FILMS I JUST COULDN'T FINISH ROUND SIX

FILMS I JUST COULDN'T FINISH ROUND SIX. 

As noted previously, these are not reviews, per se, but notes on films that I watched or suffered through until I just gave up on them for one reason or another. Sometimes I skipped to different sections just to get a sense of what was going on or to see if the film became more entertaining. Not all of these pictures are necessarily bad, they just didn't hold my attention. If you see one on the list that you think deserves another look, let me know.

We're Rich Again (1934) deals with a once-wealthy family who are nearly bankrupt because of an upcoming wedding, with a process server camping outside the front door. I had high hopes for this allegedly screwball comedy but even the presence of Edna May Oliver and Billie Burke couldn't wring out any real laughs from this. Buster Crabbe spends most of his time in the swimming pool

The Hardy Boys in the Mystery of Ghost Farm (1957) was actually a serial that appeared on The Mickey Mouse Club. When I saw this on youtube I thought it was a real find, but I wasn't into it very long when I realized that this had little to do with the books I had loved, that the Hardy Boys (Tim Considine and Tommy Kirk) in the serial were borderline obnoxious, and the story was pretty silly and tedious. Although Frank and Joe Hardy already had girlfriends in the classic books, in this Frank has just discovered girls to Joe's dismay -- he just wants to solve mysteries.  If only!  

Edge of Fury (1958) concerns a psychopathic young man who gets involved in the lives of a woman and her two daughters at their beach domicile. This movie had its points of interests but it's one of those low-budget independent pictures that either grabs you or just turns out to be a waste of time. I gave it about forty minutes and gave up. 

Fire Monsters Against the Son of Hercules (1962) was actually an Italian peplum flick originally titled Maciste sontrol i mostri. Several of these dubbed flicks were turned into "Son of Hercules" features with a terrible pop tune playing over the credits. Our hero battles a silly-looking sea monster that has rolling eyes. Even I couldn't stand that much of this! 

The Caretaker (1963), also known as The Guest, is adapted from Harold Pinter's play by Pinter himself. I was impressed by the fine acting of Donald Pleasance and Robert Shaw during the first half hour, but then Alan Bates walked in and started stinking everything up with his obnoxious performance of an odious character (as he did in Butley). Pinter and Bates? I could abide no more! 

Five Golden Dragons (1967), produced by Harry Alan Towers, concerns an American (Bob Cummings) in Hong Kong who gets involved with the titular criminal cult. In his last film, Cummings -- still playing the aging epicene bumbling playboy like he did in Love That Bob! -- is completely out of place in a kind of dull euro-thriller that fails to hold the attention. The "dragons" are played by Chris Lee, George Raft, Dan Duryea, and Brian Dunlevy in unnecessary cameos that at least netted  them a trip to Hong Kong. Terrible! 

Leaving Las Vegas (1995). I had wanted to see this for years, but after about half an hour I was already bored with the lives of these pathetic losers. I don't like spending time with people like this in real life, so why should I spend over two hours with them in a movie? Yes, I know the film is acclaimed and Nicolas Cage won an Oscar, and I'm certainly not saying that it's bad, but with so many other choices to watch this just didn't grip my attention.  

Perry Mason: The Case of the Jealous Jokester (1995 telefilm). After Raymond Burr's death, the producers of the TV movies decided to continue the franchise with Hal Holbrook playing not Perry Mason, but a lawyer known as Wild Bill McKenzie who was a friend of Mason's. This is the second and last of two films featuring Holbrook. Burr's absence makes the entire enterprise seem pointless but while I did try to get into this, I found it tedious. 

Antlers (2021) starts out promisingly and has a classy look, but this story of odd doings in a mine and a strange creature that haunts a young boy is so slow-paced and has such little energy that after awhile I skipped to the finale and found it to be just more of the same in monster flick terms. Very disappointing, although there is some decent acting and slick cinematography. 

Death on the Nile (2022). Although I enjoyed Kenneth Branagh's remake of Murder on the Orient Express, I was less impressed with this rather plodding remake of Death on the Nile. Part of the problem, for me at least, is my familiarity with the storyline and the various twists created by Agatha Christie. But while the cinematography is first-rate I found this production to be somewhat listless. Once the main murder occurred, I knew what was coming and I wasn't sufficiently energized to see how Branagh would handle the very same events. Maybe there were differences in this version, I don't know and I just didn't care. For some reason the whole thing reminded me of a 1930's musical. The prologue relating how and why Poirot grew his famous mustache is unnecessary, to say the least.  

THE MYSTERIOUS CASE OF NANCY DREW AND THE HARDY BOYS

THE MYSTERIOUS CASE OF NANCY DREW AND THE HARDY BOYS. Carole Kismaric & Marvin Heiferman. Simon and Schuster;

While other juvenile mystery series fell by the wayside, Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys have been consistently published for around seventy years! This engaging volume, packed with cover facsimiles and other photos, looks at the creation of the three detectives, the Stratemeyer syndicate that packaged them, some of the ghost writers of the various books, how the books were revised over the years, and the various ways that Nancy and Frank and Joe Hardy have been reinvented and repackaged over the years to keep them interesting and relevant to teens of all ages. Along the way there are sidebars looking at how teenagers steadily grew into an identity and demographic (and sales force to reckon with) all their own -- until now everything seems geared to teenagers. There is also some discussion of the old Nancy Drew movies starring Bonita Granville as Nancy, and the various TV series devoted to the characters, beginning with the serialization of The Hardy Boys' first book The Tower Treasure (as The Mystery of the Applegate Treasure) on The Mickey Mouse Club in 1956.

If there's any problem with the book it's that one senses the authors' were not particular fans of the series they're writing about, which makes the book an interesting collection of info and anecdotes that is, unfortunately, devoid of a certain personal enthusiasm. (And a smart copy-editor certainly should have flagged a line wherein the authors lump homosexuality in with other "nightmares" of modern life such as "divorce and teen suicide.")

While there have been many, many new adventures of Nancy and the Hardys in various formats, the original (revised) books are still available in hardcover from Grosset and Dunlap (everything else is published by Simon and Schuster). The original stories (before the revisions) can be found in used bookstores and on ebay or ioffer.com. The best of these include (for The Hardy Boys): Hunting for Hidden Gold, The Sinister Sign Post, A Figure in Hiding, The Twisted Claw, The Mystery of the Flying Express, The Wailing Siren Mystery, The Clue in the Embers, The Ghost at Skeleton Rock, The Clue of the Screeching Owl, and The Haunted Fort. [NOTE: Some of the earlier titles have been completely rewritten and have entirely different storylines.] Above-average Nancy Drew titles include The Clue in the Crumbling Wall, Mystery of the Tolling Bell, and Password to Larkspur Lane.

As the book relates, some fans were outraged at the streamlining and updating of the books in the 50's to 60's. While it's true that some books and characterizations lost a bit of flavor (the intrepid Nancy Drew, sort of an early feminist heroine, was toned down a bit, and the Hardy Boys' delightful Aunt Gertrude lost a bit of her pepper) and that some of the new storylines were pretty bad, it's also true that the streamlining cut out some dull, meandering passages and some of the revised stories were an improvement over dumb and dated originals rife with racist stereotypes. Deciding whether it's the original story or the revised/new version which is better has to be done on a book by book basis.

NOTE: Other juvenile/young adult mystery series of note include the Ken Holt series by Bruce Campbell (The Secret of Skeleton Island is the first and best) and the Rick Brant science-adventure (and mystery) series by John Blaine, including The Rocket's Shadow and The Lost City. These series did not survive past the late sixties/early seventies, more's the pity.

Verdict: For the inner child in you. ***.