VALENTINO (1977)

VALENTINO (1978). Director: Ken Russell. 

Ken Russell takes the life of Rudolph Valentino (Rudolf Nureyev) and gives it the usual camp-grotesque treatment that he favors. Leslie Caron overacts (or was directed to overact) as Nazimova; Michelle Phillips (of The Mamas and the Papas) is barely adequate as Natasha Rambova. Other familiar faces in the cast are Anton Diffring as a cabaret owner; Linda Thorson ("Tara King" of TV's The Avengers) as a dance hall hostess; Huntz Hall of the Bowery Boys as Jesse Lasky; Carol Kane as an actress-friend of Fatty Arbuckle's; Seymour Cassel as an agent; John Ratzenberger of Cheers as a reporter. Russell himself plays Rex Ingram. Hall and Kane are simply mediocre. Some of the bad acting probably has to be attributed to Russell's lack of flair with actors. Nureyev, however, has charm and charisma and sometimes even hits the mark with his acting, but a different director might have brought out an even better performance. The picture really only comes alive when Rudy dances; especially good is Valentino's tango with Nijinski (Anthony Dowell) early in the picture. This is even worse than the 1951 Valentino; there is no attempt at characterization to speak of. Worse, the movie is actually quite boring. Russell wants so bad to be hip, but the dumb, homophobic humor works against it, as does just about everything else. By the way, the climactic boxing match never actually happened, which is true of most of the picture. 

Verdict: Turn it off after the tango. Another freak show from one of the worst film directors ever. *.

WONDER MAN

Danny Kaye meets Danny Kaye

WONDER MAN (1945). Director: H. Bruce Humberstone.

Witness to a gangland killing, club entertainer Buzzy Bellew (Danny Kaye) is bumped off at the direction of mobster Ten Grand Jackson (Steve Cochran).  Before you can say Topper, his ghost importunes his nerdier twin brother, Edwin (also Danny Kaye), to impersonate him until the murderers are found, which creates an obvious and dangerous disadvantage. Buzzy can not be seen by anyone, and can take over Edwin's body whenever he wants, but this often causes more problems than it solves. Added complications are that Buzzy was supposed to get married to long-time beau Midge (Vera-Ellen) while Edwin has fallen for beautiful librarian, Ellen (Virginia Mayo), who cares for him but comes to think he's demented. Will all of this ever get straightened out, and will anyone give a damn? Perhaps I'd seen too many Danny Kaye movies in a row, but Wonder Man didn't work for me at all. Kaye is a talented performer, but his shtick can be unfunny and wearisome at times. Meant to be whimsical, the plot of Wonder Man is actually rather depressing, as is Buzzy's jaunty attitude about being deceased (Since he's dead, Midge simply goes off and marries someone else, and seemingly forgets her fiance in a second without shedding a tear, but then Buzzy seems to forget about Midge as well! That's love for ya!) On the plus side, Vera-Ellen does a splendid dance routine and the performances in the picture are all good. Steve Cochran [The Big Operator], who, like Mayo, appeared with Kaye several times, gets a much smaller role this time, but we get appearances from Huntz Hall [Valentino] as a sailor, and "Cuddles" Sakall as a delicatessen owner who is very amusing, as is Gisela Werbisek as his wife. Otto Kruger [Beauty for Sale] is a district attorney, and Natalie Schafer shows up briefly as a patroness of the arts who finds Edwin fascinating if a little too strange. The worst thing about the movie is that it has the temerity to try to ape A Night at the Opera by including a climactic bit on the opera stage (they even use music from Verdi's Il trovatore, as in the Marx Brothers film). This seemingly endless scene not only isn't very funny, but it suffers mightily in comparison to that Marx brothers masterpiece.

Verdict: Not Kaye's finest hour and a half. *1/2. 

PRIVATE BUCKEROO

Maxene, Patti and LaVerne Andrews

PRIVATE BUCKEROO (1942). Director: Edward F. Cline.

When band leader Harry James, playing himself, is drafted, his singer Lon Prentice (Dick Foran), decides to enlist. His sergeant is "Muggsy" Shavel (Shemp Howard of the Three Stooges), who is engaged to Bonnie (Mary Wickes), who finds herself drawn to another singer and comic, Biff (Joe E. Lewis). Lon finds himself on the outs with his fellow soldiers because he requests and (inexplicably) receives special privileges, which doesn't help when he tries to romance Joyce (Jennifer Holt). Meanwhile the top-billed Andrews Sisters perform both in James' nightclub and on the base, wouldn't you know? Private Buckeroo, which is the name of a song warbled by Foran, is modestly entertaining, without much of a plot, but it has its charms, chief among them the Andrews Sisters performing "Tell It to the Marines" and "Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree." There is also a nifty dance number done by a bunch of talented teenagers, and Dick Foran delivers a fine rendition of "Nobody Knows the Troubles I've Seen." Shemp Howard and Mary Wickes make a winning combo; Dick Foran [Violent Road], who started out as a band singer and eventually became an excellent dramatic actor, has a very nice baritone; and Susan Levine makes an adorable "Tagalong," Joyce's little sister. Donald O'Connor, Peggy Ryan, and Huntz Hall have smaller roles. Harry James plays a mean trumpet, but he proves not to be much of an actor. This is a rare opportunity to see the real singer-comedian Joe E. Lewis, who was played by Frank Sinatra (who looked nothing like Lewis) in The Joker is Wild. Lewis is rather amusing in this as he squares off with rival Shemp Howard.

Verdict: More than passable patriotic Universal musical. **1/2.

SEA RAIDERS

SEA RAIDERS (12 chapter Universal serial/1941). Directors: Ford Beebe; John Rawlins.

The Dead End Kids and the Little Tough Guys join forces in this serial to take on a group called the Sea Raiders, who destroy Allied ships. Billy Adams (Billy Halop) and his buddies, including Toby (Huntz Hall) and Bilge (Gabriel Dell), are shanghaied by crooks, encounter the Raiders, and are eventually taken to their island headquarters. Billy has an older brother, square-jawed Tom (John McGuire), who's invented a new kind of torpedo, the plans for which are coveted by Tonjes (Reed Hadley), the leader of the Raiders. There are two women running around, the pretty Leah (Marcia Ralston, who resembles Merle Oberon), and the homely Aggie (Mary Field). One decent cliffhanger has one of the boys caught on a rope that is attached to a whale that's about to dive deep into the ocean, although another sequence features an octopus that doesn't appear to be in the same movie. [The same stock footage of a fight between a shark and an octopus later turned up in The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms.] The serial is hampered by the unfunny and irritating antics of the "kids," and the classical music on the soundtrack, such as The Barber of Seville, is always inappropriate. John McGuire had the lead in Stranger on the Third Floor.

Verdict: One of your lesser cliffhanger serials. **.

BRING ON THE GIRLS

BRING ON THE GIRLS (1945). Director: Sidney Lanfield.

"You're a real tin horn. First you tried to buy me off and now you're trying love. Well, that won't work, either."

J. Newport Bates (Eddie Bracken), who has twenty million dollars, is sick of people liking him just because he's rich, so he joins the Navy incognito with Phil (Sonny Tufts) as a kind of chaperon. Just his luck to run into a gold digger, Teddy (Veronica Lake), on his first night out, although Sonny, who was once involved with Teddy, mistakenly thinks his charge has actually fallen for society singer Sue (Marjorie Reynolds). There are a few complications before everything is worked out. Sonny Tufts sings a couple of novelty numbers, and Reynolds also does a couple of songs, all of which are forgettable. Lake is saucy, Reynolds is pretty and competent, Bracken is Bracken, and I'm not sure what to make of Sonny Tufts, who doesn't disgrace himself but who lacks a certain something. In any case as the butler, August, Alan Mowbray steals the whole movie away from everyone else in one brief scene when he thinks Bracken is deaf and tells him what he really thinks of him. Huntz Hall and Noel Neill have smaller roles and Marietta Cantry is fun as the maid, Ida. Joan Woodbury of Brenda Starr, Reporter plays another gold digger and Norma Varden plays Bracken's Aunt Martha with her customary aplomb. There are a few amusing moments.

Verdict: At least it's in Technicolor. **1/2.

SPOOKS RUN WILD

SPOOKS RUN WILD (1941). Director: Phil Rosen.

"A white spider! That must be the ghost of the black widdah!"

The Eastside Kids/Bowery Boys/whoever-the-hell-they-are go off to a summer camp near where a maniac killer is supposed to be on the loose. On an outing, one of them, Pee Wee (David Gorcey), is injured, and his pals take him to a gothic mansion inhabited by Bela Lugosi and his assistant, who happens to be a dwarf. But if Bela is the bad guy, then who is that bearded stranger who's walking off with the nominal heroine, Linda (Dorothy Short)? Skeletons and chains of armor walk about in the ghostly estate.

This isn't as much fun as it sounds; in fact, it isn't any fun at all. There are only two good things about it: Bela Lugosi has as much presence as ever, gives a good performance that the film doesn't deserve, and is even convincing when he plays at being scared at one point. Also, African-American Ernest Morrison seems to have been given more to do than usual, and does it well, even if it's the usual thing given to black actors in comedies of the period, especially those with "haunted" houses in them. I suppose the film should also be given points for showing that one can't always judge by appearances. Otherwise, this hasn't got a single laugh, except for the "gay" twist at the end when Muggs (Leo Gorcey) goes into a magician's cabinet after a sexy blond and winds up practically necking with one of the fellas!

Muggs is as irritating as ever, while Huntz Hall does his usual simpering routine. Bobby Jordan, David Gorcey (Leo's better-looking brother), and Morrison have much more appealing personalities. Dave O'Brien plays Jeff, Linda's boyfriend.

Verdict: Low-brow, low-class, and for the most part, low entertainment. *.

JUNIOR G-MEN

JUNIOR G-MEN (1940). 12 chapter Universal serial. Directed by Ford Beebe and John Rawlins.

In this serial a few members of the Dead End Kids and Little Tough Guys basically play variations of their usual personas. Billy Barton's (Billy Halop) father, a colonel and an “inventive genius,” has come up with a formula that is coveted by enemy agents. With this formula, vibrations from explosions can set off other explosions within a range of 100 miles! Colonel Barton is kidnapped, and the enemy agents keep trying to kidnap Billy so that they can threaten him with harm to make his father comply. Billy and his buddies, including “Gyp” (Huntz Hall) and Terry (Gabriel Dell), not only get involved with real FBI men [headed by Jim Bradford, played by Joan Crawford's ex Phillip Terry], but also commingle with Junior G-Men led by Bradford's nephew Terry (Kenneth Howell). The enemy group is called the Flaming Torch and Billy and Gyp refer to the members of the outfit as “torchies.” The lead torchie is the same chubby guy who played head villain Monroe in The Green Hornet, Cy Kendall. The serial takes a while to get going but before long there are exciting cliffhangers involving a collapsing fire escape and a descending elevator cage. The theme music is good and there is absolutely no sign of Leo Gorcey.

Verdict: Not top-notch by any means but slightly better than the typical Universal entry. **1/2.