THE WASP WOMAN -- IN COLOR!

Wasp woman goes on the attack! 

THE WASP WOMAN (1959). Colorized. Directed by Roger Corman. 

Sales for Janice Starlin's (Susan Cabot) cosmetic company have been dropping since she stopped using herself in advertisements, but as she's on the wrong side of forty, she figures she has no choice. But when elderly Professor Zinthrop (Michael Mark) tells her that he has come up with an age-defying formula using royal jelly from wasps, she has hope and insists he use her as a guinea pig. At first the results are miraculous, with Janice looking as if she's in her twenties (Cabot was 32 at the time), but when she uses more and more of the formula to remain young, the results are less than felicitous. Janice turns into a horribly mutated wasp woman who attacks and feeds upon various people around her, including a solicitous nurse (Lani Mars) and a very obese night watchman (Bruno VeSota). 

Susan Cabot with Michael Mark

I have always gotten a kick out of this fun Corman cheapie-creepy, and I enjoyed it even more in well-done color! In addition to Cabot's excellent performance, this time around I appreciated Lynn Cartwright as the saucy secretary Maureen, who is given some amusing dialogue and runs with it. Fred Katz' jazzy musical score is a little odd, but it works well enough, and the film is full of a whole host of interesting B movie players: Anthony Eisley of Hawaiian Eye; Roy Gordon from Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman; Barboura Morris from Bucket of Blood; the aforementioned VeSota; and even Aron Kincaid [The Girls on the Beach] as a briefly-seen beekeeper, Roger Corman himself also shows up briefly as a doctor, so briefly that I didn't even notice him! I love the scene when Cabot and Morris have excited, happy girl talk over Janice's new youthful appearance. 

Verdict: Be careful what you wish for! ***.

THE LAST TIME I SAW PARIS

Van Johnson and Elizabeth Taylor

THE LAST TIME I SAW PARIS (1954). Director: Richard Brooks. Very loosely based on a story by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

In post-WW2 Paris, war correspondent Charles Wills (Van Johnson) meets beautiful Helen Ellswirth (Elizabeth Taylor). Initially attracted to Helen's sister, Marion (Donna Reed), he makes a date with her that is intercepted by Helen, leading to a major romance and marriage. Although the couple discover oil on property they own and have plenty of money, the marriage is threatened by Charles' inability to sell his novels to any publisher, the drinking and carousing that results from it, and Helen's reaction to this as well as his flirtatious relationship with the much-married divorcee, Lorraine (Eva Gabor). It all leads up to an unexpected tragedy ... The main strength of The Last Time I Saw Paris are the lead performances, which are better than the movie deserves. Taylor  plays the somewhat spoiled woman-child very well, but Johnson is especially outstanding, doing some of the very best work of his career. The trouble with the movie is not so much the basic plot but the screenplay by Julius and Philip Epstein, which indulges in one cliche after another and rarely delves into the situations with any depth. The final quarter of the film is the most memorable, as it finally deals with Charles' apparent rejection of Marion, as well as with his relationship with his young daughter,  Vicky (a charming Sandy Descher of Them!); these sequences are moving and very well-played. (Cast as Marion, Donna Reed truly has a thankless part.) Four years earlier Johnson and Taylor were teamed for a comedy entitled The Big Hangover, and there are times when the light soap opera tone of Paris threatens to just collapse into giggles; you get the sense the tragedy that occurs is meant to add some sobering substance to the proceedings, even if it doesn't quite work. Eva Gabor [The Mad Magician], who was always more talented than her sister Zsa Zsa (although hardly an acting genius) is fun as Lorraine; as Helen and Marion's rather irresponsible father, Walter Pidgeon is Walter Pidgeon. Roger Moore [A View to a Kill] shows up and is as smooth as ever as a playboy who dallies with Helen. Of all people, the corpulent Bruno VeSota [Attack of the Giant Leeches] shows up in a party scene clad in a tuxedo!

Verdict: Some tender and amusing moments, but Paris -- and Fitzgerald -- deserve better. **1/2. 

THE GIRLS ON THE BEACH

THE GIRLS ON THE BEACH (1965). Director: William Witney.

"I saw them on Ed Sullivan. Lovely boys -- but they could certainly use a haircut."

It turns out that the treasury of the Alpha Beta sorority is depleted, and a big mortgage payment is due. How can the girls raise the money to save their house? Some of the young women enter a cooking contest; Patricia (Lori Saunders) enters a beauty/talent competition; Arlene ((Anna Capri) gets nerdy, bright Stu (Peter Brooks) to help her with puzzles that pay; and Selma (Noreen Corcoran) and her pals get completely hoodwinked by three horny guys who promise them that they personally know the Beatles; the fab four will raise the money they need by singing at a show. Yeah, right. The Beatles, of course, never appear in this movie, but we do get the Beach Boys and Lesley Gore, who sings "It's Gotta Be You" and "Loser in Love" in the movie's most memorable sequences. Martin West plays Duke, the leader of the trio who "know" the Beatles, and Aron Kincaid and Steven Rogers are his pals; the funniest scene has them trying to duck out of the sorority house by dressing in drag. Sheila Bromley plays Mrs. Winters, the house mother who's given away all of their money; Arnold Lessing is Patricia's disapproving, hypocritical boyfriend, Frank; and there are cameos by Bruno VeSota [The Cat Burglar] and the ever-lovable Dick Miller [A Bucket of Blood] . Lana Wood appears as Bonnie. The gals try to imitate the Beatles with dismal results. William Witney directed a lot of lively cliffhanger serials such as The Crimson Ghost.

Verdict: Utterly amiable junk. **1/2.

THE CAT BURGLAR

Bruno VeSota's belly and June Kenney

THE CAT BURGLAR (1961). Director: William Witney.

"One of those snoopy, well-fed dames?"

Jack (Jack Hogan) burglarizes the apartment of Nan (June Kenney) and, along with other items, steals a briefcase containing important papers. Nan is unaware that the papers contain information on a new secret fuel formula and that they were acquired by her boyfriend, Alan (John Baer of Terry and the Pirates), for a group of spies. Nan and Alan do their best to get the papers back, embroiling the pawnbroker, Pete (Gene Roth), his associate, Muskie (Bruno VeSota), and the cat burglar himself, who does his utmost to get the papers back while struggling to stay alive. The Cat Burglar is a routine, TV-like production which is distinguished solely by some flavorful supporting characters, including Mrs. Prattle (Billie Bird), owner of the Paytell motel, and her son, Willie (Tommy Ivo), not to mention Bruno VeSota [Attack of the Giant Leeches], whose amazing belly is the true star of the picture. Roth and Kenney both appeared in Burt Gordon's Earth vs. the Spider. There are some interesting shots throughout the movie, and the performances are not bad, with Hogan a stand-out.

Verdict: Minor-league crime thriller. **.

THE UNDEAD

 














THE UNDEAD (1957). Producer/Director: Roger Corman.

 "Keep thy place, malignancy!"

Diana Love (Pamela Duncan of Attack of the Crab Monsters) is a prostitute who is regressed to a past life via hypnotism. Suddenly she finds that she is a witch named Helene living in medieval times and dealing with stuff she never had to deal with in the 20th century -- such as the fact that if she doesn't  die in the past she will have no future lives at all, and presumably this means her current life as Diana -- as well as such folk as Pendragon (Richard Garland, who was also in Crab Monsters), another witch named Livia (Allison Hayes), Smolkin the gravedigger [there's a nifty scene with Helene inside a coffin with a corpse essayed by Paul Blaisdell], and others. Richard Devon as Satan is a little hokey in the prologue, but gets better as the film proceeds. Dick Miller [A Bucket of Blood] is a leper, Billy Barty [The Day of the Locust] is an imp, and Bruno Vesota [The Wasp Woman] is an innkeeper, while Val Dufour plays Quintus Ratcliff and Dorothy Neumann is the elderly witch, Meg Maud. Duncan gives a good performance, and Hayes is as vivid as ever. This is an interesting picture with an unusual plot; it should have been made into a full-fledged fantasy film with FX, monsters, color and the works. As it is, it's entertaining and special fun for Corman fans.

Verdict: It's certainly different! ***.

INVASION OF THE STAR CREATURES

Space amazons give boys a brain drain

INVASION OF THE STAR CREATURES (1962). Director: Bruno VeSota. 

Jonathan Haze, who appeared in several Roger Corman features such as the starring role in The Little Shop of Horrors, wrote the screenplay for this atrocity and was supposed to play the lead with Dick Miller as his co-star. Wisely they passed up the opportunity and the utterly talentless Robert Ball and Frankie Ray were instead cast as two fucked-up soldiers who are sent to investigate a cave and discover strange vegetable-like aliens [who resemble something out of a grade school play] and two amply-endowed Amazon-like extraterrestrial "professors" (Gloria Victor and Delores Reed). The film was directed by Bruno VeSota, who'd appeared as an actor in such films as Attack of the Giant Leeches but had the good sense not to give himself a part in this 99 cents production [one assumes Roger Corman passed on this as well]. Ball and Ray, who make Martin and Lewis knock-offs Sammy Petrillo and Duke Mitchell [Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla] seem like Lawrence Olivier and Charles Laughton in comparison, are just terrible, but even talented comics would have a problem putting over this awful material. The busty outer space visitors want to take over Earth, but when they try to drain the brains of Ball and Ray they find nothing there -- no surprise. The gals are put into blissful shock by kisses from the fellows, making you wonder if the whole point of this production was for two creepy guys to have an opportunity to smooch two women who are so out of their league it isn't funny! Ball managed to rack up over sixty credits, while Ray had only one more credit after this. Reed and Victor are more talented than the boys, but Victor, like Ray, had only one more credit after Star Creatures and Reed never worked in pictures again [another big surprise]. Just dreadful and tedious with nary a real laugh. Mark Ferris, who plays the Colonel, is so completely inept as an actor that it's no wonder this was the only film he ever appeared in.

Verdict: Not even Roger Corman could have saved this hopeless production.  0 stars.

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 VOLUME 6

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 VOLUME 6. Gunslinger (1956). Director: Roger Corman.

I confess I was never a fan of Mystery Science Theater, in which a nerdy guy and two silly robots sit in front of a screen [cutting off the bottom third of the movie] and make sophomoric comments about the "bad" B movies they're watching. True, some of the movies were pretty bad, but not every old low-budget black and white movie is automatically a stinker. Another problem is that the people behind MST weren't especially talented, and the comments they make during the movie aren't much funnier than what you'd hear from someone if you watch one of these movies with a group of friends. [In fact, most of the jokes are pretty predictable.] There's also the fact that comments during movies (when not completely annoying) are funnier when they're made by people you know about people you know. Still, MST was a success of sorts with intellectually-challenged high schoolers and college "kids" of all ages. [We won't even talk about the lame "sketches," enacted by dufus amateurs, that are interspersed with the movies.]

This volume features Attack of the Giant Leeches [no world-beater, but fun enough on its own without added comments, especially when you can come up with better ones on your own], the genuinely abysmal Teenagers from Outer Space, and Roger Corman's Gunslinger with John Ireland, Beverly Garland and everybody's favorite 50 Foot Woman, Allison Hayes. Gunslinger, on its own terms, is a perfectly entertaining little B western with generally good performances from its cast, and would have been a lot more fun without the MST crew piping in with their annoying and mostly unfunny comments. Garland becomes sheriff after her husband is killed, and gets into a war with saloon and dance hall owner Hayes -- the two have a pretty zesty "cat-fight" at one point -- then falls for a gunslinger (Ireland) that Hayes hired to kill Garland. Bruno Ve Sota of Leeches and Jonathan Haze of Little Shop of Horrors are also in the cast.

Verdict: Gunslinger: **1/2.
Mystery Science Theater 0 stars.

THE WASP WOMAN (1959)

THE WASP WOMAN (1959). Director: Roger Corman.

Very entertaining low-budget horror pic with a terrific lead performance from Susan Cabot as Janice Starling, the head of a troubled cosmetics empire. 40-year-old Starling, who was spokeswoman and chief model when she was younger, figures the answer to sagging sales is to get her youth back, which she does by employing wasp enzymes cultivated by Eric Zinthrop (Michael Mark, who appeared in everything from the original Frankenstein and sequels to Letter from an Unknown Woman). Unfortunately, the injections have the unforeseen side effect of turning her into a hideous, clawed monstrosity with a thirst for blood. Bruno VeSota of Attack of the Giant Leeches fame is one of the victims, and there's a nifty scene when The Wasp Woman attacks a screaming nurse. Anthony (Fred) Eisley is one of the board members and Barboura Morris is appealing as Starlin's secretary. Lynn Cartwright is fun as a receptionist named Maureen who is always bitching about her boyfriend, Irving (she was one of the Venusian gals in Queen of Outer Space). When Janice starts losing her youth you almost start to feel sorry for her. Fred Katz's musical score is effectively jangling.

Verdict: Cheap but zesty. ***.

ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES

ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES (1959). Director: Bernard L. Kowalski.

A stiff, by- the-book game warden (Ken Clark) gets in dutch with his girlfriend (Jan Shepard) when they argue over how best to deal with a possibly deadly new species infesting the preserve: giant, blood-sucking leeches. Attack of the Giant Leeches isn't really a very good picture -- and rather slow in spots – but it has a certain atmospheric charm and weird authenticity. Bruno VeSota is the colossal husband of the trampy Yvette Vickers, who dallies with the hunky Cal (Michael Emmet). When Vesota forces them into the swamp at the point of his rifle, the leeches appear to grab them and drag them away, with the result that Vesota is arrested for their murders. The giant leeches – or rather leech men -- are played by stunt divers in costume and look creepy without being convincing. The actors are probably better than the picture deserves; Vickers is, as always, extremely vivid.

Verdict: Somehow the darn thing casts a certain cheesy spell. **1/2.