairy crew in Manhattan and becomes involved in their pretty stupid adventures, such as crashing a wedding reception and turning up on an Army base. The production numbers aren't very impressive and while some of the songs are snappy, only one -- "Easy to Be Hard" -- is really memorable. Sung with real panache by a young woman (Cheryl Barnes) who discovers that the father of her little boy may have made somebody else pregnant, the song not only looks at the underside of free love but deals with the interesting fact that there are people who care more about strangers -- the "bleeding" masses -- than they do about the people in their lives that they may have hurt. Treat Williams, Beverly D'Angelo, and Nell Carter are some of the others in the cast. Based on the musical by Gerome Ragni and James Rado.

Verdict: Forgettable but for the "Easy to be Hard" number. *1/2.

THE ONION FIELD

THE ONION FIELD (1979). Director: Harold Becker

In 1963 hoods Gregory Powell (James Woods) and Jimmy Smith (Franklin Seales) are stopped by cops James Campbell (Ted Danson) and Karl Hettinger (John Savage) but the hoods turn the tables and drive the policemen to an onion field. There Powell kills Campbell, but Hettinger manages to escape. [Hettinger turned over his gun after Powell threatened to shoot Campbell, but one cop theorizes that "only a coward lets a punk get his gun away from him."] The rest of the film details the trial, the emotional aftermath for Hettinger, and so on, but there are too many under-developed characters and except for the moving final scene the film keeps the viewer at a emotional distance. This is not only due to Joseph Wambaugh's unsatisfactory script (based on his book), but Harold Becker's perfunctory direction, and actors who are good but never seem to quite get a handle on their characters. The one exception is Franklin Seales, who is very vivid as the confused, frightened Jimmy. The picture holds the attention at first but meanders and goes into too many different directions without resolution.

Verdict: Disappointing, but some good acting. **1/2.