THE LAW AND THE LADY

THE LAW AND THE LADY (1951). Director: Edwin H. Knopf.

"At my age a good cook is more important than a husband." --Marjorie Main

Another version of The Last of Mrs. Cheney -- Norma Shearer and Joan Crawford did the others -- with Greer Garson and Michael Wilding as a lovable team of jewel thieves and rogues at the turn of the century. Jane Hoskins (Garson), with the help of Wilding, the brother of her former employer, reinvents herself as "Lady Jane Loverly" and becomes welcomed in American society, especially the home of wealthy old Julia Wortin (Marjorie Main), who has a fabulously valuable necklace. Fernando Lamas, Margalo Gillmore, Hayden Rourke, and Natalie Schafer all add to the fun as various guests and suitors. The movie gets kind of silly and unreal toward the end, to say the least, but it never quite loses its sense of humor. Speaking of which, it's definitely fun to see Marjorie Main as a lady in society! Soledad Jimenez scores as Lamas' peppery grandmother. This is arguably the best screen version of Frederick Lonsdale's play.

Verdict: Light and snappy for the most part. ***.

THE BRASS BOTTLE

The genie goes flying!

THE BRASS BOTTLE (1964). Director: Harry Keller.

Harold Ventimore (Tony Randall of No Down Payment) is an architect hoping to get some choice assignments from his boss, Mr. Beever (Philip Ober). He is engaged to Sylvia (Barbara Eden of The Yellow Canary), whose father Anthony (Edward Andrews) heartily disapproves of him, thinking he's a complete kook. This opinion is not revised when Harold acquires a large bottle that turns out to hold an ancient genie, Fakrash (Burl Ives), who in gratitude for being freed after thousands of years wants to do anything and everything he can for Harold. Unfortunately, Fakrash' notions are quite a bit dated and even dangerous ... Eventually Harold tries to convince everyone that Frakrash is exactly who he says it is, but it may be more difficult than he imagines. 

Burl Ives with Kamala Devi

The Brass Bottle is an absolutely delightful comedy fantasy with a wonderful performance from Burl Ives as the genie. Perhaps hoping to ground the story a bit more Randell underplays and probably isn't as amusing as he could have been, but this approach works fine. Eden is lovely, as is Kamala Devi, who plays a rather independent female genie named Tezra. Andrews, Ober, and Ann Doran as Eden's mother are all swell, as are Parley Baer as a potential client for Harold, and Richard Erdman and Kathie Browne as a couple who are Harold's unconventional buddies. At one point Fakrash reduces some authorities to tiny stature and has them desperately clinging to a pencil in a pitcher of water! Not much later Eden played a genie herself in I Dream of Jeannie. Harry Keller also directed several melodramas starring George Nader such as The Female Animal. 

Verdict: Charming, with a very satisfying conclusion! ***1/2. 

PASSPORT TO PIMLICO

The wonderful Margaret Rutherford

PASSPORT TO PIMLICO (1949). Director: Henry Cornelius.

After discovering a cache of treasure hidden under the streets, the residents of the district of Pimlico in Post-WW2 London discover documents that (in a convoluted way) actually make them residents of Burgundy. Then a handsome Duke of Burgundy (Paul Dupuis) shows up and begins romancing one of the local women. At first the residents playfully refuse to follow certain British rules -- such as shutting the pubs down at a certain hour -- because, after all, they aren't Londoners but Burgundians.  Unfortunately, this excites and dismays the British parliament and before long the residents of Pimlico find themselves mired in red tape and having to cross customs just to leave or enter their own district. In true British fashion, they decide to fight back and display their English tenaciousness. Okay. This is a cute idea and it does have some amusing sequences, but it gets bogged down way before its over, and its attempt to create characters you actually care about don't quite hit the mark. Most of the cast is unknown on American shores with the exception of Hermione Baddeley, Stanley Holloway, and the wonderful Margaret Rutherford, who plays a historian with her customary panache and enlivens every scene she's in. If only there were more of them!

Verdict: One of those quaint British movies that you can either take or leave. **1/2.

COPACABANA

COPACABANA  (1947). Director: Alfred E. Green.

Lionel Deveraux (Groucho Marx) is a manager with one client, Carmen Navarro (Carmen Miranda), to whom he's been engaged for ten years. When he tries to get her work at a nightclub owned by Steve Hunt (Steve Cochran), Hunt tells him that he prefers a French singer. Enter the always veiled Mlle. Fifi,  who is Carmen in disguise. Hunt hires the French doll, then decides he wants Miss Navarro as well. So Carmen does her best to keep up a hectic performance schedule without anybody knowing that both performers are actually the same woman. The interplay between Marx and Miranda, who make a great team, is priceless, and the other performers are game. Gloria Jean is charming as Hunt's secretary, Anne, who pines for him even as he pursues Fifi. Singer Andy Russell, who plays himself, has a very nice voice and is easy to take. Miranda may not be a brilliant performer, but it's hard not to like her, and Groucho is as wonderful as ever. Some nice songs include "Strange Things Have Happened." The film is full of chorus cuties who trade wisecracks with Marx, and there are guest appearances by columnists Abel Green, Louis Sobol, and Earl Wilson.

Verdict: This may not be a Night at the Opera, but it's very amusing and charming. ***.

PHFFFT

Judy Holliday and Luella Gear

PHFFT (1954). Director: Mark Robson.

Their eight-year marriage having grown stale, Nina and Robert Tracey (Judy Holliday and Jack Lemmon) decide to call it quits. Nina gets advice from her mother, Edith (Luella Gear of Carefree), while Robert moves in with and is sort of adopted by his best buddy, playboy Charlie Nelson (Jack Carson of The Groom Wore Spurs). Charlie importunes Robert to date the beautiful but intellectually-challenged Janis (Kim Novak). Although they both seem happy to be divorced and on their own, the truth is that Nina and Robert are having trouble moving on -- maybe they're still in love with each other? 

Jack Lemmon and Jack Carson

That same year Holliday and Lemmon, in his first picture, teamed up for the truly dreadful It Should Happen to You. Fortunately Lemmon survived that debacle and teamed again with Holliday and this time the results were more felicitous. Based on an early play by George Axelrod, Phffft hardly has the most original premise or situations -- the problems of divorced couples having trouble moving on because they're still in love were a staple of movies of the golden age -- but there is enough humor in the film to make it palatable, and the performances by the entire cast really put it over. Highlights include a scene when Nina and Robert, both with their own dates, wind up dancing the mambo together on the dance floor, and especially the hilarious climax, when Nina and Charlie Nelson have a disastrous date. These are three fine actors working at the top of their form, with good support from Novak and an excellent Luella Gear helping add to the fun. 

Verdict: A great cast makes this work. ***.

DON'T JUST STAND THERE

Mary Tyler Moore and Robert Wagner just read the script

DON'T JUST STAND THERE (1968). Director: Ron Winston. 

Martine Randall (Mary Tyler Moore of Just Between Friends) works for romance novelist Sabine Manning (Glynis Johns of The Cabinet of Caligari), who has run off to who-knows-where. Kendall Flannigan (Barbara Rhoades) is hired to finish Manning's latest opus, but after she is accused of killing her boyfriend she is kidnapped by his gangster friends. Martine hires Lawrence Colby (Robert Wagner of Say One for Me) to finish the book, and he winds up affecting a rescue of Kendall. And it gets more confusing and stupider after that. 

Wagner and Moore went in disguise after pic's release

I'm afraid that Don't Just Stand There is one of those alleged comedies that is simply busy and frenetic instead of funny. I believe I laughed exactly once during the entire hour and forty minutes. Moore and Johns must have been appalled at the results if and when they saw this incredibly bad movie disaster. Both, especially Moore, are capable of being funny, but the script defeats them. Even Harvey Korman in a supporting role doesn't garner a single laugh. This is the first film for Barbara Rhoades and she's lucky it wasn't her last. Glynis Johns at least isn't on screen for that long. Charles Williams, who wrote the book (The Wrong Venus) this was based on also wrote the screenplay, so he has to get much of the blame. Possibly this was never meant to be a comedy? 

Verdict: Atrocious film is an effort to sit through despite some good players. *. 

THE PRINCE AND THE SHOWGIRL

Lord Olivier and La Monroe

THE PRINCE AND THE SHOWGIRL (1957). Director: Laurence Olivier.

"We are not dealing with an adult but an unruly child."

On the eve of the coronation of the new British King in 1911 London, the Grand Ducal Highness of the Balkan nation of Carpatha, AKA Charles (Laurence Olivier), invites a pretty American showgirl named Elsie (Marilyn Monroe) to supper at the Carpathian embassy. Alas, the Grand Duke doesn't realize that Elsie is a lot smarter than she looks -- and not quite as "easy" as he hopes. During the night and the following day, the two argue and banter, and Elsie manages to wend her way into Carpathian politics and  more via the Duke's son Nicky (Jeremy Spenser), soon to be king, and the prickly if lovable Queen Dowager (Sybil Thorndike). The cast in this entertaining if overlong comedy, including Jean Kent as an actress friend of Charles and Richard Wattis as Northbrook, a liaison, is uniformly excellent. Olivier is fine as the rather stuffy if amorous duke, and Monroe is natural, unaffected and marvelous -- luminescent, in fact -- as Elsie. I'm not the first to think that she sort of out-acts Olivier at times, but both are splendid. The ending is a bit strange, but this is a colorful, unusual picture.

Verdict: The High and the Horny. ***.

THE COWBOY AND THE BLONDE

THE COWBOY AND THE BLONDE (1941). Director: Ray McCary.

"Oh, you beautiful dope!"

Actress Crystal Wayne (Mary Beth Hughes), a complete bitch, is softened when she falls in love with a hopeful new cowboy star, Lank Garrett (George Montgomery), which is just as well because Garrett proves to be a hopeless actor except when he's doing love scenes with Crystal. The couple have a series of dumb misunderstandings throughout the 64 minute movie, which seems three hours long. Alan Mowbray plays Crystal's liaison in the studio. Minerva Urecal shows up for a minute or two. It's hard to believe this dog was actually released by 20th Century-Fox, as it looks like nothing so much as a poverty row item with an undistinguished cast. Hughes is at least somewhat vivid as Crystal; Montgomery has some charm but little else. This "comedy" has not got one single real laugh in it.

Verdict: 64 minutes long and only one half-hearted chuckle! *.

THE BANK DICK

THE BANK DICK (1940). Director: Edward F. Cline.

W. C. Fields is simply splendid as Egbert Souse (pronounced Sousay, and don't you forget it!), who inadvertently foils a bank robbery and is given a job as a bank guard as a reward. Egbert's future son-in-law, Og (the wonderful Grady Sutton) borrows money from the bank for an investment opportunity and discovers to his horror that the bank examiner J. Pinkteron Snoopington (the superb Franklin Pangborn) is in town to look over the books! Egbert does what he can to prevent Snoopington from discovering the missing loot until Og can return it and has other assorted misadventures as well, even winding up directing a film. Una Merkel and Cora Witherspoon are terrific as members of Egbert's family. Jan Duggan from The Old-Fashioned Way has a cameo as a customer in the bank, and Pierre Watkin [Atom Man vs. Superman] is actually excellent as the bank president.

Verdict: This is a very funny and well-acted movie. ***1/2.

THE MEANEST GAL IN TOWN

Zazu Pitts and El Brendel

THE MEANEST GAL IN TOWN (1934).  Director: Russell Mack. 

Tillie Prescott (Zazu Pitts) owns a small town clothing store and has been keeping company with barber Chris Peterson (El Brendel) for a decade. Chris tells her he won't marry her until he can afford a second barber chair. Tillie decides to splurge on $300 for the chair, but discovers that Chris has installed a sexy lady -- a stranded actress named Lulu (Pert Kelton) -- as his manicurist. Tillie stops speaking to Chris and winds up being taken advantage of by a slick salesman named Jack (Skeets Gallagher). Chris determines to get Tillie's store back for her while Jack and Duke Slater (James Gleason) compete for the favors of Lulu. Will true love win out in the end?

Pert Kelton as Lulu

 The Meanest Gal in Town is a cute picture with good performances and many funny moments. Pert Kelton was the original Alice on The Honeymooners -- first playing the character on Cavalcade of Stars -- and also played Marion the Librarian's mother in The Music Man. Mae West had appeared in two or three films by 1934 and Kelton at times seems to be channeling her (perhaps deliberately), although in general Kelton has her own style. 

Verdict: Amiable comedy with gifted players. ***. 

VISIT TO A SMALL PLANET

Jerry Lewis

VISIT TO A SMALL PLANET (1960). Director: Norman Taurog.  

Intergalactic visitor Kreton (Jerry Lewis of The Patsy) has a fascination with Earth and attaches himself to a family that consists of businessman Roger Spelding (Fred Clark), wife Rheba (Lee Patrick), and daughter Ellen (Joan Blackman), whose horny boyfriend is Conrad (Earl Holliman of Hot Spell). Apparently Kreton's race has given up sex eons ago so he is fascinated whenever Ellen and Conrad make out. Roger has a neighbor named Mayberry (Gale Gordon), who is convinced the earth is being visited by flying saucers and extraterrestrials, which Roger thinks is utter poppycock until Kreton shows off his abilities. For one thing, whenever Roger or anyone else tries to tell anyone the truth about their visitor, all that comes out of their mouths is "Mary Had a Little lamb." Despite the irritation that Kreton may cause him, Roger appreciates it when he helps him with his boss, Abercrombie (Jerome Cowan). But it isn't long before the authorities take an interest in Kreton ... 

Lee Patrick, Jerry Lewis, and Fred Clark

Visit to a Small Planet is suggested by a play by Gore Vidal, who satirized McCarthyism. All that has been jettisoned to make way for the comedic style of Lewis, which actually fits the basic plot pretty well. Lewis is fine as the lovably dopey Kreton, although he gets competition from Lee Patrick, who is also lovably dopey. Clark, Gordon, Cowan and Holliman are all as professional as ever. Joan Blackman was introduced in this movie although she had already had a few credits; she later did a couple of films with Elvis. Ever-dignified John Williams (of Midnight Lace) is bizarre and perfect casting as Delton, the head of the extraterrestrials, and Ellen Corby is fun as Gordon's wife. Barbara Bostock makes a positive impression as Desdemona, who sings a weird ditty and dances with Lewis in a beatnik coffee shop scene. 

Verdict: Highly imperfect and often silly, but cute and well-acted as well. **3/4. 

THE GREAT RUPERT

THE GREAT RUPERT (1950). Director: Irving Pichel. 

Now here's a weird one. A down-on-his-luck entertainer, Joe Mahoney (Jimmy Conlin), with a trained squirrel act, reluctantly lets the squirrel, Rupert, go off on his own when he finds he can't get them bookings. Louie Amendola (Jimmy Durante), another entertainer who can't find work, moves into the apartment vacated by Mahoney with his family, but is unaware that the squirrel has moved back in. When Mrs. Amendola (Queenie Smith) prays for money, it drops from the ceiling into her hands! She is unaware that the landlord, who doesn't believe in banks, stashes his loot in a hole behind his bed, from whence the squirrel promptly throws it out. Despite the title, and the pivotal role that Rupert plays in the fortunes of the Amendola family, the squirrel -- animated through stop-motion -- hasn't much to do in the movie (although he isn't entirely forgotten either), which is decidedly bizarre, utterly original, and even strangely touching. The cast, including Durante, Sara Haden (as the landlord's wife), Chick Chandler (as an agent) and Terry Moore (Durante's daughter) are all fine, although love interest Tom Drake is strangely devoid of charm. 

Verdict: Really not as bad as you might expect, but certainly not for everyone. ***.

A ROYAL SCANDAL

William Eythe and Tallulah Bankhead

A ROYAL SCANDAL (1945). Produced by Ernest Lubitsch. Directed by Otto Preminger. 

Devoted Russian soldier Lt. Alexei Chernoff (William Eythe), hearing of a plot against his empress, Catherine the Great, dares all to rush to her side and warn her. Catherine (Tallulah Bankhead) already knows of the plot but is almost instantly smitten with the handsome Alexei. Although Alexei is engaged to the countess Anna (Anne Baxter), it isn't long before he is ensconced in the palace, the commander of the palace guards -- and a colonel to boot. Knowing that Catherine has undoubtedly had a long line of "commanders" as lovers, Anna is not about to take this lying down. But Catherine is hardly the type to put up with insubordination either from her ladies-in-waiting or from her lovers. The fur will fly!

Anne Baxter, Charles Coburn, William Eythe

A Royal Scandal is a very funny royal farce with an outstanding performance from Tallulah Bankhead who brilliantly mines every comic gem in the script. William Eythe and Anne Baxter are no slouches and deliver excellent performances, and we also have adept and amusing work from Charles Coburn as the Chancellor, Sig Ruman as General Ronsky, Vincent Price as the French ambassador, Misha Auer as Captain Sukov, Grady Sutton as Ronsky's nephew, and others. Briskly directed and with a notable theme by Alfred Newman, this is a real treat. William Eythe was a talented actor who died tragically young at 38. Although he had a brief and unsuccessful marriage, he was the boyfriend of actor Lon McCallister. Eythe somewhat resembled Tyrone Power and had a voice that reminds one of Audie Murphy. 

Verdict: Delightful and stylish comedy with engaging and highly adept players. ***1/2. 

THE DELICIOUS LITTLE DEVIL

THE DELICIOUS LITTLE DEVIL (1919). 

Mary (Mae Murray) loses her job as a coat check girl when she lingers too long and lovingly on a beautiful fur piece, so she reinvents herself as the notorious real-life Gloria Du Moine, who was in a scandal with the equally notorious Duke De Sauterne. Through this subterfuge she manages to get a job as a dancer at the Peace Tree Inn roadhouse. There she captivates a frequent patron, Jimmy Calhoun (Rudolph Valentino), who's the son of a millionaire contractor (Edward Jobson). Hoping she'll prove too crass for the boy, the elder Calhoun throws a party for "Gloria" -- and who should show up? This is a cute if minor comedy with Murray in good form and Valentino, in an early appearance, looking dapper and handsome. The sprightly musical score helps a lot. 

Verdict: Not that delicious but definitely appetizing. **1/2.

THE MOUSE ON THE MOON

Ron Moody and Margaret Rutherford

THE MOUSE ON THE MOON (1963). Director: Richard Lester.

A crisis develops in the little duchy of Grand Fenwick, the smallest nation in the world, when their chief and only export, wine, inexplicably develops explosive properties. The Prime Minister, Count Mountjoy (Ron Moody) hopes to borrow half a million from the United States to install modern-day plumbing throughout the duchy, but tells the government that they need the money for their space program so as not to sound silly. The U.S. gives Grand Fenwick a million dollars -- a ploy by the Secretary of State. Not to be outdone, the Russians send a rocket to the country, which Mountjoy hopes to transform into indoor plumbing. However, scientist Kokintz (David Kossoff) decides to use the wine as fuel so as to send the rocket on a trip to the moon. Delegates from the US and USSR arrive to see if the professor can actually pull it off. Going with him on the trip is Mountjoy's son, Vincent (Bernard Cribbins of Frenzy).

The Mouse on the Moon, a sequel to The Mouse That Roared, has a cute idea, and there are quite a few laughs, especially in the first half, but it still comes off as second-rate. Margaret Rutherford as the dotty Grand Duchess is as fun and appealing as ever, but she isn't given nearly enough to do. Ron Moody gets the lion's share of the action, and he's fine, but not quite as amusing as you might hope. Once the rocket heads for the moon, the picture turns into a poor imitation of First Men in the Moon with its equally unscientific voyage into space. Terry-Thomas is cast as a spy, and June Ritchie is Mountjoy's niece, who gets involved with Vincent. Twenty years later Richard Lester directed Superman III. In The Mouse That Roared Peter Sellers played both the Grand Duchess and Count Mountjoy! 

Verdict: Very pleasant -- and pleasantly satirical -- in spots, but overall a disappointment. **1/2. 

SOUTH SEA WOMAN

Burt Lancaster and Virginia Mayo

SOUTH SEA WOMAN (1953). Director: Arthur Lubin. 

Through a series of misadventures Sergeant James O'Hearn (Burt Lancaster), his buddy and rival Davey (Chuck Connors), and the woman, Ginger (Virginia Mayo), that Davey is in love with wind up on an isolated island that seems untouched by the war except that any soldiers there wind up in jail. O'Hearn only pretends that he's gone AWOL, but Davey wants no part of the war, with the result that O'Hearn, of all people, winds up court-martialed. The movie is a long flashback detailing how he wound up in such a situation with the story veering from Shanghai to the French island of Namou. Too much talk in the courtroom sequences slows the movie down but there's some good action near the end when a commandeered yacht helmed by O'Hearn takes on the Japanese fleet! The three leads all give very good performances, as does Viola Vonn as the Frenchwoman Lillie Duval, and Arthur Shields [Daughter of Dr. Jekyll] as another resident of the island. Paul Burke plays an ensign at the court martial. 

Verdict: Entertaining if unremarkable. **1/2.

THE SHAGGY DOG (1959)

THE SHAGGY DOG (1959). Director: Charles Barton. 

Fred MacMurray's career was given a new lease on life when he signed to do this silly comedy for Disney Studios and it became a tremendous hit. Wilson Daniels (MacMurray) is a mailman who hates dogs. A magic spell turns his older son Wilby (Tommy Kirk) into a sheepdog -- or rather he takes over the body of a neighbor's sheepdog -- and he turns back at awkward moments. This charming and amusing comedy for children is a bit dragged out by a heavy-handed spy plot that develops late in the picture -- it also has a rather slow pace -- but it has enough laughs to keep you interested if you're game and MacMurray is splendid. There are also good performances from Kirk; Kevin Corcoran as his brother, Moochie; Tim Considine as his girl-crazy pal, Buzz; Jean Hagen as his mother; Cecil Kellaway as a professor; and especially that amazing dog who plays Chiffon. (Watching the animal go through its paces, you sometimes have to remind yourself that it hasn't a human brain but is just a dog.) Annette Funicello and Roberta Shore are the young ladies; Alexander Scourby is head of the spies. NOTE: To read about a fine biography of Fred MacMurray, click here. 

Verdict: Watch Chiffon go for a drive! ***.

THE HAPPY TIME

Charles Boyer and Bobby Driscoll

THE HAPPY TIME (1952). Director: Richard Fleischer. Produced by Stanley Kramer.

Three brothers -- (Jacques) Charles Boyer, (Desmond) Louis Jourdan, and (Louis) Kurt Kasznar -- interact in 1920's Ottawa, but the focus in this film is more on Jacques' son, Robert or "Bibi" (Bobby Driscoll). Bibi develops quite a crush on the maid, Mignonette (Linda Christian), although Desmond and Mignonette are attracted to each other. Louis is a wastrel and drunk who is married to a seeming shrew, Felice (Jeanette Nolan), who fears her daughter, Yvonne (Ann Faber), will become an old maid. The brothers' father, Grandpere (Marcel Dalio), just wants to have a good time in what time he has remaining. Then Bibi is accused of lying to the principal, Frye (Jack Raine), and the three brothers, united, decide to have a serious talk with the man.  

Louis Jourdan and Linda Christian

The Happy Time settles most of the characters' problems in predictable fashion, but there is a pleasant time in getting there. The performances are uniformly excellent. Based on a Broadway show, the film's two biggest problems are its trivialism of alcoholism and its treatment of some of the female characters. Louis is clearly a hopeless drunk, but no one ever spares any compassion for his wife, whose shrill personality didn't come out of nowhere; her daughter is never developed at all. Marsha Hunt is fine in her brief screen time as Jacques' wife and Bibi's mother, but she also seems under-developed. Mignonette fares a little better, as does the next-door neighbor girl, Peggy (Marlene Cameron), who has an unrequited crush on Bibi and lies to the principal to get even with him.  

Richard Erdman and Kurt Kasznar

Two scenes stand out in the movie. The first is a farcical and funny bit between Louis and Alfred (Richard Erdman), a tight-assed bank clerk who wants to marry Yvonne and accidentally gets drunk on wine that Louis keeps in a cooler. The second is a very well-played scene between Jacques and Bibi which temporarily becomes a little more sophisticated than the rest of the film. Jacques explains to his son that (sexual) desire has caused so many problems in the world that people -- such as the principal -- have come to see desire itself as being evil, but he assures his son that "nothing is wrong with desire." Linda Christian was married to Tyrone Power for a time. Richard Fleischer later directed Fantastic Voyage and many others. 

Verdict: Overly cute at times, but very well-acted, entertaining, and often charmingly sentimental. ***.

EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK

EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX BUT WERE AFRAID TO ASK (1972). Director: Woody Allen. 

Woody Allen took some questions from the book of the same name and filmed several segments supposedly relating to these questions. "Do aphrodisiacs work?" is a very funny medieval sketch where Allen winds up with his hand locked in the chastity belt of his horny married queen (an excellent Lynn Redgrave). "What is Sodomy?" actually looks at bestiality as Gene Wilder plays a doctor who falls in love with a sheep. It's a bit yucky, like anything pertaining to the subject, but it has its moments. 

"Why do some women have trouble reaching orgasm?" is a spoof of Italian movies with Allen discovering that his wife (Louise Lasser) only gets turned on in public places. "Are transvestites homosexual?" presents Lou Jacobi (who's terrific) as a husband who gets caught wearing the clothing of his hostess at a dinner party. "What are sex perverts?" first has a homoerotic hair tonic ad, and then presents an episode of the TV show What's My Perversion? an erotic take on What's My Line? "Are Sex Research Findings Accurate?" has John Carradine letting loose a giant breast upon the world in a spoof of monster movies. In "What happens during ejaculation?" Woody plays a nervous sperm who doesn't really like the idea of being thrust out into the big wide womb. This is probably the most inventive segment. Everything You Always Wanted to Know is certainly not for all tastes but it has its share of laughs and holds the attention. You'll probably learn no more about sex than you did from the book. 

Verdict: Watch out for giant boobs! ***.

STINGAREE

STINGAREE (1934). Director: William Wellman. "

You'll be just as safe here -- as you want to be." 

Bizarre but likable comedy-drama-musical-what-the hell? with Irene Dunne as Hilda Bouverie, who desperately wants a career as a singer, and Richard Dix as "Stingaree," a notorious 1874 Australian bandit who wants to make it happen for her -- even if at gunpoint. Unintentional hilarity ensues when Dunne begins singing Lucia di Lammermoor (off-screen) at all the great opera houses -- Dunne has a lovely, perhaps even an operetta-type voice, but Renata Tebaldi she ain't! However, she's as charming as ever in this film. What can one say about Richard Dix except that he's devoid of looks and insouciance and is more at home in those Whistler movies. The movie needed a Tyrone Power type and that Dix is not, although he's at least professional. As others have noted, nobody wants to see the delightful Mary Boland as a mean-spirited bitch, which she is in this film. When she sings (a dubbed voice that is not operatic-great but hardly terrible) another character says: "Being shot right now would be a blessed relief!" Jealous of Hilda's youth and talent, Boland is the type of singer who blames the accompanist for her own inadequacies. There are many amusing moments in the film, an interesting sequence when Hilda hears off-stage gunshots (has her beloved been shot?) at a concert, and the songs, especially "Tonight is Mine," are lovely. So fast-paced that it doesn't give you much time to ponder the absurdity of it all. Una O'Connor is fun as ever as a maid-companion. 

Verdict: Stupid but cute. ***.