LITTLE SISTER: MY INVESTIGATION INTO THE MYSTERIOUS DEATH OF NATALIE WOOD

LITTLE SISTER: My Investigation into the Mysterious Death of NATALIE WOOD. Lana Wood (with Lindsay Harrison). HarperCollins; 2021. 

I admit I didn't expect much from this book, but it is so skillfully put together by co-author Lindsay Harrison, so well-paced and constructed, that it actually makes for a very compelling read. Of course the animosity between Natalie Wood's younger sister and her widower, Robert Wagner, is no secret, so one has to take some of this with a grain of salt.  Lana Wood also doesn't seem to realize how people's behavior can be affected by copious amounts of alcohol. Still there's never been any proof that Natalie, say, surprised her husband and shipmate Christopher Walken having sex and took off in a dinghy in distress -- one of the theories -- and indeed the evidence seems to clearly point in another direction. If we are to believe reports and comments made by the two detectives (as filtered through Lana) who were assigned to Natalie Wood's death after the case was finally reopened, the original investigation was severely botched, either by incompetence or a star-struck attitude toward Robert Wagner, still a TV fixture at the time; and pathologist-to-the-stars Thomas Noguchi made serious errors as well. Clearly something bad happened on that ship and Wagner knows a lot more than he's telling. His account of that evening [Pieces of My Heart] simply doesn't match the facts, but so many years have gone by that he can only be considered a "person of interest" and not a "suspect." Well, judge for yourself. 

Lana and Natalie Wood

Little Sister is interesting for other reasons, as it looks at a highly dysfunctional Hollywood family with a rather odious stage mother, one sister who hit the heights of stardom, while the other struggled, dealing with financial issues and her own daughter's addiction and tragic death. There are juicy if disheartening stories, such as how (according to Lana Wood) Kirk Douglas essentially raped Natalie when she was only fifteen. Lana repeats the story of Natalie divorcing Wagner (she later remarried him) because she found him in a "compromising position" with his butler! (One suspects that Lana was the source for this in other bios of Natalie and this may be why Wagner pretty much hates her.) Lana also claims that a powerful agent told her that Wagner had had her blackballed throughout Hollywood -- surely he didn't have such clout!? While nowhere near as successful as her older sister, Lana Wood amassed quite a few credits, including making an impression as Plenty O'Toole in Diamonds are Forever and appearing in other movies such as The Girls on the Beach. 

Verdict: Worthwhile, well-written, and absorbing memoir. ***.

ANNIE HALL

Diane Keaton and Woody Allen

ANNIE HALL (1977). Director: Woody Allen. Screenplay by Allen and Marshall Brickman.

:There's too much emphasis on orgasms to make up for the emptiness in life.: -- Alvy.

"Who said that?" -- Annie.

"Leopold and Loeb." -- Alvy.

Comedian Alvy Singer (Woody Allen) tells us of his relationship with, and ultimate bittersweet breakup from, girlfriend Annie Hall (Diane Keaton) in a tale that looks at how people can love one another but may not be right as lifelong partners. Annie Hall is one of Allen's most likable and entertaining movies, a frequently inventive comedy-drama (with emphasis on comedy) in which Allen/Singer talks directly to the audience, and he and other characters observe and comment as they look back at their younger selves with earlier lovers, and so on. Allen [Shadows and Fog] and Keaton [Shoot the Moon] both offer winning performances and there are small roles/cameos from Colleen Dewhurst [You Can't Take It With You], Christopher Walken, Carol Kane, Shelley Duvall, Janet Margolin, and larger roles for Tony Roberts (whose character of a sitcom actor never seems remotely real) and Paul Simon as a wealthy record producer (he's fine). An odd scene has Annie talking about a tragic, shell-shocked uncle without having any real understanding of what the poor man must have gone through and laughing at it until she realizes "I guess it's not funny." Duh! The film has a sub-text of the differences between a New York and Hollywood lifestyle, not to mention the differences between Manhattan and L.A. You can't say that either Alvy or Annie are people you might actually want to hang out with, but they make an engaging sort of couple for the movie if nothing else. Allen won Oscars for writing (along with Marshall Brickman) and directing and was nominated for his performance; Keaton won the Best Actress Oscar, and the movie won Best Picture.

Verdict: Not really a masterpiece as such, but lots of airy charm and creative fun in this. ***.

ALL-AMERICAN MURDER

Charlie Schlatter and Joanna Cassidy

ALL-AMERICAN MURDER (1991). Director: Anson Williams.

Artie Logan (Charlie Schlatter) is a misfit and fuck-up whose last chance for college is Fairfield where the motto is "Reform -- and Conform." Artie meets and falls for a pretty and very friendly young lady named Tally (Josie Bissett of Melrose Place), but it isn't long before someone sets her on fire. Cop P. J. Decker (Christopher Walken) suspects Artie, but is willing to go along with him as the young man does his own investigation (just one of the unbelievable developments in this story). Other suspects include the horny and hypocritical Dean Darby (Craig Stout); his equally horny wife (Joanna Cassidy), who beds Artie on his first day in school; creepy Harry Forbes (J. C. Quinn), who may have been obsessed with Tally; and Doug Sawyer (Mitchell Anderson), who engaged in numerous threesomes with Tally and others. Tally turns out to be quite different from how Artie imagined, even as others who knew her are killed by various means. I could have sworn that this was a lame imitation of the Scream movies were it not for the fact that the first Scream didn't come out until five years later. It's hard to know what to make of this oddball combination of semi-slasher film with sitcom style dialogue, and situations that never remotely ring true. Schlatter has charm, but he gives a one-note performance for the most part (and is hampered by the script, to be fair) and Christopher Walken [Mousehunt] walks though the movie with his typical dead fish expression, probably wishing he were on any set but this one. Joanna Cassidy [The Outfit], on the other hand, is fun as the dean's witty wife. The denouement is pretty much apparent from the moment we learn of the condition of the corpse. Did anyone really think the identity of the killer would be a surprise? The gore in the movie is minimal but the shot of the dean's dead body delivers a quick shock. Director Williams played "Potsie" on Happy Days -- it's as if the character directed the movie instead of the actor!

Verdict: You have to see the ludicrous snake death to believe it. **.

HAIRSPRAY (2007)

Mother and daughter: John Travolta and Nikki Blonsky

HAIRSPRAY (2007). Director: Adam Shankman.

"If we get any more white people in here this'll be a suburb."

Tracy Turnblad (Nikki Blonsky) manages to get on Baltimore's Corny Collins dance program where she earns the scorn of Amber Von Tussle (Brittany Snow) and her mother, Velma (Michelle Pfeiffer), who happens to be station manager. Will Tracy win the coveted Auto Show crown and integrate the Corny Collins show as well? The original Hairspray was turned into a Broadway musical, and this is less of a remake of the film as it is a screen adaptation of the stage work. Instead of classic rock songs we get some generic "Broadway" tunes, although a couple of them ["I Love You, Baltimore"] are catchy, and the black anthem "There's a Dream" is memorable. Still, this version is in virtually every way inferior to the original, lacking charm and with too heavy an approach. Water's Hairspray made its points on integration in a light, satirical way that got it across without pounding you on the head with its "message" but this Hairspray says the same things, however admirable, over and over and over again. It's like a Black Pride movie made mostly by white people; except for Queen Latifah [Mad Money], the stars are all white, too. It also has a sub-text of what you might call Fat Pride, but can't resist more than its quota of fat jokes with Tracy and her mother constantly being offered something to eat. The only performers who make any kind of impression (in the right way) are Michelle Pfeiffer [Grease 2] and Queen Latifah (wearing Ruth Ford's blond wig from the original?). As Tracy's friend Penny, Amanda Bynes is too old and too sophisticated, and the less said about John Travolta [Carrie] in drag as Edna Turnblad the better. Some members of the supporting cast are perfectly okay (James Marsden in his limited screen time as Corny Collins; Zac Efron as Link) but Jerry Stiller again fails to impress, this time in the role of Big Gal clothing shop owner, Mr. Pinky. At least Travolta and Christopher Walken (playing Mr. Turnblad) seem to be having fun with their number "You're Timeless to Me." The movie eventually becomes quite boring, which you can't say about the original.

Verdict: Some things should be left alone. **.

MOUSEHUNT

MOUSEHUNT (1997). Director: Gore Verbinski.

Two brothers (Nathan Lane and Lee Evans, both of whom are excellent) inherit a ramshackle mansion from their father, who owned a string factory. The boys discover that the house is actually a lost manor by a famous architect, and may well be worth millions, so they set about renovating it. The only trouble is the manse's sole resident, a cute, abnormally intelligent, and amazingly aggressive mouse who is not about to be put out or deprived of his supper and cozy bedroom. Eventually the fellows become obsessed with getting rid of the mouse and try everything from pest controllers (a very amusing Christopher Walken) to a nasty feline known as "Catzilla " -- with ironic and devastating results. This dark comedy is not for every taste -- I watched it with a friend who did not laugh once while I found it hilarious -- but those who are game will find it inventive and very, very funny. The mouse -- played by a real mouse and what appears to be an animatronic version -- is delightful. Good supporting cast [William Hickey, Eric Christmas, Vicki Lewis etc.] and a lively musical score by Alan Silvestri add to the fun.

Verdict: Even if you "hate meeses to pieces" you may enjoy this. ***1/2.

A VIEW TO A KILL

A VIEW TO A KILL (1985) Director: John Glen.

Roger Moore's final Bond film plays better on TV than it did in the movies; on the small screen its low-key (as opposed to epic or grandiose) quality can be better appreciated. Christopher Walken is an Americanized ex-KGB agent who wants to dominate the computer market by manipulating [via flooding] the faults near Silicon Valley. Walken is fine as the psychotic villain, although the scene with him gleefully machine-gunning the mine workers is a bit over the top. While the movie is more serious than other Moore-Bond adventures, there is a cartoonish early scene on the Eiffel Tower, and late in the movie some San Francisco men in blue chase Bond in a long and inappropriate scene like something out of the Keystone Kops. A deadly steeplechase race isn't bad, however, nor is the flooding of the mine and the subsequent draining of the lake above. The finale involving a dirigible and the Golden Gate Bridge is a knock-out. Patrick Macnee is very appealing as Bond's associate, as is pretty Tanya Roberts as a normal girl caught up in the nasty business. Grace Jones is also fine as Walken's exotic bodyguard and hit woman.

Verdict: While the picture is entertaining and holds the attention, it just isn't special enough to be a classic. **1/2.