MARLOWE (1969)

Sharon Farrell and James Garner

MARLOWE (1969). Director: Paul Bogart. 

Philip Marlowe (James Garner of The Children's Hour) is hired by mousy Orfamay Quest (Sharon Farrell of It's Alive) to find her brother, but during his search the P.I. uncovers a blackmail plot involving squeaky queen sitcom star Mavis Wald (Gayle Hunnicutt of Dallas), who is having an affair with a racketeer named Steelgrave (H. M. Wynant). Little does he know that both cases are connected. Marlowe stumbles over a couple of corpses of men who have been killed with an icepick, and does his best to get along with Lt. French (Carroll O'Connor) and Sgt. Beifus (Kenneth Tobey). Two other characters Marlowe has to deal with are sexy stripper Delores Gonzales (Rita Moreno) and the karate-chopping enforcer Winslow Wong (Bruce Lee). 

Garner with Hunnicutt

Marlowe is an adaptation of Raymond Chandler's 1940's novel "The Little Sister," and this film almost manages to make a little more sense of its convoluted plot, but not quite. The movie updates the story to the sixties when it was filmed, so one has to look at Garner -- who is not bad -- as an alternate modern version of Philip Marlowe, but hardly the real deal. The best performances in this are actually from a truly excellent Sharon Farrell, O'Connor (who gets one speech taken from the novel), Tobey, and Moreno, who does a very sexy dance late in the proceedings. William Daniels and Jackie Coogan also have good roles and run with them. Hunnicutt is adequate in a smaller and less showy role than Garner or Farrell, although she gets billed after Garner. She and Farrell have a brief "cat fight."

Paging Rockford

Bruce Lee features in two sequences. The first is a funny one in which Lee breaks up Marlowe's office, upsetting the apparently straight hairdresser, Chuck (Christopher Cary), who is friendly with Marlowe, takes his messages, and teaches his trade to women in the office next door. The second is a really stupid sequence in which Lee -- discombobulated after Marlowe suggests he's gay -- hurls himself at his opponent and goes right over a railing several stories high. (As others have noted, any fight between Lee and Garner would actually not have ended well for Garner.)

Garner never appeared again as Marlowe, but he fled to television and starred as a private eye in The Rockford Files for several years beginning in 1974. 

Verdict: This is a modestly entertaining, somewhat confusing private eye flick made twenty years too late. **1/2. 

THE LOVE MACHINE

John Phillip Law as Robin Stone, the "Love Machine"

THE LOVE MACHINE (1971). Director: Jack Haley Jr.  

Newscaster Robin Stone (John Phillip Law of The Sergeant) attracts the attention of both Network head Greg Austin (Robert Ryan) and his lustful wife, Judith (Dyan Cannon), leading to him getting more than one promotion both on-camera and in the executive suite. Meanwhile Robin beds numerous ladies, including a model named Amanda (Jodi Wexler) and Judith, both of whom become much too possessive. Recognizing that Robin has become too big for his britches and is a threat both to his job and his power, Austin wonders if a morals clause might be one way to get rid of the threat. It's well known that Stone has had many ladies in his bed, but is he also involved with his good friend, the flamboyantly gay photographer and producer Jerry Nelson (David Hemmings of Deep Red)? Judith causes a scene at a Hollywood party that may have them all out on the street. 

Dyan Cannon and Robert Ryan

Robin Stone was originally to be played by Brian Kelly, but just before filming began he was involved in an accident which ended his acting career (although he went on to become a successful producer). John Phillip Law then took over as Stone but was given a very underwritten role to play. Law is handsome and okay in the part, but he lacks that certain charisma, that all-important X Factor, at least in this picture, and Stone remains a bit of a cypher anyway. In the Jacqueline Susann potboiler that this was based on, Stone not only gets involved with Amanda and Judith, but with an actress named Maggie. This character has been reduced to a bit, well-played by Sharon Farrell. Robert Ryan gives the movie a touch of class as Austin, and manages to maintain his dignity. Hemmings is quite good and sharp as Jerry, although he was understandably criticized for perhaps overdoing the swishiness of his performance. (Jerry is neither gay nor a photographer in the book.)  Dyan Cannon, an actress who for some reason always looks as if she should have a mustache, is also good as Judith. 

Jodi Wexler and David Hemmings

Jodi Wexler was introduced in this film, both her first and last screen credit. I did not think her performance was bad, as she was playing a sweet and naive young lady, but Love Machine was a major bomb that didn't do much good for anyone's career. Jackie Cooper makes the most of his role as Danton Miller, the network head of programming. Shecky Greene is a second-rate comedian basically playing a version of himself, and there are good turns from Maureen Arthur as a promiscuous publicity agent and William Roerick as another executive who councils both Austin and his wife. 

Jackie Cooper and David Hemmings

Both the novel and the film adaptation were utterly excoriated by the critics. The odd thing is that the movie isn't truly awful, it's entertaining and has some vivid performances and sequences. There's Judith discovering Robin in the shower with two nubile and busty twins (the Collinsons of Twins of Evil) and setting fire to the bedroom by pouring vodka all over their clothing, and a four-way fight scene between Robin, Judith, Jerry and a boyfriend, Alfie (Clinton Greyn), over a supposedly incriminating inscribed bracelet that Judith thinks will utterly ruin Robin as they all desperately scrabble to get it and slap, pummel and kick anyone who gets in their way. These scenes are deliberately amusing if not hysterical. While the knocks at the TV industry may not rise to the level of Network, the gay material is a bit tiresome, Stone is never sufficiently developed even though he's the main character, and the film just sort of ends abruptly without any major resolution, much of the picture actually plays quite well.  Law, however, was seen to better advantage in Danger:Diabolik. 

Verdict: If you take this in the right spirit and don't expect Citizen Kane, but the book is much better ... ***. 

KOLCHAK, THE NIGHT STALKER

KOLCHAK, THE NIGHT STALKER (1974 television series).

After the high ratings of the two movies featuring Darren McGavin as Carl Kolchak, intrepid reporter who uncovers the unusual in The Night Stalker and The Night Strangler, Kolchak was given his own series, which lasted one season, and took place in Chicago where he worked for International News Service (INS). Clad always in his rumpled white suit and straw hat, Kolchak would probably not be very likable were he not played by the always-likable McGavin, who is excellent in the show, along with Simon Oakland [Psycho] as his testy, rotund boss, Jack Grinnage as snooty Ron Updyke and the delightful Ruth McDevitt [The Birds] as senior reporter "Miss Emily" [these last two also worked at the paper and were semi-regulars]. The publisher's daughter Monique (Carol Ann Susi, who's now on The Big Bang Theory) also appeared in a couple of episodes before being called back to New York. Often closer to black comedy than out and out horror,  Kolchak could be pretty cheesy and silly, and was only modestly entertaining. Most of the episodes were not memorable, although at least four were better than average: "Chopper" guest stars spirited Sharon Farrell in the tale of a ghostly biker who comes back and beheads the old buddies who were responsible for his accidental death; "Firefall" deals with cases of spontaneous combustion; "The Trevi Collection" (with Nina Foch of The Return of the Vampire, an excellent Lara Parker from Dark Shadows, and Henry Brandon of The Land Unknown) deals with a woman who uses witchcraft to take control of a fashion house; and "The Devil's Platform" features Tom Skerritt of Alien as a politician whose campaign trail is dogged by "accidental" deaths and murders -- this is probably the best episode of the series.

Verdict: Fun, minor, easy to take, if hardly all that it could have been. **1/2.

THE SPY WITH MY FACE

THE SPY WITH MY FACE (1965). Director: John Newland.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. was such a successful program that the producers decided to try to make even more money by expanding certain episodes and turning them into movies. (Later on they only did this with two-part episodes, which generally needed no extra material.) This was fine for the foreign market, but a bit of a rip-off for Americans who had to pay to see what they'd already seen for free on TV. The Spy with My Face began life as "The Double Affair," a first season episode of the show in which THRUSH replaces Napoleon Solo (Robert Vaughn) with a surgically-altered lookalike. Senta Berger is the sexy THRUSH villainess who dallies with both the original Solo and the copy, and Sharon Farrell is the perky stewardess who falls for Solo. The plot has to do with Project Earthsave, which will employ a unique and deadly force developed by scientists in the event Earth were to be attacked from space. Naturally THRUSH wants to get its hands on this energy for its own purposes. The best scene has several agents approaching the underground vault that holds the mysterious force as the director (an effective Paula Raymond of Beast from 20,000 Fathoms fame) warns them not to look into the vault without goggles once it's opened -- for some reason you could be sucked inside the vault and killed. The Solo-double murders someone who's on to him by "accidentally" knocking off his goggles. Strangely, no one even makes an attempt to rescue the poor guy as, mesmerized, he walks into the vault and the director intones "we can't save a man who no longer exists." Scenes added to the telecast include an opening raid on a THRUSH HQ, and some sexier bedroom and shower scenes with Vaughn, Berger, and Farrell. This may be basically minor-league all the way, but it's still fun if you're an U.N.C.L.E. fan. Still at its shorter length as a TV episode it probably worked much better. (The TV episode was shown in black and white; the movie version is in color.)

Verdict: Fun for Man from U.N.C.L.E. maniacs. **1/2.