PYRO

Barry Sullivan and Martha Hyer

PYRO (aka Feuge aka Pyro ... The Thing Without a Face/1964). Director: Julio Coli.

"I won't rest until you and all of your family are dead ... my breath on your back will be like a cold wind from Hell." -- Vance.

Vance Pierson (Barry Sullivan of Suspense) travels to Spain with his wife, Verna (Sherry Moreland of Fury of the Congo) and their daughter so he can work on a special project with his associate, Julio (Fernando Hilbeck). Unfortunately, Vance meets up with Laura Blanco (Martha Hyer) when he goes to see a house -- resulting in a very strange and awkward sequence -- and the two begin an affair. Vance admits that he'd marry Laura if only he didn't already have a family. Supposedly wracked with guilt -- although with the cool, disaffected Sullivan it's hard to tell -- Vance breaks off the affair, but Laura is not the type to take no for an answer, leading to more than one tragedy ... Pyro is misnamed, because while there are fires and arxonists aplenty in the movie, there are no genuine pyromaniacs. Pyro has an interesting plot so it holds the attention, but it's not that well-produced or directed, sometimes has the appearance of a travelogue, has a too-weird musical score, and never becomes the fascinating nail-biter it might have been with a master director at the helm and a much better script. As well, certain aspects of the story line defy credibility. Sullivan and Hyer are both competent -- Sullivan is at times better than that -- but Hyer lacks the real acting chops to make her portrayal anything more than another vicious kitten as she was in Picture Mommy Dead. A Spanish film, this was picked up for US release by American International, but it was not a success.

Verdict: This had real possibilities ... **1/2.

KISS KISS BANG BANG

 KISS KISS BANG BANG (1966). Director: Duccio Tessari.

Kirk Warren (Giulano Gemma) is about to be executed when he receives a pardon on the condition that he steal a formula the government wants before it can fall into the hands of the mysterious "Mr. X." Warren also wants to be paid a million dollars and when his liaison balks, decides he'll steal the formula for himself. He enlists the help of several aides, including his girlfriend Alina Shakespeare (Nieves Navarro), pulls off the robbery, then is caught in a cat and mouse game of trying to get paid for the formula as he dodges friend and foe alike. There's an acrobat, a parrot named Socrates, a talking pigeon, and an elderly lady who wields a mean cane. Warren is given a gun that emits laughing gas instead of bullets. Of all the James Bond parodies that were made, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang has to be one of the worst. Gemma, with his male model good looks, makes a convincing enough lover boy and anti-hero, there are some good settings, including Venice, and one decent scene when Warren has to parachute out of a plane onto a mountaintop, but mostly the movie is like one of the worst episodes of Batman and about as funny. It's interesting to note Warren uses a car that can go underwater, as in a much later James Bond movie with Roger Moore. The picture's score has musical diversity but is almost uniformly lousy. A dubbed Italian-Spanish co-production.

Verdict: Unfunny and atrocious. *.

THE AWFUL DR. ORLOFF

THE AWFUL DR. ORLOFF (aka Gritos en la noche/L'Horrible Dr. Orloff/1962. Director: Jesus [Jess] Franco.

With the assistance of the mute, disfigured servant Morpho (Ricardo Valle), Dr. Orloff (Howard Vernon) kidnaps young woman whom he uses in experiments to try to restore the beauty of his horribly scarred daughter, Melissa (Diana Lorys). Inspector Tanner (Conrado San Martin) is assigned to the case, in which several women have disappeared and descriptions are circulating of two sinister men. His fiance, opera singer Wanda (also played by Lorys), has seen the killer and stupidly decides to try to trap him on her own. Very reminiscent of Eyes without a Face, made two years earlier, almost to the point of being an imitation of it, The Awful Dr. Orloff is atmospheric and beautifully photographed by Godofredo Pacheco. There is full frontal nudity, much grabbing of naked breasts, and the film was undoubtedly considered sick for its day. The performances are adequate, but aside from the moody and poetic visual look of the film, this isn't especially memorable. Still, it's a lot better than many of Franco's movies [Count Dracula]. A Spanish-French co-production. For some reason in this the opera "Faust" is attributed to Meyerbeer instead of Gounod.

Verdict: Nice to look at if little else. **1/2.

WHERE TIME BEGAN aka THE FABULOUS JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH

WHERE TIME BEGAN (aka The Fabulous Journey to the Centre of the Earth/1977). Director: Juan Piquer Simon.

In 1898 Hamburg Professor Otto Lindenbrock (Kenneth More) discovers an old book that details a trip into the interior of the earth by one Arne Saknussemm. With his niece Glauben (Ivonne Sentis), her boyfriend Axel (Pep Munne), and a shepherd named Hans (Frank Brana), he descends into an extinct volcano and discovers giant mushrooms, living sail-back reptiles, mammoth turtles, a giant ape a la King Kong, and an underground sea full of slimy rubber monsters with big teeth This is a low-budget Spanish version of Verne's novel, which makes quite a few changes [the professor has a niece instead of a nephew] but in some ways is more faithful than the vastly superior 1959 Hollywood version. At least the cavern scenes aren't over-lit as in the Hollywood film, and there are some good sets and effective sequences. This version adds another character, Olsen (Jack Taylor), who shows up inside the earth, appears to be some kind of time traveler, and at one point shows his companions a futuristic laboratory in a cavern in which all of the workers look just like him -- this is never explained and adds nothing to the movie but confusion. The special effects throughout are variable, with no process shots combining man with monster. The cast is all right, with Sentis and Munne making an attractive couple. Ultimately, the whole production is somewhat tedious and unmemorable. Simon later directed another Verne adaptation, Mystery on Monster Island, which was somewhat better.

Verdict: A C+ for effort and a C- for execution. **.

COUNT DRACULA

Christopher Lee

COUNT DRACULA  (1970). Director: Jess Franco [Jesus Franco].

This is probably not the worst movie directed by prolific Spanish hack Jess Franco, but it's still not very good. It is purported to be a [fairly] faithful adaptation of Bram Stoker's "Dracula" with Lee playing the Count [and having more dialogue than he did in his first appearance as the vampire in the superior Horror of Dracula] and Herbert Lom as Professor Van Helsing, now running a clinic in which Renfield (Klaus Kinski) is one of the patients. Lawyer Jonathan Harker (German actor Fred Williams) pays a call on the count, barely escapes from him; discovers that Lucy (Soledad Miranda), a friend of his fiancee Mina's Maria Rohm), is suffering from some sort of blood disease; and so on. Lee (although he seems a bit bored at times) and Lom are fine, but the movie, told in a straight-forward but tedious manner, has absolutely no style and doesn't hold the attention.

Verdict: Watch Horror of Dracula or the original Dracula with Lugosi instead. *1/2.

HORROR EXPRESS

HORROR EXPRESS (1972). Director: Eugenio Martin. 

Professor Alexander Saxton (Christopher Lee) arranges for an ancient fossil he has discovered to be shipped aboard a train upon which he is traveling, along with a colleague named Dr. Wells (Peter Cushing). However, this "fossil" turns out to be alive, able to emit reddish rays from its eyes that parboil a person's brains and turn their own eyes solid white. [It turns out that the creature's memories are stored not in its brain but in its eyes]. The monster is also able to transfer its consciousness into other people's bodies, as well as revivify its victims for more "fun." This period piece teaming horror great Lee with Cushing is not as memorable as one might have hoped for, but it does have some interesting sequences and concepts. Telly Savalas adds some spice as Captain Kazan who comes aboard the express late in the picture to try to figure out why so many are dying. Made in Spain. 

Verdict: An express you might like to take, but not to worry if you miss it. **1/2.

SOUND OF HORROR

SOUND OF HORROR (El Sonido prehistorico/1964). Director: José Antonio Nieves Conde. 

Professor Andre (Arturo Fernandez) heads a motley group of people who are looking for a treasure from the sacking of Athens that's hopefully buried in a remote cave in the countryside outside the Greek city. Unfortunately, they discover that the treasure is apparently guarded by a small but deadly dinosaur (probably a velociraptor, although never referred to as such, years before Jurassic Park) that has a chameleon-like ability to disappear into its surroundings, rendering it effectively invisible. Like a nifty fifties-style B picture, this little-known Spanish horror film is suspenseful, creepy, and fast-paced; a highly effective little sleeper. The jangling sound FX cooked up for the creature are unnerving, and Luis De Pablo's score adds to the atmosphere. Ingrid Pitt plays a very different role from her Countess Dracula and Carmilla in The Vampire Lovers; this was her first movie. 

Verdict: Dig in and enjoy! ***.