THE LOVE MACHINE

John Phillip Law as Robin Stone, the "Love Machine"

THE LOVE MACHINE (1971). Director: Jack Haley Jr.  

Newscaster Robin Stone (John Phillip Law of The Sergeant) attracts the attention of both Network head Greg Austin (Robert Ryan) and his lustful wife, Judith (Dyan Cannon), leading to him getting more than one promotion both on-camera and in the executive suite. Meanwhile Robin beds numerous ladies, including a model named Amanda (Jodi Wexler) and Judith, both of whom become much too possessive. Recognizing that Robin has become too big for his britches and is a threat both to his job and his power, Austin wonders if a morals clause might be one way to get rid of the threat. It's well known that Stone has had many ladies in his bed, but is he also involved with his good friend, the flamboyantly gay photographer and producer Jerry Nelson (David Hemmings of Deep Red)? Judith causes a scene at a Hollywood party that may have them all out on the street. 

Dyan Cannon and Robert Ryan

Robin Stone was originally to be played by Brian Kelly, but just before filming began he was involved in an accident which ended his acting career (although he went on to become a successful producer). John Phillip Law then took over as Stone but was given a very underwritten role to play. Law is handsome and okay in the part, but he lacks that certain charisma, that all-important X Factor, at least in this picture, and Stone remains a bit of a cypher anyway. In the Jacqueline Susann potboiler that this was based on, Stone not only gets involved with Amanda and Judith, but with an actress named Maggie. This character has been reduced to a bit, well-played by Sharon Farrell. Robert Ryan gives the movie a touch of class as Austin, and manages to maintain his dignity. Hemmings is quite good and sharp as Jerry, although he was understandably criticized for perhaps overdoing the swishiness of his performance. (Jerry is neither gay nor a photographer in the book.)  Dyan Cannon, an actress who for some reason always looks as if she should have a mustache, is also good as Judith. 

Jodi Wexler and David Hemmings

Jodi Wexler was introduced in this film, both her first and last screen credit. I did not think her performance was bad, as she was playing a sweet and naive young lady, but Love Machine was a major bomb that didn't do much good for anyone's career. Jackie Cooper makes the most of his role as Danton Miller, the network head of programming. Shecky Greene is a second-rate comedian basically playing a version of himself, and there are good turns from Maureen Arthur as a promiscuous publicity agent and William Roerick as another executive who councils both Austin and his wife. 

Jackie Cooper and David Hemmings

Both the novel and the film adaptation were utterly excoriated by the critics. The odd thing is that the movie isn't truly awful, it's entertaining and has some vivid performances and sequences. There's Judith discovering Robin in the shower with two nubile and busty twins (the Collinsons of Twins of Evil) and setting fire to the bedroom by pouring vodka all over their clothing, and a four-way fight scene between Robin, Judith, Jerry and a boyfriend, Alfie (Clinton Greyn), over a supposedly incriminating inscribed bracelet that Judith thinks will utterly ruin Robin as they all desperately scrabble to get it and slap, pummel and kick anyone who gets in their way. These scenes are deliberately amusing if not hysterical. While the knocks at the TV industry may not rise to the level of Network, the gay material is a bit tiresome, Stone is never sufficiently developed even though he's the main character, and the film just sort of ends abruptly without any major resolution, much of the picture actually plays quite well.  Law, however, was seen to better advantage in Danger:Diabolik. 

Verdict: If you take this in the right spirit and don't expect Citizen Kane, but the book is much better ... ***. 

DANGER: DIABOLIK

Dead or only resting? John Phillip Law as Diabolik

DANGER: DIABOLIK (aka Diabolik/1968). Director: Mario Bava.

Diabolik (John Phillip Law) is a ruthless master criminal who dresses in a black leather outfit that only exposes his eyes. He lives in an elaborate HQ with pools, caverns, equipment, and a humongous revolving bed, and shares his life and crimes with his girlfriend, Eva (Marisa Mell). His chief opponent is Inspector Ginko (Michel Piccoli), who is determined to bring him to justice. To that end Ginko forces hoodlum Ralph Valmont (Adolfo Celi of Thunderball) to arrange to kidnap Eve and ensnare Diabolik in a trap. "It takes a thief to catch a thief," intones Ginko. Danger: Diabolik is based on an Italian comic book which in turn was inspired by the adventures of French criminal Fantomas. The movie is very sixties in its pop-style sensibility, and at least one scene reminds one of the Batman TV series, but for the most part the pic is played more or less straight. Diabolik's schemes, especially as they pertain to some stolen emeralds and faking his own death, are extremely clever, and there's a neat sequence when Valmont and Diabolik are fighting each other even after they've fallen out of an airplane. The movie boasts some interesting settings and scenic design but Ennio Morricone's score is just horrible. Law [The Sergeant] makes a splendid Diabolik; Mell [One On Top of the Other] is effective as Eve; Celi and Piccoli are each fine as crook and inspector; and Terry-Thomas is wonderful as a dignitary trying to hold on to his dignity. This is much better than the sixties Fantomas movie, and much, much better than horror-specialist Bava's other "spy" pic, Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs.

Verdict: Highly entertaining comic book flick with a completely amoral "hero." ***.

THE SERGEANT

John Phillip Law and Rod Steiger

THE SERGEANT (1968). Director: John Flynn. Screenplay by Dennis Murphy from his novel.

"Rod Steiger Stuns as The Sergeant" -- poster tag line.

Although he's virtually unknown today [he passed away in 2005] Dennis Murphy garnered a lot of praise for his first and only novel, "The Sergeant," published in 1958. He wrote the screenplay for the film adaptation ten years later, and only did two other screenplays -- not exactly prolific. Murphy was married three times and was, presumably, straight. I have not read the novel, but from reviews it sounds like it might have been a triumph of style over content, with little in-depth characterization. And today would be considered hopelessly dated [like the movie]. In the film the two main characters are perhaps brought to life more by the actors than by Murphy's dialogue.

Master Sergeant Albert Callan (Rod Steiger), winner of the distinguished service cross, is assigned to a dreary maintenance outfit in post-war France. He is attracted by a young soldier, pfc Tom Swanson (John Phillip Law), who at first resists working as Callan's assistant when he offers him the job. But Swanson relents, and a kind of friendship develops between him and the lonely, rather unlikable Callan. Swanson is in the midst of a romance with a young lady named Solange (Lydmila Mikael), which Callan gets impatient with. He basically acts like a bastard with Swanson, until one day he can no longer control his passion ...

The Sergeant today comes off like a anti-gay diatribe against "queers" in the military. One review of the novel hinted that the Swanson character may have been a bit sexually ambiguous and conflicted, but there is no trace of that in the movie, which might have made it more interesting. While Steiger and Law both give excellent performances, and the film is professionally done, it is quite slow-paced and has no point to make aside from the obvious one: self-loathing closet queens in "macho" environments are doomed to miserable lives and suicide. There's no real attempt made to understand the sergeant and few attempts made to humanize him. A suggestion that Swanson might remind Callan of a young man he killed during the war is too ambiguous to make any impression. It's hard to understand why the film was even made, accept it may have been seen as a prestigious adaptation of a well-received literary novel. Old-fashioned "gay" movies like this can at least sometimes be entertaining, but The Sergeant isn't much fun at all.

Verdict: Steiger is fine but he's in the wrong movie. **.