GENTLEMEN MARRY BRUNETTES

Jane Russell and Scott Brady in Paris

GENTLEMEN MARRY BRUNETTES (1955). Director: Richard Sale.

Connie Jones (Jeanne Crain) is annoyed that her sister Bonnie (Jane Russell) can't stop herself from accepting one proposal after another from smitten gentlemen. The two flee from New York to Paris where they somehow become the toast of the town due to the efforts of Rudy Vallee (playing a kind of slimy variation of himself) and wannabee managers David (Scott Brady) and Charlie (Alan Young). The ladies are booked into several high-tone establishments but are always fired when they refuse to wear the highly immodest outfits that the managements propose. Ensconced in a hotel room and wondering how they'll pay the bill, they suddenly find they have a unknown benefactor who is plying them with gifts -- everything from gowns, diamonds and poodles to a luxury car complete with chauffeur. Wondering what their mysterious benefactor will expect when he finally introduces himself, they accept an invitation to perform in Monte Carlo in Monaco, where the truth will finally come out.

Jane Russell and Jeanne Crain

Gentlemen Marry Brunettes, a sort of sequel to Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, exists in a separate universe of its own that has absolutely no relation to reality. It is never explained how or why David even knows of the existence of the sisters, or why Charlie, who turns out to be very wealthy, shares a garret with David and has to resort to stealing newspapers and food. (Yes, there's something about his father's edict that he can't spend money on himself, but food?) For that matter, why is Rudy Vallee, who can't really sing a note if we're being honest, playing himself? 

Ain't Misbehavin': Alan Young in a gorilla suit!

Then there are the song numbers. The original songs are pretty awful and the versions of classic songs such as Rodgers and Hart's "My Funny Valentine" are poorly done. The absolute nadir of this film -- and possibly of virtually every musical that ever came out of Hollywood -- is Alan Young croaking "Ain't Misbehavin'" while wearing a gorilla suit. (This is during a so-called African number that is performed in Monte Carlo.) The performances are pretty much what you would expect, perfectly adept and professional, with Crain in an unusual role for her. Jane does her own singing, Brady and Crain are dubbed aside from one number, and I'm not sure about Young except that he or whoever dubbed him sings flat. 

Scott Brady and Jeanne Crain

Despite all of this Gentlemen Marry Brunettes moves along swiftly and is never especially offensive. Jane Russell is in her usual butch-femme mode throughout, and Young is more femme than butch. The film is greatly bolstered by obvious location filming in both Paris and Monte Carlo, although there is back lot work as well. My favorite line is quoted by Young as spoken by his rather horrible father: "Every time you enter a room it's like somebody left."

Verdict: At least there are great views of Paris and Monaco in CinemaScope and Technicolor! **1/2. 

ALICE FAYE: A LIFE BEYOND THE SILVER SCREEN

ALICE FAYE: A LIFE BEYOND THE SILVER SCREEN. Jane Lenz Elder. University Press of Mississippi; 2002.

Alice Faye is one of the few movie stars who walked away from it all when she was still at the top of her game. Faye appeared in several musicals, became a queen of Hollywood, then longed for more of a private life and a successful marriage, and also itched for a chance to show off her acting chops in more serious pictures instead of the "technicolor twaddle" (as Bernstein's "Trouble in Tahiti" would put it) she was usually offered. Fay gave a very good performance in her last picture under the studio system, Fallen Angel, although author Elder writes that most of Faye's best scenes were left on the cutting room floor and Linda Darnell got most of the screen time. (I have a much higher opinion of Preminger's picture than others do.) Furious and disheartened, Faye left the studio and did a radio sitcom with comedian husband Phil Harris [The High and the Mighty] instead, making a brief "comeback" in the second musical version of State Fair (the conditions of the filming as described herein are reflected in Faye's face in the movie) and then a cameo in Won Ton Ton, as well as a stint on Broadway. Faye's first marriage was to handsome crooner Tony Martin [Music in My Heart], but the fact that they never had much time to spend together, the disparity in their success levels, and Martin's "causal romances" caused Faye to divorce him. Although Harris was also alleged to be a ladies man, he was rather homely compared to Martin; perhaps Faye felt he would be less likely to stray. In any case, their marriage lasted for decades. Still, Faye's career we not free from scandal, such as the early rumors of an affair with her mentor Rudy Vallee [The Palm Beach Story] that dogged her for quite some time. Faye appeared in such snappy musicals as King of Burlesque and On the Avenue. Alice Faye: A Life Beyond the Silver Screen is an excellent biography that sets the scene for each period in just enough detail, describes the supporting players in Faye's life without going on too much about them, and is very well-written and researched.

Verdict: A fine job. ***1/2.

MOTHER IS A FRESHMAN

Rudy Vallee, Loretta Young and Van Johnson

MOTHER IS A FRESHMAN (1949). Director: Lloyd Bacon.

Since her trust fund can't be accessed for several months, Abigail Fortitude Abbott (Loretta Young), a widow with a college-age daughter, has to figure out how to pay her bills. Most people would get a job, but instead Abigail decides to take advantage of a bizarre clause in her grandmother's will which allows anyone with her exact name to get a scholarship to her alma mater. So Abigail goes to classes at the same school as her daughter, Susan (Betty Lynn of Cheaper By the Dozen), but the two keep their relationship a secret. Wouldn't you know that both mother and daughter fall for the same handsome and charming Professor Michaels (Van Johnson)? Mother is a Freshman is highly-contrived but cute, with excellent performances, but it doesn't quite sustain the fun, although it's consistently pleasant. Barbara Lawrence [Kronos] plays another co-ed, and Rudy Vallee, once a singing idol, is again cast in middle-age as a stuffy unattractive-to-women type, in this case Abigail's lawyer, as he was in Unfaithfully Yours and other movies.

Verdict: Perky Loretta and dreamy Van make a good combo. **1/2.

THE PALM BEACH STORY

Rudy Vallee and Claudette Colbert

THE PALM BEACH STORY (1942). Written and directed by Preston Sturges.

"Men don't get smarter as they get older, they just lose their hair."

Geri (Geraldine) Jeffers is married to an engineer, Tom (Joel McCrea), who can't seem to get a break. Geri figures that they would be better off if they divorced, and if she married someone wealthy she could get him the $100,000 he needs for his dream project, a "suspended" [!] airport. Although broke, she manages to make her way to Florida via the zany members of the "ale and quail club" and meets a man named J. D. Hackensacker (Rudy Vallee), who is fabulously rich. Tom flies down to stop Geri from getting a divorce and winds up in the clutches of J. D.'s man-hungry sister, the Princess Centimillia (Mary Astor), who thinks he's Geri's brother... The Palm Beach Story is a delightful comedy with fine performances and some hilarious dialogue. Colbert and Astor come off best, and McCrea and Vallee are quite good although they are not especially gifted comic actors. Robert Dudley almost steals the show as a sweet old man who wants to rent the Jeffers' apartment and winds up giving Geri money for the back rent. There's a riotous scene when the Ale and Quail Club shoot up the club car with Fred "Snowflake" Toones [Seventeen] comical as the nervous and then horrified bartender. Other notables in the cast include William Demarest, Mantan Moreland (dining club waiter); Franklin Pangborn [The Bank Dick] as an apartment manager; and Sig Arno as Toto, the princess' latest, unintelligible boyfriend. This is a charming and very funny movie. You may be confused by the frenetic credit sequence, in which there seems to be two Claudette Colberts, but all is explained (more or less) at the conclusion.  Sturges also wrote and directed Unfaithfully Yours, which is vastly inferior to this.

Verdict: A classic comedy. ***1/2.

UNFAITHFULLY YOURS

Linda Darnell and Rex Harrison

UNFAITHFULLY YOURS (1948). Written, produced and directed by Preston Sturges.

Sir Alfred De Carter (Rex Harrison of Blithe Spirit) is a world-famous conductor married to a younger woman, Daphne (Linda Darnell). Through the manipulations of his unpleasant brother-in-law (Rudy Vallee of My Dear Secretary), Alfred becomes convinced that Daphne is carrying on with his secretary, Tony (Kurt Kreuger). As he conducts classical and operatic pieces by Rossini, Tchaikovsky, and Wagner, he imagines different ways in which he can get even with the two, then finally tries to hatch one of the plots, which doesn't work out as well as it does in his fantasy. The "hero" in this actually contrives to murder his wife, but a bigger problem is the classical music background is totally at odds with what's happening on screen, which in turn has little to do with the music. The whole thing just doesn't work, and worse, is rather boring for long stretches. The cast -- including Barbara Lawrence of The Star as Vallee's sneering, belittling wife -- is quite good, but not enough to save the movie.

Verdict: Go to the opera instead. **.

MY DEAR SECRETARY

Mowbray and Douglas confer in interesting restaurant

MY DEAR SECRETARY (1948). Writer/director: Charles Martin.

Just before giving a lecture, author Owen Waterbury (Kirk Douglas) bumps into aspiring writer Stephanie Gaylord (Laraine Day). She applies for the job of his secretary after his old one, Elsie (Helen Walker), quits in a huff. Initially delighted to be hired, Stephanie realizes that what she hoped would be an interesting and intellectual position actually just calls for her to be playmate for her infantile employer, whom she nevertheless develops romantic feelings for. Throughout the movie the two make up and break up several times, but never convincingly. My Dear Secretary probably looked good on paper, and it has many amusing lines and a few genuinely funny sequences, but not enough to make it memorable. Douglas and Day are fine, but not as good as the supporting cast, which includes Walker, Keenan Wynn as Owen's agent, Irene Ryan [of The Beverly Hillbillies] as his feisty housekeeper, Alan Mowbray as a private detective, Grady Sutton as another writer, and especially Florence Bates as the delightful landlady. While not quite on their level Rudy Vallee is also good as Stephanie's original boss and suitor. Virginia Hewitt makes an impression as the sexy Felicia, who dates Owen for a time. When asked which famous actress the slinky and beautiful Felicia resembles, Wynn says "Zazu Pitts!" The movie is basically good-natured, but there are some mean-spirited bits and Douglas' character seems to be too stupid to be capable of producing a novel, however bad. [He is definitely a "movie" writer and not a real one.] A highlight of the film is when the characters convene in a restaurant [see photo] in which some of the booths are surrounded by "frames," making them resemble paintings. In his sixth film, Douglas doesn't grit his teeth quite so much, but then this is not exactly intense material.

Verdict: There are quite a few laughs but the film doesn't quite cut it.**1/2.