SAY ONE FOR ME

Debbie Reynolds and Robert Wagner

SAY ONE FOR ME (1959). Produced and directed by Frank Tashlin. 

Father Conroy (Bing Crosby) has a parish in the middle of the theater district and holds services at two in the morning. When one parishioner, Harry (Les Tremayne), falls ill and can't work, his daughter, Holly (Debbie Reynolds), takes up the slack. Harry and Father Conroy think she's working as a secretary, but Holly is actually appearing in a nightclub with her smooth and handsome partner and boss, Tony Vincent (Robert Wagner). Now the trick is to keep that wolf Tony at bay while both of them jockey for stardom. When Father Conroy gets a chance to put together a TV special, Tony thinks he's In Like Flynn -- but is he?

Ray Walston with Der Bingle

Say One for Me is artificial from the first frame to the last, and comes off more like something out of the 1930s than the 1950s. Bing doesn't strain too much to put over his familiar portrayal of Father Conroy, and Reynolds and Wagner are perfectly professional. Wagner sings and dances in this, but he's no threat to Fred Astaire. The supporting cast is perhaps of more interest: In addition to Tremayne, we've got Connie Gilchrist as the priest's cook and housekeeper; Joe Besser -- "Stinky" on The Abbott and Costello Show -- as Tony's manager; and especially Ray Walston in a terrific turn as an alcoholic associate of Tony's. Father Conroy cures the man of his addiction overnight! 

Judy Harriet as June January

There are a few songs by Cahn and Van Heusen, most of which are forgettable, with the exception of Bing's "I Couldn't Care Less" and "Christmas All Year Through." Judy Harriet plays a girl who is rejected for the nightclub by Tony and tells him in a year she'll be a star, which happens at the end of the movie as she warbles her hit record, "The Night Rock n Roll Died" -- also forgettable. The best music in the movie is actually the theme music by Lionel Newman. If the movie weren't treacly enough, it also throws in a baby and an unwed mother. Sebastian Cabot shows  up briefly as a fat Monsignor, and Herb Alpert is the sexy trumpet player in the background of one of the numbers.

Verdict: You can stand this for about an hour but unfortunately it's two hours long! **.   

DAMN YANKEES

Whatever Lola Wants: Tab Hunter and Gwen Verdon

DAMN YANKEES (1958). Produced and directed by George Abbott and Stanley Donen.

"I was the ugliest woman in Providence, Rhode Island." -- Lola, remarking upon her origins

Joe Boyd (Robert Shafer) is a manic fan of the Washington Senators baseball team. The Devil -- in the form of a man named Applegate (Ray Walston) offers him a chance to become young and play for his favorite team against the "damned Yankees," even offering him an out. As "Joe Hardy" (Tab Hunter), Boyd becomes a star player with many fans, but he can't quite forget the wife, Meg (Shannon Bolin), he left behind. But will 172-year-old vamp Lola (Gwen Verdon) be able to keep Hardy in line? With its highly theatrical premise, this Broadway hit should not have worked as a movie but it does, mostly due to its performances and its recreation of some excellent production numbers. With the exception of Tab Hunter, most of the Broadway cast was transplanted to the big screen, a wise decision, especially in the case of Verdon. Although Verdon may not have been seen as a truly formidable sexpot, she is a highly talented performer with great dancing and acting skills and a really killer figure. Walston is as delightful as ever, and Hunter [Island of Desire] -- while not in the same class as the others -- does an okay job as the rather shy Hardy who wants to stay faithful to his wife. He briefly attempts some dancing as well and manages to pull it off. Rae Allen and Jean Stapleton [Dead Man's Folly], both of whom also appeared in the Broadway show, are snappy as, respectively, the inquiring reporter, Gloria Thorpe, and the likable neighbor, Sister Miller. Shafer and Bolin were primarily stage performers, and the former appeared in just this one picture. The score by Adler and Ross boasts some tunes that have become standards: "Whatever Lola Wants:" and the spirited "You Gotta Have Heart," but there's also Joe's nice farewell to his sleeping wife ("Goodbye Old Girl"); a snappy Mambo number; and the knock-out production number for Verdon and Hunter's "Two Lost Souls." Bob Fosse [Cabaret] did the choreography for both show and film; he and Verdon were married two years later. There's lots of dark humor and a poignant conclusion.

Verdict: One of the very best of the hit Broadway show film adaptations. ***1/2.

PORTRAIT IN BLACK

PORTRAIT IN BLACK (1960). Director: Michael Gordon. Produced by Ross Hunter.

Sheila Cabot (Lana Turner) is a beautiful woman married to a sick and seemingly hateful old man named Matthew (Lloyd Nolan). One day Sheila's lover, David (Anthony Quinn), who happens to be her husband's doctor, tells her how easy it would be to get rid of him. When Matthew conveniently kicks off, Sheila and David think they are above suspicion. But then a certain insinuating letter arrives ... Portrait in Black is an exhilarating suspense film whose chief strength is a superb performance from Quinn and an excellent score by Frank Skinner [Back Street] that helps keep viewers on the edge of their seats as all the various twists and turns of the plot -- and there are many -- skillfully unfold in a screenplay by Ivan Goff and Ben Roberts (based on their stage play). Michael Gordon's direction at least keeps things moving at a brisk pace, and there is some fine photography of San Francisco settings by Russell Metty [Miracle in the Rain]. While Turner and Quinn [Wild is the Wind] may not seem to have that much chemistry, Quinn's passion simply enfolds Turner and helps empower her more than competent performance. As for the rest of the cast: Lloyd Nolan; Sandra Dee as Turner's step-daughter; John Saxon as Dee's boyfriend; Richard Basehart as a scheming associate; Dennis Kohler as young Peter, Dee's step-brother; Virginia Grey as a secretary; and Ray Walston as a chauffeur who may know too much are all quite good, and for extra added measure we get Anna May Wong, of all people, playing the maid. Paul Birch shows up very briefly as a detective. This picture, now forgotten by most, was quite famous in its day, and is certainly worth a look. Producer Ross Hunter insures that the film has that certain Hunter gloss. The ad campaign for the pic seems to summon up images of Lana Turner, her daughter, and Johnny Stompanato which was turned into Where Love Has Gone with Susan Hayward in the Turner part.

Verdict: Very entertaining melodrama that isn't boring for an instant. ***.

GALAXY OF TERROR aka MINDWARP

A touchy-feely alien gets another victim

GALAXY OF TERROR (aka Mindwarp/1981). Director: Bruce D. Clark. Produced by Roger Corman.

"There's no horror here we don't create ourselves."

A spaceship is sent to a distant planet to see if they can find the survivors of the last expedition. What they find are the remains of the spaceship, some weird creepy-crawly aliens that attach themselves to their body parts, and a giant pyramid-like structure in which they are stalked by half-seen creatures and must confront their own fears. This is an old idea -- astronauts bedeviled by materializations of their own terrors -- but it's also an obvious copy of Alien. The movie has surprisingly good production design, courtesy of James Cameron [later famous as the director of Titanic] and Robert Skotak, and an interesting cast, including Edward Albert, Erin Moran, the ever-brooding Zalman King, Ray Walston as a cook with secrets, Robert Englund [Nightmare on Elm Street], Sid Haig as an astronaut who's murdered by his own severed arm, and Grace Zabriskie as a kind of butch captain, sole survivor of something called the Hesperus disaster (as if any vessel would be named after a famous shipwreck!).  Taffee O'Connell is pursued by a maggot grown to giant size that seems more interested in tearing off her clothing and licking her naked body than it is in eating her. Despite some fairly impressive sequences and decent acting, Galaxy of Terror has a cheapjack look and feel to it, and while not awful, it's not that memorable, either.

Verdict: One of the better Alien imitations, so you can imagine how awful some of the others were. **1/2.

OF MICE AND MEN (1992)

OF MICE AND MEN (1992). Director: Gary Sinise.

John Steinbeck's heartbreaking study of loneliness and shattered dreams has such a strong story that it carries this flawed remake both starring and directed by Sinise (pictured). As actor and director Sinise is perfectly competent but rather lightweight, although he certainly isn't bad as George Milton. Although John Malkovich is not as memorable as Lon Chaney Jr. in the 1939 version, he is more on the money as Lennie. Ray Walston offers a solid performance as old Candy -- is there anything more pathetic than seeing him crying on the cot after his dog has been shot?-- and Casey Siemaszko scores as the nasty little Curly. Sherilynn Fenn is excellent as Curly's unnamed wife, who is much more sympathetic in this version. This also gives a good scene [per the novel] to the black character Crooks (a vivid Joe Morton), as in the original version. The 1939 version was more artistic, but this version has its own strengths, a certain graphicness, and it does pull one along. But it's empowered every step of the way by Steinbeck's genius. Screenplay by Horton Foote.

Verdict: Disturbing and affecting. ***1/2.

POPEYE

POPEYE (1980). Director: Robert Altman.

Robert Altman probably wasn't the best choice to helm this live-action adaptation of the classic cartoons, although Popeye is by no means as dreadful as reputed. The trouble is simply that the film isn't well-edited and that the fun peters out long before the conclusion, with silliness and noisiness overtaking humor. Robin Williams isn't bad as Popeye, but Shelley Duvall really steals the show as Olive Oyl, and Wesley Ivan Hurt -- “Swee'pea” -- is one of the cutest babies in the movies. The first half of the picture as Popeye arrives in the fishing village of Sweethaven to find his Pappy is quite charming and entertaining. When Pappy (Ray Walston) shows up, however, we've got one Popeye too many. The climax with Popeye pursuing a captured Olive Oyl isn't well handled by Altman and is boring instead of exciting, although there is a nifty, bad-tempered octopus on hand. Jules Feiffer's screenplay is perfectly workable but gets bogged down in the latter half. However, the scenic design is excellent, and Nillson's songs are memorable, especially “Sweethaven” [despite the closing chords that remind one of Annie's “Tomorrow”] and “Everything is Food.” Paul L. Smith makes a nice Bluto and Roberta Maxwell scores as Nana Oyl. Despite its undeniable imperfections, there are a lot of good things in this movie, including the staging of “Everything is Food,” and it's all quite cute and clever.

Verdict: Fun if you're in a silly mood and don't expect too much. **1/2.