DOCTORS WIVES

DOCTORS' WIVES (1971). Director: George Schaefer.

"I don't appreciate your sleeping with your wife." 

Lorrie Dellman (Dyan Cannon) announces to a group of friends, all of whom are married to doctors as she is, that she intends to sleep with all of their husbands, and has already gotten to two of them. The next day Lorrie is caught in bed with a doctor and shot to death by her husband as everyone wonders which man (who survived the shooting and is fighting for his life in the hospital) was her lover. And this is just in the first ten minutes!

WIVES: McCargo, Williams, Cannon, Rule, Roberts

Unfortunately, anyone hoping for a serious film or just a trash wallow will be disappointed, as Doctors Wives is not a very good picture and sadly isn't quite bad enough to be much fun either. Judging from this movie, doctors, nurses and interns spend almost as much of their time having affairs as they do tending to patients. The wives in the picture consist of Amy (Janice Rule of The Swimmer) who is married to Peter (Richard Crenna), who is having an affair with his head nurse Helen (Diana Sands), whose little boy has an aneurysm. Then there's Della (Rachel Roberts of When a Stranger Calls) who is married to Dave (Gene Hackman) and confesses to him that she also had sex with lusty Lorrie. Maggie (Cara Williams) is separated from Joe (Carroll O'Connor) and drinks too much, while neglected Elaine (Marian McCargo aka Marian Moses) beds an intern-stud named Mike (Anthony Costello) even as her hubby Paul (George Gaynes of One Touch of Venus) is similarly occupied elsewhere. You need a scorecard. (If this makes you want to rush out and buy the DVD, be forewarned.) 

DOCTORS: Gaynes, Hackman, Colicos, O'Connor, Crenna

Others have noted that Doctors Wives comes off more as a racy and frank nighttime TV soap opera than a theatrical movie, and having the competent but bland, strictly small-screen Crenna in the lead doesn't help. Otherwise the cast is game with Roberts, Sands, Cannon and Williams making the best impression. And John Colicos is especially notable as the very cool, near-sociopathic wife killer who  schemes to get out of police custody when he's called to operate on Helen's son, and there are also good turns from Richard Anderson as the D.A. and Ralph Bellamy as Cannon's father. Anthony Costello also scores -- literally as well as figuratively -- as the horny and busy intern. The business with a gal named Sybil recording all of her sexual episodes is stupid, however, as is much of the movie. Several plot elements go unresolved but at least there wasn't a sequel! 

Verdict: For those anxious to see close-up shots of open heart surgery only! Some good performances but otherwise not worthwhile at all. **. 

STAR!

Daniel Massey, Julie Andrews, Richard Crenna

STAR! (1968). Director: Robert Wise.

It must have seemed like a good idea back in the sixties. Let's take the director of the mega hit The Sound of Music, Robert Wise, and team him up with Julie Andrews, the star of not only that film but of Mary Poppins. This was the period of big, long "road show" movie musicals, and everyone must have figured Star! would be one of the biggest and most successful of them all. Boy, were they wrong! Let's get one thing straight at the start. Star! didn't fail because tastes had changed (even if they had); it failed because it was bad.

"Poor Jenny" from Lady in the Dark

Even if The Sound of Music hadn't been based on a hit musical, it had a compelling story line. Star! is not based on anything but the life of Gertrude Lawrence, best known to those of us today as the star, with Yul Brynner, of the wonderful Rodgers and Hammerstein Broadway musical The King and I. She had only a few film appearances, and while she was well-known in theatrical circles, she was perhaps not quite a household name. So Star! was already lacking built-in pre-appeal. Then there was the fact that the only thing Lawrence and Andrews had in common is that they were British; Andrews simply wasn't able to successfully approximate the real Gertrude Lawrence. The sketches and songs early in the picture that are meant to be funny fall completely flat because Andrews, despite her talent, is no Lucille Ball  -- nor Lawrence. Andrews makes a good try at coming off like a tempestuous and difficult diva (which is how the film tries to portray Lawrence ) but she just can't get that far away from Maria Von Trapp.

Spending spree at Cartier's 

Star! provides some basic facts of Lawrence's life, although it fictionalizes and exaggerates a lot and combines two suitors, a banker and a small-time producer, into one character (Richard Crenna). Her other suitors include a military captain (Michael Craig), another actor named Charles (Robert Reed), a show biz type briefly essayed by Anthony Eisley, and a husband named Jack (John Collin), who is nothing much like Lawrence's actual first husband. Her closest relationship is probably with Noel Coward, played herein by a de-sexualized Daniel Massey. (The production saved money no doubt by casting male actors who couldn't command large fees.) The film also details her troubles with debts and taxes that nearly landed her in jail, and one of the best scenes has her dramatically declaiming before a a judge (Murray Matheson of Wall of Noise) in bankruptcy court. Lawrence spent much more than she earned, thinking nothing of, say, dropping into Cartier's to buy whatever she fancied.

"He Never Said He Loved Me"

There are several production numbers in the film, staged by actor-choreographer Michael Kidd [It's Always Fair Weather], but most of them are unmemorable, campy, too-weird, or all three. The "Poor Jenny" number from Lady in the Dark is at least lively, but also staged in a way that is more stupid than inventive. There is a silly number set in a Limehouse brothel that could have used more dancing. The one production number I enjoyed, very well performed by Andrews, was one in which she appears to be a harem girl singing about how her doctor loves all of her separate parts but "He Never Said he Loved Me." It has the whimsy that the rest of the film is lacking. At another point Andrews sings a simple love song on a bare stage and nails it beautifully.

The movie makes the mistake of proceeding as a documentary of Lawrence's life which the lady herself is watching and commenting on. Although this is a widescreen picture, about half the movie uses about only a third of the screen to reproduce black and white newsreels. It's a dumb and pointless approach. But then the whole project was ultimately pointless, laying an egg at the box office, almost killing off Andrews' career, incurring the wrath of bored critics, and doing little to revive interest in the real Gertrude Lawrence, considered one of the greatest theatrical talents of the 20th century -- more's the pity. The movie never even mentions her appearance in the film version of The Glass Menagerie, nor --shockingly -- her triumph in The King and I. 

Verdict: Ten good minutes out of three hours (!) is not enough to save this movie. **. 

UN FLIC / DIRTY MONEY

Alain Delon

UN FLIC (aka Dirty Money/1972). Director: Jean-Pierre Melville.

Simon (Richard Crenna of The Evil) owns a nightclub in Paris but is secretly head of a gang that robs banks and steals a load of heroin off of a train. Simon's girlfriend, Cathy (Catherine Deneuve), is shared by Simon's friend, Edouard Coleman (Alain Delon), who happens to be a cop investigating these very crimes ... Un Flic (which means "a cop" in French) certainly has an intriguing premise, but the approach -- which is either minimalist or merely indicative of too much being left on the cutting room floor --  strips it of real intensity, as the characters are all stick figures. We never learn how Simon and the other gang members fit together, how he got to become friends with Edouard, the true relationship between Cathy and either man etc. and all we're left with is some modestly well-crafted "caper" scenes, one of which features some unfortunate and unconvincing miniatures of a train and helicopter. Delon [The Yellow Rolls Royce] is terrific, in spite of the fact that we don't learn too much about him except that he's quite tough and rigorously unsentimental. Deneuve is given so little to do it's a wonder why she even bothered showing up on the set. Michael Conrad, who appeared with Joan Crawford on The Virginian,  plays one of the gang members, and there's nice work from an unknown actress (?) who plays a transvestite who provides Eduoard with information. One expects a final revelation or twist that never comes, and some moments are simply inexplicable.This was Melville's last film.

Verdict: This example of French film noir holds the attention but you keep hoping for more. **1/2.

THE EVIL

Richard Crenna

THE EVIL (1978 aka House of Evil). Director: Gus Trikonis.

C. J. Arnold (Richard Crenna) and his doctor wife, Carolyn (Joanna Pettet of Casino Royale), decide to renovate a brooding, half-dilapidated old mansion with the help of some friends and colleagues. These include teacher Raymond Guy (Andrew Prine), his student-girlfriend, Laurie (Mary Louise Weller), young Pete (George O. Hanlon Jr.), who plays dumb practical jokes, Felicia (Lynn Moody), and Mary (Cassie Yates), who brings her German shepherd along. Unfortunately, there's some sort of presence in the house that C. J. inadvertently lets loose when he opens up a pit in the basement. It isn't long before the group finds itself trapped in the mansion, with the doors and windows literally sealed by some force that won't let them break through no matter what. Needless to say, the members of the group die in various awful ways, often related to electrocution. The Evil is not a terrible picture -- it has some atmosphere and suspense as well as some creepy situations -- but in making its evil Satanic force so literal at the end it's almost comical. Some of the actors are on occasion defeated by the melodramatic sequences they find themselves in, although Victor Buono [The Strangler] proves effective (despite the absurdity of his role) in the film's finale. Somewhat reminiscent of The Legend of Hell House, which came out five years earlier.

Verdict: Not much subtlety to this! **1/2.

DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1973)

Samantha Eggar

DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1973 telefilm). Director: Jack Smight.

In one of television's more pointless exercises, this TV movie is a remake of the Billy Wilder 1944 classic. The story, based on James Cain's novel, remains the same. Insurance salesman Walter Neff (Richard Crenna) and Phyllis Dietrichson (Samantha Eggar) conspire to do away with her husband (Arch Johnson), hoping to invoke a double indemnity clause in his insurance by making it look like an unusual accident. If you've never seen the original movie, or even if you have, this version will still prove entertaining because of the suspenseful storyline, but compared to the Wilder version with Fred MacMurray, Barbara Stanwyck, and Edward G. Robinson, this is like a high school production. The actors aren't bad, with Eggar making a suitably sociopathic Phyllis and Lee J. Cobb as good as ever in the Robinson role [if not as good as Robinson, whom he apes to some degree]. As for Richard Crenna? He rushes through the opening and closing scenes like a complete amateur [possibly he was directed that way as this telefilm is only 75 minutes long!] but for the rest of the movie he's okay, and was probably cast for the same reason MacMurray [who was much better] was, that likability factor that makes the unpleasant character more palatable. Jack Smight's direction is strictly by the numbers, completely devoid of style, and he does nothing to increase the tension. The murder scene itself might as well be  a trip to the supermarket. It also has to be said that this kind of noirish material plays better in the right time period, the forties, than updated to the seventies.

Verdict: Stick to the original. **1/2.

OVER-EXPOSED

OVER-EXPOSED (1956). Director: Lewis Seiler.

"You'd use your grandmother's bones to pry open a cash register!"

The ads for this picture made it seem as if it was a behind-the-scenes story of scandal sheets such as Confidential that were popular at the time, but it's really just another lousy Cleo Moore movie. In this Moore plays Lily Krenshka, who is nearly run out of town before being befriended by an elderly photographer named Max (Raymond Greenleaf) who teaches her all the tricks of the trade. Before long she's been rechristened Lila Crane and is off to Manhattan where she shrewdly and ruthlessly rises to the top of her profession, moving from a "flash" girl snapping photos in night clubs to fashion photographer, as well as being offered photo-journalistic assignments by her boyfriend, newspaper reporter Russell Bassett (Richard Crenna). Bassett fears that all Lila is interested in is making money, and his fears are confirmed when he assumes she sold a photo of a sweet dowager (Isobel Elsom of Ladies in Retirement) having a fatal heart attack to a scandal sheet. With its one-dimensional characters and busy if dull story line, Over-Exposed just doesn't grip. It also suffers from not having a more mesmeric lead actress, although Moore certainly isn't bad, although the scene when she argues with a jealous co-worker played by a vivid and excellent Jeanne Cooper illustrates the difference between acting and merely expressing personality; Moore's chief note is one of petulance. With only a couple of minutes screen time Cooper steals the movie away from the star. Over-Exposed would certainly have been more palatable with a gripping actress like Stanwyck or Crawford in it -- or Cooper in the lead --  but even then it wouldn't have been one of their more memorable movies. Crenna is competent but uninteresting as the boyfriend so its no wonder he only became a leading man on television. Constance Towers is supposed to be in this movie as Shirley but her role is too small to make an impression. The occasional sharp bit of dialogue isn't enough to save this.

Verdict: At 79 minutes it's 77 minutes too long. *1/2.

EVE ARDEN ON TV: THE EVE ARDEN SHOW AND OUR MISS BROOKS

Eve Arden

EVE ARDEN ON TV: THE EVE ARDEN SHOW and OUR MISS BROOKS.

Beginning as a radio show, Our Miss Brooks was transferred to TV with most of the same cast for four seasons from 1952 - 1956 [a feature film was released immediately thereafter]. Eve Arden played teacher Connie Brooks, who dealt with an acerbic principal, Mr. Conklin (Gale Gordon, who later became the bane of "Lucy's" existence), had some interesting students such as Walter (Richard Crenna), as well as a big crush on fellow teacher Mr. Boynton (Robert Rockwell), who was also pursued from time to time by Miss Enright (Mary Jane Croft, who also appeared with Lucy). Her landlady was the lovable Mrs. Davis (Jane Morgan). Many episodes are on retail DVD, and a few can be viewed at the Internet Archives. The series, bolstered by Arden's great expressions and the droll delivery of Gale Gordon, was very popular in its day. For its 4th and final season the show got rid of most of its regulars, moved Miss Brooks to a new location, and then brought everyone else back when ratings began to dip. Too late to save the show.

Arden followed up Brooks with her second, less successful sitcom, The Eve Arden Show (1957- 58), which lasted just one season. 4 episodes are available on a retail DVD, but these can also be seen/downloaded for free on the Internet Archives. In this Arden played author and widowed mother of twin girls, Liza Hammond. Hammond's mother was Frances Bavier, previously on It's a Great Life and later Aunt Bee on The Andy Griffith Show. Allyn Joslyn played George, who booked Liza on various lecture tours. In one episode, Liza deals with her stage fright while addressing a women's group. In another, her head winds up on a sexy body on the cover of her latest book. Her daughters hero-worship another mother during a PTA "white elephant" sale, and in the final episode one of the girls gets sick as Liza leaves for Washington D.C. Arden and the rest of the cast are all quite good, and the scripts are generally of the B or B+ quality, although the last episode is much less successful.

Years later Arden appeared on another successful sitcom, The Mothers-in-Law.

Verdict: Arden is always interesting in whatever she does. ***.